Awaiting Treatment

Discussion group for all topics related to infertility including preparation for pregnancy, causes, investigation and treatment of infertility.
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Sara30
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Post by Sara30 »

Hi

I am waiting to start another cycle sometime in the next few months can I come and join you on this thread?
Wishfull (carolyn) I am sure I cycled with you back a couple of years ago? My user name was Lee, we were on with Dexter, Sonu, Kelly to name a few? Had to log in again as I forgot my password so have a different user name now.

Anyway would like to get to know you all ready for round number 4! :)

Thanks
Lee x
Finally I am a mummy, we are about to adopt our beautiful little girl xxxxx
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Miracle08
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Post by Miracle08 »

Hi Lee!!! :D :D :D :D :D :D

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Of course you can join this thread!! We LOVE new friends!!! These girls are fantastic and so supportive. We love to vent about our feelings and just chit chat about life!

I am sorry to read what happened in your signature. I am sure that was so very tough. Hugs sweetie!
Miracle08
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Post by Miracle08 »

Hello everyone!!!

Hmmmm...the thread has been quiet today. :(

Oh ladies......where are you? Don't make me get our Special Agent Angel get the Internet Police!!!! :lol: :lol: :lol:

Well...I am bored and lonely. So please...someone come out and play.... :cry:

Thinking of you Becky...Image
ICSI GIRL
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Post by ICSI GIRL »

geez girls --- this is like the "old days" --- ha, ha, ha!! i leave for a bit and come back to GOBS & GOBS to catch up on !!! (love it though)

ooooooo carolyn -- a woman of my own heart, i LOVE celebrity gossip and trash tv, magazines, etc.....always been one of my guilty pleasures!! :wink: really love the talk shows that do the "paternity" testing......crack me up!!! dh just doesn't get it at all!!! honestly can't believe next week is prague already :shock: oh and you asked about dh's job hunt (you're such a doll for asking.....) nothing promising.... in fact - no good leads at all thus far.....i have convinced him that maybe now is a good time for a medical/disability retirement....he is 55 (tomorrow is his bday) -- has had major leg issues (had couple of bypass surgeries on left leg) that keep in in constant pain when he's working and has noticed a significant reduction in pain/swelling since not working.... so we'll see where that goes....is a difficult process here in the states to get approved for medical disability.....mostly he's just not good at doing "nothing".....and during winter mo's (not as lucky as mir living in the 'sunshine' state where is nice weather pretty much year round!! -- pure jealousy talking!!!) when weather is ok to get outside and with us living on the lake -- he pretty much can always keep himself busy doing "stuff".....there -- now aren't ya glad you asked???!!!!

mir --- i totally get what you're saying about "me" being more upset about not being able to have bb than dh......i think is just one of the differences between guys/gals.....it's not that they don't care -- just different way of processing (mentally)......atleast that's my take on it... and for the record -- i think for you not having gone thru any tmt thus far -- you sure do "hang" w/ us gals that have pretty damn well!!! when i see/read others that - if they haven't been thru it -- they just don't get it and are not respectful of said boundaries at all......but you are a TOTAL exception to that rule!!! (one of the many reasons i love ya like i do! :wink: )

angel.....wow.....did you ever hit nail on head when talking about 'clamming up'.....and not even knowing how YOU felt..... i've so been there!!! i think was a big part of my/dh's issues this summer -- i continued to get more and more upset and shut him out more and more.... but when we finally went to therapy and REALLY DISCUSSED these buried feelings/issues ---- i'm not kidding when i say that we connected all over again....not that i would wish that journey (getting to the brink of divorce) upon anyone - but thus far - has been our saving grace :) have you considered joint counseling of any kind?? what about adoption??

soph....have i ever told you that i LOVE your reads???!!! always so very thoughtful and well written.....i bet your patients love you as much as we do!!! :wink: so you've really not said (or maybe i missed along the way) have you had any morning sickness or how have you been feeling overall???? cuz the way you hang here -- you'd never even know!!!

beck.......(((((((((((HUGS)))))))))) thinking of you sweetie....

we have a NEWBIE!!!!!!!!! WELCOME LEE (SARA30)!!!!! :P always a pleasure to have another on board.....are you on THIS side of the pond (US) or THAT side of the pond (UK)???

shantala -- have you gone back to work?? were you able to work thru everything or still having issues????? thinking of you.....

rachel.....how YOU feelin??? have you guys started picking out names for ruby's new baby bro/sis???

to all my other lovelies........a big hello!!! sending everybody LOVE & HUGS!!!!!
:-) Angie
Angel505
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Post by Angel505 »

WELCOME to Lee. I'm sorry to read about your m/c. That must have been heartbreaking. Becky (Welshgirl) is going through the same herself at the moment.

There is ONE pre-requisite to joining us lot - you have to be just a little bit CRAZY!!! :lol: :lol: Don't tell me no one warned ya.

Seriously though, feel free to talk about anything you like. These ladies here are fantastic.
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Post by Angel505 »

Oohh.....celebrity gossip is one of my weaknesses to. I try to hide it from DH most of the times as he just does not get it. :roll: MEN!!!

Angie - I am going for counselling, although I am not finding it any helpful just as yet. Will give it a chance. The thing with me clamming up is that all its done is to make people around me feel like I've become stronger and handling it well :shock: Is that even possible??? :?

DH and my Mum haven't been fooled and are totally aware that I'm holding it back. I had a episode of meltdown one day when I kept on getting annoyed with EVERYONE for no good reason. Finally, when DH pointed out that I was being unreasonable (which was 100% true), I snapped and ranted for a bit then broke down into tears. I was inconsolable and cried for a good 3 hours. DH does try to make me talk about it, but I'm not having it any of it. He's being totally supportive, but I guess I'm worried about my emotional state finally having its toll on him and he can no longer handle it himself???? Am I making any sense?

At the moment, DH is more concerned about the effect of all the drugs on my physical well being and we want to take some time out to do all the fun things we have missed out on for the past few years. We went out with some friends and partied till late. Still haven't been out to see the friends with babies. One step at a time, hey?



Miracle - Don't get me wrong. I don't feel that way about you girls. Heck, you are all going through similar trials and tribulations. Who better would understand how I feel.

I know what you mean by us feeling like we hurt more than the DHs. I had a chat with my DH about this once, and we both agreed that the answer was that men have the ability to switch off and think about other things. IF won't occupy their mind when they are watching a big footy match. Or when they are enjoying a night out in town. While us ladies on the other hand think about it 24/7 together with everything else we do. That also explains why women can multi task and men can't!!! :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:

Thats also partly because our bodies go through the monthly cycles and tmt. Everytime AF arrives it reminds us, a twinge while going through tmt will worry us..........etc. So yes, I totally get you. Which is also part of the reaosn I haven't been able to share my feelings with DH this time. They find it difficult to understand why life has to totally revolve around babies. Thats not to say that they don't want one.

Gosh, I've rambled on!!! :oops:

Carolyn, how was your date with your bacth tub and the mags? :D

Sophie, thanks, you always say the right things. Maybe I should quit seeing my counsellor and have sessions with you every week instead. :wink: Just kidding, please don't let me scare you away! :lol:
Angel505
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Post by Angel505 »

Becky - thinking about you loads.
PMApsy
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Post by PMApsy »

Morning lovelies!!

Yippee, back at work!!! That means more time to post here, LOL! :D Ooooooh so exciting that we have a new friend to play with!

WELCOME LEE!! :D:D:D:D If you don't mind me saying, you've been through a lot... wow, what a marathon!!! I too miscarried on my 3rd try, at 8 weeks (baby died at 7), and I'm now very pregnant, so, yes, fourth time can be the charm! I sure hope it will be the same for you! I'll be keeping everything crossed for you sweetie! And I'll tell you what my dear husband told me at the time: you've been pregnant, that is real, and no one can take that away from you. Your body will know what to do next time it welcomes nice little embies.

Miracle,
Hiya sweetie! :D How are you doing this morning? Is work still really hectic at the moment? WOW, Mollie and Charlie were really spoiled during the holidays! PHEW! I wish my family was that crazy about my furbabies... ah well. My aunt literally fell in love with Toulouse when she visited on the 26th, so I guess that's a start! ;) It really saddens me that Daria's anxiety kept getting worse. It got to the point that we decided to crate her when we leave the house. It's quite heartbreaking, leaving a dog in a cage, but it's for her own safety. My friend Anne has two English Shepards (you know, the huge grey and white dogs with no tail and really long hair?). One of them is a 7 month-old puppy. She was at her parent's during the holidays and she went upstairs for 20 minutes; all the dogs were sleeping. Well, Zorro (the pup) eviscerated a cushion and ate some of the stuffing. Not even 24 hours later, he refused to eat and he seemed in a lot of pain. I'll spare you the details, but they had to open him almost completely; there was one ball of stuffing stuck in his stomach, and another in his intestines, and there was a thread linking the two balls, with so much tension in it that the intestines were all packed. The poor little thing... I won't tell you the fees... several days in ICU, the meds, the surgery itself. Apparently, vets do that kind of surgery about 3 times a week, and the dogs who do that tend to relapse once or twice and they have to be kept on constant watch. Geez. Daria has eaten a whole tea towel one night. Fortunately, she takes her time and she really shreds it, so it comes out, one end or the other. But she destroyed several tea towels, oven mitts, numerous tupperware, a couple of knives (the plastic handle), the equivalent of a whole blanket, and so on. And she doesn't just destroy it, she eats it. Toulouse follows her example, but he's not nearly as bad, although I caught him two days ago, sinking his teeth in the hall's door frame (the moldings are not installed and he was munching on the gyproc). So in a word, Daria was very lucky she didn't have to go through surgery and we don't want that to happen. We have no idea what caused that relapse; it's not like she relapsed when Toulouse was adopted; it was in August! Now they sleep together and they're adorable, so I don't think it's about him. But you should have seen her this morning... she didn't want to go into the cage, I had to grab her and force her into it... and then she gave me that look... geez, she was so piteous. :( I can't even give her a blanket, she'll eat it!!! I can only give her a kong and a bone. At least I can tell myself that, when she was adopted and started doing worse and worse things during our absence, the few months of crating her solved the problem. I'll take my maternity leave on April 3rd, and then I'll be home practically non stop for a whole year, plus my husband will be home for an additional month after that. At our other house, we didn't have to use a cage, we left her in a small room (concrete floors, unfinished basement) with a blanket and a toy. We don't have that in our house, but I think the cage traumatises her a little bit. It's tricky, because if we leave her in a room upstairs, she'll scratch the doors like crazy; we had to buy solid pine and my husband spent hours staining and varnishing them, we just can't let her destroy these. Sorry, I'm babbling! ;)

Carolyn,
LOL I know what you mean! Snow and cold weather and hard frost isn't fun, but when you can curl up with a blanket next to the fireplace, it's heaven! :) So, any interesting gossip? Yeah, I'm starting to get organized, but we're only halfway there. We can't buy everything at once, we have to spread the expenses. But I've found all that I need for the bedding (blanket, sheets, padding) and that will be my next project. The bedding is quite expensive in stores; I'm sure they use the parents' enthusiasm and "awww" factor... didn't fall into THAT trap... I awwwwed in front of the fabric though ;)

Angie,
You make me blush sweetie!!!! Have I ever told you that your posts always energize me? :D *hugs* I'm sorry to hear about DH's chronic pain... what a situation... making the decision to retire must not be easy for him; it must feel like he's giving up... not easy for a "provider". Ouchie. Sounds like you guys have been through a lot together, and I'm glad that you're closer now. Is he still looking for a job or is he taking a break from that at the moment? What about your work? Oh, and I think Becky is the one who discussed morning sickness last... I stopped having mine around week 12, right on schedule. OH, and aren't you the LUCKY GIRL who watched a House marathon lately? Oooooh I looooove House! It is really refreshing to see a character with such a different personality, and yet his acting is so dead on that he never seems to go overboard and make House look ridiculous, see what I mean? It always stays on the dark humor side. I was saddened to learn that Hugh Laurie has been suffering from chronic depression and waited some 17 years to finally see a psychologist when his wife and children insisted on it. How sad, really.

Angel,
Thanks for what you said my sweet, and please don't even feel bad about rambling, we love reading your ramblings! ;) Seriously, if your counsellor is not helping, then that MAY be because he/she doesn't have the proper training to handle what you're going through. You don't have to keep paying someone if you don't feel the services he/she gives you are not making you progress. Have you considered seeing a psychologist? I don't know how it is where you live, but here, counsellors and psychotherapists don't have a protected title. It means that anyone can call themselves a counsellor or a psychotherapist, and too many people still don't make the difference. Only psychologists and psychiatrists have a proper license, hence my comment about your counsellor's training. Many people are good listeners and can show great empathy, but their lack of proper training and experience really shows when people have certain issues that require more than an empathic ear. Just a thought. Also, be careful to check your counsellor's/psychologist's/psychiatrist's therapeutic approach. Many will say they are eclectic, but they all have a preference. I can't recommend cognitive-behavioral therapy enough. Many patients first see a psychoanalyst or psychodynamician. Sometimes, it helped them overcome their issues, but they have absolutely no idea how they got there, and so they have no idea how they can apply the same skills to get them over their current issues. I almost fall down my chair when I hear them say: "Oh, I saw my therapist for about a year and a half, I felt much better afterwards... but I don't remember what we worked on, really..." Or they complain about how their therapist mostly listens to them and makes very few interventions. That's because it's their therapeutic approach. The cognitive-behavioral therapist always takes time to figure out with you how you got there, how your thoughts and emotions work and how they are contributing to the problem now. And they teach you specific tools to deal with all that, practice them with you, and so you know how you got better and you know, in the future, how to use those same skills to live a happier life in general.

:oops: I'm really rambling now, sorry. But it always touches me a lot when people say they don't feel like their therapist is helping. It can be for a number of reasons, and I know I'm not the right psychologist for every patient and can't help them all as much as I would like, but still, I find it too bad that you don't have the impression you're progressing. *hugs* I hope it will change very soon.

Okay, my post is far too long! Take care ladies! *HUGS*

Sophie xxox
1st and 2nd IVF = BFN 1st FET BFP! m/c at 7 weeks. 2nd FET BFP! 3rd FET BFN
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Now let's spend the rest of our lives having fun together! Image
ICSI GIRL
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Post by ICSI GIRL »

PMApsy wrote:Okay, my post is far too long! Take care ladies! *HUGS*
Sophie xxox
yes soph --- have you already forgotten the "posting board/blog etiquette???" :wink: :wink: ha, ha, ha!!! i am SO kidding!!! (you better know that! i just couldn't resist!!! aren't you glad you stayed on "this side"???)
:-) Angie
Miracle08
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Post by Miracle08 »

YIPEE my friends are back!!! WHOO HOO!!! :D :D :D :D :D

ok well...I really shouldnt be posting right now. I am SWAMPED at work. But..oh well....I do have my priorities! :wink: And you ladies, are in my top!!!

Hey Angie! Aww...man. So sorry DH hasnt found a job yet. That really sucks. URGH....if only things would turn around. SOONER THEN LATER!!! I know what you mean about DH getting bored. My DH got bored really quick too. YEP! Even in over-rated Florida, he got bored. I tell ya, Florida really sucks. I dont understand all the hype. We have two seasons...SUMMER AND SPRING. And it is miserable in the summer. If you walk outside for 20 seconds you are sweating your arse off!
Thanks for your comment about me hangin' with you ladies. Very sweet!
You cracked me up about Sophie violating posting etiquette!!! SOOO FUNNY!!!!

Angel...my love...so nice to see you out and about. AND A NICE LONG POST!!! LOVE IT. What you said makes total sense about our DH'S. I have babies on my mind all the time. I wish I could turn it off like they can. Yeah, you usually cant fool your Mum...they can always see right through it. I think it is great that you and DH are taking time out for you two. That is important!!! My anniversary is coming up and I have made reservations to a posh steak house for my DH. We would NEVER spend this kind of money but i was like...what the hell. We have been through so much this year and we deserve it. HE doesnt know yet though. We are going the 19th! I am super excited. I dont eat steak but I am sure I will find something. I know he will love it.

Sophie...aww honey. I know how hard it is to put them in a kennel. I have to put Mollie in a kennel. She is just a beast. (I love her for it though :lol: )
Just when you think you have Mollie-proofed my home...She finds something. She doesnt chew furniture, or the walls, but ANYTHING PLASTIC!!!!!!!!! She is such a stinker. oh, and dont worry, I cant leave Mollie's blankie with her in her kennel. She would chew it up too. She only gets her Kong and Nyla bone in the kennel. She is really good about going in it though. All I have to say to her is..Ok Mollie time to go in your "house!" she trots right over and goes in. That makes it a lot easier. I know if she had to be put in it, it would break my heart too. But remember, you are saving your sanity and keeping her safe too. People say "Oh I would have gotten rid of her if she was my dog!" this really irritates me becasue for 1. She is NOT your dog, and 2. As a dog owner you need to know what works for your dog. Mine needs the kennel, it doesnt make her bad, just....curious is what I like to call it!!! :lol: :lol: :lol: Charlie boy on the other hand, he doesnt get into anything. He is my quiet baby!

Ok I have to go now. I really have to work for a little while..... :wink:
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Post by Miracle08 »

PS
i hope we didnt scare Lee away already... :shock: :shock:
Angel505
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Post by Angel505 »

We've all started to write long posts now. And its all Sophie's fault. :lol: :lol: :lol: Just kidding my friend. I think its really nice when we can express our feelings so much. Shows how comfortable we are with our friends here and have truly made this "home" for us.

Oh Miracle, the posh steakhouse sounds fab. I'm sure he'll be pleased. Have a brilliant time. And dare I ask what you have planned for afters??? You splashed out on a nice piece of lingerie? :wink: You know Angie's your girl if you are after an seductive ideas!!! :D

Sophie - Thanks for your thoughts re counselling. I too feel that this may not be the right person for me. She's a good listener, but I don't feel like there has been any benefit at the end of it. She often waits for me to go on talking and there are such uncomfortable gaps of silences until I have to tell her I've finished talking. What I would expect at the end of a few sessions is some type of conversation on things I can do to deal with things. Don't get me wrong, I never thought that I would leave feeling like all my problems are resolved and I know they are not there for solving problems. But my understanding was they help you find ways to deal with those problems.

Umm....so you never answered my question about whether you'd be happy for me to swap her for you 8) Naahh.....don't answer that, you don't need yet another amotional wreck to deal with :lol:

Angie - Does your DH actually want to retire? Retirement can usually be difficult as people suddenly don't know what to do with all that free time. Could he possibly get a part time job - that way he can take care of his health, plus be out of the house for a bit. Plus their self esteem is bound to take a hit especially if you are working and he's not (and I don't mean this in the traditional "I'm the man of the house" way). Also there are other consequences like he'll want to do things in the evenings/ weekends when that the last thing you may want after a full week's worth. Only sharing my personal views and of course don't mean to interfere with your decisions.

On another note,

HAPPY 55 BIRTHDAY TO YOUR dh!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

You got anything special planned for his birthday? :wink: Come on, spill all.
ICSI GIRL
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Post by ICSI GIRL »

Angel505 wrote:On another note,

HAPPY 55 BIRTHDAY TO YOUR dh!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

You got anything special planned for his birthday? :wink: Come on, spill all.
gee thanks!! but no -- nothing incredibly "special" on the agenda..... we are going out for dinner and 'whatever else' (wink-wink....think BCABB!!!) but ya know -- MY bday is on the 11th (this sunday -- yep only 4 days.. oh and 20 YEARS....apart!!) and we are so close to the holidays that we generally don't do 'gifts' for our bdays.....which i am really ok with-- i'm much more of a "lets go buy this/that for US" as we'd like to as opposed to trying buy some more crap that he really most likely doesn't care to have anyway!! (and vice versa.....very early on i learned that he is NOT a good "gift buyer".....love him dearly - but first christmas together i was the very proud recipient of a fricken food processor!!!! not that that would be a "bad" gift necessarily -- if you wanted one or ever had a use for one.......and i didn't fall into either of those categories!!!! or like a specific cd that i wanted -- he couldn't find THAT ONE -- so he just picked up another by the same artist.....well gee, would be lovely except that i wanted THAT ONE because i loved THAT song!!!!!) ha, ha, ha!!! so as i said, we've reverted more to do doing things like "hey - we'd like a 50" plasma tv.....let's go buy one" or we need/want some different landscaping done around the house -- let's spend the money and do it!! stuff like that.....
:-) Angie
wishfull27
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Post by wishfull27 »

Sara30 wrote:Hi

I am waiting to start another cycle sometime in the next few months can I come and join you on this thread?
Wishfull (carolyn) I am sure I cycled with you back a couple of years ago? My user name was Lee, we were on with Dexter, Sonu, Kelly to name a few? Had to log in again as I forgot my password so have a different user name now.

Anyway would like to get to know you all ready for round number 4! :)

Thanks
Lee x
Hi Lee

Of course I remember you :lol:

Sorry to read about youir recent loss but it seems like you have a plan and are moving forward x

Just we prequisite for this tread is you have to be mad!!!

Welcome aboard xx
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wishfull27
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Post by wishfull27 »

Hi girlies xx

Angel - soo glad you feel you can open up to us - thats what we are here for and if the counsellor is not helping bin her off for another one - is she an IF one ? I had one that was connected to private IF hospital and she was really good :)

Am with you on the men not understanding thing - I think they do but in there own sweet simple way where emotion can be switched on and off and not as many hormones involved :twisted:

Mir - I love your posts about the furbabies - you just crack me up - you keep evading the question though about what your plans are for treatment :? :? -we want to know xxx

Angie - happy birthday for DH and you in a few days - I did not realise he had a bad leg - maybe it would help him to try and get retirement then he can do all the daily jobs and not irritate you as much xx

Sophie - our domestic godess putting us all to shame by making your own abbay bedding - just sooo jealous that I am soo undomesticated in the sewing department :lol: as always love you posts no matter how long they are!!!! :o

Becky - hugs honey xxx hope you are taking good care of yourself and Brian xxx

Crap day at work but heyho good offer on for Champneys so booked to go with Mum, SIL and her mum - if interested Angel/lee/Becky
its £49.95 per night full board - min of 2 night stay :D

Catch you all later xxx
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