Feeling a bit mad!

suzannemorris · Post by **suzannemorris** » Fri Dec 27, 2002 10:40 am

Hi All, I'm hoping that someone may be able to offer words of encouragement or at least tell me that I'm not losing my mind. The thing is AF arrived this morning and never have I felt so relieved to see her. The reason being that last night I got myself into a terrified state that I just might be pregnant.....I know, how crazy is that! I should be calling the hospital today to start the IUI cycle, however now feel too scared to go through with it. I'm not sure exactly what it is I'm afraid of, because I can't seem to let a rational thought settle in my head at the moment. Please tell me that I'm not the only one who has these crazy illogical thoughts! Thanks, Suzanne.x

fiona_lk · Post by **fiona_lk** » Fri Dec 27, 2002 11:12 am

Hi Suzanne, Illogical thoughts - if you were the only one to have them then this site would be soooo quiet! Did you wake up with af or did it start during the morning? If its the 2nd then tomorrow will be day 1 - I know confusing - and that's when you'll need to ring the clinic. Now, if you're not at work go have a relaxing bath, or go for a nice walk and put everything to do with babies/treatment etc out of your mind for a while. If you're at work, go and get some retail therapy at lunchtime girl. Yes, I know it is difficult but you'll find everything will look a bit clearer after. I'm fairly sure that what you are afraid of is the unknown. Our minds play silly games on us when we don't know what to expect from a situation. I went through the same thing before starting IUI after 2 years of slow NHS investigations and pumping useless drugs down me that made me ill (before finding out we have male factor infertility!). I'm guessing that even being pregnant is the unknown for you - that is scary too, despite wanting it so much. Are you doing a natural IUI cycle? If so, then there is nothing to worry about - a few blood tests and (as I affectionally call it) a 'turkey basting' session - just like sex only more people there, not as romantic, an uncomfortable bed but definitely less messy

. If you're having induction of ovulation then the injecting might worry you but don't - after the 1st few times you'll be an expert and wonder why you made any fuss, I promise. I wish you all the best of luck for when you start treatment and that your confusion subsides soon so that you can enjoy the positiveness that you feel from actually doing something. Take Care Love Fiona xxx [Edited by fiona_lk on 27-Dec-02 11:13]

suzannemorris · Post by **suzannemorris** » Fri Dec 27, 2002 1:13 pm

Hi Fiona, thanks so much for your response. I think you're right about it being a fear of the unknown. It's good to know that other people feel the same way though, stops me from feeling quite so crazy! It is induction of ovulation that we'd be having, not sure I feel able to go ahead this month though. Although I'm not sure I'll feel any braver in the future either. My Mom put the frighteners on me this morning by saying that the drugs I'll be taking will affect my hormones even more than normal (in other words if I'm crazy and illogical without treatment....!), I think she's dreading me having the treatment even more than I am! Thanks again for your advice, I am still at home and will definately go and have that hot relaxing bath you suggested, just as soon as I've tidied up a very untidy house! Take care, Suzanne.x

tshepher · Post by **tshepher** » Mon Dec 30, 2002 8:49 am

Suzanne Hope you are feeling a bit calmer now, you can always rely on Fiona, that girl is really centred and full of wisdom . I hope you do feel able to continue with the treatment. I'm sure your mum didn't mean to scare you and without being insulting to your mum sometimes the old-wives tales about how bad the hormone swings are going to be far outweigh the reality. So what if you are bit more tetchy or weepy than normal, for those that know you are undergoing treatment they will be supportive and for those that don't, just tell them you are taking antibiotics or something which is making you feel strange. The unknown is always scary but the possible outcome outweighs the down-side. Good Luck on whatever you decide. Terri xxxx

fiona_lk · Post by **fiona_lk** » Mon Dec 30, 2002 9:22 am

Hi Suzanne, Just to put your mind at rest even more, the 'induction of ovulation' (FSH) drugs do nothing to affect your emotions. Its only the down-regulating drugs in IVF (for example buserilin) which screw everything up. They effectively put you through a mock menopause - but you won't go through that for just IUI with induction. Even if you are injecting these alongside the FSH drugs it won't be the same quantities or for as long for it to have the same effect. Plus, as Terri says, the reality is nothing like the horror stories told. Only those who have been through the same thing can really tell you and I can promise that we're not just saying this - it really is not that bad. Glad I could help. Hope next year will feel more positive - I'm banking on it for me! Love Fiona xxx PS Thanks for your kind words Terri - I'm feeling back to normal now, much prefer helping others than needing help myself.

suzannemorris · Post by **suzannemorris** » Mon Dec 30, 2002 8:06 pm

Fiona & Terri, Thanks so much for your responses. I definitely feel reassured after reading them. Regarding the treatment, I've written this month off, as I'm feeling very anxious at the moment and don't really want to do anything that will make me feel even worse (if that's possible). Thanks again, it's so great to be able to get advice from people who have actually been through the same experiences. Wishing you both all the very best, Suzanne.x

Feeling a bit mad!

Feeling a bit mad!

Feeling a bit mad!

Feeling a bit mad!

Feeling a bit mad!

Feeling a bit mad!

Feeling a bit mad!

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