Double Trouble

[DianeC]

Hi all

Kim - I agree on the different cribs. We worked out very early on that our two were much better off in seperate cribs. For starters they slept longer as they did not wake each other up which meant they slept longer. Even if I keep them in the same room during the day, there is a bigger chance they will wake each other. Bronte sleeps in out room during the day for this reason.

We have noticed that our two self settle themselves alot these days especially of a night time. It is not unusual for one of the babies to wake and coo for a small time in the wee hours but they put themselves back to sleep - something they would not have done 6 weeks ago!

I agree Kim, the babies are on full throttle at the moment Lots of talking, moving, grabbing and batting. Harry has leanrt to blow rasberries - won't tell who taught him He is so funny as he has not quite mastered it but tries often even whilst drinking his bottle. Hopefully he will not try doing it when eating his food

Cheers Di

[kholtan]

Good Morning everyone!

I'm so glad that everyone has babies on the mend! It's such a bummer to hear about the little ones all stuffed up with colds and such and I'm sure they hate it as well. Hopefully they will all stay well throughout cold and flu season. Our babes haven't been ill yet and I am praying they don't since the flu is horrid over here right now. Keeping my fingers crossed for us all!

The babies did great last night! It was the first night ever that they both went down every time w/o any crying. They slept 5 hours sraight then I had to wake one, then 2.3 hours and I had to wake one, and then they were up for an hour and just went down for their nap. All without a single cry!!!! YEAH!!!! Of course they cried when they woke up but this mornign she woke up w/o crying as well. I hope it's a sign that they are getting on their schedule more naturally instead of so forced.

It's obvious that their problem is being over tired but they can really fight sleep. Yesterday they had GREAT morning and early afternoon naps but he cried for the entire late afternoon nap. It was so sad but I have decided that I cannot to go in at all anymore if I know they are changed and fed. I can see them from the doorway and they cannot see me so at least I know they are fine. If I go in once they seem to just keep whaling until I return and they almost instantly quiet down when I touch them. It's so hard to do but the checking on them just wasn't working.

Wish us luck today! Let's hope they keep it up!

Have a great day everyone! I better shower while I can!
Kimberly

[Malinka]

Girls I have a question for you, I am currently looking for a live in nanny to help me out because I am planning to start working from home couple months after I give birth + I guess I would need some extra help. My mom will help me out and my DH, but I don't want them to get exausted from helping me out at night. Anyways, I am freaking out about having a stranger living in my house and reading your posts it seems how do I put it, not easy, but at least managable to carry for twins on your own. Do you get some help or was it just you alone from the very beginning? I just need to make a decision pretty soon but I don't know what to do about babysitter. HELP

[buckeyegal]

Malinka, I did have help nearly every day for about 8 weeks. I'm not sure that I actually needed help that long, but we have a lot of family in town who WANTED to help...so I kind of became dependent on it. I was also bfing then as well, so it DID make my life easier to have another set of hands around while I was feeding. However, once I stopped bfing, I really was able to do things on my own. Of course, it's nice to have some help so you can go to the grocery or, in your case, get work done. Right now, I work part time every day. My mom and dad come to babysit 3 of those days. THe other days I take them to a sitter. It's totally doable. I am a pretty organized (aka "anal") person, so once I got a routine, it helped things go pretty smoothly.

I have a friend who had twins 6 weeks ago, and she was totally on her own after 3 weeks. She bottle feeds, so that does make things a little easier in some ways.

Early on, twins can be a challenge. HOwever, after about 2 months, they do tend to be a little "easier" to take care of. So, maybe you'll feel better about things once your babies are a bit older? Don't stress yourself about it right now, though. You need to concentrate on being a healthy incubator for those buns in the oven. Good luck!

[kholtan]

Malinka~
Everyone is so different and you really have to try to guage your own needs as well as the babies needs. For me, I have never had any help other than dh and LOVED the first six weeks and thought it was rather pleasant and relaxing. I found that b-feeding made life easier for me since I had no bottles to mess with or clean up and have ready for the next feeding. I have always bfed the babies at the same time and that had made it so much easier. The double pillow is my best friend!

I am still b-feeding and have just recently added a couple ounces of formula at night to help them sleep longer. Things got hairy around here when they hit their due date. That is when my nights got more tiresome and draining but still doable on my own. I just simply have always preferred doing it by myself. I love company and people to visit the babies but found the "help" not helpful at all. I also do things to make my life easier though like having dinners for the month made all at once and frozen. Then all I have to keep up on at the grocery is the milk, eggs and bread sort of stuff.

As far as a nanny goes. . . I nannied while in college for 9 years! LOVED IT!!!!! I didn't live in more than the first year because I just need my home to be ran my way but many girls love living in. We would get a nanny if I went back to work as well. It's a great way to have one on one care and they become like family. Also, most nannies will do side work like grocery shop, clean, cook or whatever you ask them to do. I always worked for super wealthy families that had cooks and house keepers but most nannies are required to do something extra. Not to mention that it would probably be equal to a daycare in cost and you would have way more benefits. I would be happy to answer any questions you have or help you with the interview process as well as what to expect. Nannies are fabulous if you need childcare and most of the time they really bond with your children and love them.

Not all nannies live in either if you don't think you can do that. Call a reputable agency and read some possible resumes. An agency will always have the more experienced nannies that treat it like a business and have an education in children as well. Also, know that it is your right to be able to do a complete background check on them and I highly suggest it. Even the sweetest girls can be a thief.

Like I said, we are all so different and our babies are as well. You will know what you need in time and don't put too much pressure on yourself now. My local twin moms group had a list of great resources for childcare for twins that many of the moms here use. Good luck to you because I know how important this is for any mom.

As for us. . .I am all smiles because I just put my babies down and they only cried for a few minutes!!!! I love these little milestones!!!!

Have a great night everyone!
Take care~
Kimberly

[leahbusani]

my question is to all mom who took their babies home after the hospital. how were your first month dealing with twins especialy at night? how long did they sleep at night ? how often do they eat? because iam so scared that i wont be able to handle it.

[buckeyegal]

Kimberlyl--great advice! You are so lucky to be able to bf two at the same time. I tried, and that seemed to be my downfall. That's when the horrible pain started!

Malinka-- I do think a lot of our experiences depend on how close to "term" our babies are. If your babies are born pretty early, then they will be sleepier/easier early on. Mine seemed pretty good tempered, but feeding was really hard on me. I wanted to exclusively bf, but the pediatrician wanted them supplemented (and he wanted them eating every 3 hours!). So, I would bf one baby, then hand him/her off to my helper to supplement while I bfed the other. It was very complicated and time consuming. If I could have just bfed, I think it would have been easier to do on my own. So, that's why I say don't stress too much about it right now. It's all going to depend on what your own situation is. My friend's ped. told her it was okay to go 4-4 1/2 hours between feeds, so it's more managable for her.

leah--When are your babies due? Don't stress out yet! LIke I said, everyone has a different situation, so you can't really plan until your babies are actually here. But, that being said, mine ate about every 3 hours. At night, they could go about 4 hours (after they were a couple weeks old). Most of the day, they slept. So, other than feeding time, I was able to get some little catnaps. The first two months were harder for me, but after that, things got a LOT easier. At 11 weeks, mine started sleeping through the night, which was HEAVEN!!!!



Good luck to you. Don't be scared. It really is a great thing to have twins! and it DOES get easier.

[leahbusani]

thanks buckeyegal iam now Thank G-d almost 5month pregnant. everyone keeps telling me how hard it will be and that i should be ready and they freak me out. i don't have my family with me they are in a different country and i live by my in-laws for almost 2 and a half years untill we can save up and buy our own appt. so i guess ill be staying by them even after i give birth G-d willing. they can't help me much because they are not home most of the day and my sisters in law one is learning in collage and working and the other one is 15 years old she can't help much. and i have another sister in law but she has her own family with 2 kids. so i guess ill only have my hubby to help me. so i hope everything will work ou. and i can't wait till these babies come out healthy and well and i can hold them in my arms. Good luck to you all.

[Malinka]

Thanks girls for sharing w me, I have to make a decision in a month, so we will see.

Kimberly thanks a lot for offering a help in interview questions, I will defenitelly use it:)

[srlegaspi]

Hi! I am new to this thread...just found out we are having twins. I am a bit worried though because we went in for 6 week ultrasound today and one is right on schedule (heard the heartbeat @ 108 bpm) but the other one is behind. He/she is measuring at 5 weeks and we couldn't see or hear the heartbeat. Has this ever happened to anyone that had a successful twin delivery?

[LauraLou]

Srlegaspi- My babies both measured small and they are happy, healthy 6 month olds! It could be that your second twin implanted late. That's what mine did and they were measuring a week behind at 6 weeks. By the 7 weeks sono, we could see both their heartbeats. If your little one has grown by the your next sono, he will probably be just fine!

Malinka- My mother came and stayed with us for the first 12 weeks. I don't think I could have managed without her!

My babies were early and small (35 weeeks and 4 lbs). So per doctor's orders, they had to eat every 3 hrs around the clock. They were slow eaters so it took 1 1/2 hrs to feed and change both of them. Then you only had 1 1/2 hrs before you had to start all over again. We both fed them during the day and then I did the 11:00pm and 2:00am feedings and she did the 5:00am and 8:00am feedings. That way we each got 6 hrs in a row to sleep.

Even with her help, I was exhausted most of the time. I don't do well on less than 8-9 hrs of sleep. Then about 11 weeks, they started sleeping thru the nite. I was the happiest person alive the first time they slept all nite. It was perfect timing as my mother had to return home the next week.

Once the boys and I were all getting a good nite's sleep, it was easy to take of both of them myself. My DH travels out of town every week from Mon-Thurs, so it's just the boys and me most of the time. We get along fine. I put them to bed at 7:30 every night, so I have some time to myself.

You know yourself best, are you someone who likes to do things yourself or do you prefer help? I knew as soon as I found out that I was having twins that I would need help. But others prefer to do things their way and find extra hands more bother than help. It really depends on you!

[srlegaspi]

Thanks for the support! I will feel better after next week!

[kholtan]

srlegaspi~ Don't fret about the babies not measuring the same. Mine measured different almost the entire time and are both healthy and happy as well. Also, some people see the hb earlier but my Re told me not to worry if I didn't see it before 7 weeks. The funny thing is my twins were different the entire pregnancy and now tehy are exactly the same at every check up. Go figure! Good luck and we are super thrilled to have another twin mommy!!!! Congrats!!!

Leahbusani~ Don't worry! It is a hand full but very mangable. My twins were 6 weeks early and after a 2.5 weeks stay in the NICU were very scheduled feeders every 3 hours. I just tandem bfed them and kept them together on most all things if I could. Some days get harrier than others but when they are sleepy it's easier for sure. Now at almost 11 weeks, we are still a little random at night. They usually go 3-5 hours on the first stretch and then every 2.5 to 3 hours after that. We are trying to do better but all in time. Like I have said, I preferred no help but that is me. I will admit that I am a very energetic person that doesn't need a whole lot of sleep so perhaps that made a difference for me? There were nights I had to just put them down and let them cry it out for a bit before I gave it more effort in the beginning but overall the first six weeks were so much easier than right now for me. Good luck to you and know it will be the sweetest days no matter how crazy!

Malinka~ Keep us posted on what you decide. I'm glad to help and if you want to call me I'd be glad to help you with the nanny stuff! It was the best job I ever had other than the one I have now!

Kim~ At almost 11 weeks, the babies still randomly blister my nipples! OUCH!!! They have never been great at nursing efficiently so they sometimes kill me! My RE said that they will grow out of it but there isn't a whole lot I can do to stop it since they will eventually figure out that when they do it right they get more milk. I hope they figure it out soon.

Better finish some household stuff before they wake. Time is precious!

Take care everyone!
Kimberly

[leahbusani]

thanks kholtan for the advice. iam also a person who doesn't like to ask for help and like to do things myself and my way and when everyone tells me "oh youll need help. its going to be hard and how are you going to do it yourself " but ill show them that i can do it by myself and yes if ill need help, real help then ill ask but i think and as i know myself i can do it myself and i also like to do things my way and not everyone telling me what to do. but G-d willing ill be ok. how do you do the nursing thing isn't it hard? i hope ill be able to do it too and be strong about it and not give up fast. do you nurse at night also or do you give a bottle?

srlegaspi its so weird because they never measured my babies heart beat and iam almost 5 month pregnant and i always ask my doctor when will we hear the heart beat and he told me its to early and that we wont hear it good and we just never measured it. the Doc. said only at week 24 they will measure the heart beat. and about the size of the babies my babies are also like a week apart and i asked my doctor and she said its normal and that its always that one baby will be smaller then the other and thank G-d they are looking good so as long as they are growing its ok. so don't worry be happy. try to enjoy the pregnancy and make the best out of it. Good luck


Good luck to all

[kholtan]

Leahbusani~
Nursing the babies has been pretty easy for me luckily. I solely nurse them and only recently started to give them 2-3 cc's of formula right before bedtime. It seems ot help make them sleepy.

At home I have the double nursing pillow and coudn't do it w/o that thing. I found that regular pillows just moved too much and didn't support the babies well enough. Also, when I am out in public and they need to eat I try to always have formula and water in my diaper bag just in case I can't nurse them somewhere. I lOVE nursing my little ones but a lot of mothers of twins didn't enjoy it so don't be disappointed if it doesn't work out. I kind of went into it with the attitude that I would make it work no matter what but always knew if they needed formula I would be perfectly fine with it. After all, their health is most important overall. I've been lucky and other than some sore nipples it works great for us.

Most mothers still pump but for me pumping was a huge failure. I couldn't keep my milk up enough to feed 8 times a day and pump 8 times a day. I felt like I was barely keeping pace and it took way too much time. Plus, the bottles and equiptment were a pain to keep clean while caring for the babies as well. I can see how pumping would help a ton but it didn't work for me.

Your babies will also let you know what they need. In the beginning I was taking my breastmilk and adding calories to it to help them gain weight in the NICU. I did this for about 4 weeks. Good luck and oddly enough it will just work out perfectly for you no matter what we all did.

Once again, Annelise has been crying for 20 minutes trying to go down for her nap. These kids can really sock it to me. Sleeping is our biggest challenge here for sure!

Take care~
Kimberly