Jan/Feb 2010--Cycle Group

[Hope644]

I really can't keep up with you guys. i am exhausted and i need to go to bed. not sleeping well, having to get up at 4 am to go to a job that i'm ready to quit so i can be a SAHM, but i can't afford to - especially now that i've committed a big ol' chunk o' change to my flexible medical spending account that will be taking a somewhat smaller chunk out of my paycheck to pay for IVF for the next YEAR. I keep telling myself "YOU CHOSE THIS - DO NOT COMPLAIN" - so I'm going to try to stop.. I am just tired and having a ton of mommy-guilt and icky work-guilt too. they are soooo good to me, even tho i'm bored out of my skull more days than not, i work for an extremely family-friendly bunch of folks who have bent over backwards for me and my family situation (no daycare) so I'm going to shut it now. thanks for my "brief" vent.

ES - thinking of you dear... and sending up BIG prayers for your two little ones... keep remembering - it only takes ONE! GROW EMBABIES GROW!!!

Ashley - the girls are right, don't get carried away and go out and buy a crib or anything, but you are in a wonderful position. I would also get the FRER - (I already have a 3-pack in my bathroom, cos I'm totally unable to contain myself) but def check for the increasingly dark and darker lines! Good and better signs each time! Best wishes to you sweetie!!!

SDC - best wishes on a BIG OL' BFP tomorrow! hang in there!!

and since i'm so tired, i'm going to take the cheap & easy way out and send everyone lots of baby dust... XOXO girls!

[sdc]

Hpt negative no hopes at all Am all ready for second ivf cycle

[sancap14]

THREAD CRASHER! Just wanted to say hi and good luck to everyone in here especially my Sept/Oct 09 cycling buddies
Katie99
Jaydentd
Bei
Washingtonda
Rayofsunshine
Miyaya
karenthescorpio
J&C
Claudia
moorebaby
and of course turtle my endo sis <3. It's not fair that you all have to go throught this again. I pray that this will be the last time for everyone and BFP's are plentiful

I wish you all the best of luck, patience, strength, and happiness. xoxoxoxo

[ashleyncsu77]

Thank you everyone for the positive thoughts and feedback. I am totally proceeding cautiously with this - I know it's still very early. I do already have a son that was conceived naturally and my main issue is genetic so I'm hoping that will play in my favor. BUT.....I have also had 3 miscarriages so I know I am not out of the woods. In fact, my miscarriages took me to 6, 8, and 9 weeks so I probably will not get totally excited until I get through the first trimester (if I get that far).

I will go out and get the FRER tests and try them out. I did talk to my nurse today about getting some medication for my headache (tylenol is like drinking water, it does nothing). I was going to tell her about my HPT but was afraid she would lecture me about waiting. If I am still getting positive results by Thursday/Friday I might see if they'll take me before Monday.

Ashley

[PatyPaty]

Ladies - I finally spoke with my RE & he said he was surprised that we didn't have more than 1 egg - he recommended another cycle - however, he said I need to let my ovaries rest & we can get started in April. He also mentioned that next time he would recommend taking two of the trigger shots instead of one - or using HCG instead of Ovidrell. I'm going back in 2 weeks to review my last cycle & see where he will make changes. Last night was rough - my DH & I were discussing our next cycle & other other options we might consider & he just broke down. During this entire process he has been the one to hold it together, but I know he is doing it for me. It was tough to see him in such a vulnerable state, but I was relieved that he was letting go. We made a deal that we would not discuss alternative options until absolutely necessary. I'm not giving up that easily

CamiWB, clk1, Katie99, Miyaya, Franny,to have fun08, moorebaby, Roshaunda, Claudia (I hope I got everyone, if not I'm so sorry) - Thank you all for your kind words & support. You guys were right - after talking to my RE he seems to already have an idea of what we can do different. I'm keeping my hopes up & I'm trying to remain optimistic. I think I would of lost it by now if I didn't have the support from you wonderful ladies.

Franny, Beth84, to have fun 08 - woohoo for being pupo - I'm so happy for you ladies & I'm praying that everything goes well.

moorebaby - keeping you in my prayers.

sdc - good luck tomorrow! Can't wait to hear the results!

Roshaunda - that would be the most wonderful anniversary gift! wishing you the best of luck on your beta!

Katie99 - praying that your u/s goes well tomorrow

I'm sad that I'm going to have to leave you guys & join the April cycle. I feel like I know each and one of you personally. I will have to check back from time-to-time to see how everyone is doing. Good luck to everyone! (hugs)

love ya'll

Patricia

[hms]

wow, i'm really overwhelmed reading the posts since yesterday. not just the number of them - but how quickly things are feeling...real. i've been doing a great job of remaining oblivious to the time, the non-symptoms, and the emotions since Saturday, but now reading all your updates, my oblivion has been dashed. I feel like I want to cry and I don't know why!? Happy for Ashley and Jacqueline, heart-achy for Sonya's sister, angsty for Franny and Liz, disappointed yet hopeful for Es, confused yet confident for Katie (confused only because I've never of IVM before now - but you're a wonderful explainer...now let's see it work!), envious of Lou (for the skiing AND the courage to continue), totally-feeling-your-DH-fury for Ronda, and anxious for the results of the rest of the PUPOs out there - laurie, roshaunda, mandy, samantha, niki (we're with you as for moving onto adoption if this doesn't work), chris, beth....

Then there's the reality that not all of us will get BFPs. Yes, we want them, we root for them, pray for them, send positive thoughts for them, but it's just a fact that we won't all get them. And that's so hard. It makes me tear up just thinking about it. It could be me, it could be any of us. Ugh. I think I needed to check-back in with myself on this whole process instead of just getting swept up in my busy work week. It's important to remember how important it is, how not to take all my energy and hopes and desires for granted. This moment of not knowing will be gone tomorrow or the next day or the next. Having it now is an opportunity to reflect.

Okay, sorry to get all cheesy and sappy on the board, I guess I'm just thinking out loud. I will confess that I will probably POAS tomorrow or Thursday. I know, I know, but it will be 10 or 11dp3dt by then. Trigger will be gone. I will be ready.

[sdc]

Ashley Are u going for pgd ? I did . 5 looked really good on day 5 but 4 had chromosomal abnormaility and just one was good Now they can test all the chromosomes with new method

[hms]

and Patricia! I'm sorry this is so difficult. That it doesn't work out the way we want and we don't always understand why. I can only say that I understand. And for what it's worth, I think there's something special about having the opportunity to share your fears and frustrations so openly and vulnerably with your DH. It's a backwards way of getting closer.

Best to you in your next go round.

xo
heather

[turtle0619]

ok its midnight and i cant sleep. i keep having visions of HPT's dancing in my head. this evening was a little rough. i had really really bad cramping pain in my lower stomach. still no spotting, but it hurt alot. i have no idea whats going on inside of me. i'll tell you i never feel like this before AF, and never for this long. so if i get a BFN tomorrow i'll be even more confused. even though its still early i know. i feel mostly bloated now.
i'll tell yall one thing...i went though soooo much toilet paper this week with all the spot checking i think i'll end up spending more money on the T.P. then i will on the HPT's hahaha
is it friday yet??
oh and on top of everything my brother and SIL are throwing my neice's 1 year birthday party on sunday in NY. so i said i would bake a bunch of stuff for the party, which i havent even figured out. plus i didnt even get her a present yet! i am a bad aunt!
luckily she's only 1 and wont remember any of it! haha
ok i'm off to try to get some sleep...the snoring dog might help!
good night everyone!

[gi]

Hi ladies,

Sorry i have been mia but i have been reading your posts just no time to write back, i am in work so cant do personnels but just letting ye know i am thinking of all of ye esp. those in 2ww.
Ashley Congrats sounds like a BFP to me!!!! Enjoy the moment these are precious times.

AFM another reason i havent been is cause i caught some vomiting bug and was so violently ill yesterday i had to leave work after a couple of hours. At 1st i thought it was my meds but i couldnt even keep down a sip of water, i was vomiting right up to bedtime and felt so sorry for myself today i am a bit better havent been sick yet but have terrible stomach cramps it better pass by friday as i am Not cancelling my d&c. Anyway enough of my moaning it could be worse, i will chat later and do some personnels.

gi xx

[moorebaby]

sdc- good luck today! i'll be thinking of you & your bfp today

lots of sticky baby dust all around ladies!

love ya,
es

[claud662]

Hi Ladies!!

Just got back from my SnS and the good news is that my lining is 7.5!!! I originally thought I was going to do ET on Sunday but my RE informed me that they don't do FET's typically on the weekend and wanted to push me to the early part of next week and that would give me a few more days to build my lining. When I asked to do my FET Monday or Tuesday she said "I could but she does the transfers on Wednesdays" (implying she wanted to do my transfer since over the year she has dedicated a lot of time and energy to me!!). I happily said I wanted her to do my ET and so now I'm scheduled for 2-3-10 for my ET and that would make my beta test on Valentine's Day!!!!!! Wouldn't that be a nice gift?!?!

catch up on personals later-
c

[turtle0619]

good morning everyone

so i caved...i couldnt help myself...i POAS, and i got a BFN! not even the lightest faintest of lines.
i know its still early, but i thought for sure i would see something if i was pregnant. i'm not giving up hope, but i am feeling deflated. those bad cramps from yesterday are gone and still no spotting.
i'm sad cause i told DH i was going to do it, and now he's at work all day probably thinking he'll be coming home to good news!

scd good luck today!!

ashley woohooo!!! i'm so happy for you!!

claud yay for wednesday!!! that will give your lining tons of time to get even thicker!!

katie good luck today!!

[hms]

franny I'm right there with you. 10dp3dt and I tested for the first time this morning: BFN. Man, that'll set your PMA back, won't it. Crap. Sigh.

and I hope I wasn't too negative for everyone last night - it's just where I was at 'reality'-wise, but I'm not trying to be a downer for anyone else.

of course with the BFN I may have to keep quiet for a while so as not to rain on anyone else's positive parade.

let's see some BFPs!!!

[nej]

Heather & Franny - Girls I am right with you....Friday can't get here fast enough. I also took a HPT and got a BFN. I am 10dp3dt. My DH said he still thinks we will get a BFP on Friday because he had a dream about it. I love how positive he always is. I am trying to be positive but it is hard. I did read on somebodys post that they said they digital HPT's aren't good and that is what i have at home so I am trying to still hold out hope. I also had some very light cramping last night and this morning but it felt like the AF cramping, hoping it's not though. Heather I did like your post and it was not to negative to me. I always try to prepare for either outcome and I know that sometimes I can get swept up in the hope of a BFP.

I will keep you girls in my thoughts and prayers!!!! Hopefully some of us will get BFP's!

Niki