IVF for second (or third!!) babies

[BelB]

Hi there,
My name is Belinda and I am posting from Brisbane, Australia. I have a little girl Annie who is 13 months old and the result of a FET cycle way back in 2004. We are about to commence on a new cycle using a frozen embie, hopefully this will be successful for us, but if not we will embark on a new stimmed cycle for more embies. I guess going through this whole rollercoaster with a little one in tow has it's own unique challenges and emotions attached..ie, guilt (I already have one baby...am I pushing the envelope wanting another one??), wanting a sibling for my child, but not yet understanding how I'll manage with two little ones etc etc etc.

I was wondering whether there are other women here going through a similar situation?, if so, I would love to hear from you.

Kind Regards
Belinda

[Jeni Babes]

Belinda

i am still trying for my 1st baby, but i wanted to wish you tons of good luck. I hope that you create a sibling (or 2) for litttle Annie boo with your FET...

Good luck honey
love jen
xxxx

[Susie]

Hi, I have had IVF to get a second child and I understand what you say about the guilt etc, with me as we dont have too much money I was worried that the cost of the IVF would be better spent on things for the house or DD etc. One thing I did find though was knowing at the end of the cycle I would still have my gorgeous DD whatever the result, and I think knowing that helps you relax which I think is why my attempts were successful.
I waited too long between cycles I wish I had tried sooner for my 2nd child, but due to doubts etc I kept putting it off until it got to the point where my DD was asking daily for a brother or sister, so in the end I thought I'll have one more attempt so that at least now when she is bigger I can at least say I tried. Luckily it worked and I couldnt be happier. Good luck and I hope it works for you
Susie

[JayfromQld]

Hello Bel

I know we have spoken before on the pregnancy site but i thought i would post here as well.

I have a 6 yo daughter and am now 23 weeks pregnant with twins, i also live in Brisbane. I really wanted my children close together so started trying naturally when my daughter was 18 months, i was breastfeeding her so i couldnt get started on another baby as soon as i wanted too. My daughter was a natural conception without problems so the almost 5 years to concieve again was very draining.

I had a miscarriage from a fet when my daughter was 3yo and after a failed ivf. My husband and i found we had to explain to my daughter what was happening and why mummy needed needles and why mummy was crying and depressed. It is very hard to do ivf and wallow in self pity when you have a child that needs you to be there 100% for their needs. Your daughter is only 13 months so she wont be as aware of the medical side of things as a 3yo.

One thing i have been thankful for in having my older daughter is that i have been able to explain to her i cant lift her. You will have to lift your daughter in the 2ww so dont feel guilty. Also dont feel guilty about having to take your child to medical places where other people are struggling with ivf/infertility, you arent doing it to hurt them but because you have to.

Good luck this year
Jaymee
23 weeks twins

[BelB]

Thanks so much for your supportive responses girls. Jay, you hit it on the head when you raise the issue of bringing Annie to appointments etc. I think of the early morning trips into that blood room at QFG in Wickham Terrace at some ungodly hour that I lived through during our cycle for Annie, it will be just so much harder with a little one in tow. Al of my family live in Sydney, so baby-sitting is not an option either, the logistics of it will be challenging..but wonderful if (when?) it works!!

Good luck everyone
B

[Lana]

Hi Belinda,
Boy am I glad you started this thread! I have a wonderful, beautiful daughter from IVF. She will be 3 in May '06. I have been trying to conceive a brother or sister for her since she was about 10 months old. As you can see from my "profile" we have done a lot of cycles in this past two years! I am alos feeling guilty about wanting another child. It doesn't help that everyone from my family to the post-man says "But you have a child! Be grateful" or "at least you have one!". No-one really understands that my family does not feel complete yet and that the desire and need for another baby is JUST as strong as it was for my first child. I hope that 2006 will bring us our precious miracle babies so that we can move on with our lives and not be stuck in this fertility/waiting cycle for another few years. Honestly, I don't think that I can handle much more. Am with you in spirit.
Love Lana

[BelB]

Lana,

Thanks so much for your post, and for your honesty. Know what you mean about the "well you already have one" comments..blah!!..The other one is "well if it doesn't work out for you aren't you lucky to have one", well yeah, but I'll still be devastated. I never ever grew up thinking I would have one child, for us we really would love to have two (or more), and other women without fertility issues never get questioned on their motives to have more than one child....so why us?? Guess it's another comment to add to the "thoughtless things people say to the infertile" list (my personal favourite.."oh well, it's just not mother nature's way and maybe you should just go with that"..blah blah and double blah....Ahhh, it's good to vent.

I read your signature, sounds like you've been through a stack..where are you up to currently??

B

[Jeni Babes]

Bel

just read on your other post that you have conceived naturally...
congratulations to you and DH...Annie boo will have her sibling now!!!

love jen
xxxx

[rachel1]

bel, i haven't read your other post but that's fantastic news!!
there must be something in the air.....
you must be so so happy. congratulations
rachel

[Wendy]

I went through all the same feelings and emotions about guilt, especially when I needed the support from this site when I already had my precious first baby. It really was a lot easier the second time as you have the thing you've been wishing so hard for already. Luckily it worked second time again and we now have a beautiful 4mth old baby boy, Thomas. Benjamin (3 in march) is thrilled and loves his little brother so much. We were lucky having my parents around to help with appointments etc I'm not sure how we would of coped without them. I wish you loads of love and luck in getting your wish for a sibling. I'm already considering number 3, but I think DH may take some persuading on that one !
love Wendy, Chris, Benjamin and Thomas xxx

[BelB]

Hey guys,
Thanks so much for your lovely messages.

Wendy, congratulations on the birth of your second son, what a wonderful family you have!, and also great that Benjamin loves his little brother too. I must admit, Annie's reaction to another child worries me a tad. She is quite the mum's girl and has had a couple of hissy fits if she's seen me cuddling someone else's baby??, maybe it will be different if it's her sister or brother..we'll have to wait and see..

Rachel and Jen, thanks so much, has been kind of emotional really, everyone has been so lovely..
Belinda

[Lana]

Hi Belinda,
CONGRATS on WONDERFUL news! I am now....waiting! There's a surprise! Went to the clinic this morning to start FET cycle (medicated) only to be told that I was supposed to start Lupron during "the Pill" phase! So now I am back on the pill and will hopefully start FE cycle in 3 weeks. We are also at the point of obtaining a surrogate. My sister is willing to do it for us and we are looking at one more IVF after FET (assuming that doesn't work) and then a dual surrogacy. They'll put 2 embies into my sister and 2 into me (assuming we get 4!) and hopefully 1 will take! So my road isn't quite over yet!
Love Lana