Is it only me?

Fingers crossed · Post by **Fingers crossed** » Mon Oct 09, 2006 8:32 pm

Sorry need to have a cry..just feel that it is only me that has no luck..friend after friend is telling me 'they are pregnant' and even all my 'ivf' 'trying for ages' friends have all fallen..bumps all around is making me feel so down.

On my 7th cycle of treatment and still no BFP!! 4 ISCI, 3 DIUI..this is so unfair.

I know that I am not the only one..but I do feel that when ever I read the boards people fall on their first and 2nd go..don't get me wrong I am pleased for everyone and wish every one a BFP..but is it only me? Do us 'oldies been there done that got the bruises' stop posting our side of the story as it is too painful to be reminded time and time again of failure.

Need a multiple cyle buddie..

Fingers Crossed

terri1 · Post by **terri1** » Mon Oct 09, 2006 10:21 pm

hello

I really hope you don't mind me replying as you will see on my profile I am pregnant now.
However, I just wanted to say to you that I really sympathise because I felt exactly the same. Every single person I know who wants a baby, or who didn't for that matter got pregnant while I was trying. I felt so depressed. I didnt' believe it would ever happen to me in the end but it did.

I do just want to ask you if you have been given advice about your dh's sperm count? there are so many vitamins etc. he can be taking that could help get the count up. I know of many people who had success just with zinc.
And have you considered acupuncture also? there are many success stories from this and I believe it helped me too.
Don't underestimate the effects of stress as well. I started ttc when I started my last job. 2 1/2 years later I quit and I was pregnant within 6 weeks. If you have any stresses in your life, try and minimise them.
I'm sure you have heard all this before but I just want to say I sympathise with you and one day your dream will come true. I know thats hard to believe now.

love terri

asante · Post by **asante** » Tue Oct 10, 2006 12:10 am

need to stay positive.. I have two failed IVF.. I know when its my time everything will workout... Keep your head up

Macca8 · Post by **Macca8** » Tue Oct 10, 2006 8:07 am

Fingers Crossed,

I'm not far behind you on the attempts. I have had 4 full ICSI attempts and about to do a FET in November with only 2 embryos. I don't have much faith in them defrosting though so I am sure I will be doing another full ICSI in January.

I have been in the same situation. Nearly all my friends falling pregnanct easily (even the older ones) and all my sisters did too. But I refuse to fall to the failure stakes and I honestly believe it is making me stronger. I am a much better, more compassionate and stronger girl since I have done these 4 go's. I don't dimiss others concerns about things like I might have done. I listen more intensely. I had a colleague that did IVF some 8 years ago and I never once considered how hard it was for her. She became pregnant on her second go thank god. Don't get me wrong I did support her but I never thought deeply enough about what she was going through.

What I am trying to say is "DONT GIVE UP". I'm with you girl, it will be okay.

Lisa X

SJ BROWN · Post by **SJ BROWN** » Tue Oct 10, 2006 9:11 am

Hi,
you are not alone......I am one of those "oldies" who does not post much any more.
We have had 3xIcsi (no et for 1st due to ohss) and 2 FETS. we are just starting a final FET but only 4 in freezer so not too hopeful....
We have been advised by our DR not to do another fresh cycle but to go to to Doner insemination........even this is not straight forwards anymore as our clinic have a shortage of doner sperm and are currently going down the lines of doner sperm from America/canada. in one sense I am happy about this as less likely to have any comebcak in years to come ie;siblings having relationships and always wondering if its with another sibling etc.. but on the other side due to getting sperm from overseas there is more cost involved...Dont get me wrong, you cant put a price on fulfilling your dream but we are just normal working class people and we have only had 1 cycle funded....as much as we want to be parents we do not have a bottomless pit...........

anyway.......good luck and hope we both get lucky on this FET cycle.
I will continue "lurking" the boards but just dont have the enthusiasm or enegry to be a cycle buddy again....like you say, the continuous failures do take their toll...

Baby dust to all xx

CarolynB · Post by **CarolynB** » Tue Oct 10, 2006 10:32 am

Fingers Crossed

I really do feel for you. So many people seem to be lucky at their 1st attempt....................

Hope that you do not mind me posting as I have 'only' had 1 failure so far and two surgeries. But did want to share two or three things with you that you may have tried already.

Have you done acupuncture by someone who is specialised in supporting ivf. You may have tried already. The guy that is working with me says that he has not done had to do more than 3 acu supported ivfs with anyone before it has worked. I know. Could be all huff and puff but I was committed to going to him before he told me all of this. Worth a try if you have not done already? He also told me that 1 lady he treated got pregnant on ivf attempt 15. She was so determined to keep going...........how strong must she have been????

It is so very very hard. I know 2 friends personally who I worked with are both 42. One has 5 failed attempts with no success so far but she is going to try again. The other just got BFP on her 5th attempt. She moved clinics - presume that you have tried that as well? Might be worth moving somewhere where they do things a little differently?

I want to wish you loads and loads of luck. Nobody should have to go through this.

Wishing you everything that you wish for yourself.
Love Carolyn xxx

Melanie71 · Post by **Melanie71** » Tue Oct 10, 2006 7:10 pm

Hi Fingers Crossed

No - it is not just you - your not on your own possum. And your not that old!!

I haven't posted that much - since I first started IVF I have read heaps of the postings though. I must admit - the message board has helped me heaps. So I just want to let you know - your definitley not alone with the ups and downs.

My husband also has a low sperm count, due to twisted testicle when he was younger. When I first started IVF all my friends and family said - oh you are healthy, you will fall pregnant first time, even the doctor hinted at a good success rate for me. But I am still waiting - and my age is marching very close to the dreaded 35 - where chances are suppose to half.

Don't be be sad, some days are good days and some days are not such good days - but we somehow make it through.

An embryo needs a good egg and a good sperm - A normal man will produce millions of little swimmers - but with a low sperm count the swimmers mobility are sometimes compromised. My DH - has only a few swimmers 7% - but over half were slow, going backwards sideways or had no tails. DH and I joke about it - but these are all contributing factors I guess. I just hope the lab was able to find the best of the best swimmers. DH - he doesn't talk about it much - pretty hard on a Man - having a low sperm count.

Before we started IVF, DH and I saw a Naturalpath and DH was on Zinc, Co-Q10 and Omega 3 - but we tested his sperm before and after - and it didn't make much difference in his count - so that was disappointing. DH does smoke - and all attempts to give up nearly resulted in the Divorce Courts

For me - this 3-4 attempt - What have I done differently - I have since chucked in my job. I never told work about the IVF and it was very stressful lying about about sick days for TSf etc. I hope I am more relaxed this time and ready to receive life.

I must agree with Lisa (Posted Above). The whole experience to date has made me a better person and it will make me a wonderful mum - the best. When I am finally blessed with my baby - I will love that child with the most powerful unconditional love possible. I will never forget how blessed I am to bring that life into the world.

Hang in there - fingers crossed for your next try, don't loose sight of the end goal.
XOOOX

Fingers crossed · Post by **Fingers crossed** » Wed Oct 11, 2006 4:05 pm

Thanks so much to you all for your messages and also for the private messages that I received. The advice has been very helpful and has given me a bit of a boost to keep on going. Now I am waiting to get my LH surge so that I can have my IUI in the next couple of days..body is taking it's time day 14 already and nothing as yet!!

Keep in touch and good luck

Fingers crossed

Fingers crossed · Post by **Fingers crossed** » Wed Oct 11, 2006 4:05 pm

Thanks so much to you all for your messages and also for the private messages that I received. The advice has been very helpful and has given me a bit of a boost to keep on going. Now I am waiting to get my LH surge so that I can have my IUI in the next couple of days..body is taking it's time day 14 already and nothing as yet!!

Keep in touch and good luck

Fingers crossed

Is it only me?

Is it only me?

Advertisements