Hello there Octopals.... yes, I have been MIA for a long long time...
To be honest, I couldn't face posting because I just didn't want to think about it all for a while...I just wanted to put it all on the back burner!
However, that does NOT mean I wasn't thinking about you...
It's super news about Loops and Jen.... wow, so close again... it has GOT to be your turn now...
Jen, you sound VERY upbeat and I am thrilled for you... hang in there...it looks like you are doing a great job. No worries about the injections...you'll do great...

Have no fear

Get DH to help with the mixing... it's a group activity
Loops...glad you have finally decided to start again but can relate to your feelings though...well done for finding the courage and energy to get back in the IVF game! Yipppeee
Steph...feeling left out....although I probably deserve it. I didn't get any baby pics

I know I haven't been a model Octopal but still...in fact, I still haven't clapped eyes on you yet (photowise)...Lola neither...she's a secretive young lady! Please send me your email.
Walshy....I can relate is all I can say... I feel empty half of the time... we celebrated our 5 year anniversary and I kept thinking about it all...it's not fair, is it? I can only say that I feel for you and understand what you are going through...wish that wretched magic wand would just work....damnation!!
Things have been VERY busy since I got back from Switzerland 2 weeks ago and DH and I are going away again in a few days.
The news...I am physically well which is great news because it seems that I have been experiencing the backlash of IVF a year ago (UTI, vaginal infections...the whole nine yards)...
Emotionally however things have been difficult...I guess I have reached the end of my tether and after more than 5 years have decided to take action. It's been too long and I realise that I do need to talk to someone objective as I feel so isolated and want to find tools to get out of this rut....
I have decided to talk to a councillor and see what happens
I am not sure whether she will provide me with the ideal solution but it can't hurt to try
I just realise that I am making the people around me that I love the most unhappy and I can't deal with that.... My mother hates babies and loathes other grandmothers

and my brother stated that he is not having one until I do

which doesn't make my future SIL like me much
Anyway...it's long overdue...I'll keep you posted if you're interested.
I have only been to one session and came out feeling completely drained...the councillor hinted that perhaps I was numb... no kidding
Regarding treatment...well, I am starting again.... this month so will join Loops and Jen

It's a walk in the park compared to you girls though...as I am going to do a completely natural cycle for my 2nd FET. I honestly don't put much stock in it but at least I won't have the hormones to contend with
Must dash...please don't be mad at me for my time away..I will try and post more often...
MUCH love,
Littles