Jen
I am so sorry
just dont know what to say. Its just so unfair and cruel, you have been through so much over these last few months. Hugs to you and dh. Take care babe you know I'm here for you.
Love Gill xxx
Awaiting Treatment
Jen
I am so sorry
just dont know what to say. Its just so unfair and cruel, you have been through so much over these last few months. Hugs to you and dh. Take care babe you know I'm here for you.
Love Gill xxx
me 37 & dh, 38 ttc 9, yrs one tube removed
IVF 1,2,3,4 and 5 all BFN
[img]http://tickers.TickerFactory.com/ezt/d/4;53;104/st/20080117/e/adoption+panel+/k/ea8c/event.png[/img]
IVF 1,2,3,4 and 5 all BFN
[img]http://tickers.TickerFactory.com/ezt/d/4;53;104/st/20080117/e/adoption+panel+/k/ea8c/event.png[/img]
Dear Sweet Jen
I am so very very sorry.
This sucks beyond belief. I know that we cannot expect to be the lucky ones who get a +ve on the 1st try but you have been through so very much over the last couple of years.
It is too cruel and unfair.
You know where I am. Text, e-mail me at any time if I can help at all.
I so wish that I could take away the pain and make it right for you.
Massive hugs babe to you and your dh.
Carolyn
xxxxxxxxxxxxx
I am so very very sorry.
This sucks beyond belief. I know that we cannot expect to be the lucky ones who get a +ve on the 1st try but you have been through so very much over the last couple of years.
It is too cruel and unfair.
You know where I am. Text, e-mail me at any time if I can help at all.
I so wish that I could take away the pain and make it right for you.
Massive hugs babe to you and your dh.
Carolyn
xxxxxxxxxxxxx
Me 42, DH 52 IVF #1, #2, #3 ICSI #4 - 10.05.2006, 12.12.2006, 10.03.2007, 27.07.2007 ICSI/DE/TESA #5, #6 PGD/IVIG #7 - 24.11.2007, 27.02.2008, 23.05.2008 - 7 BFNs
Surrogacy/FET #8 - 15.10.2008 - BFP
[img]http://lb1f.lilypie.com/2iB9p1.png[/img]
Surrogacy/FET #8 - 15.10.2008 - BFP
[img]http://lb1f.lilypie.com/2iB9p1.png[/img]
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pequele
- Valued Contributor
- Posts: 1090
- Joined: Wed Jun 20, 2007 5:33 pm
- Location: freakin snowy and icy New Hampshire
Jen- I can't make really cool things happen here but
HUGS!! I'm soooooo SORRY! [/code]
HUGS!! I'm soooooo SORRY! [/code]
[img]http://dl2.glitter-graphics.net/pub/51/51082b97w96e86g.gif[/img]
[img]http://women.evenhealth.com/image/c/av786116.jpg[/img]
[img]http://bd.lilypie.com/4NObm5/.png[/img]
[img]http://tac.families.com/cb/214715.png[/img]
[img]http://women.evenhealth.com/image/c/av786116.jpg[/img]
[img]http://bd.lilypie.com/4NObm5/.png[/img]
[img]http://tac.families.com/cb/214715.png[/img]
Still in my pj's and friends have invited us round but i cant even move never mind socialise.
I feel numb and cant stop crying. I wasnt like that last time but i cant see anyway forward for us. We have 2 embies but if the best ones didnt work then neither will the last 2. It doesnt look good for us now and i feel we are at the end of the road. So much for IM having great success rates. I am being continually told, once i get good eggs then my luck will cange. Well now we have young eggs of the best quality and it still hasnt worked. If we had the money i would try every month until it worked. Its so hard seeing dh, he plods along like everything is ok as he expects the neg result now but i know he is hurting. He keeps telling me he wants me but i know he longs for a baby and i'm stopping him having that and i feel awful. I just think its a waste of time now and just want to leave this shit world, never felt like this before but i cant live with this pain all my life. Dont want to watch others in the street or people i know getting pregnant, watching bumps, having babies, feeling sorry for me and longing for a baby---there will be constant pain in my heart and i'm stopping dh moving on.
I'm so mad with IM to. I wanted a hysteroscopy but they said i didnt need one, now they say they want to do one before next ET. They should have done it last time with the doppler, like i said then they wouldnt have wasted my 2 embies.
Our only chance now is adoption but i work with the social work dept and know there are no babies and the average age is 5 years but we want a smaller child plus it takes a long time get the children. Does anyone know how to adopt in America as they have more babies and agencies over there?
Sorry to rant on but i have never felt so low through all my times of ivf and i cant see this ever working for us--------ever.
Thank you all for your support.
Love Jen x
I feel numb and cant stop crying. I wasnt like that last time but i cant see anyway forward for us. We have 2 embies but if the best ones didnt work then neither will the last 2. It doesnt look good for us now and i feel we are at the end of the road. So much for IM having great success rates. I am being continually told, once i get good eggs then my luck will cange. Well now we have young eggs of the best quality and it still hasnt worked. If we had the money i would try every month until it worked. Its so hard seeing dh, he plods along like everything is ok as he expects the neg result now but i know he is hurting. He keeps telling me he wants me but i know he longs for a baby and i'm stopping him having that and i feel awful. I just think its a waste of time now and just want to leave this shit world, never felt like this before but i cant live with this pain all my life. Dont want to watch others in the street or people i know getting pregnant, watching bumps, having babies, feeling sorry for me and longing for a baby---there will be constant pain in my heart and i'm stopping dh moving on.
I'm so mad with IM to. I wanted a hysteroscopy but they said i didnt need one, now they say they want to do one before next ET. They should have done it last time with the doppler, like i said then they wouldnt have wasted my 2 embies.
Our only chance now is adoption but i work with the social work dept and know there are no babies and the average age is 5 years but we want a smaller child plus it takes a long time get the children. Does anyone know how to adopt in America as they have more babies and agencies over there?
Sorry to rant on but i have never felt so low through all my times of ivf and i cant see this ever working for us--------ever.
Thank you all for your support.
Love Jen x
me 38 dh 38, ttc for 6yrs,
HSG - Tubes Damaged
Bilateral Salpingectomy, 16th Aug 06,
Hysteroscopy - 30th Oct 07
4 IVF - BFN, 3 ED - BFN
[img]http://ba.lilypie.com/botep1/.png[/img]
HSG - Tubes Damaged
Bilateral Salpingectomy, 16th Aug 06,
Hysteroscopy - 30th Oct 07
4 IVF - BFN, 3 ED - BFN
[img]http://ba.lilypie.com/botep1/.png[/img]
Dear Jen
Everything that you say is heartbreaking to read but completely understandable after all you have been through.
I am almost out of words to try to help. Don't go out. Stay in your pjs. Look after yourself and your dh as best you can.
You are in this together. It is not about you or him. It is so very sad that it has not worked for both of you. He wants and loves you and he knows that you have given it everything that you possibly can.
Sending you huge hugs.
You know where I am if you need me - text/e-mail - and I will try to help as best I can.
Much love
Carolyn
xxxxxxxxxx
Everything that you say is heartbreaking to read but completely understandable after all you have been through.
I am almost out of words to try to help. Don't go out. Stay in your pjs. Look after yourself and your dh as best you can.
You are in this together. It is not about you or him. It is so very sad that it has not worked for both of you. He wants and loves you and he knows that you have given it everything that you possibly can.
Sending you huge hugs.
You know where I am if you need me - text/e-mail - and I will try to help as best I can.
Much love
Carolyn
xxxxxxxxxx
Me 42, DH 52 IVF #1, #2, #3 ICSI #4 - 10.05.2006, 12.12.2006, 10.03.2007, 27.07.2007 ICSI/DE/TESA #5, #6 PGD/IVIG #7 - 24.11.2007, 27.02.2008, 23.05.2008 - 7 BFNs
Surrogacy/FET #8 - 15.10.2008 - BFP
[img]http://lb1f.lilypie.com/2iB9p1.png[/img]
Surrogacy/FET #8 - 15.10.2008 - BFP
[img]http://lb1f.lilypie.com/2iB9p1.png[/img]
how you hangin in jen??? can you feel the love and hugs just beaming your way???? 
maybe God has his own plan in mind for you and dh.......i know is SO hard to just leave it in his hands..... you want SOMEBODY to blame.....i know -- i've been there.........it's so unfair.....
just wanted you to know i was thinkin of ya
hopin' you're coming along ok..........lots of love & hugs your way 
hello to everyone else.........hope everybody had LOVELY weekend!!! was a bit gloomy and overcast in my neck of the woods......we got our boat out of the water for the season (we live on a lake) --- got it all washed and waxed and ready to store for the winter......took in a couple of good movies.....ate like MAD ---- what is it with that anyway, i can do SO GOOD all week at work (keeping what i eat in check) and then weekend comes and i think i need to catch up for what i didn't eat all week!!!! such a vicious cycle!!! am trying to lose atleast 20 lbs before next round in january ---
ta-ta for now!!
maybe God has his own plan in mind for you and dh.......i know is SO hard to just leave it in his hands..... you want SOMEBODY to blame.....i know -- i've been there.........it's so unfair.....just wanted you to know i was thinkin of ya
hopin' you're coming along ok..........lots of love & hugs your way hello to everyone else.........hope everybody had LOVELY weekend!!! was a bit gloomy and overcast in my neck of the woods......we got our boat out of the water for the season (we live on a lake) --- got it all washed and waxed and ready to store for the winter......took in a couple of good movies.....ate like MAD ---- what is it with that anyway, i can do SO GOOD all week at work (keeping what i eat in check) and then weekend comes and i think i need to catch up for what i didn't eat all week!!!! such a vicious cycle!!! am trying to lose atleast 20 lbs before next round in january ---
ta-ta for now!!
:-) Angie
Hi
Well that firm email to IM must have worked as Dr Guix just rang. She said its our decision about having a hysteroscopy or ET but they would advise to check everything out first. She said our embies are good and wouldnt have been frozen if they werent good grade or developing well so i must keep positive hahaha. Got upset on the phone and she was trying to encourage us to get checked first then go for ET. She said there is nothing that they can see stopping me getting pregnant, i have just been unlucky----------bloody understatement.
Feel so sad and unhappy, cant get motivated to move on this time.
Thanks for all your kindness and hugs
Jen x
Well that firm email to IM must have worked as Dr Guix just rang. She said its our decision about having a hysteroscopy or ET but they would advise to check everything out first. She said our embies are good and wouldnt have been frozen if they werent good grade or developing well so i must keep positive hahaha. Got upset on the phone and she was trying to encourage us to get checked first then go for ET. She said there is nothing that they can see stopping me getting pregnant, i have just been unlucky----------bloody understatement.
Feel so sad and unhappy, cant get motivated to move on this time.
Thanks for all your kindness and hugs
Jen x
me 38 dh 38, ttc for 6yrs,
HSG - Tubes Damaged
Bilateral Salpingectomy, 16th Aug 06,
Hysteroscopy - 30th Oct 07
4 IVF - BFN, 3 ED - BFN
[img]http://ba.lilypie.com/botep1/.png[/img]
HSG - Tubes Damaged
Bilateral Salpingectomy, 16th Aug 06,
Hysteroscopy - 30th Oct 07
4 IVF - BFN, 3 ED - BFN
[img]http://ba.lilypie.com/botep1/.png[/img]
Oh Jen, It really saddens me to hear everything you are feeling. I could totally relate to every word you wrote on Sat as I feel the same, I thought I was doing ok and trying to move forward, but just feel so low, there just seems to be a brick wall not letting me look forward to my future, like you, DH is very very supportive, but is happily plodding on like he is coping and seems to care only about me, I feel self centered and out of control of my feelings, I feel like I am crumbling inside, and all I can see everywhere is women with babies, or expecting babies like it is the most normal thing in the world! Deep sigh!!! I am feeling all this after just my second go and you have been through so so so much more, it's just so cruel and unfair...have you thought about counselling? I think it may be just as important as having a hysteroscopy...you want to be in the most positive frame of mind before you consider another ET, the last thing you want is to expect the worse to happen, because then it more than likely will. Also please continue to rant here if you need to..or PM me I don't mind, it's better out than in. You know we are strong women, you are a strong women, you've been though so much already, and although it doesn't feel like it now, you will move forward. You have so much patience...you have to have patience to get through one ivf cycle, let alone everything you have been through...take some time, just be, and when your head is feeling clearer then think about another ET. In the meantime don't put yourself under pressure and take some time and focus your energy on something else.
I hope you don't mind my advise, I just really really feel for you right now, esp as I feel much the same.
Take care
Nerms
x
I hope you don't mind my advise, I just really really feel for you right now, esp as I feel much the same.
Take care
Nerms
x
Me 33: DH 33
1st IVF..sadly didn't work...BFN
2nd IVF..another BFN
1st IVF..sadly didn't work...BFN
2nd IVF..another BFN
Nerms
Thanks for your kind works. Dont know what i would do without you lovely girls to chat to, you really are the only ones who understand.
I never thought i would be sitting here 2 years on with a list of fails by my name and i dont know where i get the strength to go on but hopefully it will come back soon. Cant seem to pull myself to do anything and just feel exausted.
We try to have counselling but our hospital only has one counsellor and she is only there one day a week. We saw her a month ago and cant get another appointment until the beginning of Nov, its just disgusting. Even my Dr, who is brilliant cant get us any more help.
Know what you mean about the other women. I have to pop out tomorrow and i just want to be at home so i see nobody. Everyone else seems to be pushing a pram or have a bump---it all looks so easy, why cant it be for us girls.
You take care of yourself and thanks for thinking of me.
Love Jen x
Thanks for your kind works. Dont know what i would do without you lovely girls to chat to, you really are the only ones who understand.
I never thought i would be sitting here 2 years on with a list of fails by my name and i dont know where i get the strength to go on but hopefully it will come back soon. Cant seem to pull myself to do anything and just feel exausted.
We try to have counselling but our hospital only has one counsellor and she is only there one day a week. We saw her a month ago and cant get another appointment until the beginning of Nov, its just disgusting. Even my Dr, who is brilliant cant get us any more help.
Know what you mean about the other women. I have to pop out tomorrow and i just want to be at home so i see nobody. Everyone else seems to be pushing a pram or have a bump---it all looks so easy, why cant it be for us girls.
You take care of yourself and thanks for thinking of me.
Love Jen x
me 38 dh 38, ttc for 6yrs,
HSG - Tubes Damaged
Bilateral Salpingectomy, 16th Aug 06,
Hysteroscopy - 30th Oct 07
4 IVF - BFN, 3 ED - BFN
[img]http://ba.lilypie.com/botep1/.png[/img]
HSG - Tubes Damaged
Bilateral Salpingectomy, 16th Aug 06,
Hysteroscopy - 30th Oct 07
4 IVF - BFN, 3 ED - BFN
[img]http://ba.lilypie.com/botep1/.png[/img]
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wishfull27
- Valued Contributor
- Posts: 1580
- Joined: Mon Jul 23, 2007 8:01 pm
- Location: UK
Hi Guys
Sorry been MIA for a couple of weeks - have kept reading posts but not felt ready to really join in again
Jen - my thoughts are with you anfd Dh I know nothing anyone says can make it easier but knowing that everyone is thinking of you must help a tiny tad
there is so much going on on this thread as well its so difficult to keep up - LOL - either that or everyone else has alot more spare time then me and thats not fair
Had a horrible day on saturday went to friends who had jhust had first baby and the two Dh's went to pub to watch footy and managed to wangle rugby as well - good old Johnny !! - i was left with new mother who proceeded to tell me the joys of motherhood - how its the best thing ever.. don't know what i am missing etc etc .. i just bit my tongue and nodded in the right places .... if only she knew .. insensitive b**** 
Not only was Dh out of his face on drive home he also had to deal with very upset me - he did a lot of creeping yesterday - even with a hangover - why is life so unfair????
Enough of my moans - you just have to get these things off your chest and to people who understand - thanks guysx
We have appointment with Re on wednesday morning to sort out next lot of treatment - hopefully from novemebr AF - need my holiday first
Will try and catch up tom with personals
Love to all and thanks for listening to my rant!
carolyn x
Sorry been MIA for a couple of weeks - have kept reading posts but not felt ready to really join in again
Jen - my thoughts are with you anfd Dh I know nothing anyone says can make it easier but knowing that everyone is thinking of you must help a tiny tad
there is so much going on on this thread as well its so difficult to keep up - LOL - either that or everyone else has alot more spare time then me and thats not fair
Had a horrible day on saturday went to friends who had jhust had first baby and the two Dh's went to pub to watch footy and managed to wangle rugby as well - good old Johnny
!! - i was left with new mother who proceeded to tell me the joys of motherhood - how its the best thing ever.. don't know what i am missing etc etc .. i just bit my tongue and nodded in the right places .... if only she knew .. insensitive b**** Not only was Dh out of his face on drive home he also had to deal with very upset me - he did a lot of creeping yesterday - even with a hangover - why is life so unfair????
Enough of my moans - you just have to get these things off your chest and to people who understand - thanks guysx
We have appointment with Re on wednesday morning to sort out next lot of treatment - hopefully from novemebr AF - need my holiday first
Will try and catch up tom with personals
Love to all and thanks for listening to my rant!
carolyn x
IVF 4 BFP
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pequele
- Valued Contributor
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- Joined: Wed Jun 20, 2007 5:33 pm
- Location: freakin snowy and icy New Hampshire
hi yas! just a quick update (been a long day shopping with one of my girlfriends today ) I'm going in for IUI #2 tomorrow! I believe I have gotten my surge beginning today!! Hoping I'm not jumping the gun and reading into it just because I feel so crunched for time!
Need to cut tags off the new clothes and wash them...hopefully I get too fat with baby belly to wear them long!!!
Steph
) I'm going in for IUI #2 tomorrow! I believe I have gotten my surge beginning today!! Hoping I'm not jumping the gun and reading into it just because I feel so crunched for time! Need to cut tags off the new clothes and wash them...hopefully I get too fat with baby belly to wear them long!!!
Steph
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The Beckster
- Newbie
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- Joined: Tue Oct 16, 2007 10:02 am
Ladies,
Tis me - The Beckster! New name im afraid cos too much crap with the other one Been spending the last day or so deleating all my messages from the board - still have about another 700 odd to go too (all the fuss to become a valued contributer too 
) Im gutted ive had to do it, my messages are really important to me - but so obvisouly is DH - he is devastated about wot's happened and is finding it really hard, even tho we are on speaking terms, this has hit us hard and im still trying to get back up from it - so hence my allias name - im sorry to mess u about, and i will try to get my messages back up and running as soon as poss - i will become a vauled thingie again lol .....
Hope ur all well ladies, sending u all my love as always
Love Me Xxxxx
Tis me - The Beckster! New name im afraid cos too much crap with the other one
Been spending the last day or so deleating all my messages from the board - still have about another 700 odd to go too (all the fuss to become a valued contributer too ) Im gutted ive had to do it, my messages are really important to me - but so obvisouly is DH - he is devastated about wot's happened and is finding it really hard, even tho we are on speaking terms, this has hit us hard and im still trying to get back up from it - so hence my allias name - im sorry to mess u about, and i will try to get my messages back up and running as soon as poss - i will become a vauled thingie again lol .....Hope ur all well ladies, sending u all my love as always
Love Me Xxxxx
aawwww beckster ---- you're back!!! and who cares about that valued contributor "thingy" ---- we all already know that you're one of the most valuable "thingy's" out here i figured is what you must be doing as i saw a couple of older posts that showed as being edited (GONE)..... maybe it was meant to be to work out this way.....ya just never know!! GLAD TO HAVE YOU BACK!
jen1 --- sounds like you're hangin' in there babe take your time.....and when you're ready ---- we are hear to listen and help support your next plan of action
peq --- YFH!!!! (a little saying we use at work as to not offend those who dislike 4-letter words!!
....also got my MOTHER using it.................. YEE-F*&#@ING-HA!!!) GREAT NEWS ON IUI 
hope all goes well this time around............so - starting today you're a 2ww'er again?? when you testing???? let us know......we gotta keep track of our girls!!
wishful --- glad you're back in the saddle hope appt w/ re goes as planned........i actually thought our "what next" appt w/ re was VERY helpful ---- for me anyway.......just kinda helped close one chapter and give hope for the next
OK --- question for all you ladies of the UK..........is DONNIE OSMOND really as big of deal over there as the Entertainment Tonight program makes him out to be??????? They show him as being somewhat of a music "icon" --- where all the girls just drool over him
One of my (many) guilty pleasures is all those entertainment/tabloid programs (and people magazine!) so as i was trucking along on my treadmill last night (woo-hoo for me!!) and this whole bit came on about donnie osmond -- just made me chuckle a bit! i think he is riding on sis's (marie) shirt-tales right now because of her new-found-fame on Dancing with the Stars (and lets not forget her being spokeswoman for Jenny Craig weight loss stuff )......things that make you go hmmmmmmm!!!! have a lovely day ladies......
Hi to any/all others i missed!!
i figured is what you must be doing as i saw a couple of older posts that showed as being edited (GONE)..... maybe it was meant to be to work out this way.....ya just never know!! GLAD TO HAVE YOU BACK! jen1 --- sounds like you're hangin' in there babe
take your time.....and when you're ready ---- we are hear to listen and help support your next plan of action peq --- YFH!!!! (a little saying we use at work as to not offend those who dislike 4-letter words!!
....also got my MOTHER using it.................. YEE-F*&#@ING-HA!!!) GREAT NEWS ON IUI hope all goes well this time around............so - starting today you're a 2ww'er again?? when you testing???? let us know......we gotta keep track of our girls!! wishful --- glad you're back in the saddle
hope appt w/ re goes as planned........i actually thought our "what next" appt w/ re was VERY helpful ---- for me anyway.......just kinda helped close one chapter and give hope for the next OK --- question for all you ladies of the UK..........is DONNIE OSMOND really as big of deal over there as the Entertainment Tonight program makes him out to be??????? They show him as being somewhat of a music "icon" --- where all the girls just drool over him
One of my (many) guilty pleasures is all those entertainment/tabloid programs (and people magazine!) so as i was trucking along on my treadmill last night (woo-hoo for me!!) and this whole bit came on about donnie osmond -- just made me chuckle a bit! i think he is riding on sis's (marie) shirt-tales right now because of her new-found-fame on Dancing with the Stars (and lets not forget her being spokeswoman for Jenny Craig weight loss stuff )......things that make you go hmmmmmmm!!!! have a lovely day ladies......Hi to any/all others i missed!!
:-) Angie