Awaiting Treatment

[Angel505]

ooh that sounds very glam - so what colour shoes and hand bag??

Now you're asking me difficult questions It takes me forever to mae up my mind about these things.

I'm going to sort out my second outfit, then see if I can find accessories to go with both.

You're going to join DH at his work this week? Where does he have to travel to?

Any more thoughts on how you'll get away from the spa thing?

[wishfull27]

He works near Gatwick and stays in hotel - so quite nice to go down - just crappy journey - only 120 miles - but M1 - roadworks, M25 car park and M23 - hateful journey!

Just think will go with Af excuse as friend has used that one when been to our house and not gone in hot tub!! - alcohol not an issue and will just say watching what I am eating - although after today am not sure what I have that will fit me - jeans are alrady un done cos of bloated belly

One outfir down one to go - not bad going... I think there are some lovely clothes about at moment - I so want a dress but not going anywhere to wear one

[wishfull27]

oooo - Becky's on line best get ready to sing national anthem in case she graces us with her presence

[Welshgirl38]

Hi Ladies ....

Sorry Sorry Sorry - i hav no excuse accept that its Monday = Wages day, its end of mth = payments = very very busy wee bee ... I know its not a proper excuse, but its all i have...

SORRY - please dont shout at me no more

Last week was a strange week for me ... i didnt know if i was comming or going .... i have this friend (if i can call her that) someone whom i know thru an ivf forum (not this one lol) an she was at the same clinic as me right - she started her tmt a few wks after me, an i was due to test a week before her (are u with me) now all the way thru my tmt i was complaining about my tmt an the clinic - an when of course i got a bfn, i was obvisouly upset ... so a few days later i got a pm from her saying how much she loves the clinic cos they are fantastic cos she got her bfp (first go) an yes, don’t get me wrong I am pleased for her – Im not saying im not – it was just the way she came right out an said it to me, sort of ‘in your face, the clinic worked for me so there’ ….. So I never said anything to her, but cried all day that day cos I was upset that I was treated the same way (same amount of drugs etc) as her an she is just 28, I felt that I should have been treated differently (with more drugs etc) cos of the age gap. An to have her rub it in my face the way she did, pissed me off a wee tad.
Well yesterday then I got another message off her saying she has been for her scan an everything is perfect, too perfect infact cos she is having twins! Again I am pleased that she is having twins, but not once did she ask about me an how I was doing, just messaged me to tell me about the 2 perfect heartbeats an 2 perfect sized babies for 7 weeks, an how her an her dh cried when they saw the screen, an how she cant stop looking at the picture … I mean ladies, is it me or does that young lady need some tact! Im happy she is pregnant, im happy she is having twins, I don’t wish no malice, but please don’t rub it in my face all the time especially when we went to same clinics, had the same Dr an she knows all the hassle I had with them – if she tells me once more that ‘she loves em’ (the Dr an the clinic) I swear im gonna throw my computer out!!! All I asl for is a little tact – she doesn’t know what its like to have a bfn, she doesn’t know what it feels like an it gets to me that she thinks she can come an tell me how wonderful her life is when mine is shite … well … not shite but u know what I mean!!!

Im on day 35 on my AF an still no bloody sign of her – I spotted on day 23, an had a mucas type brown blood, an that’s it – nothing since … im sure im about to explode, my tummy is swelling up an my moods – well don’t even ask about those lol …

Right – ive got all that off my chest now lol ….

Carolyn: Hey honey, only 4 more days … oh I cant wiat to hear ur news, any symptoms to report to us? Oh an when u get ur bfp – don’t feel bad for telling me an being excited, its just the way this lady rubbed it in my face – proberly unintentional, but its there all the same. An don’t worry about treating urself with lovely chocolate ,….. u have to treat urself, especially while on the 2ww …. Its law LOL xxxxx

Angel: Im ok hun, thank u for thinking about me. An b4 anyone asks, no I haven’t been good on my diet BUT I have been walking lunch times at work, an doing a bit more exercise than normal … hopefully that will help. Sorry to hear of ur fainting – I wud hate that, I have a phobia of things like that … an being sick – yuk! You watch me get pregnant an hav loads of morning sickness, an fainting fits – my SIL got fainting fits, oh I couldn’t cope with that….. Hope ur taking care of urself xxxx

Mir: Pizza in bed – ooooo sounds like fun hehe!! Oh to go back to how it was when ur dating – I wud love that – the butterflies in tummy when u look at each other … ur breath being taken away at his touch – ooooooooooooooo lush!!!!!! Bring back first dates lol!!!

Hello to everyone else … I see Carolyn is getting ready to sing me the National Anthem hahahahaha – cheeky bugger lol …. I should just log off an say nout shouldn’t I – just to see what u all say hahahahaha

Cant do it tho ladies, ur too good to me …..

Xxxxxxxxxx

[Angel505]

Hi Ladies ....

i have this friend (if i can call her that) someone whom i know thru an ivf forum (not this one lol)

Xxxxxxxxxx

See I knew it - Becky you left us for your friends on another forum?

Just kidding hun. You know we love pulling your leg.

Sorry about what you've been going through. Not defending her, but she is young and having got a BFP wouldn't really understand what a failed cycle feels like. Is it worth letting her know tactfully that you don't feel the same way about the clinic as you don't feel like you got treated well? When women who haven't been through tmt act like the universe centres around their baby bump you can just about excuse them. But when women have been through all the pain and emotions of IF and had to go through tmt to achieve their dreams you would think that they would try to put themselves in the other person's shoes. But I get extremely annoyed by these type of women who forget within seconds of getting their BFPs. I'm so sorry Becks. ((((HUGS))))))).

I completely understand all the emotions you feel. A lot of our friends have now had their baby (ies). One of them who has been trying for 9 years is finally pregnant now. All this time, she couldn't bear pregnancy talk and it was quite apparent on her face. Now that she is pregnant, all she wants to talk about is that. So last week we had a small get together and all the ladies there got in a circle and started talking about pregnancies and scan and tests.....I felt so lonely And it brought all my emotions to the front again. At that point, before everyone else arrived I was the only non- pregnant/ didn't have a kid woman there. I was so hurt to watch all this and even more that not one of them noticed that I wasn't saying anything and had to go and sit by myself. With the men its different, they congratulate each other, complain about how sleep deprived they are for all of 3 minutes, then sat down and talked football. So DH wasn't too much affected. Then we had a bit of a row as he said that I should just try to get involved in the conversation otherwise it looks like I am not happy for them and being snobbish. I said I didn't care because if any one of them had the slightest bit of sensitivity they would have noticed and even one of them should have struck up a conversation with me.

No matter how hard we try to be strong things always happen to shake us up. But we are all here for each other. Thank god for that!

[Angel505]

oooo - Becky's on line best get ready to sing national anthem in case she graces us with her presence

I did get up and stand to attention .............

Carolyn you are the proper internet police.

[wishfull27]

oh Becks - sending you big cyber hugs - sh is a selfish cow - and can not possibly understand what a BFN feels like ... I would just PM her back and say pleased for her however... could she show a litle more tact .. probably won't hear from her again - but heyho who needs friends like that!!

angel - know what you mean about baby talk - just got one friend with litlle babay - well he is one next week - all others are all older - she is also desparate fro another - and constantly tells me what I am missing out on - DH says just tell her about IF and she will soon shhut up - she was preganat within 3 months of trying and is a big girl - (size 26+) so they can't always blame IF on size!! -- we have been invited to 1st party next sunday have acepted but may have to feign illness at last minute depending on POAS result as will be loads of babies and may be too painful

We will get there girlies and will just be stronger people for having to go down this road of IF

Big cyber hugs to my buddies (((())))

Will be around tom too - except for beauty appointment to de fuzz legs, eyebrow wax and nails painted .. girls got to treat herself!!! - no its my friends shop and I havd her son to stay friday night as they were going out so its her way of saying thanks ... she is a nice friend .. she is in to all the holistic treatments and reikki and very spiritual and knows nothing about IF - last cycle she kept saying to me out of blue - your not preganant are you?? -- last week when I was moaning about work and cut backs she then said well you will be preganant soon so won't have to worry about it ... I was like yeh right..... but secretly hoping she is right

Enough drivle - off to eat my dairy milk bar now - only a small one!!

laters lovies xxx

[chriss]

Hi girls,
I am not ignoring you. Really I'm not.

Angel, know all too well about being in a goup of gilrs while they all talk baby. I stand there like a dumb-dumb. And DH really don't get it. You have us sweets.

Becky, good to hear from you. Sorry that dummy pm'd you with out being considerate of your feelings. I know what you are going thru, been there too. Nothing wrong with educating her. Just try to do it from a happy place, not from anger. Don't want it to come across wrong. Ya know what I mean?

I really try to be happy for all those preggies out there, but it's tough.
(I'm just being honest) They just blab, blab, blab about it all. Worrying about what color to paint the room, etc.

Carolyn... PMA to you. Getting close now. Best of luck sweetie. You sound very good.

Mir, glad you and DH are acting like school-kids. Know how much you missed him. Hope you are well. I've missed you.

DH and I went to new RE today. First we met with psycologist. We are now on the waiting list for DE should the next cycle with own eggs not work out. But it will work. Also went to see new urologist for DH. He wants to do some sperm fragmentation test. This checks sperm's chromosones. Since DH has some sperm problems, he wants to do do this further testing. Could be some of the reason for multiple failed cycles. Who knows? The big guy upstairs.

Anyway, still plugging away at the pregnancy thing. I will be pregnant with a happy healthy baby. It's my destiny.

Now I hope you all have a great Tuesday. I've been reading your posts. Sorry I have been a slacker in the posting department. Know that I love you and I am here.

-chriss

[Angel505]

Hellooo Chriss,

So nice to hear from you as always. We know you've asked for a little space but we can't stop hassling you to come online cause we miss you

You have got the right attitude - IT HAS TO WORK AND IT WILL!!! You are trying so hard with all the research and looking into options, you have to get rewarded for that. Now that you are off on leave from work, it will give you plenty of time to concentrate on Project "I want a Baby"!!!

I know you find it stressful to come here while going through treatment and giving frequent updates, but do let us know just before you start next tmt so we'll do follie dances for you and keep you in our thoughts and prayers. And don't worry we won't ask for updates.

I totally agree that no matter how hard we try to be happy for others it is very difficult. But its comforting to know that others feel the same way, and that doesn't mean that we are bad people. We don't mean no one any harm, but it is difficult to understand why we are left out. I have already told DH that when it happens for us, I want him to remind me if I go on and on with baby talk in front of women who don't have kids. He was very sweet and said he can't see me doing that

[Angel505]

CAROLYN,

Thought you said that you'd be around today. How are you? And how much chocolate and crisps have you gorged on today?

You all spruced up after your beauty sessions?

[Angel505]

Becky

Hope you're not feeling too upset today. Have you decided to tell her or will you leave it?

Come and play with us. Carolyn and Mir are sure to bring a smile to your face.

How dare Angie go on leave????

[Angel505]

Miracle,

Come out and play..................How are you today???

By the way missy, have you started looking into the shared egg donor route? What are you waiting for....

[wishfull27]

Hi angel - yes I am beautiful once again

Was up most of last night with stomach ache and indegestion - think it was all the crap I ate yesterday - won't be doing that again thought I was dying

Chris - lovely to hear from you - and you sound in such a good place with lots of plans to help you get where you want to be -big hugss((()))) x

Mir / Becky - where are you ???

Ang - hope you are having a great break!!

[Angel505]

Was it a stomach ache or bloating? Having all the junk is fine but I hope that is on top of balanced meals. And are you drinking plenty of water? Its ecpecially important in this weather. The RE did tell me to keep myself hydrated during tmt.

didn't mean to sound like your mother.

[wishfull27]

bit of both I think - i was so close at 4am to going to Tesco's to buy HPT but survived the night without

I do drink loads of water anyway - just at moment can't stop peeing - hope that is another sign - god I hate my body and trying to over analyse every single twinge/ twitch and tingle

You busy today ??