MY HUSBANDS LOW SPERM COUNT/NEED ADVICE

[194208]

Hi, this is my first time on this site, I was looking for some advidce. I'm pretty confused about alot of the codes used, others I understand. I am 31 and my husband is 32. I have a 10 yr old from a previous marriage and my husband has a 7 yr old from a previous marriage. We've been ttc for 2 years and thought it would be no problem. I thought there was something wrong with me so I did all the tests (hsg etc) and the doctor said everything looked great and put in an order for a sperm count on my husband. Well, we recently found out my husband's sperm count was 100,000 and none were moving at the time of the test That weekend my husband had drank at least 50 beers and went to do the count on that monday morning (less than 24 hours after drinking). The doctor said we have to do another count with no beer and no caffeine and recommended we order proxeed (anyone take it??). We have to re-do the test (sperm sample) in November then again in January because they said it takes at least 3 months for sperm to rejuvenate. Well, I'm pretty sad and he feels as if he's let me down. He has not drank for almost a month and has cut all caffeine. He's doing it but having a hard time, but he says he'll do anything he has to (on average he was drinking at least a 24 pack of beer almost every weekend for years).
My question is has anyone ever heard of 100,000 sperm reaching a normal level (20 million, he's way off) just by cutting alcohol and caffeine?? I know we just started the process, but I dont want to waist time until my age becomes a risk factor. I also got a price quote from a infertility clinic of 14,000-15,500 for ONE cycle of IVF/ICSI. Is that the going rate??Does anyone have any suggestions on any of this? Or are there anyone that can tell me a price that have had successful pregnancies from IVF/ICSI??Any suggestions on infertility specialists in the Orange County California area?? Anyone else with low sperm count of 100,000 with no movement, or male factor secondary infertility??
Thanks so much! I don't know how to change my name on my sign in, so it's Tdcarrera. Thanks!

[Smita]

Hi there!
Welcome on here..
You will find lots of support on this forum.
I just want to let you know what a great job your husband is doing and yes, there have been many cases of sperm motility improving after making efforts of 3 months, so you're on the right track and you are definitely not alone.
I'm sorry I cant help you with answers on sperm count, but theres a thread right on top of this forum called Abbreviations and definitions- where you will find a lot of short forms that we use and their full expansion.
Your user name cant be changed as far as I know, though you can try sending an email to samuelmarcus@ivf-infertility.com and asking.

Welcome again.

Hugs,
smita

[194208]

Hi Smita!
Thanks so much for replying, and congrats on your baby girl in 2006 ! I think I will find the advice and support I need from this forum, everyone sounds great!! I hope my husbands sperm count will improve, I just didn't want to waist too many months.... I guess you just get so anxious and wonder why this is happening to you..... Thanks again!

tdcarrera

[L & C]

Hello

I can't help you about the sperm thing, but congrats to your husband for cutting back on the beer.

I can tell you about the price we paid in Indiana though. Here goes...

$3600 includes office visits, ultrasounds, blood work, lab fees, pregnancy tests and OB ultrasounds.

$2300 for egg retrieval and embryo transfer.

$1100 for ICSI on 10 or fewer eggs... $1250 for 11 or more.

$416 for anesthesia during egg retrieval

$1200 to the hospital during egg retrieval

Then you have all the meds...... I spent around $3500.

Good luck to you both

Leslie

[194208]

Hi Leslie,
Thanks for answering the price questions! The price quote I got sounded so high, but it is a reputable clinic, so I guess I wouldn't want to spend a little less and get less quality doctors, ya know? I am just surprised that everything costs so much and medical coverage doesn't cover more for such an important thing. Regardless of where we live, I guess it all really adds up! This problem can drive you crazy and I think the only ones that REALLY understand are those who are going or have gone through it. Thanks again, and good luck to you .

TDcarrera

[L & C]

Yes, the whole experience drove me crazy, that's for sure. Definitely get the best docs.... peace of mind is priceless.

I can also tell you that different pharmacies have way different prices on the same meds. Our clinic pretty much has it's own pharmacy, so the prices were very competitive. And medical insurance doesn't pay for one single thing in our state.

I hope everything works out for you both.

Leslie

[194208]

Thanks so much . I'm still getting down these codes, what is bfn? I can't find the abbreviation definitions yet! Anyhow, good luck to you and your dh, I wish you the best, I guess we just all need to hang in there and have patience

Tdcarrera

[L & C]

It is Big Fat Negative. I don't know alot of them either, but there's a thread that is full of them.

[194208]

Thanks for the bfn definition leslie . Sorry to hear your first ivf was negative! Hang in there and stay positive:). Are you going to do another, what's next? Good luck to you and your husband:)

[L & C]

Thank you, TDcarrera

I'm not sure what's next right now. I had my post-op and my doc said he didn't know what went wrong, but it was probably my age. I will be 41 in December. Other than that, everything went great throughout the whole cycle. I produced 16 follicles and eggs. Nine fertilized. They put 3 in me and were gonna freeze the other 6. Not one of the 9 made it though. I felt devastated and mad, I'm sorry to say.

Anyway, the doc asked what I thought about using donor eggs.... I'm just not sure about that. I want to do it for my husband, but just don't know...... I still have to think about it. Maybe I'll try again using my own eggs. I've always been young for my age, so surely my eggs are the same way

Try to keep me posted about what you will do if you have time. It'd be nice to hear about a success story from you.

Leslie

[194208]

Hi leslie!
I agree about the young for 41 and your eggs!! I would be hesitant about a donor's eggs, although I understand you would want to do it for your dh. Don't give up on your eggs, most of these other success strories have taken numerous times, hang in there, I know it gets sad and depressing, stay positive.... just a little bit of light, my mom had three of us and got remarried and started ttc at 38 yrs. She along with her husband was fine they just thought it was age and she gave birth to my now 16 yr old brother at age 43
I will keep you posted about my status, I just have a pretty bad feeling that it's going to be a longer process than I expected. Its nice to be able to talk, because I think my dh gets pretty sad when I talk too much about it. He feels he's incompetent and I would never think that about him. It's just so sad to see people throwing away babies and abusing children when so many loving couples just want to have them and take care of them.
Our second semen analysis is november 7th (beer and caffeine free) so I'll keep you posted. Thanks for your support!!
tdcarrera

[L & C]

Hi TDcarrera

Oh thank you VERY MUCH for your words. You don't know how much it means to me to hear stories like that. It gives me a sick feeling to use someone else's eggs. It just doesn't feel "right" and I might be some kind of freak for this, but it would feel like my husband cheated on me.

If it's any consolation to your husband, I understand a little bit about how he feels. I feel like I've failed my husband and sometimes I feel like I should let him go and find someone who doesn't have my problem. I did tell him before he married me about it though, and we do have THE BEST marriage. But it's just hard and I feel for your husband and you.

I will pray for you two on Nov 7th. Oh and I know what you mean about ppl treating their babies so awful. We just can't believe some of the crap we see on the news and don't understand WHY. We would be so good to them if they were ours.

This is a long process, you are right about that. Patience is a virtue. Yeah, it's easy to tell someone, but entirely different practicing it. I hope for the best for you and look forward to hearing your results. If you need to talk about ANYTHING, I am here for you.

Leslie

[194208]

Hi Leslie!
You're a sweetheart, thank you for your message. I absolutely know how you feel thinking about using someone elses egg, you are NOT a freak, just the thought of that kills me (your first paragraph reminded me of myself and how I would feel) !! Recently my husband and I briefly discussed that because I needed him to know I would never consider using a sperm donor....just the look of hurt on his face during the discussion killed me! And he in turn assured me if I had a problem he would not consider using an egg donor because he knew that would hurt me (I know both of us would feel cheated on in either situation). After our aggreeance on the whole topic we ended by saying we would adopt if we absolutely couldn't conceive through IVF etc...
The day I found out my husband's results I cried without him knowing. He is such a wonderful man and father; he is honest, loyal and the most unselfish man i've ever known. I had to think of a way to tell him because I knew how awful and incompetent he would feel. I was honestly crying because of the hurt I knew he would go through more than the fact that it was possibly going to take alot of time and money to have a baby. Within days of me telling him he cried and put himself down. I told him I would NEVER pick anyone else in the world to be married to and if we could never have a baby I would still be blessed with all that we have to be thankful for already. Leslie, I know your husband must feel that same way about you. Your hurt probably hurts him more than the fact that you haven't conceived YET hurts. You sound like such a wonderful woman and you're BARELY turning 41, you have time. I hate to mention hollywood, but look at brook sheilds, first baby through IVF (several cycles). I just bought the t.v. guide the other day with Marcia Cross (red head from desperate houswives)pregnant. I recalled her saying she had tried for years on an interview and went through several infertility treatments and she thought she would never be a mom. She is 43 years old and 4 months pregnant , so DONT give up!
Wonderful things don't always come easy to everyone. I think we all need to stay positive through the good, bad and sometimes very sad days. If you need anything please let me know!! Hang in there!

Sorry this is so long your email just touched me and made me think you and my husband think alike and I just wanted to remind you, never feel as though you have let anyone down (especially your husband who loves you) due to something that is way beyond your control.
You have hardly failed ANYONE, don't ever feel that way, and never let the love between you or your marriage go. Sometimes it's hard to understand why we go throught the things we do, but in the end alot of times there is an explanation.
Talk to you soon
tdcarrera

[L & C]

Thank you so much, TDcarrera. You have brought tears to my eyes. It's so nice to have someone out there who understands and cares and feels the same way I do about the whole donor thing. I feel that it should be "all or nothing"..... both of us through IVF or neither of us through adoption.

It sounds like you two are wonderful people, and I'm so happy that you have a good marriage I just can't stand it for someone to be hurting, like your husband is now. He's lucky to have you. If it would help him, tell him he's not the only one going through that.

About Marcia Cross, I first heard about her before I had my preg test and I was so excited cuz I thought her and I would have our first babies at about the same time. I've been watching that show since it first came on... haven't missed an episode. Is her pregnancy from IVF?

And Brooke Shields, oh yes I've been aware of her too. We actually brought her up to the doc on my last appt and he told us that she used donor eggs. I don't know if that's true or not, but that's what he said. I can't find anything about it though. Do you know?

We ended our appt with me saying I'd think about the donor thing and the doc looking into it for us (I guess finding someone?). We're supposed to talk to him by December. I feel like a weight has been lifted off of me with the decision of NOT going that route though. I don't know how some ppl can take it so lightly, like it's no big deal. I just think it would be so cool to have "a little me" running around, and "a little Chad" (my hubby).

Thank you for all of your words and support. It means ALOT to me.
Leslie

[samandaw1]

Hang in there the two of you.

My husband had the same low sperm count and had to cut out caffine and that nearly killed him. I know he felt like he disappointed me as I am the one who had to go through the emotions, injections, appointments, hormones, weight gain, etc. I just put on a brave face and always said it was worth it but noone is to blame in these things. It could have easily been me.

Our ICSI/IVF was around $16,000 but our insurance covered a lot of it. Thank god. I am now pregnant going on my fourth month. My husband is still trying to get his count up and mobility better so that we do not have to go through it again. There are surgeries for men if there is a blockage for a lot cheaper but not sure if that is for everyone. I say keep him off the beer and caffine just to say that you did everything so you dont have any regrets. I know it is hard but think of all the sacrifices you will have to do when you get pregnant. It might help feel like he is being proactive which is what most men want.

Good luck