Jan/Feb 2010--Cycle Group

[msmac]

Wow! Ladies, I have been off boards for the weekend and so much has happened. I have read wonderful news and unfortunately heartbreaking news.

I'm going to try and a few personals, but I know I am going to miss tons because I have to catch up on 3 pages.

Heather- I am so sorry. Just hug your DH and you two cry together! You both will get through this, together.

Beth, Chris. and Ronda- I have my fingers and toes cross for you, never give up on hope and faith.

Latrell- you go girl! I love your attitude.

Sam- YAY!!!!!!!!!!! I'm so happy for you

Ashley- WOW! over 1500, thats great!! Can't wait for u/s to confirm how many

And last but not least:

Katie: OMG!! I'm not going to cry while I am typing. I read the first of your post and was heartbroken, then I read about what your RE offered. GOD is an Awesome GOD, and he sent an Angel to bless you and your DH! You two never gave up on hope and Faith and God faithfully rewarded you two. Doesn't matter if it's not genetic, you two are going to be awesome parents and how ever many babies you two have, they are going to be so blessed to have two AWESOME parents like you guys. (pause..... I''m crying now.......) I'm soooooo happy for you!!! ((((((BIG HUG)))

AFM- let me pull myself together. Okay.......I had a wondeful weekend with all my girlfriends and their kids and my sons. We always stay at the Embassy Suites because we love their free buffet breakfast and of course, free happy hour everyday. It was the funniest thing because all my girlfriends were ordering margaritas, chardonnay, merlots, wonderful things like that. Then the bartender asks what I would like, and I say" I would like a Shirley Temple, and by the way, make it a double!!"

You should of seen the looks on my girls faces

After we sat dowm, they were like spill it sister!! When I told them, they were shocked and sooooo happy for me and DH. I kept telling them I won't know for sure until friday but they wouldn't let that slide. We all held hands and one of them said a prayer and claimed it. You know I was crying like a baby by then. They had said when they first saw me friday night, something just looked different about me. I have a great group of girlfriends. I told them all about my IVF Family and they said they love you all too and thank you for being there for me through out all of this.

Other than that ladies, I'm feeling fine other than sooooo sleepy all the time and sore boobs as of yesterday!


((((BIG HUGS for EVERYONE))))


Roshaunda

[DandMe]

A little update - all 15 of our fertilized embryos have divided again (day 3 today).

One is only 7 cells but the other 14 are 8 cells

Two are grade 4
Eight are grade 3
Five are grade 2

We'll be transferring two on Wednesday..

[Hope644]

Heather... I'm so sorry hon.. I know we all wish we could do something about all these bfns.

Sending up prayers for all of you girls today and wishing you comfort and peace - words just aren't enough.

(((((((((hugs)))))))))))

[katie99]

Ashley - OMG!!!!! 1580? Wow!!
I'm doing the happy dance for you!!!!! I smell twins!! Bet you're floating on air right about now! Yiiipppeeeeee! next beta on Wed?

Hope -Thanks for the graphics! they never fail to make me smile!

Ronda -I'm wishing you loads of PMA! I'm still crossed for you!
Stupid evil sticks!

Latrell -AKA Cinderella - enjoy the ball! Have a great time! oooh and a enjoy your gown! And of course a nice romantic evening with your DH - come on, girl you know I'm calling him Prince Charming, dont you?

Miyaya -I know you feel disappointed, but you're PUPO - enjoy it! And how many times have we seen grade A blasts fail and seen grade C
turn into BFP? this is totally random. These embies have their own agenda sometimes. PMA PMA and lots of sticky thoughts to you

Roshaunda -I missed you! I hope the girls weekend in Hotlanta was too much fun! I knew you'd have to dish to them! thank you for your kind words - I dont know what i'd do without the support from this place either - thankfully we DO have this place and each other!
And big hugs to your girls right back at them! other than the sore boobs, how are you doing? hope those boys kept up the house while you were away!

Sonya -Thats great news! Cheers to great embies!!!

[Hope644]

Ashley -

Congratulations!! I know it must be really difficult on a day like today to get such good news - that you want to shout it from the rooftop, but yet you feel for your sisters.

Wishing you well and doubling betas in the next few days! And of course lovely ultrasounds too!!

Hoping your #s are a result of twins if you are hoping for 2!! Betas can be very deceiving - check out betabase.info... i was convinced i had twins as my first beta as 1700, but he was one perfect little singleton. I'm sure you'll be happy with whatever number you get, though!!

[katie99]

Wishful Thinking -1st IVF in Feb
Molly05 lupron 2/4 - stims 2/13 - ER 2/22



Bei (AF -please hurry!)
Misocial (Marci) - IVF in Feb!
BabyRanger - MIA ?
Dodo928
Latrell22




Gi -BCP - polyp surg on 1/29 -stims 2/9 - ER 2/22
Bethanyneedsluck -BCP - just a bit longer!
Washingtonda -BCP -stims in Jan -ER 1st or 2nd week of Feb (MIA?)
Hopingforbaby#1 - BCP (MIA?)
Supergenius - IVF in Feb
Lou71 - BCP- baseline 2/10 - stims 2/12 - ER 2/21
Rayofsunshine (Sara) - estrace 2/11
Jaydentd - BCP - check b/w early feb



Meganlynn - on lupron - stims next week
Hope664 lupron 1/29 - stims 2/4 - ER 2/16 or 2/18
PositiveThinking- lupron 2/2 - stims ?



BlessedMama (Tracy) - stims 1/23
Tiger04- stims 1/29 - ER w/o 2/8
Lauren1171- stims 2/5 or 2/6 - ER 2/20



Claudia - FET 2/3
Rosario - FET in Feb
Katie99 -Donor embies FET 2/4
Ktelise -FET in Feb



Dandme (Sonya) - ER 1/29 - ET 2/3
MerriBabyDust - ER 1/31- ET ?
Karenthescorpio- ER 2/2




Beth84- ER 1/18 -ET 1/23 PUPO! beta 2/1 & 2/3
To_Have_Fun (Chris) -IUI 1/21 PUPO! HPT 2/1 & 2/3
Samgarkay (Samantha)- ER 1/19 - ET 1/24 PUPO! beta 2/2 (+HPT!)
Arabsrcool (Ronda) -FET 1/21 PUPO! beta 2/3
CamiWB - ER 1/20 - ET 1/23 PUPO! beta 2/3
Msmac (Roshaunda) - ER 1/21 ET 1/24 PUPO! beta 2/5
Mandy14 -ER 1/21 ET 1/24 PUPO! beta 2/5
J&C - FET 1/28 PUPO! beta 2/6
Moorebaby (Ester) - ER 1/25 - ET 1/28 PUPO! beta 2/8
Miyaya - ER 1/30 - ER 2/1 PUPO! beta 2/15




Lou71 - bfn trying again Feb!
Rileybabymaybe (Jacqueline) BFP! Our First one!
SDC bfn
PatyPaty cancelled ET - trying in April
Babyhopes (Laurie) bfn
Turtle (Franny) bfn - trying in March
Rlk1 (Kim) - bfn - FET in March
Nej (Niki) - bfn
HMS (Heather) bfn
Ashleyncsu77 - BFP! beta #1 - 1580 WOW!

[turtle0619]

heather ((((((((((((((hugs)))))))))))))) i'm so so so sorry! i cant believe you are at work. this sucks. i know how you feel, and i am here for you if you need to cry, scream or vent! take care of yourself!!

dandme that is an awesome update! everything is going perfect for you!! you are so close to having your baby be a reality! just a few more days and you'll be PUPO!

ashley YOUR PREGNANT!!!!! please, please, please dont feel bad about it!! your success is what makes people like me keep moving forward. i'm sure you are still scared with your past m/c's , but please try to stay positive and enjoy the moment!

katie i dont know what to say that hasnt already been said, but i am so happy that this chance has come for you! there is nobody that deserves such an amazing gift then you. i cant wait for thursday for you!!

cluad is it wednesday yet??? thank you so much for always being here for you! you are amazing, and wonderful things are about to happen for you...i can feel it!! (((((()))))))

beth oh hun...what a mean joke that beta # is! i am also not giving up on you yet...what did the RE say when they called you back? do you have to go back tomorrow for another beta? i am praying that lil embie is just a late implanter, and it will keep getting stronger!! stay strong sweetie!!

miyaya please dont give up on your lil embabies!! they are where they need to be to keep growing. embies do better inside their mom's! i'm sorry you are in so much pain, but please take it easy, and rest. know that you are PUPO, and try to enjoy it!! PMA PMA girl!

afm well i think all of the hormones are leaving my body because i'm starting to feel a little better. i am still heartbroken, but i'm not crying as much. this weekend was just alot to go through. i still need a good nights sleep so maybe tomorrow will be better. i called and set up my follow up (F-U) appointment for wednesday. i know she will start bringing up the whole donor egg thing to me again, and i'm going to freak out. not only am i not ready to go there yet, but DH said he is against it. he said it would be like having sex with a stranger, and wouldnt feel right about it not being mine. i tried to explain to him that maybe one day it might be our only option for me to be pregnant. he said he would rather adopt, but we wouldnt be able to afford that for a long time, and my RE thinks she can get my insurance to cover the donor. i dont know. i just have this longing deep down inside to be pregnant, and i'm scared that if we adopt i will always have an emptiness inside me. i know that sounds selfish, and horrible. i dont know...i'm over-thinking things.
i am not looking forward to this appointment because i know our options are looking bad. there are no other protocol's to try on me, and even though we finally made it to the end this time we still only got one egg. who knows if we will ever even make it to that point again? my dreams are slipping through my fingers, and theres nothing i can do about it.

oh and i'm gonna YELL at someone over there!!! on friday at 11:45am my doctor personally called me and DH to let us know the bad news. then at 2pm as we were about to head out the door to NY the house phone rang and it was a nurse calling to tell us our results. i told her i already talked to the dr, and i didnt need her to tell me the bad news again. she said she was sorry and hung up. then while we were driving to NY at around 430 my cell phone rang, and it was the RE's office again. i answered the phone and it was another nurse calling with my results!!! WTF??? LEAVE ME ALONE!! i told her i already got my BFN TWICE already that day and i didnt need her to call me. are you kidding me??? i lost it, and started to bawl. like it wasnt bad enough the 1st time, but to get 3 phone calls telling me i wasnt pregnant was not cool!! the more i think about it the more pissed off i get.

ok well anyway i didnt mean to go off for so long. i guess i have alot to get off my mind. i'm sorry you guys always get to hear it!

***much love***

[beth84]

Hi ladies - Thanks everyone for the support and sympathy. A quick note, and then I'm going to head off for a couple of days and then catch up when I get back on the boards.

I talked to my RE and he confirmed that the odds are very slim this time, but he does want me to stay on the progesterone and do another beta on Weds. He also said that we ended up with 3 blasts going to the freezer this time. That was a surprise because on transfer day, there were only 4 at blast, we transferred 3 of them and he didn't think the 4th would make it to the freezer. I guess a couple more caught up. Anyway, he is stumped - there's no good reason why I would have three chemicals in a row. I told him that I'm going to take a couple months off and we'll do a FET in April.

Congrats to Ashley and Sam - we need more good news!

Heather - I'm so sorry...

[DandMe]

Franny I think it's really horrid that your clinic called you three times. You have every right to be emotional and angry - it was pouring salt on a wound... don't they keep records of phone calls..??? Anyhow, I am glad you are feeling a bit stronger.

[to_have_fun08]

I am just scanning the posts real quick and don't have much time so will try and catch up later.

Franny - (((HUGGS))) Don't give up. I am in your shoes, have been there for awhile now. I know my eggs suck and possibly the only way to achieve my goal of having a child is through donor egg. It took me a little while to get used to the idea but after going through so many canceled cycles and BFN cycles it got easier and easier to make the decision for donor. In the end it is still your child. After I convinced myself I was Ok with donor egg, I had to convince hubby. He was not for it at first. Thought it was really strange. He was caught up on the fact that he wanted our child to have my traits and if we went through donor the child wouldn't. I had to convince him that no it isn't my genetics but it is still biologically mine and that a child could pick up traits just by being around me. After awhile he caught on. When I was in the process of deciding, a lady on another board brought up one major fact. With donor egg you are only taking 1 cell from someone else. Yes, it might be a very important cell but of the million cells we have in our bodies, only one came from the donor. I hope you and your husband can come up with a decision that is right for the both of you. Also, your Dr could be correct, some insurances do pay for donor cycles. My insurance will not pay for testing or the actual ER but once the eggs are out of the donor, my insurance kicks in. So icsi, embryo storage, transfer etc is covered. I had tears in my eyes reading your post because I have been there so many times and know what you are going through.

Good Luck to you!!

Beth - Don't give up hope. Your beta is still early. My clinic test on day 11 and day 13. I have seen gals that have their first betas as 5 and go on to have successful pregnancies. FX'd for doubling betas.

Katie - how are you doing. Bet ya can't wait for Thursday. I am still giddy from your great luck. Hoping those blasts are really sticky ones.



Chris

[J&C]

Beth - I've seen lower betas do just fine as pregnancies. Hang in there!!!

hms - I'm so sorry.

[J&C]

karenthescorpio - GL with ER tomorrow!!

moorebaby - I wish my beta was on 2/8. I feel like 2/6 is just a bit early. I usually POAS the morning before, but I think I'm just not going to do it this time. Last time getting a negative was just too heartbreaking. We'll see if I make it until Saturday or not.

DandMe - WOW - 15 embies. Grow embies grow!!!!!

latrell - So sorry!! At least (not that this helps, I know) you found out early in your cycle and not weeks into it. Here's hoping that when you start again, that it takes beautifully!!!

ashley - Congratulations!!!!!

msmac - I love a great group of girlfriends! It sounds like you had such fun. I'm glad you had a great trip!

Hope - LOVE LOVE LOVE the graphics. Keep them coming!

[Tiger04]

Beth- I'm so sorry, maybe a few more days could show different results! Don't give up yet!

Dandme- That gives me such hope! I haven't seen results like this yet since I'm new to the post! Congratulations and I'm really looking forward to hearing how things go!

Katie - You're so inspirational! I can only imagine how much has been lifted from you shoulders and how great you and DH must feel!

Sonya - Thanks for sharing the great news! How exciting!!

Chris - keep thinking positive. You never know!

Heather - I'm so sorry. Grab a bottle of wine and do something for yourself! Maybe a massage.

Ashley - congratulations! I'm so thrilled for you! I'm just on the edge of my chair and can't wait to hear more!

Miyaya - it only takes one

Roshaunda - Congrats! It must have been great to share the good news with your girlfriends! Nothing can beat those great friendships!

Franny - It's so hard when you and DH have different opinions. My DH was against even entertaining donor sperm and now, 7 months later, he is totally on board if our first IVF doesn't work. So, just keep slipping in the conversations how being pregnant is important to you and after time he may be able to view things differently and change his mind. Seriously, I never thought my husband would even consider it and then he just brought it up one night at dinner! I was shocked!

So, I had my first blood draw today after starting stims. So, I'm on Stim day 4. I received a call from my nurse today and I was at 460, which I have no idea what that is and so they lowered my dose from 100 to 50 of follistim. I have and u/s and another blood draw on Wednesday and they will reassess. I think it should be okay, but any advice on what the 460 means and if I should be concerned would be great!

[bei]

hello ladies hope u all doing well i just wanna say finally i got my af today yay i m so happy today

ashley ; holy cow , contrats u must having twice when is ur next beta ,

beth ; dont lose ur hope evrything will be fine , i will pray for u , please stay positive, and good luck lots of sticy dust for u

Hms ; I m sorry,

sam : i m happy for u and good luck for the offcial news tomorrow:D

[moorebaby]

j & c- when you had your fet, were they closer to the blast level? maybe that's why they're having you test on the 6th. i didn't poas my last cycle & i won't this time either. dh & i made an agreement that i won't, but believe me it's very enticing.

beth- there's still hope. if your er didn't think so, he wouldn't have you continue with the progesterone. i'm praying for you.

franny- wth is wrong with your clinic??? do they not have something called COMMUNICATION amongst themselves. i'm sorry hun! it's like a cruel joke. by the way, i don't think you sound selfish at all. i'm looking forward to one day, hopefully sooner than later, to carry a child & nurture him/her inside of me & feel him/her grow. i think it's a natural feeling as a woman that you have.

sonya- that is such great news! your embabies are growing & dividing so nicely. you're almost pupo!

roshaunda- sounds like you have a very supportive group of girlfriends! i'm glad that you had a nice time away with them. your bfp is not too far away!

miyaya- you're pupo...woohoo!!! get that pma up girl! your embabies are where they need to be & they are going to grow & stick!

latrell- i'm so JEALOUS...you get to dress up & be cinderella!!! i never get to dress up like that. i hope you & dh have a wonderful time & enjoy each other.

ashley- congratulations girl! you're preggo! i know you're being cautious. believe me i will be the same way. but enjoy it. that's a super high # by the way!

bei- yay for af almost getting here!

heather- i'm so sorry about your results (((HUGS))) do what you need to do, so you can heal & continue your journey on whatever path you choose to take. we're all here for you.

chris- please stay hopeful. it may have been a late implantation & is very possible that the nfp won't show until the 2.3 hpt. i've got my fingers crossed.

to everyone else i missed, i'm thinking of you all & praying for you.

afm...i go back to school tomorrow i kind of liked this ";aying around & not doing much"...lol. life goes on though. i know teachers & my students are going to be asking me if i'm okay. so apparently there was a confirmed case of 5ths diseases at my school a few weeks ago, but the email was just sent out. it's only possibly a problem if a woman in her 1st trimester is exposed to it....it could affect the continuation of the pregnancy. anyways, so i called the re & they had me come in to do b/w, so they can test for the antibodies, which would mean i'm immune to it. either way though, if i was exposed, it would have already happen as the student is cleared of the infection & is already back in school. re said i could go back to school tomorrow & they'll call me tomorrow with my blood results. good news is that i don't have this student as mine, so i never had any direct contact with him. well this time next week, i'll know if i'm preggo or not. i'm trying not to think about it, although it is super hard.

lots of sticky baby dust all around ladies!

love ya,
es