Hi girls
Told work last night that i was staying off and still in my dressing gown. Just dont have the energy to do anything and just lay on the bed and had a good cry. Dh is fantastic, i keep asking if he is ok but he just keeps saying he only wants me and if we have a baby---whatever way---then its a bonus. After the first 2 cycles he never got his hopes up and we just plodded along throught the last 2 2ww's expecting the same neg result. My mum just tx and asked if i was feeling better today and if i was in work---poor thing she just got told that its going to take more than 2 days to get over the news of never being able to have children----not her fault eh.
I feel angry now to,
angry with IM,
angry for dh
angry with other pregnant people,
angry i will have to go through life always trying to live with this pain,
angry at anyone who tells me they are pregnant,
angry with anyone who moans at their kids,
angry with the crap 14yr olds who get pregnant,
angry with the druggies/alcoholics who get pregnant,
the list goes on and on----------but mainly angry with my body, which has let me down for years.
How do i move on and learn to accept it. There will be pregnant people around until the day i die, do i have to feel sad and have others pity me when they break their news to me. I keep thinking that i wont see our child, what would it look like, would it like the same things as us. Then i think about an adoped child and know we can bond and give the same love but worry it will go and look for its parents and not stay with us or that people treat us 'not as proper parents' as i havent given birth and its not our biological child. God my head is all over the place.
Sorry girls, know you are all having probs of your own but i just cant get a grip. Its strange as i thought i was so calm in the 2ww and that i was prepared but i think its because we are at the end of the road. I always knew we would be one of the couples who had a list at the end of their name and were in the % of it never working----i said that to dh from the start.
So after my selfish rant---i hope you are all feeling better than me and thank you for being there to support me not just on this cycle but through them all. You are the only people who truly know how me and dh are feeling. Others just take pregnancy for granted and they dont know how lucky they are.
Have to go and get dressed and put on a face as the social worker is coming over at 4pm.
Speak soon
Love Jen x
he's a keeper). I teach this interviewing stuff and resume stuff at a university here... If your references are impressive keep them on the resume, if not you can not list them. Order something easy to eat that you don't have to chew long. cobb salads are good, no sandwiches (messy). Pick something healthy. DOn;t talk with your mouth full. It is like a first date 
