Good morning ladies,
Whoa, lots of emotional posts these last few days... I don't know what's happening these days, but I feel a weird energy just floating around and affecting people in general.
Carolyn,
way to go girlie, looks like you're getting so good at dealing with winter conditions (real ones, I mean, LOL) that you'll be fit to move over here!
I hope you had a nice weekend sweetie. Is AF over by now?
Angie,
Those vacation plans sound fabulous!!!! Aww, I wish we could afford to go south for a nice little vacation! Your posts always crack me up sweetie!
How was your weekend? Is DH getting excited about a nice vacation too?
Lee,
I'm glad the situation looks good with your girlie. I totally understand that you want to choose the right moment for your last FET, I would do the same. I agree with Carolyn that you've got to put you and DH first. But keep in mind that there will never be a perfect moment. I've seen so many women, for example, delay their TCC because they wanted to shape up their career nicely, be in a good place financially... and then, oops, nature doesn't cooperate... If there is no perfect moment to have kids, there is no perfect moment to give FET or IVF or IUI a try. Hope that takes some of the pressure off... *hugs*
Miracle,
Oh my sweet hunny... I'm so sorry you've been through such a tough moment with DH yesterday. *HUGS* It's so difficult to feel like you're not on the same page with the person you love; makes you feel misunderstood, lonely, abandoned, pessimistic... betrayed, sometimes. Lots of men are the "avoidant" or "withdraw" type in the relationship's dynamic. It makes them seem introverted, secretive, distant, sometimes hostile. It drives their partner crazy because they want to feel close, have open-hearted discussions, and they will "pursue", which only creates a vicious cycle. Especially if the "pursuer" tends to be on the anxious side. I'm just saying all that so you know that this situation, this dynamic, is typical and common, and many couples, including mine, occasionally go through this.
That being said, you guys can't keep that dynamic going on. "Withdrawers" withdraw and avoid mainly because they fear they'll hurt their partner if they come out in the open and speak honestly. Or they've piled up some frustration and they don't know how it will come out. Some also withdraw because they're scared they won't be able to satisfy their partner. So, they do exactly that; they dodge, they change the subject, they pretend it's not there, they hide behind a wall.
Your DH might behave the way he does because he sees how important having babies is for you, how excited you are about starting, finally, your first tmt. There's nothing wrong in being excited about it and wanting to have a plan to cling to, a date to hope for. But if your husband has trouble dealing with a few issues about fertility tmts, it might not have a positive impact on him. It does not matter whether or not you're practically advertising it or just making a comment from time to time; he knows it's important for you, he knows you're anxious and excited, and it's enough to cause "trouble", in a way.
My advice to you is, although this can't keep going on and you do need to speak freely to each other about fertility treatments, face this as a team and feel you're on the same page (it's primordial), the more you go after him, the more you'll worsen the "pursue-withdraw" cycle. Right now, you don't have to take practical steps for your first tmt (make apts and so on), so the discussion can wait, even if it's difficult emotionally. I know it's hard, but I would stop mentioning tmts for now. I would simply wait until he's in a relaxed and good mood, even if it takes several days, and I would sit with him and be
very concise. I would tell him that your last discussion about tmts was very confusing for you because it gave you the impression that he's not voicing all his concerns about your tmt options, and/or that his position is not clear. Then, I would open the door. I would tell him that you're ready to discuss those issues calmly whenever he's ready, and that all possibilities are still open (that might help him relax). But that, in order to make infertility easier for you, you need to have a plan in mind, even if it's only a general plan, and it's very important for you to feel that he's part of the plan-making process 100%. Then I would tell him something like, "so I'd like you to take some time to think about all the options we have, timing-wise and tmt-wise, think about the pros and cons, determine which options are the best for you, and then come talk to me about it. I, however, won't bring it up for now because I see it's making you uneasy and I don't want that." Something like that. Just my two cents...
Angel, where are you sweetie? I miss you girlie!
Becky, I miss you too!!
As for me, I had a very busy weekend. It was great having the energy coming back, but whew... busy bee, as usual. Spending the whole week at home playing the couch potato made me want to just clean the whole house. I rearranged two closets, cleaned the bathrooms, dusted the whole first floor, cleaned the kitchen, not to mention the other chores... I'm happy I did it, the house looks better now. I'm no OCD, but I do like to sit down in a relatively clean and ordered house, that way I don't see tons of things I should do and I can just be lazy. DH went to the woods with the dogs yesterday morning, and they LOVED it; it had been a while. They were such good doggies yesterday, having let out an appropriate amount of energy for a change. Toulouse was the sweetest lovebug; he followed me everywhere with his cute little pink nose!
Other than that, I had an interesting morning (hence my comment about the energy that's around these days). I believe I've mentioned how the new train schedule makes it difficult for everyone to travel. Well, this morning, it got even worse. A super tall and sturdy guy came in and started insulting and pushing people (the train was overpacked with people as usual, and people were stuck in the cold outside and couldn't come in, also as usual since the new changes). He fell, a few people fell with him (thank GOD I was sitting near the window, because people would have fallen on me), and then a very short fight ensued. Two stations later, two people literally fainted! A schoolgirl, right next to me (she was standing in the alley), and another person in the same wagon, didn't see, too many people. All that because it was overcrowded and hot.
And listen to this, this is the cherry on top! An inspector came to the rescue of the schoolgirl who had fainted; she was sitting next to me and he was sitting opposite her. When she was stable, I informed the inspector of the man's behavior. He took the man with him on the way out of the train at the main station as he was escorting the schoolgirl and I don't know what happened next. But a lady standing in the alley, who heard me inform the inspector about the man shoving around and insulting people, said, "I don't know how he presented it exactly, but still, we were freezing outside and thanks to him, we were able to get into the train!"
So being the big mouth I am... I wrote to several newspapers. A journalist called me and interviewed me; apparently I'll be quoted in tomorrow's paper. The train schedule changes have been making the news since Jan 12th (start of the changes), and they're glad to keep the juicy news going. Let me tell you, I will no longer wait until someone gives me the reserved seat (and very often, they don't give it to me anyway). Starting tomorrow, not only will I ask for it as soon as I get on the train, but I'll also switch places with the person sitting near the window, so people falling in the alley won't fall on me. It has come to that...
Take care ladies, it's good to be back among you and I hope to chat with you often!
Hugs and kissies,
Sophie xxox
Hope DH is taking goood care of you xx
that just sucks... even moreso cuz you're limited in what you can ingest for meds... hope you're feeling better soon!! and i would LOVE the choc pie recipe..... (it doesn't call for any un-cheese does it?? 
DH is fine today - just stiff neck