so i'm here...waiting still...i did not POAS again today...yet! i know, i know...i totally shouldnt. and of course today is the day DH has ski club and wont be home till 9pm! how will i survive on my own that long?
so i went to acupuncture last night, but i was just so nervous that i couldnt really even relax to enjoy it. i went out after to get some bday gifts for my niece and tried to keep my mind off of things...yeah right. when i got home i started having those crazy cramp feelings again..only this time i was SURE it was AF. they seem to happen right around the time my PIO shot is due....i wonder if it has anything to do with it? i still have no spotting, but i keep feeling like AF is here like every 20 minutes. its soooo annoying and scary each time i run to the bathroom to check.
so tuesday night i had this crazy vivid dream that i took a HPT and it was soooo very positive. i was so happy in my dream i was laughing and crying and jumping up and down. it felt sooo real that when i woke up i thought i has already POAS and it was true. so when i did POAS and it was negative it hurt that much more. it was a slap back to reality.
i had a really hard time sleeping last night...i was up every 2 hours running to the bathroom thinking AF was here. when i did fall back to sleep i had another very vivid dream that i went to the bathroom and my undies were covered in dark red blood. i was so upset. i knew it was the end for poopo. when i woke up i again thought that it really already happened and i had gotten AF, but when i ran to the bathroom...nothing! ahhhhhhh WTH is my mind doing to me?? i think i need to be locked up. i had no idea how hard this would be. i'm so used to being disappointed every month for over 2 and a half years, i thought i wouldnt be this crazy feeling.
i cant imagine tonight or tomorrow will be any easier to get through. oh and i am driving to NY tomorrow night for the weekend. i am going to be the happiest person or the sadest person at this birthday party this weekend. WTH am i thinking going to hang out with babies all weekend? but i cant miss my nieces 1st birthday party!
anyway....well that was just a huge rambling crazy rant...sorry for those who actually read all of that haha
katie i know i shouldve listened to you about those evil sticks. i just couldnt help it after that dream, and i just had to get it out of my system. i'm still hopeful...crazy, but hopeful! sooooo what is up with this frankencycle?? mr. dr. with his love for calenders and timelines must be going crazy over you!! i cant believe you are still stimming...you were supposed to have your ER today!! and what about DH? does he still do his thing tomorrow? i'm so confused. i'm soo happy you have 7 follies though! thats awesome!! i know ive been in my lil crazy land over here, but know that i am always thinking of you and wait on pins and needles to hear your updates. how are the daily AM drives going? i'm sure you are sick of them already!! grow follies grow!!
riley OMG OMG OMG!!! i am just so happy for you!!! i cant believe your hpt story. how very very evil!! i'm so glad it was wrong for you!!! you now have to change your SN to riley baby really!!! haha your PREGNANT!!! how do you feel? did you have any symptoms during the 2WW??
ashley how are you feeling? did you POAS again? i totally wouldnt be able to wait that much longer for the BETA. did you call your re? take good care of that lil baby mama!!
laurie i am just heartbroken for you and DH! i am sooo sorry. even when we make it to ET the odd's arent in our favor. i know for sure it is not your fault. please dont blame yourself. i am thinking of you and praying your heart heals, and you can move on! ((((hugs))))
bei when my first cycle was canceled AF didnt show up forever! i called my RE and they also had me come in for B/W to see if i was pregnant...i laughed hard about that one..yeah right. well they ended up putting my on provea to bring on AF...it made my hair start to fall out in clumps!! like thats what i need on top of all this...going bald! and then it still took 10 days after taking the meds to get AF....longest wait ever!! hang in there!!
ester did you have your ET today?? i cant believe i didnt wish you luck before...i'm so sorry. my attention span is shot! so are you PUPO now???? wooohoooo stick embies stick!! ((((((hugs))))))
claud yay for having your FET date!! soooo exciting!! and i'm so glad it's happening on a good day for you, and with your own RE!!! are you taking time off from work?
I would try and hold out to POAS just because they are so unreliable and I don't want you to get down on POOPO!!! Hoping your weekend at your neice's birthday party is kicked off with a BFP!!! xoxo I'm in a bind with taking off from work because I teach Wednesday and Thursday Nights and it's hard for me to not be there. My clinic doesn't belive in bedrest (just light activity) so I will have to wait and see what I'm going to do!!! 
