Thread for those TTC many years

[baobao]

Hi ladies,

I've been off the MB for a while now, not sure why I checked in today, probably feeling the blues and needed some lift-me-ups. Glad to find your thread

Been TTC for 4 yrs now, CLomid didn't work, 4 failed IUIs, 3 fresh IVF cycles of which only 1 fresh embryo was ever transferred (OHSS the first cycle, LH surge the second cycle). Did 4 FETs with 1, 2 and 3 embryos and still no success. Down to my last 3 embryos and will be doing FET in Oct. In my early 30s, mild PCOS, hysteroscopy cleared, DH problem with motility. So there you have it, my infertility history.

The MB has been a great help during the cycles, but it gets harder each time when you see your fellow cycling mates getting BFPs and you always ending up with the BFNs. Jealousy surfaced inevitably, and after awhile I just couldn't take it and left the MB. Don't get me wrong, I am happy for those who have BFPs, cos it means I still have hope. But on the other hand, I wonder why is it never me?

I will never be able to understand the amount of pain suffered by people who get BFPs only to lose them later, my heart goes out to them. But at least they did manage to get BFPs. Please don't take this the wrong way, it's just that after 5 transfers I've never had a BFP, implantation seems to be the problem and there is no cure for that! There was never even a glimmer of hope that I could be pregnant, even for a day. How sad can it be?

Whether this is your first attempt or your XXth attempt, every attempt is a nerve-wrecking and emotionally draining experience. How people find the strength to do it year after year, cycle after cycle, I can only attribute to their strong character. Hence, I absolute abhor comments like "your time will come" or "God has plans for you" (I'm atheist btw). I just think when you meet people in our situations, and if you don't know what to say, the best is to keep your mouth shut.

I'm at an age where all my friends are getting pregnant or having their 2nd, 3rd kid, and it's hard to deal with it. I suppose Ive also become a little antisocial, but heaven forbid, bitter?! Sigh, it just isn't easy is it.

Anyway, thanks for listening girls, I really hope we can all get out of this thread and progress to one that says 'first time mums'. Baby dust to all.

[sprouthaus]

Hi Ladies,

It is so comforting to hear everyone's stories. I am in an IVF cycle at the moment and have been awful nervous - it is helpful to know that I am not alone. DH and I have been trying for almost 3 years - I know this isn't a "long" time, but DH was married before and that marriage ended partly as a result of their inability to conceive. I am 34 and DH is 41 (low count) - we both travel for work, so this process hasn't been easy for us at all. I think that is where most of our frustration comes in.

We did 3 cycles of Clomid with no success. We attempted an IVF cycle in May, but I didn't respond, so it was cancelled after 4 days of stim. I was very suprised by this and my RE also said she was suprised as I had responded so well to Clomid. We are currently attempting IVF again and I seem to be responding this time - but we'll see how many embies come out of this - I don't know what is good or average or anything, I am just hoping for the best.

Meanwhile, I have two sisters who have gotten pregnant without any problems! I am THRILLED for them and love being an aunt - but my one sister has a husband with such poor sperm that their doctor told them it would never happen - and BOOM, they are pregnant. Another sister opted to go with a SD, with vaginal insertion and BOOM, after one afternoon - she is pregnant (no drugs, nothing).

I am desparately hoping that IVF will work as my husband hasn't come around to the idea of adoption yet - and for all I know, he never will. I am keeping you all in my thoughts and wish you all tons of baby dust!

Me: 34, DH: 41, TTC 3yrs
3 IUI
IVF #1 - May/08, discontinued
IVF#2 - Sep/08, ER b/w 9/28-10/2

[Melo_P]

With all my heart I hope there is success there for each and everyone on this thread. This is such a hard journey to go through - and it definitely gets harder with all the attempts and years of trying.

It took me around 8 years to get pregnant - I only consider the last five hellish though - thats when the medical appointments and waiting and desperation at feeling infertile started, there were months that I literally just wished I didn't exist anymore because I couldn't face another day.

We were blessed finally with our DD – and so I know that no matter how hard this gets and how long - as long as you have hope - there is a chance.

Well wishes and positive vibes and baby dust to you all! Of everyone on these message boards – I really believe those of you guys who have been going through this for many years deserve success.

Best

Mel