You guys are a great group of gals. I have been reading you for a while, and laughing at some of your stuff, and almost crying with you guys on other things. It is amazing the bonds that you guys have formed
Awaiting Treatment
Miracle- Yes, I have had one successful IVF which led to a beautiful dd. That, I must admit, happened on my first IVF. Since then my eyes have been opened up to how difficult this process is and how unsucessful it can be. I just wish insurance would pay for a little something. Adopting won't be easy either...especially since dh hasn't jumped on the wagon yet.
You guys are a great group of gals. I have been reading you for a while, and laughing at some of your stuff, and almost crying with you guys on other things. It is amazing the bonds that you guys have formed
You guys are a great group of gals. I have been reading you for a while, and laughing at some of your stuff, and almost crying with you guys on other things. It is amazing the bonds that you guys have formed
Carolyn,
Just checked the boards and saw your message. I'm so gutted for you and DH.
I know just how painful it is to go for bloods after POAS and getting AF. But please go, if for nothing else to get closure. My RE always insisted on it to get conclusive results. I'm not trying to give you false hope sweetie, but do consider it.
We're here for you anytime if you want to vent.
I'm sorry, I know there is nothing we can do/ say to make you feel better. I hope you can take some time out with DH to grieve properly and think about the next steps.
Our thoughts and prayers are with you.
Just checked the boards and saw your message. I'm so gutted for you and DH.
I know just how painful it is to go for bloods after POAS and getting AF. But please go, if for nothing else to get closure. My RE always insisted on it to get conclusive results. I'm not trying to give you false hope sweetie, but do consider it.
We're here for you anytime if you want to vent.
I'm sorry, I know there is nothing we can do/ say to make you feel better. I hope you can take some time out with DH to grieve properly and think about the next steps.
Our thoughts and prayers are with you.
Last edited by Angel505 on Sun Jul 06, 2008 8:26 pm, edited 1 time in total.
hrobinson,
welcome to this thread. I'm sorry you have reached the end of the road with IVF, but at least you've got one little miracle out of it. Hopefully, you'll achieve your dream of a sibling for your dd in the coming years.
You are right - this has been a fun thread. We are all at different stages. The support I've received here is fantastic. I love these crazy ladies to bits and don't know how I could have gotten through the rough times without them. We've created such an amazing bond
welcome to this thread. I'm sorry you have reached the end of the road with IVF, but at least you've got one little miracle out of it. Hopefully, you'll achieve your dream of a sibling for your dd in the coming years.
You are right - this has been a fun thread. We are all at different stages. The support I've received here is fantastic. I love these crazy ladies to bits and don't know how I could have gotten through the rough times without them. We've created such an amazing bond
hrobinson,
I can only imagine how two failed IVF's feel like. I havent started tmt yet, but I have to do IVF. Hopefully DH and I will be able to start sooner then later.
Not that it makes it easier, but you have a miracle. Try not forget that. There are many women on this thread who have gone through 6 or more fresh IVF's and many FET. I am not saying it doesnt hurt still, but just be thankful for her, ya know?
So you want to adopt? Hubby not totally on board yet? I think adoption is wonderful.
I can only imagine how two failed IVF's feel like. I havent started tmt yet, but I have to do IVF. Hopefully DH and I will be able to start sooner then later.
Not that it makes it easier, but you have a miracle. Try not forget that. There are many women on this thread who have gone through 6 or more fresh IVF's and many FET. I am not saying it doesnt hurt still, but just be thankful for her, ya know?
So you want to adopt? Hubby not totally on board yet? I think adoption is wonderful.
-
wishfull27
- Valued Contributor
- Posts: 1580
- Joined: Mon Jul 23, 2007 8:01 pm
- Location: UK
Thanks honeys fo your touching words - you made me cry again
Not sure where all the teas come from at times like this x
Angel - that is excatly what DH said about getting bloods done for a closure on it .. guess I will have to go
Just a couple of questions for you all - I thought progsterone was meant to stop you bleding until stopped taking it - did last time??
Your thoughts on trying another clinic for next cycle ???
Am hoping nurse will sign me off for another week or so - just too emotional at moment to go back to work - and know that it will be tough enough as it is when go back as got to do some redundancies for some direct reports to me - at moment I won;t be able to tell them without crying - thought my boss would do it in my absence but just opened an email to say he has been too busy ... wish I could use that as an excuse when don't want to do things .. i hate my boss
.. i hate my job at the moment too .. .. i hate my body for making this IVF not work.. but I love my DH 
Sorry to be on such a downer .. you all knmow how I feel, which makes things so much easier - as no one else except you guys can appreciate the pain and heartache that accompnaies a BFN - I just feel so jealous of all those people that get BFP on first iVF cycle .. why .. why .. why not us .. no one will want to join our thread any more as we appear to curently be the BFN gang.. i am off before I depress you anymore on an already dreary monday
Truly, truly thanks for all your support and kind words
Catch you later
Carolyn xxx
Not sure where all the teas come from at times like this x
Angel - that is excatly what DH said about getting bloods done for a closure on it .. guess I will have to go
Just a couple of questions for you all - I thought progsterone was meant to stop you bleding until stopped taking it - did last time??
Your thoughts on trying another clinic for next cycle ???
Am hoping nurse will sign me off for another week or so - just too emotional at moment to go back to work - and know that it will be tough enough as it is when go back as got to do some redundancies for some direct reports to me - at moment I won;t be able to tell them without crying - thought my boss would do it in my absence but just opened an email to say he has been too busy ... wish I could use that as an excuse when don't want to do things .. i hate my boss
.. i hate my job at the moment too .. .. i hate my body for making this IVF not work.. but I love my DH Sorry to be on such a downer .. you all knmow how I feel, which makes things so much easier - as no one else except you guys can appreciate the pain and heartache that accompnaies a BFN - I just feel so jealous of all those people that get BFP on first iVF cycle .. why .. why .. why not us .. no one will want to join our thread any more as we appear to curently be the BFN gang.. i am off before I depress you anymore on an already dreary monday
Truly, truly thanks for all your support and kind words
Catch you later
Carolyn xxx
IVF 4 BFP
Carolyn,
Sweetie, you are NOT depressing us. The weather certainly is depressing. Remember that we understand the pain you are going through. Its never easy dealing with a BFN. I went back to work after my BFN, and let me tell you it did not do any good at all. I didn't get any work done, I couldn't just let go and cry freely, driving to and from was a nightmare as I was constantly crying, looking outside at people who were cheerful made me annoyed, etc. So if your nurse can sign you off work then brilliant, if not just take 2 -3 days off sick. Theres nothing anyone can do about that.
Please don't beat yourself up over it. You tried your best. You had a wonderful attitude and you were careful and rested plenty, and you were so dedicated to losing so much weight before tmt. You love your DH and together you need to grieve, hug each other and just stay away from other people generally. Give yourself time to recover emotionally before you think about the next steps. How is your DH taking it?
Progesterone generally does stop AF from coming, but in both my failed cycles, AF came right before test date, i.e. when it was due. But I have read of lots of women waiting a long time to get their AF after the BFN. Sorry can't be more helpful.
Regarding your clinic, were you happy with the way you were treated? Personally I think the best way to make the decision is to go for a follow up appointment and ask what potentially went wrong. Also ask them what they would do different the next time and if there is anything you can do in the meantime to help with your next cycle. Maybe you could go for a consultation to a different clinic and see if they would do things differently after you discuss your last cycle with notes from the old RE?
This is only my opinion, but I feel that if you are happy with your RE and the way you were treated, then you should stick to the same clinic. The reason being that the RE has treated you before, he will know of any changes to make and will probably be more driven to make sure it works for you next time. I know that maybe some people may not agree with that theory. At the end of the day, only you can make a decision you are comfortable with.
Sending lots of cyber hugs to you. And remember that we are here for you to rant to. We're all good listeners [or reader……………..]. And we're here for you.
Sweetie, you are NOT depressing us. The weather certainly is depressing. Remember that we understand the pain you are going through. Its never easy dealing with a BFN. I went back to work after my BFN, and let me tell you it did not do any good at all. I didn't get any work done, I couldn't just let go and cry freely, driving to and from was a nightmare as I was constantly crying, looking outside at people who were cheerful made me annoyed, etc. So if your nurse can sign you off work then brilliant, if not just take 2 -3 days off sick. Theres nothing anyone can do about that.
Please don't beat yourself up over it. You tried your best. You had a wonderful attitude and you were careful and rested plenty, and you were so dedicated to losing so much weight before tmt. You love your DH and together you need to grieve, hug each other and just stay away from other people generally. Give yourself time to recover emotionally before you think about the next steps. How is your DH taking it?
Progesterone generally does stop AF from coming, but in both my failed cycles, AF came right before test date, i.e. when it was due. But I have read of lots of women waiting a long time to get their AF after the BFN. Sorry can't be more helpful.
Regarding your clinic, were you happy with the way you were treated? Personally I think the best way to make the decision is to go for a follow up appointment and ask what potentially went wrong. Also ask them what they would do different the next time and if there is anything you can do in the meantime to help with your next cycle. Maybe you could go for a consultation to a different clinic and see if they would do things differently after you discuss your last cycle with notes from the old RE?
This is only my opinion, but I feel that if you are happy with your RE and the way you were treated, then you should stick to the same clinic. The reason being that the RE has treated you before, he will know of any changes to make and will probably be more driven to make sure it works for you next time. I know that maybe some people may not agree with that theory. At the end of the day, only you can make a decision you are comfortable with.
Sending lots of cyber hugs to you. And remember that we are here for you to rant to. We're all good listeners [or reader……………..
]. And we're here for you.Ladies-
How is everyone doing this fine Monday morning/afternoon??
Angel, you are a very wise lady my dear!!! You are one awesome person. You always have the best advice.
My love Carolyn....now dont be silly...you are not depressing anyone or bring anything down. We all love you very much and we are friends. Need I say more?? Friends are there for each other through the thick and thin. I really do not think I can add anything to what Angel has suggested. (she always beats me...sneaky woman ) But, about you changing clinics, you need to decide how you feel about your current dr. Does he take time with you, does he give all that he should...I think Angel gave the best advice on that. Go to your follow up and see what he suggests doing different and you can always go to a consultation to another clinic and see what they have to say. I think it is a good idea to take some time off as well. You need to grieve and deal with your emotions. You cant do that very well at work. How is DH? I will continue to pray for you both. You rant and rave all you want Miss Carolyn!!!! BIG HUGS!!!!!!!
Angie are you back to work yet?? Dang, I wish I could be a slacker like you!!!
Becky, how are you doing? You and Brian have had to make by now???!!!
Hrobinson- What is going on?
Well, I had a pretty good weekend. Friday was July 4th and over here in the states that is a pretty big deal!!! (As Angel already said, it is independence day for the USA!!) Had lots of fun. And went to the Dr Wednesday about my headaches, and they gave me a new pill to take at night, and guess what?? NO HEADACHES FOR 4 DAYS!!!!!!!!!!! How freaking cool is that??????????
ok, lots of love and hugs to everyone...
How is everyone doing this fine Monday morning/afternoon??
Angel, you are a very wise lady my dear!!! You are one awesome person. You always have the best advice.
My love Carolyn....now dont be silly...you are not depressing anyone or bring anything down. We all love you very much and we are friends. Need I say more?? Friends are there for each other through the thick and thin. I really do not think I can add anything to what Angel has suggested. (she always beats me...sneaky woman
) But, about you changing clinics, you need to decide how you feel about your current dr. Does he take time with you, does he give all that he should...I think Angel gave the best advice on that. Go to your follow up and see what he suggests doing different and you can always go to a consultation to another clinic and see what they have to say. I think it is a good idea to take some time off as well. You need to grieve and deal with your emotions. You cant do that very well at work. How is DH? I will continue to pray for you both. You rant and rave all you want Miss Carolyn!!!! BIG HUGS!!!!!!!Angie are you back to work yet?? Dang, I wish I could be a slacker like you!!!
Becky, how are you doing? You and Brian have had to make by now???!!!
Hrobinson- What is going on?
Well, I had a pretty good weekend. Friday was July 4th and over here in the states that is a pretty big deal!!! (As Angel already said, it is independence day for the USA!!) Had lots of fun. And went to the Dr Wednesday about my headaches, and they gave me a new pill to take at night, and guess what?? NO HEADACHES FOR 4 DAYS!!!!!!!!!!! How freaking cool is that??????????
ok, lots of love and hugs to everyone...
WISE???????????!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!D'you know how old that make me feel?Miracle08 wrote:Ladies-
How is everyone doing this fine Monday morning/afternoon??
Angel, you are a very wise lady my dear!!! You are one awesome person. You always have the best advice.
...
That is awesome news on your headaches leaving you alone? Are you all rested after your looong weekend?
ANGIE - come out!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Say, if you have a holiday on Friday which is your day off anyway, do you still work lonf hours the other four days, or so you work reduced hours?? Wake up missy!!!
I didnt mean to make you feel old. You are not old. I just love your advice. You nail it everytime. 
Wishful- I really feel for you right now. Having just gone through a BFN two weeks ago. I am still ANGRY!!! I am angry with God, and angry with my clinic. I don't know when the anger, or pain will go away, but I know it will as this was not my first bought of the BFN's.
Last summer when I underwent a fresh cycle, AF came very early even though I was on progesterone. They inisisted I take the prog. until BW confirmed it was a BFN. I did for a day or so then stopped. I know my body and knew it hadn't taken.
this past cycle I just knew it was a BFP AND AF didn't come when she was due. Needless to say I was shocked beyond belief to see the -HPT.
I cried all day long. I text messaged family and friends to give them the news, but would not speak to anyone for a few days.
As far as changing clinics.....I agree with what Angel said. she is a very smart YOUNG lady with great advice. You must evaluate how you feel about the clinic and how you were treated. Also look at what re says about next cycle.
I was very happy with my clinic on my first cycle. the past two I have been very disappointed with them. I do not think that even if I was going to do another IVF that I would return to the same clinic. (plus I travel 360 miles one way to go to this clinic). However, I am so mad right now because the re still has not called me to discuss what went wrong, what he would change next time etc.
So, you have to look very closely in your heart at how you feel about your care and treatment.
I know I have my little miracle girl and sometimes I hate telling people I have her because sometimes they act like I don't belong on these boards. I know it doesn't seem fair that I am complaining of only having one when so many of you don't have any. I praise God every day and night for giving me her. She is such a blessing and not a minute goes by that I don't appreciate her.
Last summer when I underwent a fresh cycle, AF came very early even though I was on progesterone. They inisisted I take the prog. until BW confirmed it was a BFN. I did for a day or so then stopped. I know my body and knew it hadn't taken.
this past cycle I just knew it was a BFP AND AF didn't come when she was due. Needless to say I was shocked beyond belief to see the -HPT.
I cried all day long. I text messaged family and friends to give them the news, but would not speak to anyone for a few days.
As far as changing clinics.....I agree with what Angel said. she is a very smart YOUNG lady with great advice. You must evaluate how you feel about the clinic and how you were treated. Also look at what re says about next cycle.
I was very happy with my clinic on my first cycle. the past two I have been very disappointed with them. I do not think that even if I was going to do another IVF that I would return to the same clinic. (plus I travel 360 miles one way to go to this clinic). However, I am so mad right now because the re still has not called me to discuss what went wrong, what he would change next time etc.
So, you have to look very closely in your heart at how you feel about your care and treatment.
I know I have my little miracle girl and sometimes I hate telling people I have her because sometimes they act like I don't belong on these boards. I know it doesn't seem fair that I am complaining of only having one when so many of you don't have any. I praise God every day and night for giving me her. She is such a blessing and not a minute goes by that I don't appreciate her.
Oh Hrobinson, please don't get us wrong. I hope our messages didn't come across as you shouldn't be here. All we meant was that when all fails, you do have one miracle to look at on the bright side. It doesn't mean that you'll hurt any less. The boards are for ANYONE who needs support relating to IF. Just because you have dd doesn't mean that you don't have the right to feel the pain of not being able to have another one. You are still going through all the emotions - anger and inability to understand why some of us can't conceive naturally, difficulties and side effects of tmt, and all the emotional highs and lows that go with it. We're all here to support each other - mainly though the rough times. When people are happy, they don't really need to reach for support. So please don't feel like you don't belong.hrobinson wrote:I know I have my little miracle girl and sometimes I hate telling people I have her because sometimes they act like I don't belong on these boards. I know it doesn't seem fair that I am complaining of only having one when so many of you don't have any. I praise God every day and night for giving me her. She is such a blessing and not a minute goes by that I don't appreciate her.
((((((((((((((( HUGS ))))))))))))))))))))))))
-
wishfull27
- Valued Contributor
- Posts: 1580
- Joined: Mon Jul 23, 2007 8:01 pm
- Location: UK
helloo ....
I am still alive .. just .. not managed to drown in my tears yet.
Spoke to RE yesterday and he has signed me off for another week - he has also arranged for me to go for some couselling(sp??) tomorrow - I am sure that will help too.
No one knows about IVF apart from my parents and you guys and not sure if that is good or bad as no one to talk to and have had to tell lots of white lies .. but then when spoke to parents yesterday they are as devastated as us .. but don't think could have coped with more phone calls like the one to tell them... not sure - do lots of your friends know or have you kept it quiet???
Thanks for all your cyber love and support .. you don't know how much it means to me.. wow managed to do post without tears
will be back later loveies xxx
I am still alive .. just .. not managed to drown in my tears yet.
Spoke to RE yesterday and he has signed me off for another week - he has also arranged for me to go for some couselling(sp??) tomorrow - I am sure that will help too.
No one knows about IVF apart from my parents and you guys and not sure if that is good or bad as no one to talk to and have had to tell lots of white lies .. but then when spoke to parents yesterday they are as devastated as us .. but don't think could have coped with more phone calls like the one to tell them... not sure - do lots of your friends know or have you kept it quiet???
Thanks for all your cyber love and support .. you don't know how much it means to me.. wow managed to do post without tears
will be back later loveies xxx
IVF 4 BFP
Hi Ladies...
hrobinson-If I offended you by my post I am very sorry. I didn't mean to sound as if because you have one child that is doesn't hurt the same. Absolutely, you feel pain just like we do.
Angel-Where are you lovey? You usually have posted by now. You must be busy at work...do they really think you are there to work?? I mean, come on, at work is our "free time" without DH seeing we are on this site. 
Becky- now where and the heck have you gone???? Hope everything is ok. Sure do miss your posts!!
Angie- You too love! You should be back to work by now... I guess I will just talk to myself today...
My sweet lovey Carolyn- Let me just say, you are one strong woman. You are an inspiration to us all. Well, only my mom and dad and sister know about our infertility and the fact we have to do IVF. I do not want to deal with everyones questions and dumb comments. Friends that you would think are pretty smart, turn dumb really fast with infertility. ie... "well at least you can still have a baby"...
Like IVF is 100%!! This is totally your decision if you want to tell certain people so you can talk to them, but let me just say that the 2 friends I did tell, they were not supportive and they just DO NOT know what we go through. They cannot understand how seeing a pg belly can make us tear up... or going to the store and seeing the baby section and feel gutted...my friends, even though they didnt mean too, just made me feel worse. Hang in there love!!! We are hear for you and behind you 200%!! I think the counseling is awesome. I am also glad Doc signed you off for another week. Big hugs!!
OK ladies this is the 5th day with NO headache!!!!!!!!!!!!
hrobinson-If I offended you by my post I am very sorry. I didn't mean to sound as if because you have one child that is doesn't hurt the same. Absolutely, you feel pain just like we do.
Angel-Where are you lovey? You usually have posted by now. You must be busy at work...do they really think you are there to work?? I mean, come on, at work is our "free time" without DH seeing we are on this site.
Becky- now where and the heck have you gone???? Hope everything is ok. Sure do miss your posts!!
Angie- You too love! You should be back to work by now... I guess I will just talk to myself today...
My sweet lovey Carolyn- Let me just say, you are one strong woman. You are an inspiration to us all. Well, only my mom and dad and sister know about our infertility and the fact we have to do IVF. I do not want to deal with everyones questions and dumb comments. Friends that you would think are pretty smart, turn dumb really fast with infertility. ie... "well at least you can still have a baby"...
Like IVF is 100%!! This is totally your decision if you want to tell certain people so you can talk to them, but let me just say that the 2 friends I did tell, they were not supportive and they just DO NOT know what we go through. They cannot understand how seeing a pg belly can make us tear up... or going to the store and seeing the baby section and feel gutted...my friends, even though they didnt mean too, just made me feel worse. Hang in there love!!! We are hear for you and behind you 200%!! I think the counseling is awesome. I am also glad Doc signed you off for another week. Big hugs!!
OK ladies this is the 5th day with NO headache!!!!!!!!!!!!
Carolyn,
Really good that RE signed you off work. Give yourself time to recover - both physically and emotionally. We understand how much it hurts.
Regarding telling others, only both set of our parents, and SIL and one set of close family friends know. My Mum was just as devastated as I was during the last failed cycle. While everyone does try to be supportive, at the end of the day you have to remember they don't completely understand the pain. They just feel bad seeing us in pain. During my last cycle, tmt wasn't at the most convenient time to others and SIL suggested delaying our cycle saying its not a big deal and we should delay tmt by a year if needed. Its not her fault, she can't comprehend the extent of our emotional feelings. While I was bawling my eyes out after my BFN, my MIL just sat there - she offered a few comforting words for all of 1 min, then complete silence. Again, its not her fault, she doesn't understand the concept of IF and doesn't know what to tell me. I'm only giving you this as an example to show you how even when people care, they may not exactly be in a position to necessarily help. On the other hand, the wife of this family friend is extremely supportive even though she has kids of her own. I too have thought that sometimes it would be nice to tell everyone directly about our IF but we decided it wasn't worth taking the risk. Apart from people being insensitive, there is the issue of people being judgemental. Not everyone is supportive and its difficult to pre judge people's reactions.
I think it also depends on how well you know the friends that you decide to tell. Good luck with making your decision.
Really good that RE signed you off work. Give yourself time to recover - both physically and emotionally. We understand how much it hurts.
Regarding telling others, only both set of our parents, and SIL and one set of close family friends know. My Mum was just as devastated as I was during the last failed cycle. While everyone does try to be supportive, at the end of the day you have to remember they don't completely understand the pain. They just feel bad seeing us in pain. During my last cycle, tmt wasn't at the most convenient time to others and SIL suggested delaying our cycle saying its not a big deal and we should delay tmt by a year if needed. Its not her fault, she can't comprehend the extent of our emotional feelings. While I was bawling my eyes out after my BFN, my MIL just sat there - she offered a few comforting words for all of 1 min, then complete silence. Again, its not her fault, she doesn't understand the concept of IF and doesn't know what to tell me. I'm only giving you this as an example to show you how even when people care, they may not exactly be in a position to necessarily help. On the other hand, the wife of this family friend is extremely supportive even though she has kids of her own. I too have thought that sometimes it would be nice to tell everyone directly about our IF but we decided it wasn't worth taking the risk. Apart from people being insensitive, there is the issue of people being judgemental. Not everyone is supportive and its difficult to pre judge people's reactions.
I think it also depends on how well you know the friends that you decide to tell. Good luck with making your decision.