IVF heartaches, fears and frustrations

Discussion group for all topics related to infertility including preparation for pregnancy, causes, investigation and treatment of infertility.
sassynlv
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Location: at the end of my significantly frayed rope

Post by sassynlv »

oh Carolyn: yes, many of us have cycled together. I find it is nice to have familiar faces (usernames :wink: ) around each time, but it is also a little sad as that means we aren't getting preg yet!
ok, first... the whole kids grown up, AFRAID we're preg and it would be a nightmare thing :shock: . Oh, man... don't know how i would have dealt w/that... but it wouldn't have been pretty. I felt like someone had punched me in the belly when i read that. It is hard to hear someone would consider preg a nightmare, when we would all give our left foot for what they have. Wow. i suppose that people (as i may well do) become so focused on their current issue that they no longer are aware of the struggles of their friends. No, i don't think that people who get preg naturally have ANY idea what this is like. They can be supportive and loving.. but it still isn't quite the same. ooooo, and i get being annoyed when preg ladies complain about things. i have the same reaction... you've got to be kidding me... complaining to ME that you are uncomfortable when i would do whatever needed to be in your place???!!!!
This whole thing just sucks. Glad though, that you joined us here, hope the rant helped... We do get it, and i am also glad to have a place where we don't have to worry so much about bringing others down. I see you are cycling again next month. oooo, wishing you the best!!! ((((hugs))))
6 fresh IVFs plus one cancelation
Last Chance FET--- Pregnant with triplets!
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AuntyPebbles
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Post by AuntyPebbles »

Hi Lady's
i would love to join you all if thats ok?....i love this thread i think its wonderful we have a place we can go and be ourselves im usually a very optomistic kinda lady but times pushing on and so are my emotions

big hugs to you all Debz
Me 42 ,DH 45 ...3 IVF's BFN
Mommy to my beautiful girls Gabby(4) and Kenzie(2)

Now on Face Book pm me for information..
meg12
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Post by meg12 »

Sassy---I know what you mean about preg ladies complaining. My co-worker (8 months preg) was complaining about her weight in front of me the other day and I totally snapped at her. She knows what I've been going through--and usually she's not too bad but I think she just forgot I was there. Anyway, I just said, "Don't you dare complain about being pregnant in front of me. You should be enjoying this each and every moment that you have." And walked away. It actually was pretty self-controlled for me. Usually, I would have just burst into tears!

macca- I'm with sassy. Never feel guilty for your true feelings. Moan away, girl!

Carolyn--I would have smacked him in the face. (You might think it's hard to do over email, but I would find a way!) Insensitive people make me want to scream!

Aunty--Welcome to the party!
[img]http://tickers.TickerFactory.com/ezt/d/2;10602;6/st/20070914/n/Lucy/dt/-1/k/3d7e/age.png[/img]


[img]http://tickers.TickerFactory.com/ezt/d/1;20603;6/st/20100125/dt/-1/k/1276/preg.png[/img]
Angie65
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Post by Angie65 »

how lovely to see Aunty and Carolyn on this thread too - hellooo to you both. :)

I have a long standing counselling appmt today - have to book them so far in advance so always book when I 'm feeling desperate, and when they come round I'm usually ok. Still, I will go along and release it all - the counsellor is a lovely lady.

I do bottle things up I think - put on a brave face and all that and the only person who sees the mad crazy me is poor old DH. I'm sure that 's familiar to everyone.

Still feeling fine at the moment - bring on the Synarel on 31st.
Me 39 PCO - TTC since Aug 05
2 IVF/ICSI, 2 FET. All BFN
BFP Oct 07

[img]http://tickers.TickerFactory.com/ezt/d/2;10723;116/st/20080705/n/Amelie/dt/16/k/a1b4/age.png[/img]
sassynlv
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Post by sassynlv »

Angie: i keep forgetting to thank you for the reminding me re: IWDGPT! (oh, for the others, the "If We Don't Get Pregnant Trip"). It did lift my spirits... we have already planned a big one for next Dec, but are considering a more modest one for this summer.... glad you have a counselor to release things to. I have found that to have been very helpful to me in the past (maybe that has been my problem, ladies... i haven't gone for a while :? !!!)

Aunty: it is a pleasure to have you join us. Big rants, little rants, aunty-rants :wink:, moans and whines all welcome here! Just knowing i have this thread available allows me to be more "sunshiney" on the cycling thread.

Meg: must have been hard to hear your co-worker complain. Hopefully she will be more sensitive in the future!!! oooooo, was that why you were "grouchy" the other day???

I have been wondering if i will complain when uncomfortable if (ok, will humor the "pma" voice in my head...) WHEN i get preg (yep... i think it is official, voices are back... better get in to therapist :lol: ). I mean, i know that from their perspective there is nothing wrong w/their complaints (and they have every right to do it)... it is just for me, it hits (no slams, twists, and then pulls the cohones off of :? ) a raw nerve. Esp when they KNOW i have been ttc for years!!! Guess i need to strengthen my "sh@t shield" muscle, girls!!! Blech... insensitive people! (on a positive note, i think i must have set a record for the most parentheses in a single paragraph!!!!)
6 fresh IVFs plus one cancelation
Last Chance FET--- Pregnant with triplets!
[img]http://b1.lilypie.com/XhKKm8/.png[/img]
meg12
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Post by meg12 »

I love parentheses. (They rock.)
As to why I was grumpy, I really don't know. I guess I'll take one from the medical field and just call it unspecified grumpiness. No, that's probably not true. It's actually this waiting for AF thing that's killing me. I'm trying sooooooo hard not to read pregnancy into this. I know that all these drugs really mess up a person's cycle---plus, I did have a chemical pregnancy in November so I think that even adds to the horror that is my messed up uterus. Still, when you're 45 days without a visit from the lovely lady, you can't help but have those crazy "OMG, I'm pregnant" thoughts. Even though I've been having unprotected sex with my husband for 4 years with absolutely nothing to show for it (except the smile on my face, of course).
Anywho, I've decided to give AF until Saturday before doing a hpt. Then, if it's negative I'm going to call my RE and see if she can't suggest something to help me along. I'm just soooo ready to get cracking on this FET!
So, do me a favor ladies and don't say anything about a "miracle pregnancy"--don't want to be unrealistic, plus don't want to jinx it :wink: --Instead, give me a good AF dance and keep coming with the rants---Love to read them!!!!
[img]http://tickers.TickerFactory.com/ezt/d/2;10602;6/st/20070914/n/Lucy/dt/-1/k/3d7e/age.png[/img]


[img]http://tickers.TickerFactory.com/ezt/d/1;20603;6/st/20100125/dt/-1/k/1276/preg.png[/img]
sassynlv
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Post by sassynlv »

Meg: ok, got a great AF jig for you... i work w/the teenage girls at my church one night a wk... which is tonight... so i will have them join in the jig w/me.... this is us....Image I mean, come on.... not even the evil AF beotch could resist the combined hormones of 10 teenage girls! I can imagine you are going crazy waiting to start. come on, AF, come on!!!!

ok ladies, i just figured out where all the babies have gone..... my sister's best friend just announced she is preg w/her 7th :shock:. It is these "baby black holes" that are takin' all my babies :lol: heeheehee! If i don't laugh about it, i will burst out crying!
6 fresh IVFs plus one cancelation
Last Chance FET--- Pregnant with triplets!
[img]http://b1.lilypie.com/XhKKm8/.png[/img]
meg12
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Post by meg12 »

Woah, evil baby black hole! (tee, hee) 7???????? Jeepers, I want a baby but I can't imagine having 7 of them.

Thanks for the dance.
[img]http://tickers.TickerFactory.com/ezt/d/2;10602;6/st/20070914/n/Lucy/dt/-1/k/3d7e/age.png[/img]


[img]http://tickers.TickerFactory.com/ezt/d/1;20603;6/st/20100125/dt/-1/k/1276/preg.png[/img]
FionaA
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Post by FionaA »

OK Meg, well I'm no dancer but I'll do an AF Jig for ya.....If nothing by Monday I'd definatley get onto some sort of drugs to bring it on...I have to take BCP or I'd be waiting till 2010...Fee
Angie65
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Post by Angie65 »

That is a pain Meg - can't believe mine turned up this month (for a short 3 days)- a miracle - I cd also have been waiting til 2010.

I always thought wait for it naturally if you can, but then after about 40 days it's not really a natural normal cycle anymore is it? So I'd agree with Fee, take the drugs next week too and get your show on the road.

Hi Fee - are you a PCO girl like me ? I read you had lots of eggs somewhere
Me 39 PCO - TTC since Aug 05
2 IVF/ICSI, 2 FET. All BFN
BFP Oct 07

[img]http://tickers.TickerFactory.com/ezt/d/2;10723;116/st/20080705/n/Amelie/dt/16/k/a1b4/age.png[/img]
FionaA
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Post by FionaA »

Yup, PCO, isnt it great, seems like half the population has it....
That's why I need BCP and LOW doses of stims...
meg12
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Post by meg12 »

Um, can I play dumb here and ask what PCO is?
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Angie65
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Post by Angie65 »

yes lower doses for me this time too - getting 20 eggs was great but I 'd prefer to avoid the OHSS and 3 days in hospital this time - will bore you with that story some other time - I'm off to meet a friend for a Friday night wine (just the one I suppose as I should be good) :) have a great w/e
Me 39 PCO - TTC since Aug 05
2 IVF/ICSI, 2 FET. All BFN
BFP Oct 07

[img]http://tickers.TickerFactory.com/ezt/d/2;10723;116/st/20080705/n/Amelie/dt/16/k/a1b4/age.png[/img]
Angie65
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Post by Angie65 »

poly cystic ovaries Meg - our little ovies keep tryin to release the egg but can't quite manage it so it leaves a little cyst instead each time instead - I think it's the LH hormone in the brain that's at fault - I always knew I had brain cells missing ...!
Me 39 PCO - TTC since Aug 05
2 IVF/ICSI, 2 FET. All BFN
BFP Oct 07

[img]http://tickers.TickerFactory.com/ezt/d/2;10723;116/st/20080705/n/Amelie/dt/16/k/a1b4/age.png[/img]
meg12
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Post by meg12 »

Ang--Thanks for the explanation. I liked the way you called them your "little ovaries" I'm picturing the little things pushing away!
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[img]http://tickers.TickerFactory.com/ezt/d/1;20603;6/st/20100125/dt/-1/k/1276/preg.png[/img]
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