Caz and Jen, Its great that you might be cycle buddies, I can keep an eye on both of you at the same time!!
In my experience, the second AF after IVF is definitely the iffy one, you would think it would screw up the first one more, but after my first IVF the second period, was late, heavier and more painful!!! I am now awaiting the second AF this time (due any day now) after last IVF so am sure I will be in for the same joyful pleasures!!! Won't be cycling with you two yet as the appointment with my consultant in on Friday this week so will definitely miss this cycle.
Anyway, will be watching for both your developments.
Trace, keep us up to date with your news too! I think we are all really worried about the donor situation, I feel the choices are going to be severely limited and I suppose it depends on what you are prepared to accept but we would really only want a close match so of course there may be no options!! How do the rest of you feel about close matching to your DHs? Would love to hear any opinions.
Millie x
DI pals 2
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Guest
Hi Guys
Millie - We are definately worried about the donor situation as this whole nonsense will definately cause shortages.
We definately want a match for DH and he is a difficult one as he is tall, blonde with a sallow complexion.........not an easy on to find!!!
I think if we were really pushed we would go for my characteristics - I'm dead common!!! Average height with brown (now highlighted!!!) hair!
All joking aside, it is going to be difficult but we have a donor for this time and we will just have to take it as it comes for later on if we fail.
Does anyone know what the situation is in the US and any info on shipping them in??
Hope you are all well??
I'm off to walk my dog and then read millions of magazines
JenFxx
Millie - We are definately worried about the donor situation as this whole nonsense will definately cause shortages.
We definately want a match for DH and he is a difficult one as he is tall, blonde with a sallow complexion.........not an easy on to find!!!
I think if we were really pushed we would go for my characteristics - I'm dead common!!! Average height with brown (now highlighted!!!) hair!
All joking aside, it is going to be difficult but we have a donor for this time and we will just have to take it as it comes for later on if we fail.
Does anyone know what the situation is in the US and any info on shipping them in??
Hope you are all well??
I'm off to walk my dog and then read millions of magazines
JenFxx
hi girls
had di today fely really positive then you guessed it my friend phones to say she is 6 weeks pg after trying for 2 months. Do not get me wrong i'm really happy for her but just wish it was me.
On the donor match I have not worried about getting a match. Have you looked at other children who have the same parents they can be so different.I just want us to have a healthy baby. You can stress about a match and it might not work any way.I feel if you are trying to match up to your hb you have not got your head around using a donor you are not having your dh genes. Who is to say that if you had your own baby that hair and eye colour will match. The only thing I know for sure is that when are baby is born he or she will greatly loved by both of us.
My sister has a child from a one night stand many years ago and her hb is fantastic with him. They have a child together and they do not treat them any different. People are always saying how alike father and son are but the other man is so different from her hb.So they did not match at all.
well hope I have not gone on to much and I do not want to offend anyone.
catch up soon
july ann
had di today fely really positive then you guessed it my friend phones to say she is 6 weeks pg after trying for 2 months. Do not get me wrong i'm really happy for her but just wish it was me.
On the donor match I have not worried about getting a match. Have you looked at other children who have the same parents they can be so different.I just want us to have a healthy baby. You can stress about a match and it might not work any way.I feel if you are trying to match up to your hb you have not got your head around using a donor you are not having your dh genes. Who is to say that if you had your own baby that hair and eye colour will match. The only thing I know for sure is that when are baby is born he or she will greatly loved by both of us.
My sister has a child from a one night stand many years ago and her hb is fantastic with him. They have a child together and they do not treat them any different. People are always saying how alike father and son are but the other man is so different from her hb.So they did not match at all.
well hope I have not gone on to much and I do not want to offend anyone.
catch up soon
july ann
O July ann - am SO sorry I didnt post earlier to wish you good luck!
Pleased to hear it went well.....block off ALL news about other peoples pregnancies just focus on yourself!!
I think your views on chosing a match as really interesting = I;ve been analysing it massively - but I totally take you point - its like I'm actually thinking about this person being involved - which of course they NEVER will be. I think the choosing thing is just the ONLY thing I feel I have any control over - and being a bit of a control freak - its become my obsession. I should defo cool it a bit tho....as you say a healthy child is the only thing that remotely matters.
take care - when the big test date?
HI Millie - too - how did the consultation go?
Cazxx
Pleased to hear it went well.....block off ALL news about other peoples pregnancies just focus on yourself!!
I think your views on chosing a match as really interesting = I;ve been analysing it massively - but I totally take you point - its like I'm actually thinking about this person being involved - which of course they NEVER will be. I think the choosing thing is just the ONLY thing I feel I have any control over - and being a bit of a control freak - its become my obsession. I should defo cool it a bit tho....as you say a healthy child is the only thing that remotely matters.
take care - when the big test date?
HI Millie - too - how did the consultation go?
Cazxx
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nicolamark
- Valued Contributor
- Posts: 1879
- Joined: Fri Feb 27, 2004 4:05 pm
- Location: Cambridge, UK
Hi caz!I am here! Hello everyone else!!
We are new to this, Donor sperm might have to be our option but at the moment, we wont know till the biopsy is done on my dh to determine whether there are sperms there or not, a couple of samples have shown none present in the semen.
We are only just embarking on our long journey, and it seems so many of you guys are half way there!
On a waiting list for the biopsy, what can we do whilst we wait? I hate this, my clock is ticking too fast!!
Hi there girls, and welcome Nicola. Do you know how long you might have to wait for DH's biopsy? Everyone on here will agree this is totally a waiting game and its so hard to find the patience!! But we do all know how you feel, if thats any consolation!!
July Ann - You are right in what you say about the donor matching and I've never looked at it like that before. With all the choices I have been given previously I always pick the closest match without thinking about it and there has always been a close match, so I guess that now all of a sudden there may not be and it sent me into panic mode. But of course you are right in that many kids don't look anything like their biological parents/brothers/sisters anyway and the most important thing is that you love your baby/ies and they are healthy and happy. One of the great things about this site is that we all give eachother the opportunity to look at things from other angles that we may not have considered before.
Caz, how are things with you? Has AF arrived? Have you started anything yet?
I saw my new consultant who was very nice. He is happy for us to return to DIUI and says he sees absolutely no reason why we shouldn't go back down this route. He seemed slightly surprised that my first four DIUI cycles (after I had my daughter) we done with just Clomid and I do remember my previous consultant telling me that Clomid was a 'waste of time'. having said that, that was the only medication I had when I conceived my daughter. Anyway, the following three cycles were with superovulation to which I responded well so he is happy for us to do this which is good news. He seemed to pick up on the fact that I maybe needed a bit of a rest, considering the recent IVFs but DH is keen to get on with it, especially as he is quite a bit older than me and I have to say that I would probably rather get going sooner rather than later too so will skip this cycle as AF has just arrived and will probably get going next time which will probably be around the beginning of April.
July Ann - am keeping my fingers crossed for you.
Millie x
July Ann - You are right in what you say about the donor matching and I've never looked at it like that before. With all the choices I have been given previously I always pick the closest match without thinking about it and there has always been a close match, so I guess that now all of a sudden there may not be and it sent me into panic mode. But of course you are right in that many kids don't look anything like their biological parents/brothers/sisters anyway and the most important thing is that you love your baby/ies and they are healthy and happy. One of the great things about this site is that we all give eachother the opportunity to look at things from other angles that we may not have considered before.
Caz, how are things with you? Has AF arrived? Have you started anything yet?
I saw my new consultant who was very nice. He is happy for us to return to DIUI and says he sees absolutely no reason why we shouldn't go back down this route. He seemed slightly surprised that my first four DIUI cycles (after I had my daughter) we done with just Clomid and I do remember my previous consultant telling me that Clomid was a 'waste of time'. having said that, that was the only medication I had when I conceived my daughter. Anyway, the following three cycles were with superovulation to which I responded well so he is happy for us to do this which is good news. He seemed to pick up on the fact that I maybe needed a bit of a rest, considering the recent IVFs but DH is keen to get on with it, especially as he is quite a bit older than me and I have to say that I would probably rather get going sooner rather than later too so will skip this cycle as AF has just arrived and will probably get going next time which will probably be around the beginning of April.
July Ann - am keeping my fingers crossed for you.
Millie x
hi everyone,
I'm sat here in complete gobsmacked turmoil, earlier this evening I was sat looking through the stack of brochures that I have received from different clinics when dh just casually informs me that he's not actually that bothered about having the biopsy to see if any sperm can be retreived. He says that it's a lot of upset and more cash for something that probably won't work.
From what I've read on this board most partners are very apprehensive about using donor sperm. Mine on the other hand seems completely up for it, he say's that he's not at all bothered about our child not being genetically related to him because it just doesn't matter as the child will be ours whatever.
On the one hand I know that he genuinly means what he says, he should know what he's taking about as he has raised my daughter for the last twelve years as his own child. But then I also worry that he may be sticking his head in the sand about the whole thing. By not having the biopsy I suppose that he is protecting himself from any more hurt.
I just don't know what to do now. Sometimes I feel like my head could burst it's so full of decisions which need to be made. Ultimatly I suppose the decision about this is his. what I can't understand is, why do I think that it is more important for him to have his 'own' child than he does?
heeelp me please!
tracy xxxxx
I'm sat here in complete gobsmacked turmoil, earlier this evening I was sat looking through the stack of brochures that I have received from different clinics when dh just casually informs me that he's not actually that bothered about having the biopsy to see if any sperm can be retreived. He says that it's a lot of upset and more cash for something that probably won't work.
From what I've read on this board most partners are very apprehensive about using donor sperm. Mine on the other hand seems completely up for it, he say's that he's not at all bothered about our child not being genetically related to him because it just doesn't matter as the child will be ours whatever.
On the one hand I know that he genuinly means what he says, he should know what he's taking about as he has raised my daughter for the last twelve years as his own child. But then I also worry that he may be sticking his head in the sand about the whole thing. By not having the biopsy I suppose that he is protecting himself from any more hurt.
I just don't know what to do now. Sometimes I feel like my head could burst it's so full of decisions which need to be made. Ultimatly I suppose the decision about this is his. what I can't understand is, why do I think that it is more important for him to have his 'own' child than he does?
heeelp me please!
tracy xxxxx
HI there
millie - hi! Thanks for askin after me! Af arrived last weekend - so now have to wait til day 23 (so about 2 1/2 weeks) to do big prostap injection - then wait for next af, then wait 1 week and start daily injections....soooo long. Sounds like you are moving along tho - so pleased.
trace- wow! that IS a bit of a bolt out if the blue- but how amazing that your dh feels that way. I think there is so much OVER analysing that we go thru - maybe you shouldnt over analyse what you dh is saying too much -perhaps he is just RIGHT, and talking common sense? I supose theres the whole "is he in denial" thing going on tho - I guess we have all been thru that. I dont know how you can know for sure - so maybe its wise to give him a bit of time. Sounds like he just loves you to bits and doesnt want to see you go trhu needless pain - what a hero! How do you feel about the donor thing?
I think my dh is coming round to it - I have decided to let him make the final decision of which donor -just because I think it gives him the control that otherwise a bit lacking in our "destiny". Dunno if that makes sense....
feel a bit weird - really lovely giirl who I work with has suddenly given up booze - I dont think shes pg - but def think shes trying - and I just DREADING her getting pg- as I KNOW she will really quickly. What IS wrong with me I'm even jealous of people BEFORE they even get PG. It REALLY feels like a race/ competition to me sometimes - which is awful. My dh doesnt get that at all - does anyone else eveer feel like me? Like everyone else has suceeded, you know got to the finish post....and I havent even started?! Weird feeling - never felt jealous of anything before now. not nice.
Anyway - apart from that all seems OK. Had day 2 blood test to check FSH levels and they seem fine - so all systems go. Just got to pray they can get a few sperms from DH when they do TESE in a few weeks. If not it donor for us. GULP!! Exciting/ TOTALLY terrifying
Take care all!
Cazxx
millie - hi! Thanks for askin after me! Af arrived last weekend - so now have to wait til day 23 (so about 2 1/2 weeks) to do big prostap injection - then wait for next af, then wait 1 week and start daily injections....soooo long. Sounds like you are moving along tho - so pleased.
trace- wow! that IS a bit of a bolt out if the blue- but how amazing that your dh feels that way. I think there is so much OVER analysing that we go thru - maybe you shouldnt over analyse what you dh is saying too much -perhaps he is just RIGHT, and talking common sense? I supose theres the whole "is he in denial" thing going on tho - I guess we have all been thru that. I dont know how you can know for sure - so maybe its wise to give him a bit of time. Sounds like he just loves you to bits and doesnt want to see you go trhu needless pain - what a hero! How do you feel about the donor thing?
I think my dh is coming round to it - I have decided to let him make the final decision of which donor -just because I think it gives him the control that otherwise a bit lacking in our "destiny". Dunno if that makes sense....
feel a bit weird - really lovely giirl who I work with has suddenly given up booze - I dont think shes pg - but def think shes trying - and I just DREADING her getting pg- as I KNOW she will really quickly. What IS wrong with me I'm even jealous of people BEFORE they even get PG. It REALLY feels like a race/ competition to me sometimes - which is awful. My dh doesnt get that at all - does anyone else eveer feel like me? Like everyone else has suceeded, you know got to the finish post....and I havent even started?! Weird feeling - never felt jealous of anything before now. not nice.
Anyway - apart from that all seems OK. Had day 2 blood test to check FSH levels and they seem fine - so all systems go. Just got to pray they can get a few sperms from DH when they do TESE in a few weeks. If not it donor for us. GULP!! Exciting/ TOTALLY terrifying
Take care all!
Cazxx
hi caz,
I know exactly what you mean about the jealousy thing, I feel the same sometimes. Only I seem to be able to handle friends and colleges getting preg, its family that kill me. Until 2 years ago there were no babies in our family, and now nieces, sisters, cousins, their all breading like rabbits. Home used to be a safe haven where i could avoid having to discuss other peoples pregnancies but it's not anymore. Sometimes I feel so resentful that I hear myself saying things that from me are so cruel and I hate myself for feeling jealous as these feelings are not natural to me.
I adore all the new babies and love spending time with them but it's the pregnancies that I can't bear. Whenever my brother in law used to get a new girlfriend i used to dread the day that she might become pregnant. And I feel resentful because we are older than them and should have produced the first grandchild.
These things don't get easier with time infact i think it just gets harder. I think that you have to forgive youself for feeling bad and accept that it's normal. When my sister in law had a miscarrage I blamed myself because I had been jealous of the pregnancy.
Anyway caz try not to be to hard on yourself because you're gonna need good vibes. All the best for the tesa and i think that you may be pregnant before your college.
love from Tracy xx
I know exactly what you mean about the jealousy thing, I feel the same sometimes. Only I seem to be able to handle friends and colleges getting preg, its family that kill me. Until 2 years ago there were no babies in our family, and now nieces, sisters, cousins, their all breading like rabbits. Home used to be a safe haven where i could avoid having to discuss other peoples pregnancies but it's not anymore. Sometimes I feel so resentful that I hear myself saying things that from me are so cruel and I hate myself for feeling jealous as these feelings are not natural to me.
I adore all the new babies and love spending time with them but it's the pregnancies that I can't bear. Whenever my brother in law used to get a new girlfriend i used to dread the day that she might become pregnant. And I feel resentful because we are older than them and should have produced the first grandchild.
These things don't get easier with time infact i think it just gets harder. I think that you have to forgive youself for feeling bad and accept that it's normal. When my sister in law had a miscarrage I blamed myself because I had been jealous of the pregnancy.
Anyway caz try not to be to hard on yourself because you're gonna need good vibes. All the best for the tesa and i think that you may be pregnant before your college.
love from Tracy xx
Hi there.
Weird weird feelings in my head today......you know my friend who I mentioned yesterday (who I thought was trying to get PG and how I felt weird about it).....well today she comes into teh office - 2 hours late - bursts into tears. ....Turns out she was 8 weeks PG and had a miscarriage yesterday.
and I cant BELIEVE how upset I was.
Its odd - I expect to feel like that when people tell me that they are PG (I usually go and have a quick sob in the ladies loos!)- but I swear I feel worse for her having told me she had a miscarriaged.
Its because shes such a good mate and I care about her and seeing her so upset broke my heart , but ALSO just because it reminds you of how shitty this whole process that we put ourselves thru can be
It made mean realise that just PERHAPS the reason we feel so shitty when someone tells us that they are PG is NOT because we are just jealous - it just reminds us of all the pain we've been thru.
I mean I dont know about you- but thinking about it its not really the same feeling you get when your jealous about some material thing someone has - for me its literally just like a punch in the stomach.
Surely if I had been geunineuly jealous of my friend I would have been happy that she wasnt PG - and I'm really really not -its just SUCKS.
Any weird revelation - perhaps I'm not a bitter jealous ***** but just dont like being reminded of the thing that really hurts??
Anyway - does that make ANY sense?!
I've got no other news really. Hows everyone doing?
cazxx
Weird weird feelings in my head today......you know my friend who I mentioned yesterday (who I thought was trying to get PG and how I felt weird about it).....well today she comes into teh office - 2 hours late - bursts into tears. ....Turns out she was 8 weeks PG and had a miscarriage yesterday.
and I cant BELIEVE how upset I was.
Its odd - I expect to feel like that when people tell me that they are PG (I usually go and have a quick sob in the ladies loos!)- but I swear I feel worse for her having told me she had a miscarriaged.
Its because shes such a good mate and I care about her and seeing her so upset broke my heart , but ALSO just because it reminds you of how shitty this whole process that we put ourselves thru can be
It made mean realise that just PERHAPS the reason we feel so shitty when someone tells us that they are PG is NOT because we are just jealous - it just reminds us of all the pain we've been thru.
I mean I dont know about you- but thinking about it its not really the same feeling you get when your jealous about some material thing someone has - for me its literally just like a punch in the stomach.
Surely if I had been geunineuly jealous of my friend I would have been happy that she wasnt PG - and I'm really really not -its just SUCKS.
Any weird revelation - perhaps I'm not a bitter jealous ***** but just dont like being reminded of the thing that really hurts??
Anyway - does that make ANY sense?!
I've got no other news really. Hows everyone doing?
cazxx
Hi girls, hope you are all well.
Caz, you certainly are not a jealous *****! Its a natural feeling that all of us in this situation get and you wouldn't be normal (or perhaps wouldn't want it enough) if you didn't feel that way. It doesn't mean that we wish bad on other people, as you say it just reminds us of what we want so much and thats bound to raise sad feelings. So don't beat yourself up about it. As you said, its really tragic about your friend at work and you have such an insight into what she must be feeling, even though the circumstances are different. I'm glad your DH seems to be coming round to the idea of donor.
Trace - thats great about your dh being so positive about using donor, he obviously has no doubts about it and that must make you feel much more positive about the whole thing too. It also was never an issue for my DH and he had no doubts about our achieving our dream in this way. You will find no father who loves his daughter more than my DH loves ours.
July Ann - you must be due to test pretty soon - am thinking of you.
Love
Millie x
Caz, you certainly are not a jealous *****! Its a natural feeling that all of us in this situation get and you wouldn't be normal (or perhaps wouldn't want it enough) if you didn't feel that way. It doesn't mean that we wish bad on other people, as you say it just reminds us of what we want so much and thats bound to raise sad feelings. So don't beat yourself up about it. As you said, its really tragic about your friend at work and you have such an insight into what she must be feeling, even though the circumstances are different. I'm glad your DH seems to be coming round to the idea of donor.
Trace - thats great about your dh being so positive about using donor, he obviously has no doubts about it and that must make you feel much more positive about the whole thing too. It also was never an issue for my DH and he had no doubts about our achieving our dream in this way. You will find no father who loves his daughter more than my DH loves ours.
July Ann - you must be due to test pretty soon - am thinking of you.
Love
Millie x
HI Millie
thanks so much - as always you speak words of wisdom! Its so reassuring to hear about your husband and his reaction to the whole donor thing. He sounds a star.
July ann...PLLEEEASE keep us in touch - my fingers and toes are all crossed for you!
Hows it going with you Trace??
i am injecting (first one day21 inj of Prostap) next weekend. Have been trying not to drink wine which IS SOOOOO Dull and i think may have a relapse this weekend!! Why not eh?
Where is evryone else at -I lose track. Sorry to be a div!
Cazxx
thanks so much - as always you speak words of wisdom! Its so reassuring to hear about your husband and his reaction to the whole donor thing. He sounds a star.
July ann...PLLEEEASE keep us in touch - my fingers and toes are all crossed for you!
Hows it going with you Trace??
i am injecting (first one day21 inj of Prostap) next weekend. Have been trying not to drink wine which IS SOOOOO Dull and i think may have a relapse this weekend!! Why not eh?
Where is evryone else at -I lose track. Sorry to be a div!
Cazxx
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Guest
Hi Caz
Good to see that things are moving along nicely for you!
You certainly sound like you have been having a shi**y time at work you poor thing! I can understand exactly how you felt about the situation.
Glad also to hear that your DH is happier about the donor thing!! Really good news.
We get some fleeting moment of feeling funny (mainly because of having to pick the donor) once that is done, it is just a matter of achieving that goal of having your much wanted baby...........Millie summed it all up!
JulyAnn - good luck, my fingers are crossed!!
As for me..........I start injecting Puregon tomorrow and the DIUI will be around the end of the following week/beginning of the one after!!!! It all suddenly moves along so quickly!!!
Love to all
JenFx
Caz- come and join us on MCBs!!!
Good to see that things are moving along nicely for you!
You certainly sound like you have been having a shi**y time at work you poor thing! I can understand exactly how you felt about the situation.
Glad also to hear that your DH is happier about the donor thing!! Really good news.
We get some fleeting moment of feeling funny (mainly because of having to pick the donor) once that is done, it is just a matter of achieving that goal of having your much wanted baby...........Millie summed it all up!
JulyAnn - good luck, my fingers are crossed!!
As for me..........I start injecting Puregon tomorrow and the DIUI will be around the end of the following week/beginning of the one after!!!! It all suddenly moves along so quickly!!!
Love to all
JenFx
Caz- come and join us on MCBs!!!