November 2008 mommies, come join the fun!!!

[PMApsy]

I just came back from the hospital; I have been hospitalized since Wednesday. In fact, the terrible pain began right after I sent my last email that day. I was in so much pain that I asked a neighbor to drive me to the ER. I will spare you the details, but with the state of health care in Quebec... it was like being treated in a third world country. I spent my first night in the ER corridor with an average of five visitors right in front of my stretcher, I was screaming, panicking and crying because of the pain and because the nurse who was taking care of me had 12 patients to take care of alone, and she couldn't find my file so she couldn't give my pain meds, which had been due for up to two hours. At some point I just told my husband that I wanted to die and I was begging my baby to just come out of it was going to anyway. And that was just the first 12 hours! Anyway.

During those five days, we alternated a lot between losing every hope and just knowing that your child was hanging on. And then Friday morning, given the events of the night (bleeding huge clots, lots of pain the evening before) and the fact that the beta had dropped by 2000, we lost all hope. I cried a lot. And then in the late afternoon... a miracle! We found a heartbeat!!! Then I was told that, because we had a heartbeat, the chances of a miscarriage had dropped to 5%. Since then, the beta is flying sky high, adding about 10 000 each day. This morning, the beta was around 31 000, which is right on track. We even had a courtesy ultrasound and we saw our beanie (DH was there this time) and the heartbeat. The yolk sac is right in the middle of my uterus, couldn't be more centered (bull's eye!!!!). Its shape is nothing short perfect. I just can't get that image out of my head and it feels... truly amazing.

We're not out of the woods yet. It seems like the bleeding is going to stop, but. They still don't know what happened exactly. The fact that I had a new gynecologist every day (those who were on call each day) didn't help, even if they were all very nice. My damaged tubes were already filled with liquid before transfer. The right tube was swelled to 5 cms then. This morning, it measured 9 cms. This is not an exact science, but I can tell you that it's very big. Given that everything is stuck together in there because of my surgeries and the 2003 infection, the moment my uterus contracts or something moves, everything pulls and it hurts. Plus they found a hemorragic quality to the right tube, so it might be bleeding or leaking into my abdomen, which would explain the burning, constant pain I have at times at varying degrees (which is similar to the post-ER pain, but 100 times worse sometimes). They did find a small hematoma around the sac during the second u/s, which might explain part of the bleeding. Another hypothesis is that I lost a twin.

Another hypothesis is that I have a heterotopic pregnancy (one baby in my uterus, another in the tube). However, with today's ultrasound... we saw the heartbeat so clearly, and the tube was just filled with liquid; we didn't see any heartbeat in there. So... I'm hoping it's just swelled with liquid and leaking and bleeding a little.

My pain finally subsided, and so did the bleeding. I feel the occasional tugging and burning pain, but it's very dull and I just try to ignore it. They finally let me go this afternoon. I have my official u/s at the clinic on Tuesday as planned. It will be my doctor, who knows me, and I had my hospital chart photocopied. So we'll really look at things, we won't be in a rush, hopefully I won't be in pain and then we can discuss our plan of action. Plus, I'll have him print a photo of my beanie so I can share it with friends and family members... who were really scared these past few days.

So far, the doctors told me to take my week off and really take it easy. We're obviously forbidden to have sex until the end of the first trimester. Flamenco is also over for now; I was also forbidden to do aquagym or prenatal yoga (*CRIES*). I'll be allowed to walk, though, phew! Truth is... I give that away with pleasure and ease. My child survived through the worst storm, I was there with him or her all the time, and I'll stay there in every way I can. It's amazingly easy!

Other than that, I'm recuperating from my hospital stay. I am quite tired and my tummy feels funny... I think it's either a little bug I caught at the hospital or just the after effects of all the anxiety I went through. I am to run to the ER if I feel that much pain again, for that bad tube condition could threaten my life, one doctor said (has to be confirmed by my doctor). My father's hypothesis (he's a cardiologist and his wife is a surgeon) is that the tube might eventually swell so much with liquid that it will just tear in one place and/or leak into my abdomen. That would cause me to go through a rough 12-24 hours (post-ER pain times 10), but then the liquid would be re-absorbed and I would be fine.

But despite all that, I keep in mind what we saw on the monitor a few hours ago and that image is the most reliable data we can get. Our baby is alive, growing, and it's hanging on. It's a fighter like his or her mom.

Okay, enough babbling... let me review your info and update the list, and then I'm outta here!

Lots of love and hugs,

Sophie

[PMApsy]

Due dates

Emma is due November 3rd with one little beanie!
Sage is due November 3rd!
Amy is due November 4th!
Pincushion is due November 4th!
Ana is due November 5th!
Joanie is due November 5th!
Laurel is due November 5th!
Sophie is due November 9th with one strong little fighter!
Kathleen is due November 10th! TWINS ALERT!!! :D
Lola is due ???
Jennifer is due ???
kmpfoley is due November ??
kerpupples is due November ??
doodah66 is due November ??

Ultrasounds and medical appointments

Sage ultrasound on March 11th result??
Kathleen next ultrasound on March ??th
Joanie ultrasound on March 24th
Amy ultrasound on March 14th result?
Jennifer ultrasound on March 17th
Laurel ultrasound on March 18th
Ana ultrasound on March 18th
Lola ultrasound on March 18th
Sophie ultrasound on March 18th; 1 healthy heartbeat!!
Emma ultrasound on March 20th
Pincushion ultrasound on March 25th
doodah66 ultrasound on March 26th
kerpupples ultrasound on March ??th
kmpfoley ultrasound on March ??th

[joanie74]

Sophie,

That is great news. All of our prayers worked and will continue to work for everyone. I am so excited for you.

Oh and the list is awesome.

Joanie

[doodah66]

OMG Sophie. You've been through so much. I absolutely can't imagine. Again, you've got a super strong little one in there!!! It's meant to be. I can't wait to hear how your u/s goes on Tuesday.

Lola. I have a confession. You absolutely cracked me up when I first read your post where you mentioned your "compulsive knicker checking"! That was just too hysterical. I've done the same thing ever since ET, but since I read your post last week, it now it has a name! What's really cute is that we don't call them knickers down here. I love the term "knicker checking". You're just too adorable. I think about you every time I go to the bathroom.

My u/s seems soooooo far away. It isn't until middle of next week. I'm really looking forward to hearing how everyone's u/s's go this week. Best of luck to you all !!!!!!!!!

P.S. Sophie, if I calculated my due date correctly it should be Nov 7.

Everyone have a great week!


Kristy

[doodah66]

Forgot to mention....

Sophie I love the list with all of our dates !!!! Thanks for keeping up with it all.


Kristy

[Xrayem]

Hi guys,

Sophie - what a rough week you've had! But great news about beanie! Hang on to that vision on the screen....you may need it when the morning sickness kicks in.

I have had 3 days of seasickness. I can't believe I forgot how awful this feels. I know its all worth it but man I feel rotten. Its tough trying to change two wriggling babies bottoms at 6am when you feel like you drank a whole bottle of Vodka alone the night before! My sister has been great and when she gets up later she always tells me that I should have woken her to help but I'm reserving that for the days I feel really bad! I started dry-reaching this morning - something I did daily with the twins.

Oh well. Its 9:15pm and I should be in bed. How exciting my nightlife is these days!!!!

Em

[Xrayem]

Oh BTW Pincushion - I am also booking into the Mater Private. I am seeing David Lingard - he was my IVF specialist and my Obst with the Twins. So I guess we will be corridor mates. My DH has been auditing the new extension to the hospital and is most excited that it will be finished well before we give birth. I couldn't fault the hospital last time and I was there enough (the boys were premmie and in for a while)!

Em

[anacris]

Hi all,
Sophie I am very happy you could see that heartbeat! I am sorry you had to go through all of that last week, still praying everything is ok tomorrow.

Amy hope and praying everything goes ok today and you can hear that heartbeat.

Jennifer, good luck with ultrasound today.

I have been very worried since yesterday afternoon because I had allittle bit of brownish spotting, it was just a little bit and it has stopped, but still it worries me a lot, I am worried it will get worse or something, I have not had cramping or anything, I already told my doctor and told me to rest, and I will still have my ultrasound tomorow, can't wait to hear that heartbeat and stop worrying so much.

Hope everyone is fine

[kerpupples]

Sophie, so glad you got past your scare!!!

As for me, 6w5d u/s today - still no heartbeat. Baby actually measured at 2.5 mm on Friday and is at 2.9 mm today. Way too small.

We're checking again on Friday but I'm not optimistic. We may have to chalk this time up to "at least I can get pregnant."

[keita1981]

I would like to know who all have done a 3 day trf. How many did you trf? What cell were they? and are you pregnant w/ a singleton or twins.? How long did you have bed rest?


I did a 2 embryo 3day trf Satruday and they said they were perfect...both were 8 cell. My last embie is in the early stage of blast which is good b/c it was kinda behind the two trf Saturday.

Thanks in advanced.

[doodah66]

keita1981....We did a 3 day transfer with just 1 egg. It was all I had produced. It was 8 cells the morning of the transfer and when we saw it that afternoon right before the transfer it had changed from the 8 cell. I'm not sure of all the changes an egg goes through after the 8 cell part. I didn't study up on it because it didn't apply to us. We did have assisted hatching though.

Anyway, my 1 little egg is a toughie because I'm pregnant. I still pinch myself when I think about the overwhelming odds that we've beaten up to this point.

My doctor told me to just take it easy the rest of the transfer day. He doesn't believe in bedrest. All doctors are different.

I'm assuming it's a singleton, but we have our first ultrasound next week. My husband with be in complete shock if it split.

Good luck,
Kristy

[PMApsy]

Good morning ladies!

Lots of first ultrasounds today, it will be exciting to hear about it!

Kristy: I will update the list on this page with your due date; thanks for telling me. And I, too, must admit that I think of Lola when I go to the bathroom... LOL

Emma: so sorry you're having morning sickness so bad... I must admit, I'm quite happy to have that Diclectin prescription in hand, just in case it becomes too much... I know I won't have to wait to long to have meds that help. For now, I'm trying to be tough... but once/if I get back to work, that might be another story. It's just hard to force yourself to eat, especially in the morning, when you feel so yucky! I'm happy to hear that you've got help, too, if you need it. Honestly, it takes courage to go through another pregnancy so soon... with young twins to take care of! Two thumbs up for Emmaaaaa!

Ana: I completely understand how gutting it is the first time you see blood in your underwear or on your panty liner. I'm sorry this has happened to you. But if it can reassure you... the night before we found the heartbeat for the first time, I swear, I passed blood clots the size of small tennis balls (couldn't believe my eyes). I was completely horrified and I was sure that I was losing half of my uterus in there. I've been bleeding in varying colors and amounts since then. My baby is still alive and safe and growing super well. 30% of women bleed during their first trimester and they still deliver healthy babies. It is NOT over until the fat lady sings, always remember that! And after you see that little heartbeat on the screen today, keep that image in mind. It sure helps me! *HUGS*

kerpupples: oh, man... how disappointing!!!! I'm very sorry for you my dear... so very sorry. I find it so cruel to first rejoice so much with a BFP result, and then have that taken away a couple of weeks later... so cruel. But you're right, hunny. At least, you've proven yourself that you can get pregnant, and this does make a difference. Many women will confirm this, but it's usually easier to get a BFP when there have been pregnancies in the past, just because the uterus seems to remember what to do! So while your baby might be lost... this attempt was not completely useless; your body accomplished a lot, and that is not wasted. Hang in there, hunny.. the wait will be terrible until Friday, but you'll be in my thoughts. *HUGS*

Keita: I can see that this is your first IVF. I remember how anxious I was the first time, and how many questions I had in mind, how closely I looked at every single step of the process, anticipating them, making scenarios. No matter if we answer all the questions you asked about our transfers and embryos, it won't change anything for you. Your case is unique, because your body and embryos are unique. The nurses at my clinic would tell you that they've seen perfectly formed and strong embryos end up in a BFN and barely alive embryos that implanted and became healthy babies. They will tell you stories about that woman who was in a hurry the day of her transfer because she had a tee off (golf) an hour later and didn't want to be late. She became pregnant and delivered a healthy baby. They will tell you about that doctor's wife who was bleeding like crazy before test day and was convinced she had her period and didn't want to come to the clinic for the test... she was pregnant with a healthy baby. You've done the best you could: you've taken your meds, you've taken care of your health, and so on. Now, the moment your eggs are taken out, it's out of your control and nothing can change that. Whether you worry or not will not change your outcome. Letting go is the hardest thing to do, and it takes humility and courage to just accept that the moment comes when it's not in anybody's hands anymore, just Nature's. Bed rest is a debate, but if I'm not mistaken, less and less doctors recommend it. Studies show that it makes no difference whatsoever on success rates. It can be harmful to you and your embryos because lying down all day and all night will alter your blood circulation and give you clots in the legs and/or lower the blood flow to your uterus. Not good. Not to mention the fact that, in bed all day, women are free to obssess about their embryos at will, which creates stress, which lowers their success rates. Do take your transfer day off, and take it easy for the first few days. After 3-5 days, alea jacta est: implantation time is behind you. That being said, I wish you the best of luck for your BFP, after all you've endured, and an uneventful pregnancy! *HUGS*

Looking forward to hear about your ultrasounds guys! I'm about to leave for the clinic... yaaay!

Sophie

[mzpotter]

Hey Ladies, my ultrasound was actually this morning. The doc wanted to be there to give me his congratulations. While my betas were high they saw one strong beanie. The heartbeat was on point and everything was perfect. I could be upset because there were not two or more baking in my oven but I strongly feel that God would never give me more than I can handle. Knowing myself, i know that having more than one would have been a real challenge for me and my husband. So I feel that God knew exactly what he was doing. Besides, I know that I have the opportunity to jump back on this IVF ride if I choose after my bean is a baby.

Sophie- I am glad that everything worked out for you. Please continue to rest and take it easy.

By the way, I am due November 10th.

[PMApsy]

Hi guys!

mzpotter: thanks for the info; I'll update the list. CONGRATULATIONS on your healthy heartbeat! I'm happy for you and you must be over the moon!

As for me, the news aren't too good, unfortunately. We did see the embryo, but its heart was only beating slow and feebly. We found a hematoma behind the sac, which suggests that the bleeding was caused by my placenta, which got "unstuck" a little. Sorry, lost in translation. The doctor wants me back for another ultrasound on the 25th. He says our chances are about 50-50% at this point. It is not encouraging at all. With the bleeding that had stopped and the pain that had subsided, the strong nausea that I had endured these past two days and the strong heartbeat we had seen on Sunday, we both thought it was okay. What a disappointment. The doctor said that, especially with twins, he often sees one heartbeat like that, feeble and slow, but that it completely picks up the following week and is then 100% normal. I hope this is what will happen... but, again, I'll have to wait. I bought lots of comfort food and rented two girly DVDs to pass the time today. That will help! I won't be back at work until after the Easter holidays.

Looking forward to hearing your news girls!

[KathleenP]

Hi Ladies, How is everyone? Wow, the group got bigger since I've been away. It's great to see so many new November moms. Sorry I've been MIA. I've just been so tired.

Jenn, that's great news about the heartbeat. You must be so happy.
My due date is Nov 10th too. That's actually what I calculated on this site - not officially from the doctor yet. Do you still has ms?

Sophie, I can't believe all you have been through! You poor thing. I'm very glad that it all worked out and that you and your baby are ok. How scary that must have been for you. ((((((hugs))))))))
Thanks for working so hard on the lists. They look sooooo cute.

Lola, Laurel, and Ana, How are you? I think you have your scans today. Good luck and let us know how it goes.

Emma, that's great news that you saw a heartbeat!! Congratulations!
How have you been feeling?

Amy, I'm very sorry that things didn't work out. It's such an emotional time. I'm glad you have such a postive attitude. It takes a very strong person to go through all of this.

Kristy, sounds like you've come a long way. Your story is really amazing. Congratulations on your pregnancy. Good luck with your scan next week.

Pincushion, Hope you are feeling better. I know what you mean about feeling like a zombie. I've been in a bit of a funk myself. I started walking on the treadmill again. Not very fast, but I wanted to do something to help me from feeling so blah. Good luck with your scan next week.

I hope I didn't miss anyone. My 2nd scan is tomorrow. We are hoping to see two heartbeats. I will be 6w2d so we shall see.
Take care ladies.
xoxo
Kathleen