Awaiting Treatment

[Jen1d]

Hi

Well we have to start having some good news on this thread, its looking so sad again.

Carolyn - Sending loads of hugs your way. Hope work wasn't to bad today and your now a home and snuggled up with dh. We're all here if you need a chat or a cry.

JenB - Thanks Jen, going to counsellor on Monday. Feel a bit better now the clinic email and i sort of know roughly when ET will be.

BUT guess what. Remember during my last cycle i was called for Jury service and had to cancel due to ET----well they have sent me another citation for the 20th Aug Call me mad but i desperately want to do it (i'm a bit morbid and gory) this time but might have to cancel because of this ET. I think someone up there must be plotting to p**s me off for life

Also my friend in London who is 5 months preg and 39, the one i couldnt bring myself to talk to. Well she called out of the blue tonight so i had to chat. It was fine though and nice to hear from her but she kept quizzing me about my next treatment. But get this, she asked if we were going to think of using a donor and go to somewhere like America or Spain, then she quickly decided Spain--------------she is a little bit psychic-------------spooky or what. I was so surprised that i stuttered we were thinking of looking into clinics abroad but didnt say anything else.

Oh well, off to watch Location Location and then BB for a chill out after studying all day

Love to you all

Jen x

[CarolynB]

Dear All

I am sorry that I do not yet have the strength to do personals but did want to thank you all for your messages. They mean a lot to me. Just told dh how wonderful the support is. I will catch up with all of you at the weekend for sure but feel totally & utterly shattered - physically and mentally.

It was so very hard to start spotting at work yesterday although not unexpected. Had to keep going as if all was normal including an interview which went on almost 2 hours.

Last night I was an utter utter nightmare for my husband when I got back from work and could let it all out. He simply did not know what to do with me. He is a star. I am not sure what I would do without him.

I don't feel as bad as I have done sometimes or at least not today - sure it will hit me when I least expect it. May be because I know that I tried at the 'best' (at least statistically) clinic in the country and did everything that they told me too and still no joy. May be you know after that then there probably is nowhere left to go and that you don't have to go through the nightmare again. May be I processed some of it early when the numbers fell and when the embies outside did not make it.

So spotting by D11 turns to pretty full flow on D12. Same as before - identical. I was so busy at work today that I could not even call the clinic. Until I can speak to them I have to keep going with all the drugs and injections that were given to help implantation. Adds insult to injury having to jab yourself with heparin and wake up at 4am in the morning for a tablet when AF is well and truely here.

I mailed Barcelona yesterday as we start to build a plan and they were back to me by this morning. Think that will be our plan unless we go back to argc and they can persuade us of some miracle that they would be able to afford us on try 5! So will be asking Jen, Gill and JB lots of questions for sure. A quartet of little B babies is what is required

Thanks again. Thinking of you all. I will be back soon and in better shape - promise.

Lots of Love
Carolyn
xxxxxxxxxx

[gill12]

Hi Girls

Carolyn hun its good that you are planing your next move. I am so sorry this was not your time, its so unfair. Im glad dh has been a great support what would we do without them. You take care of yourself x

Sorry I havent got time to do any more personals tonight, need to go for a bath, paint nails etc as we are off to Barcelona tomorrow for my hysteroscopy . We are leaving the house at 3.30am!! our flight is at 7.00am so I need to get to bed early for a change. I will try and catch up over the weekend. I just hope they dont find anything wrong with me.

Take care everyone
lots of love
Gill xxx

[shantala]

Hi Ladies!!!

how is everyone?? well, as for me, i went for my d/r check yesterday. this lovely nurse called nikki took my bloods (she was there for my EC last time and reassured me and was really kind as i was so worried) and i was telling her that i was a bit concerned that the sniffing might not have worked as i've had a couple of colds, etc. So she said she would scan me if I wanted to as she can tell straight away then (whereas the blood test results i didnt get until after 3pm today)...anyway, so i said if she didnt mind, so she did. and she told me that everything had stopped working and i'm downregged!! woohoo! and the blood test results confirmed that today. so i can reduce the downreg sniffer as of tonight and start injections tomorrow! yey!! then have first follie scan on the 3rd aug, which is a week friday.

i voiced my concerns to her about my large number of immature eggs yesterday. i asked her if the trigger could have anything to do with it (as i think i lost too much of the medicines when i primed the needle) and she said there is absolutely no way. she said if i had done something wrong with the trigger there would have been no mature eggs at all. so she said they have made a note that they are going to leave me longer (if it goes the same as last time) and even reduce my dose at the end and coast me along a bit so they can grow me bigger. woohoo!! thats what i needed to hear as it didnt sound like they were definitely going to change anything. makes me feel a lot better.

she did say that if they get the follies the right size and i still have lots of immature eggs, then there is nothing they can do. but given we had 5 mature eggs last time and 5 fertilised and we had 2 perfect embies, that shows that we can make good embies. i also asked about whether we could have any more tests done on dh's sperm for abnormalities and she said that we've already had all the main tests done (which were all fine) and that as he already has a child there is a very minimal chance of there being abnormalities.

phew, that was a lot to tell you....so anyway, what i was trying to say was, that i feel much better having spoken to her. on to personals....

Beachbaby – ah how cool hun, not far away at all then! You cant have been far in that case from me really….we made it there in an hour, which I don’t think is bad going at all. Hope you’re ok and not suffering too much from the floods! (oh, and thanks for wishing me good luck with the D/R test! x)

Jen1d – fantastic news about the counselling sessions. That’s great! Great as well that the clinic has started emailing you back a bit more quickly! Sounds like you’ve got really good chances. Oh, forgot to ask, when do you start counselling?? Hope the wait isn’t too bad. You said you felt selfish because its you going through the tmt and its you who carries the guilt, etc. It’s completely understandable that you feel like that and I don’t think its selfish at all!! At the end of the day, it IS you that has to go through it all and I think people forget that. Yes, everyone goes through the mental heartache as much as you (or near enough as much as you) but nobody goes through the physical side of it as much as you. So I think your so called “selfishness” is completely justified. lol....just about to post my post and then realised you'd posted. what a nightmare about the jury service, etc and ET. and how spooky about the spain thing...

Pequele – couldn’t agree with you more that its not fair that people like you have to get someone to sign and other people who can conceive naturally, don’t! its awful. I studied medical ethics as one of the modules that I was studying and I found that one of the main criticisms is that people having to go through to assisted conception or adoption are scrutinised very heavily and yet people who can conceive naturally don’t have to go through any of this. You shouldn’t have to get someone to sign a form to say they would look after the kid if something happens to you – in that case a couple before they break up (and therefore are single parents) should get this form signed too!! Ooohh, it makes me so mad. Anyway, getting closer now, you must be getting really excited!!

Jen babes – thank you so much for remembering my D/R test. its so funny as you said “ only a few more weeks till ET and then I can have a week off”….just realised that ET is week after next so I only have two more days this week, then 3 days next week (I’ve booked Thursday and Friday next week off) and then it’s EC and ET the following week!! Anyway, glad you had a good time with your surprise visitors! But sorry to hear you broke at the BBQ. Yes, it’s embarrassing but don’t worry about it. You have to let your emotions out sometimes. It is strange how sometimes it just hits us out of the blue and sometimes we can be fine. Hope you feel a bit better after that. Ooh, not long till you go now…I’m sure everything will be fine!

Aunty – hey hun, glad you found the natural IVF interesting. Is that something you could consider??? Especially, as its less money to save up, etc? just a thought. Hope you’re ok, cant see on your ticker when it is you move….would love to see pics when you have some.

Welsh – hey hun, thanks for the article….you’re right, I wont need it!! Lol. I keep looking at your ticker, 3 more days and its less than a month away then!! Woohoo!!

Hi to everyone else…hope you’re all doing ok!!

xxxxx

[shantala]

oh god, gill - sorry, how could i forget about you!! the best of luck for tomorrow hun!!! oooohhhh, how exciting!!

carolyn - great to hear from you hun. i havent pm-ed you back as i thought enough was said by me on this thread and its nice to be left alone after bad news. but sounds like you have a plan and that always helps you to re-focus. if big b isnt the next step, maybe natural ivf in that london clinic is??? anyway, grieve first and then worry about the next step. xxxxx

xxxxxxxxx

[Jen1d]

GOOD LUCK GILL

Have just sent you an email with a good luck wish. Hope all goes well. Let us know how you are from the hotel if you have time and feel ok.

Shantala - Great news, good luck with the injections tomorrow. Glad i dont have to do any of those this time

Carolyn - Glad you are here with us, take time and we will be here when your ready.

Love Jen x

[pequele]

Oh Carolyn! I have been away after I last posted (just before yours). I am soooo sorry. I can't say I know where you have been, but I can say I send you e-hugs whenever your hubby isn't around. You have been a great help to me here.

I have a question for those of you mentioning Barcelona. Do you mean Spain? Why must you go there, are there not clinics in the UK? Just not enough? I am confused.

I'm off to bed...still haven't perfected this pee on a stick thing either! Will I ever ovulate?

[LauraLou]

Carolyn,

Honey I am so so sorry. I can only imagine how devastated you must be. I am glad to hear that you are thinking of doing DE in Barcelona but that doesn't take away the pain and disappointment you are feeling now. You have been through so much in the last year. It is all so terribly unfair.

Please know that my thoughts and prayers are with you and your DH.

Laura

[Jen1d]

Hi gang

Gill - hope eveything is going ok????

Pequele - Yes its Spain. The law is different over there for couples using donors. The donor is anonomous and there is also no waiting list. They also seem to have a higher chance of success.
In the UK their is very limited donors because they changed the law in 2005 and now if a couple use a donor, the child can look for the mother when its 18yrs hense the reason nobody wants to stay in this country and use a donor. Fire away if you need to know anything else.

Carolyn - Hope your managing to feel a bit stronger. Thinking of you

Shantala - Yip, counselling is on Monday---aobut time too You are so right about others not knowing how we feel, thanks for the kind words, they really do help. How did the injection go?

So more bad news, my boy (ex-keychild J, more like a son) lost his Gran yesterday. As if that child has not been through enough troubles in his life. Then he called back to say his Grandad has just been told he has cancer Am going to see him today, feel so sad for the poor thing

Ok off into town while the sun is shining---not for long though

Love Jen x

[Welshgirl38]

Morning Ladies,

Sorry i have been away since last weekend - i was due to go back to work last Monday, but i woke up on Sunday with a sore shoulder so sore that i got no sleep on Sunday night, and sore enough for DH to take me to casualty on Monday morning.
Apparantly - the cold i had a few weeks back, has now bloody infected my musscles and joints in my right shoulder, so i cant do a sodding thing! From my elbow down im fine, but if i attempt to move my arm as high as my chin, the pain in unbearable So im on sick again! My arm isnt comfortable whichever way i position it, my kids have to help me get dressed (having to put even my bra on me as Brian is in work!) it never rains with me - it bloody pours!!
So thats why i havent been able to post much ladies, Im able to do a few exercises that the physio gave me, its painfull but has to be done! Anyway, on to personals ...

Carolyn: How u doing hun? Have just read ur posting and am glad that u have some sort of plan ahead of u. It must be really hard right now for u, and im sending u big bear hugz and sloppy kisses At least u have already heard back from Barcelona, when do u have ur review appt at the clinic? Xxxx

Gill: I assume ur already in Barcelona now Hope everything is going well for u, thinking bout ya - let us know as soon as u get back how it all went - Good Luck xxx

Jen1d: So glad to hear ur councelling is on Monday You have been thru so much lately and im glad that ur finally getting some help Sorry to hear about ur Keychild - it must be so hard for him, especially with his grandad too ... sending hugz xxxx

Shantala: Well well well - this is it then, ur starting on THE injections today So pleased everything is going to plan - wont be long for ur first scan - 3rd Aug, things seems to be moving so quickly for u and u seem much more alert this time (u know, asking more questions etc - not alert as in u were half asleep the last time lol) I think im like that this time too, u find out so much more having to do more than one go - i never knew half as much last time as i do this time. I have 2 friends - 1 going thru Clomid at the moment, and another has just been given the pill for 1 mth an then starting a short tmt when her AF comes - they are never off the phone to me asking me questions lol, as if i know everything!!! Duh lol. Sending hugz and hoping injections wernt too bad this morning for u xxx

Aunty: Have u moved in yet? Been meaning to email u but havent had a chance yet - i got ur pics of the before and after at the ranch - and it looks lovely - poor Sam and u must be shattered all that work u have been doing. Still it will be nice to get in and settled wont it ... xxxx

Nimble/Jackie: Hey hun, how u doing? Not long untill ur holiday now - i bet u cant wait. U deserve it, u enjoy ... xxx

Rachel: Shumi - How did the funeral go? Hope ur having a great time on ur hols - an i hope the weather has been good to u - its still shite here, we did have one nice day on Monday, but my shoulder was too sore to even sit out in it - i hope it perks up a bit, i cant stand it no more! Still at least we havent uffered with too many floods as England and Wales has, i do hope it hasnt effected anyone on here. Anyway, happy holidays Rach - sending u cwtches xxx

Hugs to everyone that ive missed, my arm getting sore sitting here now, so i will leave it at that .... must update the list before i go, i dont really want to - its so sad at the moment again

Love to all my lovely ladies ....

Becky Xxxx

[Welshgirl38]

JS200632......... BFP
July 3rd - Beta 780...
July 9th - Beta 6915...
July 20th - Scan - Saw perfect heartbeat.




CarolynB..3 perfect embies snuggling in - Test Date - 28th July


Lady's having treatment...



Jen1d... Started Tablets June 26 untill 6th Aug, wait for AF then start patches
Shantala... 26th July….Start Stimms…Scan 3rd Aug
Gill12... 26th July Flying to Barcelona for Doopler & Hysteroscopy

Lady's in Waiting...



Nimble/Jackie...Appt…7th Aug …. Holiday to Mauritius…. Sept
JB(Jen)...27th July - 3rd Aug in Barcelona
Rachel/Lara312... On Holiday
Geckogirl... Nov/Jan - Donor egg
AuntyPebbles... Moved into new home … 25th July
Welshgirl38/Becky... Aug AF
ShazB...Sept?
Karia …Aug AF
Melissa112... June Start Clomid
BabyBlue (Kim)…Waiting for Donor…June?
Green... July
BeachBaby …Appt Aug 7th
Charlie78... August
Nannybear...August
Sassynlv...August
Pequele...I.U.I - Oct
6Yrs (mom20)…Jan 08
Angel505... ?
Curlydoo...10th May..AF Due?..do we dance or sing?

In our thoughts and prayers

Nimble/Jackie... Very sadly lost her beautiful beanie.

[Welshgirl38]

Carolyn: I havent taken u off the 2ww hun, because ur test date is on 28th, still keeping fingers crossed for u, if u want me to move u, let me know ok .... hugz Xxxxxx

[CarolynB]

Shantala - so pleased that you get to truely start hun. Grow follies grow. Sure that they will have learnt from your first cycle and twaek things this time around for you hun

Gill - so hope that the hysteroscopy goes well for you today and that you love the clinic. Fingers crossed for you

Laura - thanks for popping by. It is kind that you have not forgotten me. The only people who can really understand this are ladies who have lived through the same nightmare - that is why the board is a godsend - and are also planning to use donors rather than their own eggs. That is why this thread is also going to be fab as I take my next tentative steps as there are a number of us in the same position. Hope that the boys are both doing well

Becky - Thanks for your consideration. Please move me on the board when you have a chance as AF is really really bad

Hugs to everyone else. At work so cannot do a full set of personals

Thanks to everyone for their continued support. Jen - thanks for the e-mails. JB - thanks for the PM. I am not in a great place as you would expect as AF is truely awful but it is very early days. I am not as bad as I could be either which is a little weird. I did get through to my clinic today and asked if I could test tomorrow rather than Saturday due to the fact that AF is well and truely here. The clinic is adamant that you cannot stop the meds until the hcg test so am still injecting heparin each night and having to wake up at 4am for the other meds. It is just adding insult to injury. They have agreed that I can so will get the call at work so will just have to get on and deal with it. At least it does mean that I will not have to carry on with all the meds and also have the whole weekend to get over things too. Plus if they call me tomorrow then may be able to get a follow up sorted rather than having to wait over the weekend. I have also booked an appointment at the gp as looks like I will need some extra tests done for Big B. My gp is away for a month - alright for some - so have just booked in with someone random. I hope that they will be symapthetic.

Proper catch up at the weekend. Will of course let you know tomorrow after I get the call but it is all over.

Love to you all.
Carolyn
xxxxxxxxxxxx

[Welshgirl38]

JS200632.........
July 3rd - Beta 780...
July 9th - Beta 6915...
July 20th - Scan - Saw perfect heartbeat.

_____________________________________________________________________________


CarolynB... Very sadly AF has arrived, BFN So very sorry - our thoughts and prayers are with you xx

_____________________________________________________________________________


Lady's having treatment...



Jen1d... Started Tablets June 26 untill 6th Aug, wait for AF then start patches
Shantala... 26th July….Start Stimms…Scan 3rd Aug
Gill12... 26th July Flying to Barcelona for Doopler & Hysteroscopy

_____________________________________________________________________________

Lady's in Waiting...



Nimble/Jackie...Appt…7th Aug …. Holiday to Mauritius…. Sept
JB(Jen)...27th July - 3rd Aug in Barcelona
Rachel/Lara312... On Holiday
Geckogirl... Nov/Jan - Donor egg
AuntyPebbles... Moved into new home … 25th July
Welshgirl38/Becky... Aug AF
ShazB...Sept?
Karia …Aug AF
Melissa112... June Start Clomid
BabyBlue (Kim)…Waiting for Donor…June?
Green... July
BeachBaby …Appt Aug 7th
Charlie78... August
Nannybear...August
Sassynlv...August
Pequele...I.U.I - Oct
6Yrs (mom20)…Jan 08
Angel505... ?
Curlydoo...10th May..AF Due?..do we dance or sing?
_____________________________________________________________________________


In our thoughts and prayers

Nimble/Jackie... Very sadly lost her beautiful beanie.
_____________________________________________________________________________

[Welshgirl38]

Carolyn:

Have done as you asked - im so sorry hun

Love, as always

Becky xxxxx