Awaiting Treatment

[CarolynB]

Hi All

I have been a bit quite. Sorry. Think that I have been trying to do a bit of work from home - but not too much. And then when that has done feel quite tired and just want to chill in front of the TV.

So expect this to be a long one from me as there has been a lot going on.......

Karia - it is great that you have dates. Rather less good about the clash. I would just ask them gently if you can pick up the drugs before your hols. Hopefully they will be reasonable and not expect you to cancel your holiday. Good Luck

Becky - I know this is easy to say but try not to worry. The dates can all move forward and back. I found that I would schedule everything out (Control Freak) only for things to shift. It is best to try to go with the flow and sure that you will manage to avoid the wedding. It really is too far away to be worrying about it right now. Acu has certainly helped regulate my cycle between tmts and shorten my cycle to like 31 days from 35. But I had to go pretty much every week to have that sort of effect. Certainly worth a thought

Jen1d - good luck at the drs tomorrow. I hope that they are able to help you and put a smile on your face. dh spoiling me - you are having a laugh. Currently at the golf range. Tomorrow a golf match. Friday a visit to a casino with his mates. Then he has golf on Saturday and Sunday. I am clearly not doing a good job of controlling him although to be fair he has some how managed to do all the food shopping and will not let me near the hoover or the iron. That probably means nothing will get done for another 10 days!!! I am so glad that you have had more news from IM and that a certain special lady is on her way

Nimble - where are you off to on hols? Somewhere nice - I just read back and saw Mauritius. That is going to be totally awesome. Surely I can come too & with everyone else. How much fun would that be? Sure that it will do you the world of good. I am with you re-Jen and councelling. How can anyone go past it? It just hits you when it hits you. Right. I never quiz my dh too much about who he has told and what he has said. They tend to play it very close to their chests so great if your dh has someone to talk to. Our holiday £ has got invested in tmt this year but not sure that I shall be able to cope without a holiday at all!???

Gill - your dh is such an amazing man. My dh is struggling to get his brain around a donor egg when I am ok with that. You are a great couple and have such a wonderful attitude - whatever it takes. Honestly I felt that by having the hysteroscopy that it gave them a much better idea of where to put the embies back. They even adjusted it so rather than doing ET with a full bladder, I did with half full based on the measurements they took. Plus they modified the cathether for transfer based on the hysteroscopy too. I am sure that it will help a lot

Rachel - so sorry to here about dh's step gramps. But you need a holiday so stick to your guns. I am sure that someone else can put them up and it does not have to be you. You work so dam hard. Up every day at the crack of dawn. You must have some time off

Shantala - you sound like you are breezing along & the dates are coming up really quickly. It is so good that you have the time off work arranged already. That is a big headache that you don't need to worry about. So the stuff that they gave me - here is the run down as you asked and so did Jackie and someone else too. Clexane injection at 10pm is form of heparin. Blood thinner. Help the blood flow to my uterus. Showed up low on some of the (millions) of tests that were run. So they think that it might not be helping implanation. Baby aspirin is at 10am. Again blood thinner. Same reasons as heparin. Ritodine is 4 times per day. Every 6 hours. 10am - 4pm - 10pm and 4am (yep - gotta love that every night). It is given to woman to stop premature labour. Think aim is to try to keep the uterus calm/still and stop it contracting. Progesterone suppositories (nice) at 10am and 10pm. Used before but they have doubled does as I have never got beyond D11 before. You did ask hun!!!! Sure it is because we have had 3 tries and seem to struggle with implanation phase. Hope that your mortgage comes through soon - soliciters can be so slow

JB - still no sign of the Greys Anatomy dvds right mess up. We bought in US to save £ only to find our dvd will not play. There is some cheat on the internet to get it to play but does not exist for our machine. So have sold US set on e-bay and repurchased but not here yet. I am desperate hormonal woman - don't they realise!!! I feel bowled over by all the baby dust. Thanks hun. Sounds like you had a great night with the neighbours. We all need to let our hair down. I am jigging for you hun but only gently as not sure that I am meant to jump up & down right now. Glad that you dog is better now & the painters have at least shown

Aunty - hope that all is going well with the house. Really not long now for you & Sam. Hope that everything is going to go smoothly

Angel - good to have you back. Lots of catching up for you to do

Pequele - sorry not sure the answers to some of your questions but on hpt I would only ever use on 1st pee of the day. They find it hard to pick up the hcg early and so you need the strong stuff to have a chance! I wonder how long it will be before I cave in............Thanks for cheering me on

Hugs to everyone else.

Rachel and Becky - you would be proud of me. Have been in PJs since ET. Have showered and put on a clean pair but not been out the house yet since we came home on Monday. Thought clinic might call today about other 4 embies but no call. Decided not to call as sure it will stress-upset me. Sure that they have not made it to blastocyst. That is exactly what happened last time around. 4 stopped on D5 and the two that were put back on D6 were very slow & stopped at the stage before blastocysts. Anyhow trying to focus on 3 inside me. I am PUPO - pregnant until proven otherwise!!!!!! Read it on another chat board. I fluctuate between the two extremes. Why would this possibly work when nothing has worked for 3 previous tries. How can this possibly fail after all the new clinic, new drugs, the hysteroscopy etc etc Trying to stay calm. Walking around a little. Sat in sun for an hour today and dh and I had supper on our deck in the sun. Doing some work from home but not allowing it to concern me. Have sorted the payroll/commissions for the month so everything else can wait if it has too!

Feel quite calm. I will be a raving nutter by this time next week if I get that far.

Love to you all. You have been a fab support to me and I know that you will be my lifeline through the next 10 days. If I am not on here every day then it is just because I am tring not to obsess if at all possible. Does not mean that I am not thinking of you all.

Night Night.
Carolyn
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

[lara312]

Evening ladies

Becky well how much more can you put up with its so much going on for you but until af arrives what can you do i will start jigging that it comes early hopefully things will work out for you sweetie

Carolyn glad that your taking it a bit easy i do so hope that your other embies are in the freezer ready for another set of triplets tell your dh he should be looking after you not out playing bloody golf them embies are now getting lovely and snug where they are staying for the next 8 months you are on such a cocktail of drugs but if it works its all worth

Gill i admire you so much but like you said whatever it takes and at the end of the day it will be your baby you will give birth to it and love anbd nuture it

Jackie hope you havbe a good night out with the girls you deserve to let your hair down

Jen you go and sort out that dr tomorrow hope that you can now have a couple of days off relaxingyou work does seem very stressful at times you deserve a medal

Jen b its nice to do something different at least you had a good time even if it was a late night let your hair down and enjoy

Aunty hows the bedroom looking now

Shantala glad your having some time off

Well nothing new here are still going to have our holiday b*****s to them i deserve it had the car back but air con not fixed they couldnt get the part so will have it done after the hols
Will catch you all tomorrow hi to all i missed
lots of love Rachel x x

[beachbaby]

Hi Ladies, sorry i've been missing again, never seem to have a minute at the moment.

Carolyn, congratulations on getting your great embies back, hope you got some to freeze also, not that your going to need them. Hope your taking it easy and DH is spoiling you rotten.

shantala, glad to hear this time round is easier for you, not long now and you seem well sorted with your time off at work. take care hun.

Jen1d, hope all goes well with the dr tomorrow, why is it too late for councelling? we have never been offered through the clinic since we started, but were offered it when they removed our funding. Hope your feeling more positive it's all moving along fast now, you'll be pg't before you know it. How great that your work has managed to organise free councelling for you, hope it helps put you at ease. take care.

Becky, what's with you it never rains it pours lol, i am sure AF will behave herself so all will be well for dear sIL's wedding, i am sure you will be fine as long as transfer is not on the day, i think accu could be beneficial, it would be worth calling them and asking a few questions, i have just strted acc and found it very interesting. hope it all pans out for you, after all the hurdles. i have everything crossed for you.

Gill, ooh getting exciting now, both you and your DH seem very level headed, and have come to the best decision to give yourselves every chance of a baby at the end of this, and hopefully some frosties for next time. good luck next week.

jackie, so glad you got an appointment so quickly, hope he agrees to do the tests for you, my clinic LGI in leeds, do all the tests after 2 miscarraiges, i am awaiting my results from this on August 9th, so will let you know, what happens next. i am so jealous of your holiday, it is definately on my list of places to go, we are hoping to go to Italy in early Sept, but have to wait for results from clinic before we arrange anything. take care, have a good night out.

Well off to watch BB, to everyone i've missed i am sorry i will catch up more tomorrow, take care everyone.
Jayne

[js200632]

hi ladies...just came to say hello...and c how everyone is doing

Carolyn....those embies r much better than mine so tons of good luck and baby dust to you....i'll be praying for u...so 2ww must be fun just one advice....lots of bed rest for first few days.....

Nimble....i felt so bad abt your m/c. ..its so unfair...

shantala...thx for the congrats...goodluck to u too..i thought beta was high too but on first scan they just saw something looking like one sac only...i have to go tomorrow for heart beat so lets see

gill....thx....hope it works out great for every single one of us

good luck to all of u...as for me..i m having some cramping so worried....my last beta was 6915 some 10 days ago....if its doubling why havent i started feeling sick?i'll go tomorrow for a scan...so lets see..
love u all
bye

[AuntyPebbles]

Hi Lady's

Becky how cool is that to have some kind of dates...i know it's easy to say but please try not to fret too much it will all work out in the end, as for having something major going on around ET i think it's a really good thing not sure why but it seems everyone i have seen that had loads going on, some of them so much they where sure no way could they get a BFP ...bang they did, maybe having something else to focus on aroung that time helps you to relax but im sure you will be fine...im so excited for you to get going...hugs

Jen sounds like a real shitty time at work, so pleased you have some you time for a few days at least...wishing you loads of luck tomorrow looking forward to reading your news

Jackie hope you have a good night out...happy hangover love the term what a plonker not heard that in ages...hugs to you

Karia i hope they let you get your meds early it wont hurt them so they had better...let us know if they say no we will all pop over see what they have to say

Gill thanks yeah bedrooms all painted (phew) much more mellow....we are putting hard wood floors in tomorrow (me and Sam) neither of us has done it before so should be fun man i cant wait to move...lol..love your decision it's kinda peacful when you reach a decision isnt it...wishing many healthy embies

Carolyn really good to read you ...our resident pupo...i feel for you, i so hope the clinic call tomorrow with some great news, know what you mean about not calling but i like the saying no news is good news thinking of you and your little ones

Rachel your so funny are still going to have our holiday b*****s to them made me laugh...good for you though...bedrooms getting there slowly....

well me im freaking myself out, i got sent home from work today i was having hot flushes really bad not got a high temp but i felt hot and my skin was wet ....well tonight im laying down trying to go to sleep and i start to think...mmm my last 2 AF's where really late and really light now im having hot flashes OMG im going through menopause of course i am convinced now it's all over for me i am turning into an old lady and all my eggs have gone..so of course cant sleep thought id come talk to my cyber friends (of course your all in bed) ...anyway going to make a cup of tea

loads of love to you all...sweet dreams read you tomorrow

Aunty

[Welshgirl38]

Mawnin ladies

Aunty: Hello you Hopefully u got to sleep ok in the end last night (this morning - whenever lol)
If ur going thru the great menapause, then i am too lol - my AF's have been all over the place the last 3 to 4 mths, one not showing up untill 4 and a half weeks late (remember that) the next one was non existance, and this one - well 11 days late with i dont know how much pain and clots to go with it (sorry tmi), so im dreading the next one, but praying she will arrive when need be lol - so if we are, then we're in it together
I just thinkk that we are stressed, me over the tmt (when i finally have it, im fed up of it moving each mth) and u - moving house and trying to get everything sorted. Ur working hard in the house, and working hard at work, i really dont know how u fit it all in hun, ur like superwoman lol. So u need to start taking things s l o w l e y and once u move in, i think things will return to normal, ur young and healthy, not old and haggered lol xxxx

Js: Hiya mummy How are things with u? Its lovely to hear from u, im so pleased everything is going well. So its a scan for u tomorrow then? 20th yes? Please let us know how everything is going - ur beta numbers look fab, really fab. How many did u have put back, Good Luck with the scan, and let us know - ur on the top of our list, and we want to keep it growing hugz to u and wee one(s) lol xxxx

Jayne: So lovely to hear from u, how u doing? So ur another avid BB fan then (the list is getting longer lol) i do so love it. Did u watch it last night - That Charley is really p*****g me off now, how dare she wind Brian up like that - she was doing it on purpose the bloody horrible cow! She is so gonna come down with a bang that girl .... Anyway, hope u are keeping well hun and looking after urself xxx

Rachel: Thanks for jigging already for me hun, it never rains with me eh lol. Brian and i had a chat last night and we are taking it day by day, i might go for some acu, depends how the funds are looking, but i feel i have to do summit to jiggy it on, on time this mth. We decided that if EC and ET were just two or three days before the wedding, then we would go ahead, If it pans out that either EC or ET is on the day (then we obvisouly wont) As i said, we are gonna take it day by day and cant decide nothing for deffinite yet as dont know when AF will show! Glad to hear ur still going on ur well deserved holiday - sod everyone, u have to think of urself - i wouldnt give mine up either, so im with u on that one Brians air conditioning in the car has broke too, it was horrible travelling in it to Wales and Colchester, if we opened the window on the motorway, it was like gale force winds and we couldnt hear ourselves speak, but if we kept it closed we couldnt breath. He is taking it to Kwikfit as they do it there at a reasonable price - fingers crossed lol xxx

Carolyn: Im so glad that ur taking things easy, and even keeping away from the board for a day or so (altho u are missed) i think u need to distance urself and not to annalyise everything and anything - like u said, its just the first week, and next week will be the worse! Im praying everyday for you, u have some really good embies there and with all the drugs, change of clinic and all the precautions u have been taking this time - i have a wonderful warm happy feeling about this time for u. Everything is crossed, my PMA is buzzing for u Well done on being in ur PJ's - dont u just love it i have lazed about all week, only went shopping the once, ive been cleaning and sorting cupboards out, sorting all me wardrobe out etc etc, and each afternoon about 5ish, i have been taking a bath, and jumping straghit into my pj's - ohhhhhhh i love it lol. Hope ur DVD's arrive for u soon, i cant beleive u ordered them off the American site (duh! Blonde moment lol) Take care hun, and relax (easier said than done i know) Thinking of u Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Gill: I have to agree with all the ladies here, u and ur DH have a really special relationship to choose both donor eggs and donor sperm. As u said it will be like adopting - but more special - u will give birth to YOUR child, u feel ur child kick and move inside u - u will bond and it will be fantastic. I do think that donor women and men are selfless and wondeful human beings - to be able to give the love of a child to someone is beyond everything in my book. You are giving urselves the best chance here hun, u go for it, we are behind u all the way xxxxx

Karia: Hello you Isnt the weather shite here at the moment Im sure if u explain to the royal (might be best to actually visit them first - cos they are crap at anwsering their phone) that u have booked ur holiday, and wish to pick up ur drugs before u go - its only a few days and im sure they will try to accomadate u. Failing that (as they can sometimes be funny there - thats why i went back to good ole Origin) can u change the date of ur holiday? Ring them up and ask just out of curiosoty - u ever know unless u ask. Failing that, then u have a decision to make - i would rather give up my holiday (under protest mind u lol) than go back to the bottom of the NHS list - it will be at least another 15mths, if not more. U can holiday anytime after - sunning urself on a beach with a big fat tummy - ooooooo heaven (just make sure u pack plenty of sun cream!!!) Hope u come to a decision soon, and the right one for u. Just have to say tho - that on Sat i got my letter from the Royal too asking me to go on my Aug AF - we would have been cycling together, in the same place had i have not gone back to the Origin! The only way i will use the Royal will be for my NHS cycle - hopefully i wont need it tho Keep me posted how u get on hun xxx

Jen1d: I cant beleive that the bloody DR told u that u was past councelling!!! I have never ever heard anything so stupid in my life!! I think u need to change DR's or summit ..... I would like to kick that one up the arse! An as for Nicki going - i totally agree (BB by the way lol) she peeved me off last night causing an argument in the party room (lol@ them for being in there for hrs and hrs on end lol) I think people like Jerry - altho i think it will be Liam who wins, or one of the twins - Brian had a right loss of temper last night - shame on the ***** Charley for winding him up - she needs a slap or ten! Ooooo to leave me in a room with her - i would love to slap her lol.

JenB: Hello hun, hows things going. My chill out weekis going great thanks, ive read 2 books already (how i find the time i dont know lol) i bought - 'The second Wives club' which i enjoyed and had it read by Wednesday - and im on my 2nd now. Altho the 2nd one ive already read 3 times I cant help it, but i do so love the book, i bought it about 4 years ago and it made me laff so much - i found it while i was sorting everything out yesterday and havent put it down since lol. Its by my fav comedy writer 'Sophie Kinsella' and is called 'Can u keep a secret'. I have all her books - mostly 'Shopoholic' series - she is so funny, and if a book makes me laff outloud then im hooked Might try that Jilly Cooper that u suggested if its a funny one, i do love to laff - makes the world go round

Shantala: Hello hunnie bun How is u keeping? Busy at work. Im dreading going back next week - wont be so many posts then im afraid I know that when we go back i will have 2 weeks of mail to open (nice) as the office closes down for 2 weeks, no one is there at all - and 2 weeks of mail trust me will arrive in 2 sacks. very busy office i work at - loads of invoices to get thru, im dreading it really an u watch the bloody sun come out as soon as i go back to work will not be amused. I want a barbieeeeeeee (not the doll lol) BBQ - i really should spell it the proper pucker way lol Anyway hun, hope u are well, hows the drug taking going??? xxx

Well ladies, hello and hugz to everyone i have missed - sorry its such a long one today (i do love long ones!) Posts i mean i had better go and get myself sorted (im still in my pj's haha!) think i will go water the flowers, ohhhh i have seeds to scatter too - Rachel/Gill u may have heard of these - i have welsh poppies to seed - they are like normal poppies, but yellow and grow a little taller - also have summit called - mamgu hats - apparantly they grow about 15inches and the flower curls like a hat. Well anyway, i will be the only one in Norn Iron to have them - and when people ask, i will say they are WELSH - and not just daffodils lol

Toodle Pip ....

Becky Xxxxx

[Welshgirl38]

JS200632......... BFP
July 3rd … Beta 780
July 9th … Beta 6915
July 20th … Scan



Lady’s on 2 week wait!
CarolynB..3 perfect embies snuggling in - Test Date - 28th July

Lady’s Having Treatment

Jen1d... Started Tablets June 26 untill 6th Aug, wait for AF then start patches
Shantala... 30th June started nasal spray
26th July….Start Stimms
EC & ET…W/C …Aug 6th
Gill12... 11th July started patches…26th July Doopler & Hysteroscopy

Lady's in Waiting...

Nimble/Jackie...Appt…7th Aug …. Holiday to Mauritius…. Sept
JB(Jen)...Appt…3rd August in Barcelona
Rachel/Lara312... Lost 21lb Well Done
Geckogirl... Nov/Jan - Donor egg
AuntyPebbles... Saving for ivf # 4…Decorating & moving into new home … 25th July
Welshgirl38/Becky... Aug AF
ShazB...Sept?
Karia …Aug AF
Melissa112... June Start Clomid
BabyBlue (Kim)…Waiting for Donor…June?
Green... July
BeachBaby …Acu July 12th
Charlie78... August
Nannybear...August
Sassynlv...August
Pequele...I.U.I - Oct
6Yrs (mom20)…Jan 08
Angel505... ?
Curlydoo...10th May..AF Due?..do we dance or sing?


Nimble/Jackie... Very sadly lost her beautiful beanie. In our thoughts and prayers xxxxxxx

[Angel505]

Hi again!!!!!

after having been offline for almost a month, I don't think I could possibly catch up with everything going on. i'll apologize in advance if I miss out anyone. Also have someone hovering around me today so can't spend too much time on the net. If my post ends abruptly, you'll know why.

Carolyn - so happy for you. sending you lots of hugs. Hope you are taking it easy this week and letting dh take care of you. Don't let work stuff bother you. As you said yourself this is more important.

Becky - hope you're enjoying your week off. The weather's been lovely too, so make the most of it.

Shantala - its good you're feeling relaxed, but hun you can't forget to sniff! By the way, saw the letter from your mum and was touched by it. Do give her a big hug from me.

Gill - whatever route you go, at least you and dh and totally in it together. Your child, whether genetically related to you or not will be so lucky to have such a wonderful loving environment to grow up in.

Lara - sorry about DH gran. No, you don't sound harsh at all. Sometimes we think so much about others that we don't think about our own happiness and there is nothing wrong in doing that sometimes.

Jen babes - excited for your appointment. 2 weeks will be up before you know it. Your little street party sounded cool.

Jen1 - hope youre enjoying your feww days off.

Nimle - its good that your DH will be able to talk about things and share his pain. Hope you are going on a fantastic holiday to an exotic location.

Sorry if I've missed out anyone. Lots of hugs to you all.

We've got our first appointment with the private clinic. Bit apprehensive about it. We've had all the tests done and I just pray that he does not suggest any more. Will let you all know how it goes.

My friend who's in USA got a baby this week. I'm still trying to muster up the courage to speak to her on phone and sound real happy for her. At least she's not here otherwise I'd have to go and see her! Is it so bad that I can't feel anything for her at the moment? I feel like a horrible person.

Talk to you later!

[CarolynB]

Hi All

Sorry this is going to be a doom and gloom post but just got call from the clinic.

All 4 embryos disgarded. None of them even made it past the divide cells stage. Even last time when we did not get to blasts, a couple made it to morula. Did not even get there this time. May be it is a totally bad bunch of eggs given the way the stats feel. Or may be given my age and my auto immune disorder I need to face the fact that my eggs are knackered.

I know, I know what you will say. The best ones are back inside me and I should keep up the PMA.

But I am sick and tired off going through this process and fighting so hard. Can't somebody give us a break. In 4 Fresh cycles, I have generated 54 embryos, 25 have fertilised and we have now had 10 back home. Not to mention the £25k that we have spent.

What does a girl have to do?????

Sorry - but just had to sound ok with my dh and my Mum when all I want to do is bawl my eyes out and scream about the unfairness of it all.

I will of course pull myself back together and carry on looking after myself and taking all the drugs..............

Thanks for listening. Sorry about the rant. Sure that I will pick myself up again by tomorrow.

Much love
Carolyn
xxxxxxxxxxxx

[Angel505]

Hi Carolyn,

First of all don't ever feel sorry for ranting on this forum. We're all here for each other. If you want a place to vent, this is it.

at least you're staying strong and being positive about continuing with your drugs and all. All our prayers are for the embies snuggling in you at the moment. I'm sorry, I don't know what else to say except that truly beleive that the best ones are growing in you. The positive vibes will reach the little ones. Yes.....you already knew we were going to say that.

Carolyn, please take care of yourself. And everytime you feel like bawling, just write as much as you want on this thread. Hugs and kisses, Ang.

[lara312]

Caroyln so sorry that the others didnt make it i feel sad for you but you know that this is going to be your time those 3 in there are lil fighters and they arent going nowhere we are here for you and you rant all you like it just so bloody unfair all the time but positive thoughts and all those drugs are surely going to help (comon lil embies stick to mammy ) {{{hugs for you}}}

Angel when is you appt sorry if you did say but head full of toys today its so hard when someone has a baby and you want 1 so much to pretend that your happy for them when its killing you inside sorry if i confused anyone but its dh's step gramp not nan

Jen hope your drs appt went well

Js i bet you cant wait till tomorrow to have your scan i cant wait to see how many you got in there

Jayne hows the getting your parents flat coming did your sis help you after

Shantala you are always so busy with work i bet you cant wait for a few days off

Aunty you cant be going thru menopause your to young like becky said its stress you will soon be all snug in your new home hope that the floor laying goes well

Becky glad you have talked it over with dh and have things sorted in your head i really hope that af is going to be early for you but 1 good thing the wedding well take your mind of the 2ww if thats where you will be i loveto be in my pjs i come in from work everyday and shower and get them straight on and now looks like carolyn could be converted to wear them all day .Whats wrong with your air con it is nice to have it on rather than the windows espically on the motorway

Well still dont know wheen the furneral is i hate waiting i need to know never mind 1 more day to work and i cant wait even though its rain forecast i will try and pop on before i go if not carolyn relax and positive vibes being sent to you and them 3 embies shantala hope that you are ready for stimming and gill good luck for your hys(cant sp it so that thing your having done) hope you all have a good week will try and log on at some point next week even if i have to get sis to write my message
lots of love Rachel x x

[beachbaby]

Hi Ladies,

carolyn, i am so sorry the rest didn't make it. But keep the positive vibes you have three embies in there fighting, and with all your taking you've every chance that this cycle will work. the clinic have worked so closely with you the odds on success have to be greater. i have everything crossed for you.

karia, i am sure if you explain to the clinic they will let you have your drugs a little sooner. Its not as if you need to be at the clinic to start them.

rachael, hope the funeral is either at the start or end of the week so your holiday isn't too disrupted. Hope the weather is good for you next week, we have glorious sunshine today, sods law when i'm stuck at work all day. waiting for the painter to start at mums was due this week but delayednow till next week, furniture all gone so sis did her job, just got to get the ad sorted now, to put in paper next week.

well as for me only three weeks to go till my appointment, and then we go straight on to the lakes for a long weekend, can't wait. also AF here for me ladies, 27 days i bet you all hate me. my one complaint is it always arrives on the day i have to be at work all day on my feet as the staff are on their day off. but hoping the sunshine stays as i'm finished for the weekend tomorrow lunch and having friends for bbq friday night for birthday party.

will check in soon, hope everyone i missed is ok and sorry i missed you but got to do some more work.
Jayne

[Welshgirl38]

Carolyn:

Now i know this isnt what u want to hear (or it is, and u know im gonna say it!) ... first off, dont u worry about posting a doom and gloom post, we are here for u come rain or sun shine. We are going thru this together, and are not going anywhere .....

I cant imagine how ur feeling right now, just the once getting a BFN was bad enough for me, and to know this is ur 4th time, then it is understandable that ur thinking the worst.

The embryologist picked the best 3 embies to put back inside u, they are now living in an enviroment where nature intended them to be not in a dish at the clinic. They are safe and warm, and ur not to give up hope!

It's sad that ur other embies didnt make it, and for that im truly sorry - but they wernt as strong as the 3 u have inside you, hense the reason why these 3 were put back. Did u ask why they didnt make it - it might not have been down to the quality of ur eggs.

I know ur sick and tired of going thru all this hun, and i know that u just want to 'give up' but im not ready to let u do that - its not over untill the fat lady sings and i sure as hell havent started singing yet - and im damed sure u wouldnt want to hear me either (Are u smiling yet?)

Please hun, u have to stay strong for ur embies, if u want to cry - then cry - if u want to scream - then scream - get it all out of ur system and dont hang on to it - let it go and get ur PMA back, especially for the sake of ur mum and ur DH, u dont need to be strong for them right now, they have to be strong for u - let it out and tell them how ur feeling, im sure ur DH will understand completly, he is proberly holding on to it for u too.

Please, pretty please - DONT give up - rant as much as u like, but dont give up. Thinking about u, and praying hard for u and ur embies ...

Love, as always

Becky Xxxx

[Jen1d]

Hi

Well my trip to the Doc was -------- WET
She is so nice that 2 mins in the door and i was blubbering. She spent quite a while with me and offered to sign me off on the sick as she feels i am depressed, but i just feel there is no point in that as i would sit at home and become even more miserable.
Better to be there, keep busy and get abuse hurled at me all day from the yp
Cant even remember what she said about the counselling but know she cant offer us any as its all due to finance and waiting lists. She is willing to write to the hospital clinic where we did our 4 cycles to try and push them for a counsel date. I declined this at the moment as my work have offered 6 sessions free, we can have that soon. She said 4 cycles really is not much and if we compare that to fertile couples trying to get pregnant---its nothing. Fertile couples try every month and sometimes it takes up to a year to concieve------thats 12 chances they have had. She reminded me about the higher % i have this time---i must keep reminding myself of that

Told the Dr about how great it is to be able to chat to people who understand. Strange but after talking to her i just realised how much of a brave face i put on and how much others dont have a clue what we go through. I have to stop that as i'm bottling all my feeling up and will expload but i just feel if you tell people they think you are moaning.

Anyway this weather is not helping eh. Wish i could be in Big B for the duration of the treatment---now that would be fab.

Carolyn - As i said in my email--and i agree with Becky---the 3 little embies are best back inside you, hang in there, we're expecting you to lead us all into BFP heaven

Gill - Glad you have managed to reach a decision you and dh are both happy with. Your a lucky thing getting to go back to Big B so soon. How many days you staying? Next time we are there it will be ET and staring at hotel walls for 24hrs then home.

Aunty - Thanks for your lovely waves and pics, they always cheer me up

Becky and Aunty - Can completely relate about the menopause. During my first cycle i had terrible hot flushes, thought it was all over. Strange though, i never got them in the next 3 cycles. Hang in there, your not old------yet

JS - Hope your scan went well, let us know.

Rachel - Hope everything goes ok at the funeral.

Jayne - the Lakes sound fab, just what i need. Enjoy every second.

Hi to everyone else, thinking of you all

Love Jen

[js200632]

carolyn: hey look at me....i had 9 eggs fertilized...7 made it to day 3 embryos...3 were transferred...rest didnt reach day 5 so discarded and just one stuck.....so all you need is one to make it work...and believe me it does work...it will work for you too....

as for my scan...we saw one tiny heart today...out of all those 16 eggs....this is the only one that is in there...so i feel blessed....and guess what...after seeing it i started getting nausea too..lol
thanx for all the best wishes