Awaiting Treatment

[lara312]

Morning ladies
just a quickie for becky have a great holiday i bet you look like a million dollers have a great time and enjoy.

Carolyn thats great you will be a mega egg producer with lots of frosties for the next set of twins .

Jen sorry to hear your feeling so awful some people dont know how hard it is for us ladies who just cant get up the duff by looking at a willie it would be great if we all lived close so we could have a hug when we needed {{{huge hugs }}}for you for tonight hope it goes well and its not all baby talk any way in a couple of wks you will be the 1 telling them all your news that you are up the duff

Jenb have a good weekend and try not to do much and relax a bit .

Wll had a good night i not going on hols for another 2 wks you cant get rid of me yet lol
catch you all later have a good day the weather is quite nice here at the moment so going to make the most of it
lots of love Rachel x x

[Welshgirl38]

Morning Ladies,

Just a quickie from me before i sail away into the sunset - ok maybe not the sunset, just a ferry for 2 hours across the irish sea lol.

Jen: So sorry ur feeling so down hun, its really hard when all the talk is about babies, i know that i am pleased as punch for my boss at work being preggers, but i think lately its been getting to me cos every symptom she has, she tells me - she asks me what can she eat, what should she avoid etc - im like - hello! U already have one child and he's only 3 - dont she bloody remember! I dont know, maybe its my hormonnes playing up. I hope u have a good time tonight, try not to let it get u down (easir said than done i know) and if they do start talking about babies, drift away and think of us throwing our arms around u giving u great big bear hugs xxx

Carolyn: I hope im not going to miss too much of ur tmt - i would hate to come back and miss 'the best part' lol. I will be home next Sat - i will pm u with my mob number - i want to know what is happening, and when lol. Take care of urself Xxxx

Rachel: So ur not goin on hols now? How come lol? Are u still having time off from work, or is this the week that ur boss let u have off (n 2 wks time like lol) Glad the weather there isnt too bad - i had a word with Mr sun and told him to get his bloody hat off cos im comming to town lol. Xxxx

Right ladies, i have to dash - still have packing to do - the usuall late things u know, make up, curlers, straghtiners, tongs, hairdryer, etc etc (i couldnt pack those last night, needed em this morning lol)

Have a great week ladies - dont do anything i wouldnt (yeah right!! lol)

Byeeeeeeeee <Becky waves>

Becky Xxxxx

[Jen1d]

Dont know what i would do without you girls.

Thanks Becky and Rachel for your advice.

The hours are ticking away an i'm dreading it but i will put on a brave face and smile.

I am starting to have doubts about a bfp. I have never been pregnant, they say its only my tubes but now i just think any egg will stick. Cant believe i'm stitting here on cylce 5, whats the point???
Am going to phone and try to book some counselling, thought i could manage but the nearer it gets the more i struggle.

Thanks for listening as always, have a good weekend.

Love Jen x

[karia]

hi jen1d sorry your feeling so rotten i know how you feel im starting number 4 in sep and it gets harder each try when we were last at the hospital we were told that we have secondary infertility like you
i have blocked tubes and for some reason or another we dont make good grade embies and we were told to stop trying so num 4 will be my last go keep your chin up and never say never

[shantala]

Hey everyone

Aawww, my cyberladies….we’re really not having a good time at the moment, are we?? Massive hugs to you all!!!! I wish we all lived in the same town and could just meet and have a big girly chat!

(just started typing my post and thought, I know, I’ll include happy smilies to cheer everyone up…hope it works! )

Right, here we go…..

Becky hun – hope you have a lovely weekend. I hope the weather has been as nice where you are than it has been here. The sun has been out since yesterday and it’s put me in such a good mood!!! Hope it’s making you feel better too!! also hope you get things sorted with AF…sounds like you have a backup plan. Its nice to have another plan isn’t it, it takes the pressure off a bit.

Carolyn – those follies sound like they’re coming along just nicely! Not too slow, not too quick. Sounds like they monitor you VERY closely, which is good. I’m keeping a close eye on that clinic with you and if our next cycle fails and we have no frosties again then we’ll definitely keep the ARGC in mind. How have you been finding the daily contact with work? Has it been easy to manage? (I think you said your work doesn’t know either??) anyway, grow follies grow!!

Lara – glad you managed to get the time off for your holiday. I don’t think it matters whether you got to the carribeans or on a caravan holiday, a break is a break!!! Hope you have a lovely time, not long now!!

Jen babes – you were having a bad day the other day, weren’t you! Especially by driving into a fence!! Ladies in scotland, only joking! (hope you didn’t mind the sign) hope you have a lovely weekend….sounds like you will!!

Shazb – glad you won the fight with the hospital! Good on you!!

Beachbaby – hope you’re ok and the dentist wasn’t too bad!!

Jen1d –I really admire you for working, studying and doing IVF. I nearly would have been in the same boat this coming September and decided to defer my studies for one year as it would have been too stressful for me. So hat off to you!! How did your friends evening go?? Thinking of you and hope it wasn’t too bad! Its so hard with family and friends being preggo….big hugs hun!!

Js – fantastic news!!!!!!!! Congratulations!!! And that beta is very high…..hhhhmmmmm!!!!

Nimble – you sound like you’re coping as best as you can so well done for that. Take it easy and don’t rush back into anything (work, IVF, etc). let yourself grieve and time is a healer!! Hope you manage to have maybe just one glass of wine or if not, hope you manage to take your mind off things a bit. Hugs honey from us all!!

As for me (thank you to those for asking!), I’ve been sniffing for 9 days now and side effects are definitely not as bad as last time. Think it might be as a) my body has done it before and is more used to it and b) coz I’m more chilled out about it all. Did have one outburst the other day and cried and had a small headache yesterday but apart from that, nothing!! Have wondered if the spray maybe isn’t working, especially as I’ve had a blocked up nose just lately but I guess we’ll just have to wait and see. (think it probably is as dh says I’m snappy!!)

Anyway, went to see Justin Timberlake last night in concert in London with my mum….he was amazing!!!!! He sounds live just like he sounds on CD, which is pretty amazing. I was only impressed that his dancers weren’t all size 0s!!!! some of them were, I’d say, a size 12 or 14 and it was so nice to see. If more big stars like that would promote bigger sizes like that, there’d be so much less focus on weight in this world!! Anyway, good on Justin I thought!! Right, just so you get the picture of how it was last night.

Justin:

Us:

Hi to everyone else!!!

xxxxxxxxxxxx

[CarolynB]

Shantala - great post hun. It certainly put a smile on my face. Justin sounds absolutely fab. Going with your Mum is so sweet. Hope that she enjoyed it too. Sounds like you are doing great. I was worried that the sniffing was not working especially as I had not much side effects and also had that shockingly bad cold. But it had worked and sure that it will be working for you too. Make sure that you are drinking loads of water as that certainly helps. My clinic told me a minimum of 2 litres of water every day. I have told the client that I am working at right now and my partners in my consulting business too. I just found it less stressful than all the lies. Plus then they have cut me slack when I have been late in to work etc. ARGC are the real deal in my mind. Whether it works or not, the bottom line is that the attention to detail and the personalisation are just awesome. But you have to be prepared to give them your credit card, cost is just a non-issue for them (what ever it takes) and be prepared to drop everything to go to the clinic at short notice and/or take drugs at the drop of a hat. So it is tough to juggle and exhausting. You are not going to need to go there though hun - are you!!!

Jen1d - I am very sorry that you are having such a rough time. Hope last night was not too painful for you. We totally understand. It is so hard for us and then seems so much easier for others. We have all seen ladies on here who have had a +ve on their 5th attempt so why shouldn't that happen for you. I am afraid that the % of success of ivf is about 20%. That means 5 goes. We all keep going because for every lady who gets +ve on the 1st try then there are plenty of other who have to do many more. This will be your time. I know that it is hard to keep your spirits up but think how + ve you were after you went to the clinic. You can do this

Becky - thanks for watching over me. Sure that you will be back before it all gets too exciting! Have a great time in Wales. Knock em dead. Weather seems better (finally) so hope that you get plenty of sun shine

Rachel - sorry I thought that you were off on holiday sooner. Good to have something to look forward to hun. Caravan will be great especially if the sun continues to shine. How is the diet?

JB - Hope that you had a great weekend

Gill - you must be at Big B very soon now. Keeping my fingers and toes crossed that your appointment goes as well as Jen1d

JS - when do you go for your first scan? Are they checking that your bloods are doubling. You had such a great first result. Wondering whether there is 1 or 2 little beanies for you

Shazb - so glad that you won your fight. So what happens now?

Karia - I am on go 4 too. Let's hope that it will be a lucky number for both of us

Jackie - How are you doing? You sounded so brave but I am sure that it is very hard right now. Hope that you had a glass or two of wine at the party and were able to let your hair down a little

Hugs to all who I have missed. Finally a bit of a chance to catch up. It has all been a bit manic with work, tmt, parents here for weekend but at Wimbledon today.

Anyhow, had blood test first thing tomorrow. Then got a call from clinic around midday asking me to go back for another blood test. Running out of space on either arm that is not bruised to bit! Look like a total junkie so needing to wear T-Shirts with long sleeves despite the sunshine! They also gave me some other drugs (yes more) to stop me ovulating. Have used before but only on short protocol not with down regging. And needed to take that urgently yesterday afternoon. Dose dropped from 300ml to 225ml last night.

So my current regime is 6.30am - Down regging nasal spray, 7am - Injection to stop ovulation. 7.30ish - Blood test. 2.30pm - Nasal spray. 9pm - Stimmies. 10.30am Down regging. That is the says when I don't have a scan or a second blood test!! Lordy. I hope all this effort and cost is going to make a difference. Yesterdays blood and extra jabs were nearly £350!!! My credit cards and going to reject as some stage.

Awaiting call from clinic to let me know what I need to do today. I am shattered and live quite close to the clinic. Not sure how ladies are managing who come there from Brighton/Norwich/Bristol etc etc

At least cause it is so full on, it seems to be passing quite quickly. Not going to client this coming week - too much. Will do a little bit from home.

Took a pop at dh last night even though he did all the shopping for my parents and did a b-b-q last night. I am just so tired. Have aplogised but I hate it that we take this out on the people closest to us.

Clinic calling today D9 on stimmies as started last Saturday. Previous 3 tries have always been 10 days on stimmies so hoping that I am nearing the end and that EC will be before the end of the week. Sure that there will be a scan tomorrow first thing so will keep you posted.

Enjoy the rest of the weekend. I am going to watch the grand prix and tennis this afternoon and hope that Lewis Hamilton and Nadal can both do the business. Wtaching both of them will no doubt lift the spirits!!!
Love to you all.
Carolyn
xxxxxxxxxx

[shantala]

First of all a big hello to all the "IVF Ladies". I thought I would take this opportunity to talk about how family members feel when our loved one's go through the treatment. Yes, I know, we will never understand how it feels and what you have to go through.

BUT, the big but now....we can feel the pain of the hopes, expectations, wishes, dreams and tears. I know we can't say a lot, but nevertheless it still hurts and we pray to see our daughters and sons having their wish fulfilled.

I love my daughter very very much and I would be so overjoyed to hold a baby from my daughter in my arms. It hurts to know maybe this will never be the case. Who knows. God knows.

Other people like husbands will never hold their own kind in their arms. Other mothers will never hold a grandchild.

And most importantly each one of you are going through stages where you will do anything to have a baby and it's hard for you all.

And we as your family can't do anything about it. We feel helpless.

Because we would do anything as well to have your wish being granted.

I would go through hell and back for my daughter to have a child. And I am sure other family members would do the same.

All we can do is pray and don't give up hope. That is all we and you can do.

And I pray from the deepest in my heart to make it happen for all of you.

And last but not least THANK YOU ALL FOR BEING THERE FOR EACH OTHER AND THE SUPPORT YOU GIVE TO ONE ANOTHER.

I keep praying. And no matter what. I will be there for Shantala for the rest of my life and will help her with all that is in my power.

No matter what.


Love you all


Shantala's Mum

[nimble]

oh stantala's mum, that was such a lovely post that its made me cry again!!

I know my mum feels exactly the same and would go to the moon and back to help me fulfil my dream.

Here's to all the family members whether it be mums, DH's, dads, brothers, sisters or just fantastic close friends who help our journey down this rocky road a little easier for being there

Shantala - loved your post and put a great big smile on my face - thank you for cheering me up.

Went to the 40th on Friday and 4 glasses of wine, I had passed out - great eh!!! So had a very sore head yesterday but did do us good to get out and mingle with people who knew nothing of our horrendous week.

Carolyn - omg hats of to you girl, that is some schedule to go through every day but thats what the argc is famous for, the individual attention and needs of you. Take care and have every thing crossed for you.

Finally the sun is out so I hope it picks everyone up a bit today - everyone seems a little sad of late - so big hugs to all.

Ought to go and get dressed - been searching the net to find somewhere to go away for a weekend but everywhere is so expensive as it main holiday time.

take care
j xx

[CarolynB]

OMG. Just read the post from your Mum Shantala and am in floods of tears. I know that my Mum is so frustrated & would do anything to help. What a beautiful post. Shantala - give her a hug from me. What a wonderful support you have.

Jackie - glad that you let your hair down girl. Sure that I would pass out after less than 4 glasses of wine these days. Hope that you can find somewhere to go for a break. Sure that it will be good for you & dh. You are right. Not complaining about the clinic. That is why we went there but is demanding when you are there

They called me at about midday and wanted me to go back again for more bloods. Plus a scan on a Sunday afternoon. That is dedication to our cause. Follies are getting there. About 16mm for the largest. Say around 8 on each side based on what I could see. Dr told me that they had me on the other injections as my progesterone was rising as my body tried to ovulate. He thinks that it will be another couple of days before I get to trigger.

Keep you posted. I am going to chill on the sofa with strawberries and cream plus the grand prix and Wimbledon!

Lots of Love
Carolyn
xxxxxxxx

[Jen1d]

Sorry to ruin the happy vibe.

I managed last night and it was ok but couldnt stop staring at the bump--wishing---longing---hoping.
Then today my mum is putting pressure about stupid things and i burst into tears on the phone. So she was a little shocked and she has just been on the phone again and is now doing her me, me, me bit. Cant she understand that we are having a rough week and she kept saying "you have to go and talk to someone" HELLO, I KNOW THIS. Called the hosp and cant get an appointment, mad about htat to. Seems you get a bfn then they leave you until the next cycle. Plus the next person who says i "should just adopt" will get a smack. Dont they know its a long process to adopt and it will never replace my own children that i cant have.
YOU KNOW I JUST FEEL SO EXHAUSTED AND STRESSED.
I keep bursting into tears and getting headaches. I just want to curl up or run away.

Sorry for being so negative girls, think its best i stay away for a bit as i dont want to bring the mood down, you need to stay positive. I will be fine, just need some time out.

Thanks for caring and listening.

Love Jen x

[6 -years -of - trying]

hi ladies just to let you know im still around i keep reading your posts every day ive just had a bit of time out. Ive come to terms with not being able to start till next year. Well as best i can im looking forward to the school hols and getting away for a couple of days.
hope everyone is well and im thinking of you all baby dust to you all



mom20

[CarolynB]

Jen1d

You are not going anywhere. You can come here whether you are happy, sad, tired, frustrated or angry but you cannot jump ship on the thread. We will not allow it. You are leading the Big B girls and they all want to hear how you do. We all want to cheer you on.

Understand if you need some chill out time to prepare yourself but we are here for you through thick and thin. Focus on you. What ever your Mum said really does not matter. What anyone else says does not matter. It is you & your dh that are important right now.

Do check in and let us know how you are doing when you feel up to it? Hope you got the e-mail I sent yesterday to you.

Thinking of you & sending huge hugs. Sure that the gloom will start to lift when you hear from IM and know exactly when you will be going over there.

Hang in there hun. Here for you.
Love
Carolyn
xxxxxxxxxxxx

----------------------------

Mom20 - thanks for popping in & reading all our ramblings. I often think that the waiting is the worst part. At least when you are on tmt then it may not be nice but at least you feel like you are doing something. Hopefully you can have a nice summer and then we will be in the run up to Xmas. Nothing like us all wishing our lives away is there?! Hope that you can have some fun over the summer and manage to get away.

[CarolynB]

Hi All

Sorry I am going to do a me post now.

Popped by as I am struggling too. After 11 days of going to clinic at 7/7.15am every morning the novely is wearing off. Bloods not once but twice every day since Saturday - early morning & early afternoon. My arms are so bruised that there is hardly a spot that they can use to draw the blood. Scan yesterday and today.

The follies have stalled around the 16mm/17mm mark. But my progesterone has shot up. They are very concerned about it and were talking today about having to collect and freeze if they cannot get it under control.

So no stimmies for me this evening to see whether my system will calm down at all. Have to carry on with the nasal spray and the injection in the morning that stops ovulation and hope that the progesterone falls but the follies carry on growing. Blood test first thing and then they will likely call be back in the afternoon.

Met with embryoligist this afternoon to discuss whether we do genetic testing. No easy answers there.

Acu tomorrow afternoon. May be that will help chill me out.

Thank goodness that I am not really working this week as it just would not be possible with all the tests/appointments etc.

I am sure that it will all be fine. Just exhausted.

Sorry not to be more up beat. Just hoping now that I can get to EC.

Must go to bed and hope that things look better after a nights sleep.
Love to you all.
Carolyn
xxxxxx

[gill12]

Hi Girls

Well thank god I have had my laptop back and can now catch up with you all. It has been horrible not being able to write especially as a few of you have been feeling low recently .


Jen- Sorry you have been feeling down these last few days, you have had a difficult time with your friend being pregnant, it is hard, I keep clear of anyone who is pregnant, but just think in a month or so it will be you!!! It wont be long now till BB get in touch and you will have a bfp before you know it.

Carolyn- Oh my god I cant believe how quick your tmt is going. I am sorry you are starting to struggle but hang on in there it wont be long now and you will get that bfp! Treatment is hard, it is very draining mentaly and physically but you are nearly there, Im glad you are having a bit of time off this week sounds like it is just what you need take care.

Jackie- I have been thinking of you loads, hope you are doing ok. Im glad the 40th went well.

Shantala- Your mums post was lovely, I know my mum feels the same, it must be so hard for them watching us go through all this.I thought the jigging justin was great! sounds like you had a fab time at the concert. Glad the sniffing is going well.

Becky- Sorry if I have missed you, I hope you have a lovely time in wales hopefully the sun will shine for you. I hope af shows on time.

Rachel- Glad you got your holidays, the only place i will be going this summer is Barcelona and as we are having to go back for the extra tests we wont be staying the few days we had hoped for when we have the et done, its costing us a lot more to have the tests done and the flight and accomodation are all adding the ££'s so it will be a quick there and back. Hopefully we will be able to go and stay with my sister in Cheltenham for a few days but we will have to wait and see how tmt goes.

JenB- Sorry to hear about your car accident but glad you are ok. Have you heard back of the IM yet??I hope you have and that everything is sorted.

J S- Congratulations, fantastic news!!

Shaz b- Fantastic news about getting more tmt, well done!!

Sorry to those I have missed, I have a lot of catching up to do! a lot has happened in the 10 days or so I have been without this laptop.

Well as for me af is due in the next day or so and I will then be able to start my medication!! the clinic will then give me a date to go back for the hysteroscopy and then hopefully it wont be too long untill we sart tmt properly. So I am jigging for af to come so I can get started.

Take care everyone
lots of love
Gill xxx

[lara312]

Morning ladies

Carolyn so to hear your starting to struggle a bit hopefully today scan and blood test will have showed things have calmed down a wee bit and you will get to trigger very soon any tmt is hard but yours this time is very time consuming and it must be very hard has your back and fore the hospital all the time hopefully you will get to ec by the end of the week (now listen to me eggies you have to grow very big today so you can come out ) hope you get better news today.

Shantala loved the post with all the smileys glad you had a good time at the justin concert and the post of your mum was just great its good to see that i know all our mums feel the same but to see it all wrote down really brought it home .

Gill glad to have you back

Jen now get your arse back here we are here for you wheather your happy sad or just mad i hope that you will be able to get an appt soon now like carolyn said you are going to lead the big b girls with the BFP's i know you might need a bit of time for you but we will only worry when your not here

Jackie you are such a brave lady you are very strong sending {{{hugs }}} to you and dh

Well i suppose i bettwr start getting ready for work dont feel like going af came on sat and i just feel so tired all the time catch you all later
ps carolyn good luck today i know that this will be your time
lots of love Rachel x x