Sorry if my post sounded Cavalier - I didn't mean to offend

[Claire's mum]

Hi Ladies - I just wanted to say that my post below sounds a little cavalier about the round of IVF - i certainly didn't mean to offend anyone.

I know how hard you all are trying for a child and how heartbreaking it is every month to realize that you are not pregnant.

I really just meant that I'm trying to be mellow about the pregnancy part as everyone tells me the more uptight you get the less likely it is to happen. Although if I had a dollar for everytime someone said "just relax - you guys are trying to hard - forget about it and it will happen nautrally" then I would have enough money to pay for a cycle of IVF.

I am very nervous about this cycle and will be very upset if it doesn't work. When we were trying before (before our daughter was born) every single person I knew had a child in the meantime and some people even had two which I found crushing. We tried for her for 5 years - and I thought I was going to lose my mind every month when my period came - when we finally did stop trying I got pregnant. This time around we have been trying again for 5 years with no success.

So I know both sides of the coin - the devastation of not being able to get pregnant and the complete joy of getting pregnant - and I profounly wish that for every one of you. My apologies again - Jane

[meg12]

Jane--I wouldn't worry about your comments. I think I can speak for most when i say we are all touchy about the pregnancy thing, but that we realize you weren't trying to rub our noses in it or anything. Message boards are great, but they are also limited in that comments can be misconstrued. It's definitely not like talking face to face! No worries and I wish you the best in your attempts.

[souris]

Hey Jane,

your message was not offensive to me anyway. And you are right, obviously when we go through IVF, we are obsessed about it and I am sure it does not help, but it is not possible not to think about it while getting injection every day etc...

SO to answer question about side effects: (personal point of view of course)

I had mood swings and although I knew I would have to make some efforts, it was really really hard not to get angry or being unfair towards dh (dear Dh, I apologise ). I did cry a lot as well, for not apparent reasons... So it is a good thing to try to explain to your Dh that you might do or say things you dont mean!

I did put on weight, approx 2 kilos per cycle. I was not more hungry but the meds just made me get bigger

I started IVF 2 years ago, and I have also notice a few more hair... hum hum, on my chin for exemple . I hope things will calm down now that i am not on the meds anymore...

And last, my skin has been horrible. I had more acne than when I was a teenager...

Otherwise, I did not find the shots as bad, you do get used to it.
I had one very painful egg retrieval and 2 uncomfortable but not painful ones. I think something went wrong with the first one. I could not walk for a whole week. Most of the ladies are uncomfortable, or have some cramps for a couple of days, so do not worry about it...

I hope it helps a bit

I wish you luck
xxx
souris

[Charity]

You goofy butt... You have nothing to apologize for. It wasn't until you said something in this post, that I looked back to try to see what might have been offensive. Seriously, there's nothing to worry about. Besides, as we all know, failure is part of this game, and it's good that you're looking at it realistically knowing that it might be the outcome. I'd say you're handling this very well. Yet, understand that you still obviously want a child just as much as any of us, or you wouldn't be putting yourself through this. No worries.

I just finished up my first round with meds and collection, so it's still pretty fresh in my mind...The shots were really strange at first, but then you become an old pro at it, and are just ready for them to be over. I'm not sure what protocol you're on, but for some reason, I found that if I shot Lupron in my thighs, and the Follistim in my belly, it hurt less. I've heard others recommend putting an ice cube on the site for a minute before taking the shot, but never hurt that bad for me. The most pain I felt there, was a bit of burning and stinging, but nothing beyond that.

My ovaries did start to hurt a little, but I didn't mind, because it let me know that the stims were working. Not everyone experiences it either, so don't think if you don't feel pain that anything is wrong. Your scans will keep you posted on the size of you follies and how they're doing. My breasts were hurting and did swell quite a lot. I did gain about 4 pounds, but not sure how much of that was nerves and mood. I know when I'm mentally not doing so good, my body has a tendency to metabolize food differently, and I gain weight.

The collection wasn't bad at all. The IV hurt more than any other part of the procedure. I did feel bloated afterwards, but kept drinking lots of water to avoid OHSS which helped. There was mild pain in my abdomen for a few days afterwards, but the bloating stuck with me until I got my period. I'm now on cd16 of the cycle following the IVF, and other than the weight I put on, you'd never know. I didn't break out with acne, but I did get a little moody. I think a lot of that was because I was tired and had a headache off and on throughout the stim part of the cycle. I actually think I did pretty good, and was surprised it wasn't worse than it was.

My poor dh did feel overwhelmed, so when it came time for his part, he did say that it was a little unnerving, and he wasn't sure he was going to be able to provide his contribution to the procedure. So, I personally think it's just as important to make them feel a part of the process, and to encourage them to have outlets, to be able to talk about it and to relax. Many women undergo accupuncture or go for massage therapy during their cycles, and I recommend it for the men, too. It's a stressful time for him seeing you go through what you're going through, and for most men, the money is definately a stressful subject, too.

Obviously, I only have gone through one cycle, so I am by no means an expert. Just my thoughts on the subject, and hope they are of some help to you. I wish you the best of luck, and this site/these women are awesome. I've come across other forums, but this is the first where you'll find an overwhelming feeling of welcome and understanding. Very positive and I consider myself very fortunate to have come across it when I did. Take care. Later Gator...