Hi guys,
bad news... I found pink spotting in my panty liner this morning. I left a message at the clinic, and they called me back; I had a beta done and the nurse will call me back with the result in about an hour. Since then, the spotting has turned into red bleeding. The gynecologist refused to do an ultrasound, but it's understandable because he wouldn't have seen anything. He said we might do betas every second day until Sunday, when I'll probably have an ultrasound if I don't miscarry until then.
I'm trying not to freak out, I know it could be nothing, irritation from the inserts, expansion of my uterus, and so on. I'm more sad and angry than anxious. And apprehensive of the emotional limbo we might be in this week.
I still don't have the heart to tell my husband... so I thought I could tell you... hope you don't mind... I guess I just needed to talk to you guys...
more when I know more... trying to keep up the PMA!
Sophie xxox
Awaiting Treatment
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Welshgirl38
- Valued Contributor
- Posts: 1653
- Joined: Mon Aug 21, 2006 12:46 pm
Sophie Sweetheart ....
I cant imagine what u are going thru right now. I want to tell u to be positive an to keep ur hopes up - and i want to say im sorry an send u hugs, but the truth is, neither of us know how this is gonna pan out, im afraid from here on in it is a waiting game until u get ur Beta results.
Im so sorry ur having to go thru this without telling ur hubby, of course u can tell us anything u want, this is what we are here for - each other! I dont want to even imagine the conversation u will be having (hopefully u wont be having) but please know hun that my thoughts are with you and i am praying so hard for u right now ....
Let us know as soon as u can
Thinking of you honey ....
Becky Xxxx
I cant imagine what u are going thru right now. I want to tell u to be positive an to keep ur hopes up - and i want to say im sorry an send u hugs, but the truth is, neither of us know how this is gonna pan out, im afraid from here on in it is a waiting game until u get ur Beta results.
Im so sorry ur having to go thru this without telling ur hubby, of course u can tell us anything u want, this is what we are here for - each other! I dont want to even imagine the conversation u will be having (hopefully u wont be having) but please know hun that my thoughts are with you and i am praying so hard for u right now ....
Let us know as soon as u can
Thinking of you honey ....
Becky Xxxx
1 IVF=BFN 2 IVF=BFN 3 IVF=BFP
m/c @ 8 wks 
4 IVF=BFNWe must now let go of the life we had planned, to live the life waiting for us..
Adoption course starts March 19th
Sophie,
Just logged on and saw your post. This waiting game is cruel, but at the moment, you can only wait and pray. I'm sure you must be going through a whole load of emotions, but until you get your results back please promise that you will at least try to be optimistic.
And of course you can share anything you like with us. Thats what we're here for. (((((Massive hugs to you))))))))). And I really do pray that you get some reassuring news.
Keep us informed.
Just logged on and saw your post. This waiting game is cruel, but at the moment, you can only wait and pray. I'm sure you must be going through a whole load of emotions, but until you get your results back please promise that you will at least try to be optimistic.
And of course you can share anything you like with us. Thats what we're here for. (((((Massive hugs to you))))))))). And I really do pray that you get some reassuring news.
Keep us informed.
Sophie- My heart just sank reading your post. However, remain positive. I started spotting with my first IVF at about week 6. It was bright red and scared me to death. Dr wasn't overly concerned as everything looked good. I spotted, sometimes a bunch until my dd was born. She is absolutely perfect. I just think some people spot. I will say that the spotting started right after sex, so we refrained during my whole pregnancy!!! Now that is will power. Keep up the PMA, and I will keep you in my prayers.
Angel, hrobinson,
THANK YOU SO MUCH for your replies... they really helped me not feel too alone in all this. Your words brought me great comfort, and I really appreciate your attitude, because it's exactly what I need at the moment. You're really something, you lovely ladies! *MASSIVE HUGS TO YOU TOO*
Okay, the nurse called. It was Susan, my top favorite nurse who really seems to care about me. The news is fantastic. My beta is 6708. This is well above what it should be today. I took my first beta and calculated a normal progression, doubling the number every second day. I should be 3906 today, but my beta is 6708, it's even higher than what it should be tomorrow. At least we know that the baby is growing exponentially... any maybe that I have twins, who knows... because a lady on another thread pointed out to me that she and I had the exact same first beta, and she's expecting twins.
So the doctor wants me to come tomorrow for an ultrasound; he says we should see something with a beta like that. I'm extremely skeptical, and happy at the same time, and apprehensive too. When I was rushed into the ER last time, my beta was 18000, and the doctor was convinced we would see something. When we didn't see the HB, he told me point blank that I was miscarrying. They found the HB two days later, and told me my miscarriage risks had dropped to around 5 %. Two days after that, they did a courtesy ultrasound and DH and I both saw the little heartbeat. Two days after that, I had my normal apt at the clinic, and the baby had passed away.
So as much as I wish to think an ultrasound would reassure me... I'm not sure it will. Though hearing that nice beta today does lift my spirits. it's silly, in part, because I still miscarried last time despite my super excellent beta... but it's a waiting game indeed...
A department called me to see a patient... I'll go; it will change my mind.
Take care lovely ladies... I'll write news as soon as I can. The ultrasound will be tomorrow morning towards 8am.
Hugs,
Sophie
(so sorry I'm not doing personals...)
THANK YOU SO MUCH for your replies... they really helped me not feel too alone in all this. Your words brought me great comfort, and I really appreciate your attitude, because it's exactly what I need at the moment. You're really something, you lovely ladies! *MASSIVE HUGS TO YOU TOO*
Okay, the nurse called. It was Susan, my top favorite nurse who really seems to care about me. The news is fantastic. My beta is 6708. This is well above what it should be today. I took my first beta and calculated a normal progression, doubling the number every second day. I should be 3906 today, but my beta is 6708, it's even higher than what it should be tomorrow. At least we know that the baby is growing exponentially... any maybe that I have twins, who knows... because a lady on another thread pointed out to me that she and I had the exact same first beta, and she's expecting twins.
So the doctor wants me to come tomorrow for an ultrasound; he says we should see something with a beta like that. I'm extremely skeptical, and happy at the same time, and apprehensive too. When I was rushed into the ER last time, my beta was 18000, and the doctor was convinced we would see something. When we didn't see the HB, he told me point blank that I was miscarrying. They found the HB two days later, and told me my miscarriage risks had dropped to around 5 %. Two days after that, they did a courtesy ultrasound and DH and I both saw the little heartbeat. Two days after that, I had my normal apt at the clinic, and the baby had passed away.
So as much as I wish to think an ultrasound would reassure me... I'm not sure it will. Though hearing that nice beta today does lift my spirits. it's silly, in part, because I still miscarried last time despite my super excellent beta... but it's a waiting game indeed...
A department called me to see a patient... I'll go; it will change my mind.
Take care lovely ladies... I'll write news as soon as I can. The ultrasound will be tomorrow morning towards 8am.
Hugs,
Sophie
(so sorry I'm not doing personals...)
1st and 2nd IVF = BFN 1st FET BFP! m/c at 7 weeks. 2nd FET BFP! 3rd FET BFN
Now let's spend the rest of our lives having fun together!
Now let's spend the rest of our lives having fun together!
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Welshgirl38
- Valued Contributor
- Posts: 1653
- Joined: Mon Aug 21, 2006 12:46 pm
another update...
The bleeding has stopped. In fact, the spotting has stopped. It's really strange. I mean, I first found a big pink spot in my panty liner, and by the time I got to the clinic, I had a few drops of diluted red blood and it showed on the toilet paper... bright red freckles. So naturally I thought I had started bleeding. But just a few minutes ago, I inserted my progesterone and there was no trace of blood on my finger. And my panty liner, well... has pink or normal discharge on it. And now I feel both relieved that the bleeding didn't occur.. and a bit stupid because I gave you a scare and might have freaked out for nothing.
should I crawl under a rock?
Ugh... it's just that my miscarriage happened exactly that way last time, almost to the day!!!
Wait and see... wait and see.
Steph,
Thank you for your congratulations!
And congrats yourself! :D I'm really sorry that the doctor pulled you out of work... I hope you'll find creative ways to stay entertained for the remaining of your pregnancy! And that your body won't give you another scare like that! Remember your princess status!!!
Angel,
Ack! Sorry your boss didn't come back yesterday!!! Is he in today at least???? Oh, I really hope things slow down a bit for you, what a stress that must be! I mean, let's be realistic.. NOBODY can expect you to manage that much work alone! So please don't expect that from yourself!!!:D *HUGS* Hang in there sweetie!
Welshbugger,
I realise I forgot to name you in my previous post, and I'm sorry!!! I meant you too!!! Thank you so much for your message!!! Exactly what I needed to hear dear! Don't worry about DH... I just don't want to call him each time something bizarre shows up in my underwear, LOL! I tell him enough about my symptoms already! DH is still very cautious with the pregnancy, he hasn't bonded emotionally with the baby yet, so the conversation won't be that hard on him. It's just that it's been quite a marathon, and at some point you just get tired of things getting complicated all the time. So, yeah, at this point we're more tired of the whole marathon thing and we're just looking forward to the point where we'll be able to sit back and relax. How are you doing dear? Thank you for your prayers. *HUGS*
Miracle, Carolyn, nimble, and any other I might forget... how are you??
Love,
Sophie xxox
The bleeding has stopped. In fact, the spotting has stopped. It's really strange. I mean, I first found a big pink spot in my panty liner, and by the time I got to the clinic, I had a few drops of diluted red blood and it showed on the toilet paper... bright red freckles. So naturally I thought I had started bleeding. But just a few minutes ago, I inserted my progesterone and there was no trace of blood on my finger. And my panty liner, well... has pink or normal discharge on it. And now I feel both relieved that the bleeding didn't occur.. and a bit stupid because I gave you a scare and might have freaked out for nothing.
should I crawl under a rock? Ugh... it's just that my miscarriage happened exactly that way last time, almost to the day!!!
Wait and see... wait and see.
Steph,
Thank you for your congratulations!
And congrats yourself! :D I'm really sorry that the doctor pulled you out of work... I hope you'll find creative ways to stay entertained for the remaining of your pregnancy! And that your body won't give you another scare like that! Remember your princess status!!!Angel,
Ack! Sorry your boss didn't come back yesterday!!! Is he in today at least???? Oh, I really hope things slow down a bit for you, what a stress that must be! I mean, let's be realistic.. NOBODY can expect you to manage that much work alone! So please don't expect that from yourself!!!
:D *HUGS* Hang in there sweetie!Welshbugger,
I realise I forgot to name you in my previous post, and I'm sorry!!! I meant you too!!! Thank you so much for your message!!! Exactly what I needed to hear dear! Don't worry about DH... I just don't want to call him each time something bizarre shows up in my underwear, LOL! I tell him enough about my symptoms already! DH is still very cautious with the pregnancy, he hasn't bonded emotionally with the baby yet, so the conversation won't be that hard on him. It's just that it's been quite a marathon, and at some point you just get tired of things getting complicated all the time. So, yeah, at this point we're more tired of the whole marathon thing and we're just looking forward to the point where we'll be able to sit back and relax. How are you doing dear? Thank you for your prayers. *HUGS*
Miracle, Carolyn, nimble, and any other I might forget... how are you??
Love,
Sophie xxox
1st and 2nd IVF = BFN 1st FET BFP! m/c at 7 weeks. 2nd FET BFP! 3rd FET BFN
Now let's spend the rest of our lives having fun together!
Now let's spend the rest of our lives having fun together!
Hey PMA, thats a huge relief. Glad things have settled down. With this whole IVF rollercoaster, its difficult to just relax. You know what, it could well be twins. Spotting is common with multiples isn't it? Here's hoping you see 2 sacs today. And make sure you let us know as soon as you get back
Becky - how are you? Has AF arrived yet? When do you start your next ride on this scary rollercoaster??
Miracle - are you still out celebrating the looong weekend? Tell your boss you need to catch up on your mail/ friends today.
Carolyn - How are you? Any progress on the overseas clinics?
Hrobinson - hope your DD is better now.
Talk to you later.
Becky - how are you? Has AF arrived yet? When do you start your next ride on this scary rollercoaster??
Miracle - are you still out celebrating the looong weekend? Tell your boss you need to catch up on your mail/ friends today.
Carolyn - How are you? Any progress on the overseas clinics?
Hrobinson - hope your DD is better now.
Talk to you later.
Besides which if we did that for every time we panicked about something we would all be living under rocks. -
Welshgirl38
- Valued Contributor
- Posts: 1653
- Joined: Mon Aug 21, 2006 12:46 pm
Morning Ladies
Soph: So glad to hear that the spotting has stopped, it must be such a relief to you (and us!) Good luck at ur scan ... hope all goes well, let us know as soon as u can, we will be waiting patiently at our desks
xxxx
Angel: No AF yet. Last few AF's (about 4 times) i have had mid cycle spotting when im ovulating, so i havent even had that yet, so i know its a while away, at least 3 weeks, mite even be more! So i know i have at least 6 weeks before i start injecting What about u? When do u start??
I have just started going to aqua aerobics too - Tues and Thurs evenings, my neighbour comes with me, its great fun - but tiering - im sure i will get used to it lol, also we are joing slimming class next Monday. I know ive joined so many timesbefore on my own, but having someone with me will give me the boost i need. Ive always done well on it when ive been with friends - just last year i lost 11lb for SIL's wedding when i went with MIL - so am looking fwd to losing a few lbs - not looking fwd to going back to no sweet things tho!
Anyhow, hope everyone is well and enjoying this wonderful weather we are having - NOT!!!! Ive had a titful of the rain, an i mean a TITFUL!
Ah well, its mid week lottery tonight - suppose i better go out an get meself a ticket - i can all but try ....
Xxxx
Soph: So glad to hear that the spotting has stopped, it must be such a relief to you (and us!) Good luck at ur scan ... hope all goes well, let us know as soon as u can, we will be waiting patiently at our desks
xxxxAngel: No AF yet. Last few AF's (about 4 times) i have had mid cycle spotting when im ovulating, so i havent even had that yet, so i know its a while away, at least 3 weeks, mite even be more! So i know i have at least 6 weeks before i start injecting
What about u? When do u start??I have just started going to aqua aerobics too - Tues and Thurs evenings, my neighbour comes with me, its great fun - but tiering - im sure i will get used to it lol, also we are joing slimming class next Monday. I know ive joined so many timesbefore on my own, but having someone with me will give me the boost i need. Ive always done well on it when ive been with friends - just last year i lost 11lb for SIL's wedding when i went with MIL - so am looking fwd to losing a few lbs - not looking fwd to going back to no sweet things tho!
Anyhow, hope everyone is well and enjoying this wonderful weather we are having - NOT!!!! Ive had a titful of the rain, an i mean a TITFUL!
Ah well, its mid week lottery tonight - suppose i better go out an get meself a ticket - i can all but try ....
Xxxx
1 IVF=BFN 2 IVF=BFN 3 IVF=BFP
m/c @ 8 wks 4 IVF=BFNWe must now let go of the life we had planned, to live the life waiting for us..
Adoption course starts March 19th
Becky, if I was living closer to you, we could go together for slimming classes. It always helps to have someone motivate you.
I do manage to lose weight when I try but the problem is that I do fall off the wagon quite often . Especially when someone makes a nasty comment or the whole tmt thing hits me. I know I shouldn't let others affect me, but we all know that doesn't happen.
I'm still trying to co-ordinate dates with the clinic. But yes, will start tmt soon (ish). But I'm also finding that I'm starting to get stressed out about it all, and comined with the work stress at the moment, I'm just feeling so overwhelmed. Poor DH, I took out all my anger and frustration on him over the weekend. I feel like a horrible person now. Been feeling guilty as hell.
It always helps to have someone motivate you. I do manage to lose weight when I try but the problem is that I do fall off the wagon quite often
. Especially when someone makes a nasty comment or the whole tmt thing hits me. I know I shouldn't let others affect me, but we all know that doesn't happen.I'm still trying to co-ordinate dates with the clinic. But yes, will start tmt soon (ish). But I'm also finding that I'm starting to get stressed out about it all, and comined with the work stress at the moment, I'm just feeling so overwhelmed. Poor DH, I took out all my anger and frustration on him over the weekend. I feel like a horrible person now.
Been feeling guilty as hell.-
Welshgirl38
- Valued Contributor
- Posts: 1653
- Joined: Mon Aug 21, 2006 12:46 pm
Angel Hun:
Im sure your DH understands what u are going thru. Just last week was absolute hell at our house (honest, i not just saying it to make u feel better lol) I know that i take a lot out on my DH an right now i too feel gulity an bad cos he is so drained at work (and home) an looks so stressed and tired, that i havent helped either. But he still loves me (i think lol) i told him last ngiht that i loved him, and he replied, i know u do - (thinking about it, he never said he loved me back
) oh heck!
All im saying hun, is that they go thru it too an they are always there for us, i know they feel things too but deffo not as much as we do. Its us that has to inject/sniff/scan/poke about - always us that has the hassle of being prodded left right an centre, us who's body goes all to cock during tmt (an before an after it too) us that has to struggle with weight issues to get where we want to be (when other women have no problem being 4 stone over weight an a big fat pregnant belly!!!)
Some things just aint fair .... and the only person we can take most of this out on, is the closest person to us = DH ..... they have to put up with us - we have to put up with everything ive written above - sounds fair to me lol
Xxxxxx
Im sure your DH understands what u are going thru. Just last week was absolute hell at our house (honest, i not just saying it to make u feel better lol) I know that i take a lot out on my DH an right now i too feel gulity an bad cos he is so drained at work (and home) an looks so stressed and tired, that i havent helped either. But he still loves me (i think lol) i told him last ngiht that i loved him, and he replied, i know u do - (thinking about it, he never said he loved me back
) oh heck!All im saying hun, is that they go thru it too an they are always there for us, i know they feel things too but deffo not as much as we do. Its us that has to inject/sniff/scan/poke about - always us that has the hassle of being prodded left right an centre, us who's body goes all to cock during tmt (an before an after it too) us that has to struggle with weight issues to get where we want to be (when other women have no problem being 4 stone over weight an a big fat pregnant belly!!!)
Some things just aint fair .... and the only person we can take most of this out on, is the closest person to us = DH ..... they have to put up with us - we have to put up with everything ive written above - sounds fair to me lol
Xxxxxx
1 IVF=BFN 2 IVF=BFN 3 IVF=BFP
m/c @ 8 wks 4 IVF=BFNWe must now let go of the life we had planned, to live the life waiting for us..
Adoption course starts March 19th
Ladies,Ladies,Ladies....
I leave you all for a couple of days and look at all the drama!!!!
Sorry I didnt post yesterday...really busy at work. I can't wait for inventory to be over with!!!!
ok...first things first...
Sophie!!! I almost had a heart attack when I was reading the post this morning...!!!! You CANNOT do that to me girl!!!
Seriously, I am so glad the spotting has stopped and your beta is fab!!! I understand your uneasiness b/c of your m/c. I know there is nothing anyone can say to ease your worries, but you, dh and baby are in my prayers. I believe everything will be ok. This is your time girl!!! Please let us know ASAP about your u/s.
Hey Angel!!! Sorry you are so stressed. I hope your stupid boss comes back and gives you some relief you so deserve. WOW...your tmt is coming up fast. I also understand your worries with starting tmt again. It must get overwhelming.
Hi Becky...how are you? Is your DD at school now??
hrobinson, hi there! How is your little girl? Is she all better? Did you go to your brothers as planned??
Ok ladies, I will check in again soon.
Chriss,Nims,Carolyn where are you girlies???
Angie, sending you big hugs...I am thinking of you.
I leave you all for a couple of days and look at all the drama!!!!
Sorry I didnt post yesterday...really busy at work. I can't wait for inventory to be over with!!!!
ok...first things first...
Sophie!!! I almost had a heart attack when I was reading the post this morning...!!!! You CANNOT do that to me girl!!!
Seriously, I am so glad the spotting has stopped and your beta is fab!!! I understand your uneasiness b/c of your m/c. I know there is nothing anyone can say to ease your worries, but you, dh and baby are in my prayers. I believe everything will be ok. This is your time girl!!! Please let us know ASAP about your u/s. Hey Angel!!! Sorry you are so stressed. I hope your stupid boss comes back and gives you some relief you so deserve. WOW...your tmt is coming up fast. I also understand your worries with starting tmt again. It must get overwhelming.
Hi Becky...how are you? Is your DD at school now??
hrobinson, hi there! How is your little girl? Is she all better? Did you go to your brothers as planned??
Ok ladies, I will check in again soon.
Chriss,Nims,Carolyn where are you girlies???
Angie, sending you big hugs...I am thinking of you.
Becky, thanks for that. Does make me feel a bit better, but I can't help thinking that this whole IF business has changed me so much. As you can tell today is just one of those days when I am feeling extremely guilty. I went off on one to say "oh, its ok for you to say that - not like you're going to get poked and have sore bums and feel bloated and all the rest of it......you still get to eat and drink what u like.........etc.". Becky, sounds like you had a similar sort of thing. Like yours, my DH too is worried about work and everything else and looks so tired. The stress makes him lose weight...............and me gain. 
The other thing that crossed my mind today was that its always difficult time that show a person's true colours - is this who I really am??? Miserable and horrid???
Ok, self pity over. I'm going to get a grip now. I am going to go home and give him a big hug and tell him I love him.
Becky, sounds like you had a similar sort of thing. Like yours, my DH too is worried about work and everything else and looks so tired. The stress makes him lose weight...............and me gain. The other thing that crossed my mind today was that its always difficult time that show a person's true colours - is this who I really am??? Miserable and horrid???
Ok, self pity over. I'm going to get a grip now. I am going to go home and give him a big hug and tell him I love him.