let me ask all of you a question...
can you actually go to a party and see lots of happy kids running around
and lots of new moms and moms to be and hear them talking about babys and kids and whats like to be pregnant with out killing you inside????and unable to having fun??.......well this was our first party yesterday after the miscarriage...and we've tryed to take our mind off of it
but was impossible..... did ever happend to you???
going to partys...having fun??
going to partys...having fun??
me 35 dw 30
6 iui
2 ivf and 1 fet all negative
4th ivf... no heart beat d&e at the 8th week
5th ivf bfp....and 3 frozen ebryos!!!
2 boys !!!!!Anthony and Alessio
............CIAOBYE..........God Bless all of us
6 iui
2 ivf and 1 fet all negative
4th ivf... no heart beat d&e at the 8th week
5th ivf bfp....and 3 frozen ebryos!!!
2 boys !!!!!Anthony and Alessio
............CIAOBYE..........God Bless all of us
I feel very happy when I see a small baby. and when i see them crying i feel a kinda pain too..
ofcourse, i have that inner pain for not having baby, but always keeping my mind ruling my head. Therefore, I can enjoy the party and kids.
ofcourse, i have that inner pain for not having baby, but always keeping my mind ruling my head. Therefore, I can enjoy the party and kids.
me: 29
DH: 31
1st IVF May/June 06 ' BFP - miscarried with D&C
2nd IVT-ICSI
Stimulation started on 20th of Jan
Scan update: 30th Jan - 24 follicles, endo 8 mm
will have hcg injection at 10.30 pm
ER on 1st Feb
DH: 31
1st IVF May/June 06 ' BFP - miscarried with D&C
2nd IVT-ICSI
Stimulation started on 20th of Jan
Scan update: 30th Jan - 24 follicles, endo 8 mm
will have hcg injection at 10.30 pm
ER on 1st Feb
Hi Tony
I can sympathise. My good friend has a party this weekend and has a 2 year old girl and another on the way. Every couple there will have kids, or have them on the way and me and DH will be the only ones without. We have wanted a family for so long now its difficult to put ourselves in that situation so we have decided to stay away this time. We feel we don't want to be putting strain on ourselves while going through this process.
We are having fun spending time together, and only see our friends with children in small doses. Its helping us enormously.
Emma x
I can sympathise. My good friend has a party this weekend and has a 2 year old girl and another on the way. Every couple there will have kids, or have them on the way and me and DH will be the only ones without. We have wanted a family for so long now its difficult to put ourselves in that situation so we have decided to stay away this time. We feel we don't want to be putting strain on ourselves while going through this process.
We are having fun spending time together, and only see our friends with children in small doses. Its helping us enormously.
Emma x
ME 38 DH 32
Severe Endo
1st IVF Sept 06 - BFN
2nd IVF Jan 07 - BFP! Ruby May born 24.10.07
3rd IVF March 10 - BFP on 30.3.10! Iris Josephine born 1.12.10
Our family is complete
Severe Endo
1st IVF Sept 06 - BFN
2nd IVF Jan 07 - BFP! Ruby May born 24.10.07
3rd IVF March 10 - BFP on 30.3.10! Iris Josephine born 1.12.10
Our family is complete
-
AuntyPebbles
- Valued Contributor
- Posts: 2382
- Joined: Sun May 28, 2006 6:12 pm
- Location: New York
- Contact:
Hi tony,
im so sorry this must be so hard for you, you have every right to feel that way you went through so much, dont feel bad about your grief its still very new for you yet it must have been overwhelming to be around what could have been.... i promise you it will get better for you and your wife there will come a time you can deal with it better ... i remember shutting myself off from everyone who was having or who had kids until my sister came to my house with her new baby she put the baby in my arms and went shopping i had no choice but to take care of her for me that worked but give your selfs time.
thinking of you
love and hug Debz
im so sorry this must be so hard for you, you have every right to feel that way you went through so much, dont feel bad about your grief its still very new for you yet it must have been overwhelming to be around what could have been.... i promise you it will get better for you and your wife there will come a time you can deal with it better ... i remember shutting myself off from everyone who was having or who had kids until my sister came to my house with her new baby she put the baby in my arms and went shopping i had no choice but to take care of her for me that worked but give your selfs time.
thinking of you
love and hug Debz
Me 42 ,DH 45 ...3 IVF's BFN
Mommy to my beautiful girls Gabby(4) and Kenzie(2)
Now on Face Book pm me for information..
Mommy to my beautiful girls Gabby(4) and Kenzie(2)
Now on Face Book pm me for information..
All the time!!! I fee;l like hell at family BBQ's and party where other kids are!!!
I want it all too badly....
I want it all too badly....
TTC 6yrs......Have jumped off the rollercoaster for now, too many BFN's and too much heartache, to keep going....Moving on to fulfil other dreams!!!
[img]http://dl7.glitter-graphics.net/pub/68/68547cwg98wmzcn.gif[/img]
[img]http://dl7.glitter-graphics.net/pub/68/68547cwg98wmzcn.gif[/img]
it is very hard.. you all are right.....
it sucks that we dont have a =our babies its not fair and life can be very crule....
when i go to to stuff where there are babies and prengnant women i give myself permision to cry or pray or what ever i need to do. then i push myself do what i should do....
you cant runaway from your feelings. and its ok to be sad mad and it is ok to be happy..
it sucks that we dont have a =our babies its not fair and life can be very crule....
when i go to to stuff where there are babies and prengnant women i give myself permision to cry or pray or what ever i need to do. then i push myself do what i should do....
you cant runaway from your feelings. and its ok to be sad mad and it is ok to be happy..
we werent blessed with our babies to raise here but we our blessed with our grandaughter
and all of our many adopted and foster children that touch our lives
and i am glad to add that our 6th grandchild will be born this spring!!!!
and all of our many adopted and foster children that touch our lives
and i am glad to add that our 6th grandchild will be born this spring!!!!
Hi Tony
I'm so sorry to hear of your loss. I think you were very brave going to the party so soon. I would like to think that going to parties gets bearable as time goes. All our friends have got kids or have them on the way we are the odd ones out. I can't join in on the pregnancy or labour stories and although on the whole our friends are understanding i will always feel like an outsider looking in. Sometimes I can go and feel ok and have a laugh but other times I am in tears as soon as we have left the party.
All the best
Clairx
I'm so sorry to hear of your loss. I think you were very brave going to the party so soon. I would like to think that going to parties gets bearable as time goes. All our friends have got kids or have them on the way we are the odd ones out. I can't join in on the pregnancy or labour stories and although on the whole our friends are understanding i will always feel like an outsider looking in. Sometimes I can go and feel ok and have a laugh but other times I am in tears as soon as we have left the party.
All the best
Clairx
Me -31
DH - 35
1st Attempt IVF Aug/Sept 05= BFN
Next cycle with ICSI, hopefully April 2006 = BFN
Hydrosalphinx being removed in November. ICSI next year. Last chance saloon!
DH - 35
1st Attempt IVF Aug/Sept 05= BFN
Next cycle with ICSI, hopefully April 2006 = BFN
Hydrosalphinx being removed in November. ICSI next year. Last chance saloon!
Tony, I'm so sorry to hear about your loss.
About 18 months ago on our first attempt at IVF we lost at 7 wks and I then had a DnC. We were then told to take precautions for the next 6 months to avoid the same thing happening again (time to recover they said). I had what might be termed a blighted ovum - initial HCG was only 13.5 although it rose to about 2k). I remember being so angry at the time, how could they suggest that we'd have to wait yet another 6 months before we tried again. We didn't see most of our friends with or without babies/children for many months we both felt so sad and unable to enjoy life. In the 6 or so years we've ttc there have been 10 babies born into my DH's family, and we are the only ones without kids. I've also had to sit next to a work colleague for the 7 months of her pregnancy. I found this the hardest, as I probably saw more of her than I would have of any friend or family member. In a way it did help eventually, I really admired her and used to tell myself that one day it will be me.
I think that you have done so well to go to your party so soon. It really does get easier with time, and me and DH have now recoved from our first attempt and have become even closer on our 2nd attempt at IVF.
If you really want something in life I think you really have to believe that it will happen to you, and in time it will.
Take care
Linda XX
About 18 months ago on our first attempt at IVF we lost at 7 wks and I then had a DnC. We were then told to take precautions for the next 6 months to avoid the same thing happening again (time to recover they said). I had what might be termed a blighted ovum - initial HCG was only 13.5 although it rose to about 2k). I remember being so angry at the time, how could they suggest that we'd have to wait yet another 6 months before we tried again. We didn't see most of our friends with or without babies/children for many months we both felt so sad and unable to enjoy life. In the 6 or so years we've ttc there have been 10 babies born into my DH's family, and we are the only ones without kids. I've also had to sit next to a work colleague for the 7 months of her pregnancy. I found this the hardest, as I probably saw more of her than I would have of any friend or family member. In a way it did help eventually, I really admired her and used to tell myself that one day it will be me.
I think that you have done so well to go to your party so soon. It really does get easier with time, and me and DH have now recoved from our first attempt and have become even closer on our 2nd attempt at IVF.
If you really want something in life I think you really have to believe that it will happen to you, and in time it will.
Take care
Linda XX
Me (37) DH (36)
TTC 6 Years - Severe Endo (2 laser treatments)
IVF Nov 04 - BFP Early m/c (Blighted Ovum?)
IVF Jul 06 - BFN
TTC 6 Years - Severe Endo (2 laser treatments)
IVF Nov 04 - BFP Early m/c (Blighted Ovum?)
IVF Jul 06 - BFN
hi all.....we tryed to get passed this and try to have fun at the party,but how can you deal with it when you see all them happy moms and kids,we wondering are we ever become parents??some of you agree with me and some of you dont...but that's us..... 
me 35 dw 30
6 iui
2 ivf and 1 fet all negative
4th ivf... no heart beat d&e at the 8th week
5th ivf bfp....and 3 frozen ebryos!!!
2 boys !!!!!Anthony and Alessio
............CIAOBYE..........God Bless all of us
6 iui
2 ivf and 1 fet all negative
4th ivf... no heart beat d&e at the 8th week
5th ivf bfp....and 3 frozen ebryos!!!
2 boys !!!!!Anthony and Alessio
............CIAOBYE..........God Bless all of us
tony, I think you did amazingly well to even go to the party so soon after your loss. you are both very brave. I don't think I could have done it.
the thing I used to find hard is that so many people did not appreciate having children or getting pregnant, that is hard to be around.
we all deal with things differently, there is no right or wrong way. I am sure we have all tried to put on brave faces at times but sometimes we need to just keep away from anything that causes us pain......AND not feel bad about it!
Don't expect too much from yourselves. You have been through a lot.
It WILL be your turn one day soon and you will never forget how it felt to go through this. You will appreciate being a parent even more when it happens. And you will be able to help so many people in the future who face what we face.
thats how I feel anyway. I never thought it would happen and it did. It will for you too.
love terri
the thing I used to find hard is that so many people did not appreciate having children or getting pregnant, that is hard to be around.
we all deal with things differently, there is no right or wrong way. I am sure we have all tried to put on brave faces at times but sometimes we need to just keep away from anything that causes us pain......AND not feel bad about it!
Don't expect too much from yourselves. You have been through a lot.
It WILL be your turn one day soon and you will never forget how it felt to go through this. You will appreciate being a parent even more when it happens. And you will be able to help so many people in the future who face what we face.
thats how I feel anyway. I never thought it would happen and it did. It will for you too.
love terri
PCOS
TTC 2.5 years
BFP April 2006
TTC 2.5 years
BFP April 2006
I understand!
Tony,
I definately understand what you are going through. My husband and I went through an ectopic 17 months ago and have been trying ever since to conceive and have failed. We do not have any children and want them more than anythind. In the meantime, a month after my ectopic, my husband's unmarried sister(do not mean to be judgemental) announced her pregnancy after announcing her whole life that she never wanted kids. It has been very painful. I cry every time I go to my doctor for infertility treatments and consultations when I see all of the happy pregnant woman and all I keep wondering is "Why can it happen to them and not me." I have not seen my sister in law since she announced the pregnancy and neither has my husband and it is his only sibling. It hurts him as much as it does me. I just wanted to let you know that you are not alone.
I definately understand what you are going through. My husband and I went through an ectopic 17 months ago and have been trying ever since to conceive and have failed. We do not have any children and want them more than anythind. In the meantime, a month after my ectopic, my husband's unmarried sister(do not mean to be judgemental) announced her pregnancy after announcing her whole life that she never wanted kids. It has been very painful. I cry every time I go to my doctor for infertility treatments and consultations when I see all of the happy pregnant woman and all I keep wondering is "Why can it happen to them and not me." I have not seen my sister in law since she announced the pregnancy and neither has my husband and it is his only sibling. It hurts him as much as it does me. I just wanted to let you know that you are not alone.
Hi Tony, Hope you and DW are holding in there ok?
You have both been in my thoughts and prayers....
This has nothing to do with parties, but i hoped it would help a bit....
AN ANGEL NEVER DIES
Don't let them say i wasn't born that something stopped my heart,
I felt each tender squeeze you gave, I've loved you from the start.
Although my body you can't hold, doesn't mean i'm gone.,
This world was worthy, not for me, God choose that i move on.
I know the pain that drowns your soul, what you are forced to face,
You have my word, i'll fill your arms, someday we will embrace.
You'll hear that it was "mean't to be, god doesn't make mistakes"
But that won't soften your worse blow, or make your heart not ache.
I'm watching over all you do, another child your bear,
Believe me when i say to you, that i am always there.
There'll come a time, i promise you, when you will hold my hand,
Stroke my face, and kiss my lips, and then you'll understand.
Although i've never breathed your air, or gazed into your eyes,
That doesn't mean i never "WAS"
AN ANGEL NEVER DIES............
((((((((((((hugs))))))))))))))))))
Rachel OXO
You have both been in my thoughts and prayers....
This has nothing to do with parties, but i hoped it would help a bit....
AN ANGEL NEVER DIES
Don't let them say i wasn't born that something stopped my heart,
I felt each tender squeeze you gave, I've loved you from the start.
Although my body you can't hold, doesn't mean i'm gone.,
This world was worthy, not for me, God choose that i move on.
I know the pain that drowns your soul, what you are forced to face,
You have my word, i'll fill your arms, someday we will embrace.
You'll hear that it was "mean't to be, god doesn't make mistakes"
But that won't soften your worse blow, or make your heart not ache.
I'm watching over all you do, another child your bear,
Believe me when i say to you, that i am always there.
There'll come a time, i promise you, when you will hold my hand,
Stroke my face, and kiss my lips, and then you'll understand.
Although i've never breathed your air, or gazed into your eyes,
That doesn't mean i never "WAS"
AN ANGEL NEVER DIES............
((((((((((((hugs))))))))))))))))))
Rachel OXO
[img]http://tickers.TickerFactory.com/ezt/d/4;10720;92/st/20080118/e/We+Go+Home/dt/1/k/3105/event.png[/img]
Me-35 DH- 37
2 Ectopics, 3 Miscarriages, 1 New born Death 94
IVF - Nov 05 BFN, FET - May 06 BFN
FET - July 06 BFN, FET - Nov 06 BFN
Me-35 DH- 37
2 Ectopics, 3 Miscarriages, 1 New born Death 94
IVF - Nov 05 BFN, FET - May 06 BFN
FET - July 06 BFN, FET - Nov 06 BFN
i dont think there is a right or a wrong way.
what we have to deal with is so very very hard.
at times having our grandaughter is very hard.
i dont know if it would have been easeir to deal with feelings if her mom wouldnt have left her or not.
dh and i would love to have a little baby to hold in our arms . i dont know if that will ever completly go away or not..
but threw alot of heart ache and friends ,and prayer i have found my smile.
what we have to deal with is so very very hard.
at times having our grandaughter is very hard.
i dont know if it would have been easeir to deal with feelings if her mom wouldnt have left her or not.
dh and i would love to have a little baby to hold in our arms . i dont know if that will ever completly go away or not..
but threw alot of heart ache and friends ,and prayer i have found my smile.
we werent blessed with our babies to raise here but we our blessed with our grandaughter
and all of our many adopted and foster children that touch our lives
and i am glad to add that our 6th grandchild will be born this spring!!!!
and all of our many adopted and foster children that touch our lives
and i am glad to add that our 6th grandchild will be born this spring!!!!
-
JustinesBaby
- Regular
- Posts: 470
- Joined: Sun Nov 06, 2005 6:30 pm
i must say ...you all think like us and act like us....
1 of the reason that we whent to this party was to see how mutch we
healed and the ("Christening") that we whent to was my best friend daugheter... i just could 'n say no,and he dosent know about our problem,you know i just wish and i mean this that we can all get together and have one big party...all of us from this forum ...i think we will deffenetly have soooo mutch fun and keep home for one day
our problems and pain......
well at list in our dreams.....................
1 of the reason that we whent to this party was to see how mutch we
healed and the ("Christening") that we whent to was my best friend daugheter... i just could 'n say no,and he dosent know about our problem,you know i just wish and i mean this that we can all get together and have one big party...all of us from this forum ...i think we will deffenetly have soooo mutch fun and keep home for one day
our problems and pain......
well at list in our dreams.....................
me 35 dw 30
6 iui
2 ivf and 1 fet all negative
4th ivf... no heart beat d&e at the 8th week
5th ivf bfp....and 3 frozen ebryos!!!
2 boys !!!!!Anthony and Alessio
............CIAOBYE..........God Bless all of us
6 iui
2 ivf and 1 fet all negative
4th ivf... no heart beat d&e at the 8th week
5th ivf bfp....and 3 frozen ebryos!!!
2 boys !!!!!Anthony and Alessio
............CIAOBYE..........God Bless all of us