Hi ladies, sorry don't get much time these days, i do manage to read you all but run out of time for posting, am at work today so have time to catch up.
Sophie, congratulatios, i hope all continues to go well for you this time.
Wishful, sounds like you have good plans in place for DE, hope you get some goodresults from the clinics abroad. when do you go on holiday, i am very jelous i could kill for a week in the sun, my plan to go after i found out i was pregnant was blocked by the dr's so never got a holiday before the babies came.
becky, hope all is calming down in your house. i have a neice similar age to your daughter and she is just the same, i think it's just the kids of today everything is about material wealth. big hugs. are you cycling again soon?
Steph, glad you've finished work, it sounds like it's for the best, i mainly sit at my job and found it hard work in the later weeks. The babies are the most important. Enjoy the rest, it's crazy afterwards.
Angel, sorry your feeling low, hope you feel better soon.
Chriss, thinking of you, big hugs.
Miracle, always great to hear from you, you are so upbeat even though your treatment is always being delayed. keep smiling.
Sorry to all i've missed, i am thinking of you all and routing for you all to join us.
the boys are 2 months old now and are doing great. i am back to normal just getting weaned off the last of my tablets. No-one believes how well i look after what i have been through, i am just thankful i kept fit and active through the pregnancy. Also ladies i am back to my pre pregnancy weight!! but i now have to lose all the IVF weight!!
here is a link to photo's of the boys
http://picasaweb.google.com/jaynecolbec ... thkey=WwRp
catch you all soon
jayne
Awaiting Treatment
sorry missed a bit off the link try this:
http://picasaweb.google.com/jaynecolbec ... wRp-lyFOu8
jayne
http://picasaweb.google.com/jaynecolbec ... wRp-lyFOu8
jayne
Me 39, DH 40. TTC 5years
4th times a charm,1-IVF, 3xFET's, 2 chemical
Twin boys born 9/7/08
4th times a charm,1-IVF, 3xFET's, 2 chemical
Twin boys born 9/7/08
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wishfull27
- Valued Contributor
- Posts: 1580
- Joined: Mon Jul 23, 2007 8:01 pm
- Location: UK
That is it...everyone is in BIG trouble!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Angel...get the internet police rounded up!!! Where is everyone....
Beach!!! So good to hear from you! Those boys are absolutely perfect!!!! So beautiful!!! You must be so proud. How is DH? Are you guys still in aww??
Sophie-where are you????
Wishful, Angel,Becky...where are you girls??
Angie...thinking of you...hope you are ok.
Hi StephJim! As always nice to hear from you!!! Make sure you put some pics on myspace of the babies room!!!
Angel...get the internet police rounded up!!! Where is everyone....
Beach!!! So good to hear from you! Those boys are absolutely perfect!!!! So beautiful!!! You must be so proud. How is DH? Are you guys still in aww??
Sophie-where are you????
Wishful, Angel,Becky...where are you girls??
Angie...thinking of you...hope you are ok.
Hi StephJim! As always nice to hear from you!!! Make sure you put some pics on myspace of the babies room!!!
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wishfull27
- Valued Contributor
- Posts: 1580
- Joined: Mon Jul 23, 2007 8:01 pm
- Location: UK
Hi Mir - I am here briefly - just got back from work and need to go to gym - holiday get fit count down!!!
Did you have a good weekend ?? - do anything exciting??
It was lovely weather here in Uk so we just did jobs in the garden and enjoyed the rare sight of the sunshine
where is everyon else????
Did you have a good weekend ?? - do anything exciting??
It was lovely weather here in Uk so we just did jobs in the garden and enjoyed the rare sight of the sunshine
where is everyon else????
IVF 4 BFP
Good morning ladies,
Sorry I've been MIA, but it was due to several reasons. The exhaustion, busy schedule, my sister's visit this weekend, and also Chriss' comment. I felt bad after I read her post, because I realized some people did not voice their uneasiness clearly when I asked if it was still okay for me to post here. I understand her feelings, of course I do, but at the same time I'm disappointed it all happened that way (e.g., someone voicing their concern weeks later and leaving instead of speaking up at the beginning). So I guess if I want to prevent this from happening again, I will no longer discuss my pregnancy. Those of you who do want to have news about that are more than welcome to take a peek in the May 2009 mommies thread or simply pm me.
And there's yet one more reason! Becky!! She applied herself so much when she replied to my post, and was so open-hearted that she deserved a well-thought post in return. And now I can take the time. So first things first!
Becky!
Thanks for your post, dearest. It took a lot of courage to post all this, and I must say I admire you. It's often hard to take a real honest look at yourself and see the patterns you're in, the real causes for your behavior and choices, and so on. You said you're scared your moving with another man scarred her in some way and you feel responsible. You feel so guilty that you even assume she's traumatized deep down inside even if she tells you the contrary. The simple act of taking a child away from their biological parent is not necessarily as traumatic as you think. It all depends on the parent you leave behind and the context of the move. My parents divorced when I was 4. My mother probably has borderline personality disorder. She's always been a cold, severe woman who was everything but maternal. I was raised first by my grandparents, then by my father and his new wife. Although I never got along too well with the new wife (our personalities don't really match), I never resented my father from marrying her. I've always known, deep down inside, that my life would have been HORRIBLE if I had lived with my biological mother. Given what you said about your ex partner, I wouldn't be surprised if your daughter feels the same.
No matter how hard you try, hunny, you can't force your daughter to stay close to you or your husband. You certainly can't buy her love, whether with presents or with special attentions, and you can't heal imaginary scars that are born from your own fears. The best thing you can do is be yourself, let your DH be himself, try and create occasions in which you three can bond, but beyond that, you have to let go. A mother is radically different from a best friend! It's okay to feel close from her, to go shopping with her and to have fun and share secrets. It's one thing to be a friendly parent, and another thing to act like a best friend. You belong to two different generations, you have a whole series of life lessons behind you already. Take a minute and really think about your role with your daughter. Do you think she needs a buddy, or a mother? When she feels lost, and she needs the comfort, guidance and reassurance your maternal instinct can give her, do you think she'll need to turn to her buddy, or her mother? When it's time to make her understand that her choices are a big mistake and you need her to trust your judgement and experience, do you think she'll believe and respect her buddy, or her mother?
What I'm writing there must come as a disappointment to you... maybe you expected much much more from your relationship with your daughter. But in order to grieve that idealistic relationship, get more realistic expectations and adapt to your role as a mother, you do need to look elsewhere and find what your daughter can't give you. What about your own social network? What about your own friends?
Bottom line is, it's one thing to look back and see how your choices have caused your present situation. But feeling guilty and beating yourself over all this won't change anything. It will lower your self-esteem even more and I don't think you need that right now. Think about an alcoholic who's been sober for the past three years. He goes to a Xmas party and that year they have an open bar. Some of his cousins keep pestering him about taking just one shooter, that it won't harm him, won't cause a relapse, and so on. And eventually, he gives in and takes that one shooter. And then he realises he's put an end to three long years of sobriety. He thinks, "I'm just a darn alcoholic, and I know I'm no good!!! Better drown the whole bottle!" And he gets drunk for the rest of the night.
Feeling sorry for yourself over your mistakes won't do you any good. Instead of calling himself an alcoholic and a loser, that bloke should have taken a closer look at the causes of his taking that shooter. He might realize that the party was at a different uncle's and that there's always an open bar there. So, the environment was dangerous for him. Second, he might also realize that his family doesn't seem very aware of how sobriety is key to his recovery, and that it's a personal choice that's very important to him. So, his family may need to be explained a thing or two.
Same thing for you. It's quite obvious from your post that you're a very clever woman who can take a hard look at the situation and understand how things happened. Push that guilt aside, it's no use, and see how you can improve your current situation. One word of advice, though... the more you force yourself "not to" feel or think something, usually, the more you do. Just stopping might not be the answer (although it's a good idea to stop some of your beahviors, as you suggested). You might need to explore your expectations towards your daughter, and your dependent feelings as well. Think of how good it will feel once you're free from that burden and can just enjoy life without being constantly afraid of losing her! Once you deal with your craving for attention, as you called it, you can actually seek new and more adapted ways to be fulfilled in that area, and I bet it will work out wonderfully then. But right now, you can't ask your DH or your daughter to satisfy that hunger, it's too huge at the moment.
If you want, you can buy a nice book on Amazon. I'm currently translating it in French and it will be published here so my patients can benefit from it. That book might help you reach your goal. It's called "Awakening Self-Esteem", by Nezu and Nezu. You'll find it almost for a song on Amazon.com. Seriously, I'd recommend it to everyone! *HUGS*
http://www.amazon.com/Awakening-Self-Es ... 555&sr=8-1
Carolyn,
I'm really glad the clinics are calling back and that, at least, you're on a list! I hope you have a nice surprise down the road and can give it a try much sooner! Your vacation plans sound terrific!!!!!
Miracle,
Thinking of you dear! Sending lots of positive vibes!
Shantala,
Glad to have news sweetie! Wow, those jog interviews sound horrible!!!! I hope it works out thought!!!:D
Angel,
I'm really sorry to hear you're feeling down...
*HUGS* I hope you feel better soon. I hope you had a nice relaxing weekend!
beachbaby,
thank you so much for your comments! It's really great to have news! Congratulations on keeping fit, I know how hard it is!!!!
Okay, I have to see a hospitalized patient. But just a few words about me, I'm starting my first yoga class tonight! With my best friend Anne. I don't know what to expect... gah, my beautician is on maternity leave, and I have hary legs, lol, I'll have to wear sweat pants... But hey, at least I'll show up! Plus I'm glad I changed my schedule at work a little bit. I take a different train, and that way I have to walk every morning and every afternoon to and from the station. That also allows me to find a nice comfy seat every morning instead of fighting for a place in the stairs... I'm telling you, there's so many people you'd think we're heading for Auschwitz!!!!
Okay, take care guys, and have a great week!!
Sophie xxox
Sorry I've been MIA, but it was due to several reasons. The exhaustion, busy schedule, my sister's visit this weekend, and also Chriss' comment. I felt bad after I read her post, because I realized some people did not voice their uneasiness clearly when I asked if it was still okay for me to post here. I understand her feelings, of course I do, but at the same time I'm disappointed it all happened that way (e.g., someone voicing their concern weeks later and leaving instead of speaking up at the beginning). So I guess if I want to prevent this from happening again, I will no longer discuss my pregnancy. Those of you who do want to have news about that are more than welcome to take a peek in the May 2009 mommies thread or simply pm me.
And there's yet one more reason!
Becky!! She applied herself so much when she replied to my post, and was so open-hearted that she deserved a well-thought post in return. And now I can take the time. So first things first!Becky!
Thanks for your post, dearest. It took a lot of courage to post all this, and I must say I admire you. It's often hard to take a real honest look at yourself and see the patterns you're in, the real causes for your behavior and choices, and so on. You said you're scared your moving with another man scarred her in some way and you feel responsible. You feel so guilty that you even assume she's traumatized deep down inside even if she tells you the contrary. The simple act of taking a child away from their biological parent is not necessarily as traumatic as you think. It all depends on the parent you leave behind and the context of the move. My parents divorced when I was 4. My mother probably has borderline personality disorder. She's always been a cold, severe woman who was everything but maternal. I was raised first by my grandparents, then by my father and his new wife. Although I never got along too well with the new wife (our personalities don't really match), I never resented my father from marrying her. I've always known, deep down inside, that my life would have been HORRIBLE if I had lived with my biological mother. Given what you said about your ex partner, I wouldn't be surprised if your daughter feels the same.
No matter how hard you try, hunny, you can't force your daughter to stay close to you or your husband. You certainly can't buy her love, whether with presents or with special attentions, and you can't heal imaginary scars that are born from your own fears. The best thing you can do is be yourself, let your DH be himself, try and create occasions in which you three can bond, but beyond that, you have to let go. A mother is radically different from a best friend! It's okay to feel close from her, to go shopping with her and to have fun and share secrets. It's one thing to be a friendly parent, and another thing to act like a best friend. You belong to two different generations, you have a whole series of life lessons behind you already. Take a minute and really think about your role with your daughter. Do you think she needs a buddy, or a mother? When she feels lost, and she needs the comfort, guidance and reassurance your maternal instinct can give her, do you think she'll need to turn to her buddy, or her mother? When it's time to make her understand that her choices are a big mistake and you need her to trust your judgement and experience, do you think she'll believe and respect her buddy, or her mother?
What I'm writing there must come as a disappointment to you... maybe you expected much much more from your relationship with your daughter. But in order to grieve that idealistic relationship, get more realistic expectations and adapt to your role as a mother, you do need to look elsewhere and find what your daughter can't give you. What about your own social network? What about your own friends?
Bottom line is, it's one thing to look back and see how your choices have caused your present situation. But feeling guilty and beating yourself over all this won't change anything. It will lower your self-esteem even more and I don't think you need that right now. Think about an alcoholic who's been sober for the past three years. He goes to a Xmas party and that year they have an open bar. Some of his cousins keep pestering him about taking just one shooter, that it won't harm him, won't cause a relapse, and so on. And eventually, he gives in and takes that one shooter. And then he realises he's put an end to three long years of sobriety. He thinks, "I'm just a darn alcoholic, and I know I'm no good!!! Better drown the whole bottle!" And he gets drunk for the rest of the night.
Feeling sorry for yourself over your mistakes won't do you any good. Instead of calling himself an alcoholic and a loser, that bloke should have taken a closer look at the causes of his taking that shooter. He might realize that the party was at a different uncle's and that there's always an open bar there. So, the environment was dangerous for him. Second, he might also realize that his family doesn't seem very aware of how sobriety is key to his recovery, and that it's a personal choice that's very important to him. So, his family may need to be explained a thing or two.
Same thing for you. It's quite obvious from your post that you're a very clever woman who can take a hard look at the situation and understand how things happened. Push that guilt aside, it's no use, and see how you can improve your current situation. One word of advice, though... the more you force yourself "not to" feel or think something, usually, the more you do. Just stopping might not be the answer (although it's a good idea to stop some of your beahviors, as you suggested). You might need to explore your expectations towards your daughter, and your dependent feelings as well. Think of how good it will feel once you're free from that burden and can just enjoy life without being constantly afraid of losing her! Once you deal with your craving for attention, as you called it, you can actually seek new and more adapted ways to be fulfilled in that area, and I bet it will work out wonderfully then. But right now, you can't ask your DH or your daughter to satisfy that hunger, it's too huge at the moment.
If you want, you can buy a nice book on Amazon. I'm currently translating it in French and it will be published here so my patients can benefit from it. That book might help you reach your goal. It's called "Awakening Self-Esteem", by Nezu and Nezu. You'll find it almost for a song on Amazon.com. Seriously, I'd recommend it to everyone! *HUGS*
http://www.amazon.com/Awakening-Self-Es ... 555&sr=8-1
Carolyn,
I'm really glad the clinics are calling back and that, at least, you're on a list!
I hope you have a nice surprise down the road and can give it a try much sooner! Your vacation plans sound terrific!!!!!Miracle,
Thinking of you dear!
Sending lots of positive vibes!Shantala,
Glad to have news sweetie! Wow, those jog interviews sound horrible!!!! I hope it works out thought!!!
:DAngel,
I'm really sorry to hear you're feeling down...
*HUGS* I hope you feel better soon. I hope you had a nice relaxing weekend!beachbaby,
thank you so much for your comments!
It's really great to have news! Congratulations on keeping fit, I know how hard it is!!!! Okay, I have to see a hospitalized patient. But just a few words about me, I'm starting my first yoga class tonight! With my best friend Anne. I don't know what to expect... gah, my beautician is on maternity leave, and I have hary legs, lol, I'll have to wear sweat pants...
But hey, at least I'll show up! Plus I'm glad I changed my schedule at work a little bit. I take a different train, and that way I have to walk every morning and every afternoon to and from the station. That also allows me to find a nice comfy seat every morning instead of fighting for a place in the stairs... I'm telling you, there's so many people you'd think we're heading for Auschwitz!!!!Okay, take care guys, and have a great week!!
Sophie xxox
1st and 2nd IVF = BFN 1st FET BFP! m/c at 7 weeks. 2nd FET BFP! 3rd FET BFN
Now let's spend the rest of our lives having fun together!
Now let's spend the rest of our lives having fun together!
-
wishfull27
- Valued Contributor
- Posts: 1580
- Joined: Mon Jul 23, 2007 8:01 pm
- Location: UK
chriss wrote:Ouch Sophie,PMApsy wrote:Good morning ladies,
Sorry I've been MIA, but it was due to several reasons. The exhaustion, busy schedule, my sister's visit this weekend, and also Chriss' comment. I felt bad after I read her post, because I realized some people did not voice their uneasiness clearly when I asked if it was still okay for me to post here. I understand her feelings, of course I do, but at the same time I'm disappointed it all happened that way (e.g., someone voicing their concern weeks later and leaving instead of speaking up at the beginning). So I guess if I want to prevent this from happening again, I will no longer discuss my pregnancy. Those of you who do want to have news about that are more than welcome to take a peek in the May 2009 mommies thread or simply pm me.
You took my message very personally, assuming that I am leaving the thread because of you. I was expressing how I felt in general not placing any blame on you.
Sorry I didn't post so promptly. For one i'm not on the message board everyday and for another, it's really difficult to open up about it. Many people feel the way I feel but are afraid to say so. Really, think about it...How would you feel? Well, I guess I have to realize that not everyone can understand. This issue came up a few months ago before you began posting here, it's not a new concept. (Note the awaiting treatment two thread) I do wish you the very best with your pregnancy. Please don't get me wrong. It's really hard for some of us who have been trying for a very long time and have struggled so much along the way. Some days it's easier than others. But try to understand that it's difficult to say what I said. No one wants to be the bad guy. It really hurts. Your message to me was tough to read Sophie and of course I have to comment.
I've been on other sites before and I was always so impressed when someone would clearly post... "Pregnancy or baby mentioned" before they post. Some threads even clearly state it at the top. I know that we have never done that here. We are happy for our friends who make it. But try to understand how difficult it is to come forward and tell someone not to post about their pregnancy. Try to imagine how other's may feel because people feel it whether they admit it or not. Best of luck to you, I mean that sincerely.
Don't stop posting on my account, I will not be posting her anymore anyway. I just had to comment. I should not have even looked actually.
BELIEVE!
Morning ladies,
Chriss, really, my comment clearly piqued you, and it was not my intention. I'm really sorry that we're having this conversation right now, I wish we could have avoided it completely. I said I was disappointed that you didn't voice your concerns sooner, but I didn't blame you for it. And to understand my comment better, you must understand the context...
At the very beginning when I tiptoed here on this thread, I asked permission to everyone here. I was going through FET, I didn't find an appropriate cycle buddies thread, and I wondered if I belonged to this thread or the "part two" thread. The ladies here were quite enthusiastic and welcomed me with open arms, and I'm still incredibly grateful for it. I saw Shantala posting about her daughter, and nimble posting about her late labor, and everyone was chirpy and happy and I thought it was fine. When I became pregnant, I almost left right away because I knew my status might be difficult for some people. I talked about it openly and, then again, the response was quite enthusiastic and these ladies asked me to stay. They explained that the behavior that was irritating and lead to the "part two thread" was a bit extreme, like posting pics of the baby's room, and ultrasounds, and so on... They told me that a comment here and there was not the end of the world. Each time they did personal posts, they asked questions about my pregnancy so of course, I felt at ease to post about it and answer their friendly questions.
Then two weeks later, roughly a month and a half after I started posting here, you voiced concerns that related to my behavior and of course I felt bad about posting pregnancy-related stuff. Your comment made me realise the possibility that some people were uneasy with my presence on the thread and didn't voice it. Although it's impossible to please everybody, I sincerely thought I had respected the people on this thread by asking their permission several times. So of course I'm disappointed that you didn't voice your concerns before, because I understand them and I really, really wish I could have been warned sooner. You know what would have happened then? I would have happily geared my posts towards all the other stuff going on right now just so I could keep chatting with the wonderful ladies on this thread and keep in touch with how they're doing. I would have left the pregnancy-related stuff for another thread, as simple as that. And all this unpleasant business would never have taken place, and you would still be happily posting here, which is my wish!
I hear you on not wanting to be the bad guy, Chriss. With Becky, I remember very well, we voiced those concerns on another thread two years ago and the reactions were unbelievable. Some people just don't understand that sometimes, you don't want to hear about success stories because they make you feel discouraged, feel that your situation is unfair, and so on. And sometimes, usually when you're cycling, they make you feel good and give you hope it might happen to you after all. I always like to mention that IVFer who shows her IVF baby pictures to everyone she can in her clinic's waiting room, thinking it will give them hope. If she had done that to me, I swear, I would have punched her in the face. You're not the bad guy, and I understand your position deeply.
So Chriss, what do you say we make peace, you and I? I hope you understand a bit better where I come from, so to speak... and I hope we can find a way to both feel comfortable posting here. There's nothing wrong in voicing your concerns. Given that you're not cycling right now, you belong on this thread and it would really be too bad if you left without giving it another try.
Take care,
Sophie
Chriss, really, my comment clearly piqued you, and it was not my intention. I'm really sorry that we're having this conversation right now, I wish we could have avoided it completely.
I said I was disappointed that you didn't voice your concerns sooner, but I didn't blame you for it. And to understand my comment better, you must understand the context...At the very beginning when I tiptoed here on this thread, I asked permission to everyone here. I was going through FET, I didn't find an appropriate cycle buddies thread, and I wondered if I belonged to this thread or the "part two" thread. The ladies here were quite enthusiastic and welcomed me with open arms, and I'm still incredibly grateful for it. I saw Shantala posting about her daughter, and nimble posting about her late labor, and everyone was chirpy and happy and I thought it was fine. When I became pregnant, I almost left right away because I knew my status might be difficult for some people. I talked about it openly and, then again, the response was quite enthusiastic and these ladies asked me to stay. They explained that the behavior that was irritating and lead to the "part two thread" was a bit extreme, like posting pics of the baby's room, and ultrasounds, and so on... They told me that a comment here and there was not the end of the world. Each time they did personal posts, they asked questions about my pregnancy so of course, I felt at ease to post about it and answer their friendly questions.
Then two weeks later, roughly a month and a half after I started posting here, you voiced concerns that related to my behavior and of course I felt bad about posting pregnancy-related stuff. Your comment made me realise the possibility that some people were uneasy with my presence on the thread and didn't voice it. Although it's impossible to please everybody, I sincerely thought I had respected the people on this thread by asking their permission several times. So of course I'm disappointed that you didn't voice your concerns before, because I understand them and I really, really wish I could have been warned sooner. You know what would have happened then? I would have happily geared my posts towards all the other stuff going on right now just so I could keep chatting with the wonderful ladies on this thread and keep in touch with how they're doing. I would have left the pregnancy-related stuff for another thread, as simple as that. And all this unpleasant business would never have taken place, and you would still be happily posting here, which is my wish!
I hear you on not wanting to be the bad guy, Chriss. With Becky, I remember very well, we voiced those concerns on another thread two years ago and the reactions were unbelievable. Some people just don't understand that sometimes, you don't want to hear about success stories because they make you feel discouraged, feel that your situation is unfair, and so on. And sometimes, usually when you're cycling, they make you feel good and give you hope it might happen to you after all. I always like to mention that IVFer who shows her IVF baby pictures to everyone she can in her clinic's waiting room, thinking it will give them hope. If she had done that to me, I swear, I would have punched her in the face. You're not the bad guy, and I understand your position deeply.
So Chriss, what do you say we make peace, you and I? I hope you understand a bit better where I come from, so to speak... and I hope we can find a way to both feel comfortable posting here. There's nothing wrong in voicing your concerns. Given that you're not cycling right now, you belong on this thread and it would really be too bad if you left without giving it another try.
Take care,
Sophie
1st and 2nd IVF = BFN 1st FET BFP! m/c at 7 weeks. 2nd FET BFP! 3rd FET BFN
Now let's spend the rest of our lives having fun together!
Now let's spend the rest of our lives having fun together!
Sophie,
When I posted a few days ago telling the girls that it was difficult for me to post, I was not intending to hurt your feelings or disappoint you. I was expressing my sadness and how I did not feel comfort. I wasn't really thinking of you specifically.
You mention how I did not speak up sooner, I was really not on the site much when you first hopped aboard. I was dealing with another BFN and wondering if I was going to post at all. I just wanted my old friends to know that I was thinking of them and not "ditching" them, just going thru a tough time. Throughout the months I've been posting less and less.
Seems like everywhere I turn there are pregnant women. At work, with friends and within my family. This site was a bit of a respite.
You mention regret about having this conversation and how unpleasant it is for you, but I don't feel that way. I feel that it is necessary and beneficial to get things out in the open. If only it was so easy to admit the things that hurt us. But, people sometimes need time to be able to express themselves. And people can feel differently about things depending on the day or mood, etc. And some people say nothing and keep the pleasantries up for the sake of the group.
When you say we should make peace. I never thought we were not at peace. I do not feel any animosity toward you. You should keep posting on the site. I am glad that you have connected with these great ladies.
I am going thru a challenging time in my life. I expressed how it was difficult for me to post on the site. My intentions were not to offend you.
I am just looking for some comfort I suppose.
When I posted a few days ago telling the girls that it was difficult for me to post, I was not intending to hurt your feelings or disappoint you. I was expressing my sadness and how I did not feel comfort. I wasn't really thinking of you specifically.
You mention how I did not speak up sooner, I was really not on the site much when you first hopped aboard. I was dealing with another BFN and wondering if I was going to post at all. I just wanted my old friends to know that I was thinking of them and not "ditching" them, just going thru a tough time. Throughout the months I've been posting less and less.
Seems like everywhere I turn there are pregnant women. At work, with friends and within my family. This site was a bit of a respite.
You mention regret about having this conversation and how unpleasant it is for you, but I don't feel that way. I feel that it is necessary and beneficial to get things out in the open. If only it was so easy to admit the things that hurt us. But, people sometimes need time to be able to express themselves. And people can feel differently about things depending on the day or mood, etc. And some people say nothing and keep the pleasantries up for the sake of the group.
When you say we should make peace. I never thought we were not at peace. I do not feel any animosity toward you. You should keep posting on the site. I am glad that you have connected with these great ladies.
I am going thru a challenging time in my life. I expressed how it was difficult for me to post on the site. My intentions were not to offend you.
I am just looking for some comfort I suppose.
BELIEVE!
Hi Chriss,
On my part, everything was said. All I can say now is that I'm truly sorry you're going through a difficult time right now. I've had my share of BFNs, even one very difficult miscarriage, and I can completely relate to what you're going through. I know how difficult it is to see pregnant women, especially those who seem to have it "easy" and don't have to go through as much as we have to. It's especially hard to see someone have their baby the month you would have been due, see big bellies in the subway or on the street, walk by baby stores, be invited to showers and so on. And all that time you're stuck with the impossible treatment fees, you shoot yourself with tons of meds, you go through painful procedures and you can't even rely on the guarantee that it will work one day. All this is pretty unfair indeed.
The important thing is, we're here for you. I may not be the best person to give you comfort right now, but at least I can tell you that I feel for you. Those moments are very hard, but they don't last forever. You'll get out of it, find new strengths and find happiness again, I'm sure. In the meantime, I hope the people around you, who love you and care for you, are there to pamper you and listen to you whenever you need to, even if they're clumsy most of the time. Above all, I hope you give yourself the right to feel that way, and take good care of yourself.
I hope you will keep posting here because it's okay to feel down and the lovely ladies of this thread are there for those moments too. It's not about sharing the joys only.
Take care,
Sophie
On my part, everything was said. All I can say now is that I'm truly sorry you're going through a difficult time right now. I've had my share of BFNs, even one very difficult miscarriage, and I can completely relate to what you're going through. I know how difficult it is to see pregnant women, especially those who seem to have it "easy" and don't have to go through as much as we have to. It's especially hard to see someone have their baby the month you would have been due, see big bellies in the subway or on the street, walk by baby stores, be invited to showers and so on. And all that time you're stuck with the impossible treatment fees, you shoot yourself with tons of meds, you go through painful procedures and you can't even rely on the guarantee that it will work one day. All this is pretty unfair indeed.
The important thing is, we're here for you. I may not be the best person to give you comfort right now, but at least I can tell you that I feel for you. Those moments are very hard, but they don't last forever. You'll get out of it, find new strengths and find happiness again, I'm sure. In the meantime, I hope the people around you, who love you and care for you, are there to pamper you and listen to you whenever you need to, even if they're clumsy most of the time. Above all, I hope you give yourself the right to feel that way, and take good care of yourself.
I hope you will keep posting here because it's okay to feel down and the lovely ladies of this thread are there for those moments too. It's not about sharing the joys only.
Take care,
Sophie
1st and 2nd IVF = BFN 1st FET BFP! m/c at 7 weeks. 2nd FET BFP! 3rd FET BFN
Now let's spend the rest of our lives having fun together!
Now let's spend the rest of our lives having fun together!
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wishfull27
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