Tina- Wow, what a difficult question. I know they say that you MUST let the kids cry it out. However, for the first year I nursed Shelby to sleep. Never did she have to cry it out. Then when I quit nursing I would lay on her floor with my hand in her crib until she fell asleep. If I didn't she would cry hysterically until I was also crying.
Shelby is 3 now, and still struggles going to sleep. However, we now let her read books in her room, or play with toys in her bed until she falls asleep. Some nights she is alseep in 15 minutes, some nights its 2 hours. However, she eventually falls asleep.
I look at it as they are only young once. She only depends on me for a short while then she will not want anything to do with me. So, I will spend as much time with her now, and do whatever it takes.
I don't think she will be wanting me in her room when she is 18, but if she does great. At least I will know it's me in there and not some boy
Anyhow, it's whatever works best for you and your family.