NOV/DEC 2009 -- Cycle Group

[Brooklyngirl]

Hi all,

Thanks so much for all of the good wishes. And my thoughts go out to those who are also having difficulty or who have received bad news. And best wishes for all those who have had success. I would name names, but I am too farblondzhet to get any one's name right (that's Yiddish, bu the way, for lost, upset, etc).

I have to say that this is so hard. I know there is a chance this will work out, but the thought it won't is really terrifying. I keep on beating myself about waiting so long, especially when the doctors and nurses remind me about my age. But what can I do.

Again, thanks for all of the support. Happy Holidays to all.

[LorrieS]

sorry ladies for the lack of personals, my heart is weighing heavy and I just wanted to kup.

I have my sono tomorrow. AF cramps and bleeding have returned. As soon I get a speck of any HOPE that this might pass, it comes right back hours later. It's draining me emotionally and really to tell you the truth, my optimism is wearing very thin. I just can't imagine still having a baby in there growing with all this. I'm crushed. But tomorrow is the day I will have to face, good or bad.

[me2009]

sorry ladies for the lack of personals, my heart is weighing heavy and I just wanted to kup.

I have my sono tomorrow. AF cramps and bleeding have returned. As soon I get a speck of any HOPE that this might pass, it comes right back hours later. It's draining me emotionally and really to tell you the truth, my optimism is wearing very thin. I just can't imagine still having a baby in there growing with all this. I'm crushed. But tomorrow is the day I will have to face, good or bad.

i can't believe that your clinic is making you wait til tomorrow...

how long have you been bleeding? they should have got you in ASAP... (im just saying...if it was me, and i was bleeding..i would be knocking down the doors)

you never know why you're bleeding, where the placenta is sitting, ect... i know i had a rather large hematoma (big blood clot) that was spotted at 5 weeks, but i never had any bleeding.. from the ET i had constant cramping and such, they upped my PIO have they dont that for you?

you never know, it could be one of the cyst on your ovaries...?? that ruptured..

im not trying to give you false hope, but i would have been in that office faster than they could get me off the phone...

good luck and if it gets worse... i would call them!! even if its in the middle of the night!

hang in there

[julia_78]

Lorrie - I am so really sorry sweetie. Hope you get good news tomorrow. I can't imagine how hard that wait must seem, I'll be thinking of you and dh all day.

Syanna - sorry for the bfn

Justwannabeamom/ kelly - this just sucks, I know I can't say anything to make it less painful. Are you sure you want to throw down the towell? You are so young, and kathy's right, there are options to get around the cost. (There was an article in cnn this week called "the value of 10 dollars" about a website where people can pitch their need for money and other people donate, I bet peope would donate for your shot at being a mom, check it out). Right now it probably feels like you can't handle the emotional rollercoaster again, but you'll build up the strenght to try again.

Brooklyngirl - wishing you super strong embies and an easy transfer... I had slow embies too, we ended up with 2 frosties (one even hatched before freeze). So don't give up hope on yours!

Kind of random - but do you know what it takes to get a state law passed? I think its bull#*t that so few states have ivf mandates, and would love to get involved to try to get one through in my state (I have no clue how involved this would be).

Afm - 3 days in 2ww and its going to be a loooong wait (so thankful that the holidays will help distract me!)

[justwannabamom]

Thank you all for the words of encouragement but this was our last try not by my choice at all. Money is not the reason as I would work 80 hours a week for the rest of my life to get money for IVF if it would bring me a baby. I would sell everything I own get rid of my brand new house and live in a mobile home and drive a junky car. I would give everything possible to have a baby! But the reason for being done is 100% DH. He never thought it a good idea to do IVF in the first place and after much sobbing and begging he finally agreed. Then it didn't work and again I begged. He has decided he will not do it again. He feels that there is a reason we r not supposed 2 have kids and that if we keep pushing fate like this with IVF we will have worse problems like something will b wrong with our child or we will have misscariage problems and I will be more of an emotional wreck than I already am. So thanks for your thoughts but it is over for me. I just hope someday I can get over it but it sure seems immpossible! So when u pray for me just pray that GOD will help me just to accept this whole messed up life I have!

[BRMommy2B]

Well, yesterday wasn't looking so good. Thought I was spotting. This morning I decided to POAS anyway, and it was POSITIVE! So we're being cautiously optimistic until the blood test on Saturday. Please stop and say a prayer for me today. This is all I wanted for Christmas!

[hjw]

BRMommy2B - YIPPEE, you got your Christmas BFP!!! I'm SO HAPPY for you.... Well done little Hope!

LorrieS - oh sweetie, I really feel for you, this wait must be terrible. I'm so hoping that you are getting good news at your scan today. (((((hugs)))))

julia_78 - this is the 4th day of my 2ww and it's going soooo slowly too! We'll just have to try and get through it somehow, at least we have the holidays to keep us occupied. Are you feeling anything? I'm having some cramping but know that it could easily be the progesterone rather than anything else.

justwannabamom - I'm so sorry that your DH is adamant that he won't do IVF again. Maybe he will feel differently if you both take a little time and space away from IVF. A woman I know once gave me the line about "well maybe there's a reason why some people can't get pregnant on their own and they weren't meant to have children" (without knowing that I was actually one of those people). My response was and is that IVF and the other medical wonders of the modern world wouldn't exist if people weren't meant to use them to better their lives and their health. I mean, you wouldn't tell a cancer sufferer that "maybe there's a reason you got sick and you should just accept it and not seek medical help". I do hope your DH will feel differently when you have both had some time to grieve about your BFN.

Ladies, I wish you all a very happy holidays. You are all in my thoughts. I cannot tell you how much I value these boards and the support I have received in my three cycle groups this year. I am so thankful to have found you all.

Hazel

[katie99]

Hi girls -

I just wanted to wish you all a great holiday!
For those of us that need to try again - may 2010 bring us our wishes!
For those with BFPs - 2010 will bring you the joy that you've been waiting for!
For those in the 2ww- Well, it doesnt really matter if your Christmas BFP is a week or 2 late, does it?

BRMommy -WHHOOO HOOO!!!! hooray for a + HPT!!!!
I cant wait til Sat when its official!!!

Skylar - Maybe no more pickles for you? he he

Brooklyngirl -Yes, I think it may amuse REs to continuously remind us of our ages - still sending you dividing dust

Lorrie -I'm still pulling for you today! GL with your u/s!

Hazel -ok, that is a bit spooky - I just said the same thing regarding Cancer a few weeks ago. Take it easy over the holiday - no going overboard please - I'm sure that your DH is more than willing to pitch in! - xoxo

[lou71]

BRMommey2B --- YAY!!!! Oh I sooo hope I can join you soon in the BFP club. I will definitely say a prayer for you. Merry Christmas.

[BRMommy2B]

Lou: I hope you join me too, and I hope I stay in the club! We've been trying and disappointed for so long that we're both like - Is this too good to be true??? I have never ever seen a + on a HPT before, so exciting! And no more spotting today.

Katie and hjw: Thanks for the well wishes!

Merry Christmas to everyone, and Happy Hannukah and everything else!

DH and I just bought Christmas ornaments that say Grandma and Grandpa, and pending another + test in the morning we're going to give them to his parents when we see the im the morning. Haven't figured out how to tell my parents since we saw them last weekend and don't have plans of seeing them any time soon. They live 5 hours away so it's not like we can hop over there to tell them, but I always imagined doing it in person!

As for telling DH, I've always wanted some grand plan, but when I saw the +, which I was 95% sure wasn't going to happen, I just started crying and freaking and and ran and stuck it in his face (he was still asleep, and like, what's going on???) It was so cute!

[LorrieS]

Thanks for all the well wishes ladies. Yesterdays sono appt was far from encouraging, Dr thinks this pregnancy will turn into bad news. He said the baby is measuring a week behind....& at first the tech couldn't find the heartbeat and he was saying how this doesn't look good, blah, blah....so negative. And then all of a sudden the tech found it. I really think deep in my heart that my babies heart just started beating a day ago or so. The rate was only 62. So again, the Dr was already talking about a future D & C. Not even giving really any Hope and it just broke my heart.

Well ladies! I slept very well and today is a new day! I dreampt about my baby. SERIOUSLY! I saw him/her in there, heartbeating strong & kickin! I had a dream that I went to this imaging center and told them how worried I was after my RE appt and they did a sono and there was the baby, so clear, with a heartbeat so perfect! I just know God is talking through me today. I am feeling it.

Have a wonderful Christmas Day everyone!!!

[claud662]

Lorrie-you are staying so positive...I hope the outcome is what you are hoping for

[dodo928]

Merry Christmas ladies! May infant Jesus's love touches everyone of us and gives us hope and faith and patience to build our family! May we stay here strong and support each other and never give up hope.

Congrats to ladies who're BFP and continue to stay strong on the heart beats!

For ladies who are BFN, let's cry together, freak out together, and pick each other's up and move on for next cycle until we're BFP!

xoxo

[tc4474]

BRMOMMY2B - is hour official beta today? I am looking forward to hearing your update!

AFM - sorry I am MIA but am on the road for the holiday. It is easy for me to read updates from my phone but harder to type replies. It has been difficult to be around family and friends and not tell them about the BFP. We want to wait until our first u/s in two weeks. We are still doing good and are happy, but cautious at the same time.

I hope you are all doing well!

[BRMommy2B]

Had my beta this morning, and the results are (drum roll):

Beta #1 (10dp5dt): 425

Is it just me, or does that seem crazy high? We transferred just one frozen embryo.

We are very happy, but of course, wondering if there is any possiblel downside to a beta that high?