Jan/Feb 2010--Cycle Group

[dodo928]

hello ladies, as always, love you gals! thank you for your prayers! I just came back from SNS. RE found new cyst in my right ovary but the left one last time is now disappeared. RE said it's good sign telling him that my brain is working and turning the cyst grow and subside when AF is here or is coming. He told me to start BCP today. If everything's going smoothly within range, I will start Lupron on 2/20, stop BCP on 2/26, my donor ER will be 3/15 and my 5dt will be on 3/20. It's raining heavily in San Diego today. I heard the east coast has historic snow storm. KEEP WARM! do more personals later!

Katie: Hang in there! I know I'll be the same, analyzing every movement and feeling in my body. XOXO

[Hope644]

YAY Dodo928! So glad to hear that you're looking good to get going again!!! Congratulations!! I know you are so happy to get the green light!

[Hope644]

Tiger - Thinking of you... keeping you in my prayers. I hope all went well today and they were able to find some swimmers for your ER.

[claud662]

Good evening ladies,

Tiger-I have been checking the bb all day to see if you posted after this morning's scare!!!! I TRULY hope that they were able to find swimmers in the Tesa this morning and you are still recovering from the ER. Please keep us updated ASAP!!!

J&C-18 is still considered preggers!!! I am throwing doubling dust your way and have my fingers crossed for Monday's b/w!!! Have you POAS? Maybe take a digital since they test positive if the beta is over 50!!

Katie-hope the semi-bed rest isn't making you crazy and make sure that DH still waits on you hand and foot tomorrow EVEN though it's Superbowl Sunday!!!!

Sonya-pick up your PMA!!! It is WAYYY to early to feel any symptoms and your blasts were amazing so don't get down on this cycle!!!!

Merri-I SOOOO hope you get the birthday present you deserve!!! Good thing the snow didn't effect your ET

Roshaunda-YAHH for BFP and letting your DH know!! What a wonderful story and I'm so happy for you

Es-thinking of you for Monday's results!!! I've got everything crossed for you

dodo=so glad you have a plan from your RE (not sure if I read it on this thread or the March/April thread!!!) looks like you are on your way to the BFP!

Karen-Hope all goes well tomorrow and I will chant 10, 10, 10 all morning so you get your wish!!!

AFM....first day off BCP's and I'm actually already spotting!!! 2 more days until my SnS and I just HOPE and PRAY that everything comes back normal for me to go ahead with estrogen. I'm so mad because my nurse put in my med call to the pharmacy and dumb me didn't check my "stash" of meds from the past year and it turns out that I have sooo much of vagifem and the vivelle patch and didn't have to order it so I just wasted money on my co-pay Just goes to show that you have to be on top of everything!!!!!

I'm feeling down tonight after being around my SIL who is pregnant and I hate that I let it get to me I just can't wait till it's my turn.....love to everyone and if I don't post tomorrow I will be checking constantly (especially during the Superbowl!!!)

xoxo
c

[dodo928]

AFM I just finally went to see RE about the BFN. I thought I would skip it but it just ate at me. So I went and at 29 years old I have been told not to even try again that I have a very poor egg quality problem and that donor eggs are the only way to go. Doesn't matter cause DH was already done with it all before this but that is what my RE said. I am still trying to deal with it all but I wanted to check in and glad to hear you all were able to continue and best of luck to all of you. You still remain in my prayers. I do think of you all often. May all your dreams come true.

So happy to see your post! Missing you! Sorry for having such drama! I hope you can take it easy. If DH said done with it now, it really means now but not forever. I know going through the cycles have been very stressful. Not only women, but the spouses are also very stressed out. Both of them are going through many roller coasters but not only us who takes all the meds, and needles, or SNS. DH and I had many therapies before going back to try again. The only thing I learn is that we have to acknowledge our spouse's pain and also to share with him our sorrow. Maybe it's time to have some fun and let the tension cool down. Maybe during this time, you can get pregnant on your own. who knows! Also, try not to just take one RE's opinion. Try to get a second opinion! You might be surprised. I heard people staying at a clinic for 3 cycles and got BFN but got pregnant once they switched to another clinic. Different REs have different protocol and different meds. Each individual has different chemical in their bodies and will respond to each meds differently. I hope you and your DH don't feel you're not good enough because it's none of your fault! xoxo

[dodo928]

I'm feeling down tonight after being around my SIL who is pregnant and I hate that I let it get to me I just can't wait till it's my turn.....love to everyone and if I don't post tomorrow I will be checking constantly (especially during the Superbowl!!!)

xoxo
c

Hope you feel better by now! It's always uneasy to be around with someone who is pregnant. I'm glad it's over. Maybe it's a sign telling you that it's not the right time to cheer up someone when you're not ready to do that. Try not to torture yourself. You don't deserve it! Maybe try not to chat too long and stay too long next time. Try to follow your heart or whatever make yourself feel better!

[Arabsrcool]

Tiger,

Hope they found sperm after the tesa!. Thinking of you.

J&C and Roshaunda,,

Congrats to you both on being preggers!. About time we get more BFP's on this thread.

Merri,

I hope you get the BEST birthday present ever!

Katie,
how are you holding up?

dodo928,
Glad to hear you and the donor are on track for March!

afm, AF came to visit on Saturday and boy she is not nice . I called and and nurse put me on schedule for Tuesday at 10am for baseline u/s and RE had cancellation, so I will talk to him in person instead of a phone consult. Hope he is still thinking FREEBIE cycle. My DH is wanting to go on vaca to TN if this second FET is a BFN. I would love to also, but worry about the $. So we will see. He just thinks it gives us something to look forward to if our last attempt is a failure.

Ronda

[moorebaby]

hi ladies! happy superbowl sunday! so my beta is tomorrow. i can't believe it's that close! i'm trying not to analyze what i think the result will be. i don't feel any "different," but then again i really didn't last time i got a bfp, although it ended up being a m/c. i guess if it's a bfn, i will be shocked, since i really have tried to have a very positive outlook this cycle, even though it definitely has been hard at certain times. tomorrow i go in for b/w for 7am & we will forward all house calls to dh's cell phone, so he can get the news. then he will call me with the news...good or bad. i know i'll be at school, but i just don't think i can make it through the day. but then again, maybe dh & i shouldn't forward the call & just wait until we both get home & lisen to the message together. i know if i'll ask him, he'll just say "whatever you want to do hun." what do you ladies think?

ronda- glad re had a cancellation & you can meet up with him in person for your f/u appointment. let us know how the 'feebie" conversation goes.

claudia- yes, being around pregnant women is definitely something that gets me down & makes me wonder when it'll be my turn. but we have to remember that one day it WILL be our turn, hopefully sooner than later, as this crazy rollercoaster can be no fun.

j & c- good luck on your 2nd beta tomorrow! everything's crossed for you!

mandy- thinking about you. hope everything turned out ok with your beta.

tiger- did everything work out yesterday? i really hope so. my thoughts are with you & your dh.

karen- good luck on your et today! you'll be pupo very soon! let us know what you & dh end up naming your embabies.

tracy- tomorrow's the big day! i'll be thinking about you tomorrow! good luck on the et!

lots of sticky baby dust all around ladies!

love ya,
es

[gi]

Hi girlies,

Roshunda OMG Big Congrats you must be over the moon and what a fantastic annivarsary present, about time we got another BFP

bei good luck on the March/April thread will be popping over to see how you girls are doing xx

Cheekyone so nice to hear from you fingers crossed next time is your time xxx

J&C Congrats for the moment its a BFP!!! I will pray extra hard for a big double beta for you xxx

Merri whoo hoo PUPO and wouldnt a bfp be an amazing birthday present, at least now been snowed in you have no excuse but to put those feet up

dodo great you are starting your bcp it brings you one step closer to your bfp, god bless donors!!

Claud yeah for AF!!! Mine came yesterday 2 days after stopping bcp its a relief as i hate waiting for things to happen!! Its natural to be down but you will be getting your bfp very shortly!!! chin up girl we will get there unfortunatley for us its the hard way!!

Tiger i have been reading and reading since your message and i really hope all went well and ye got some sperm xxxx

Rhonda does that mean you will get your FET soon? I really hope so xxx

Moorebaby i have all me fingers and toes crossed for you for tommorrow...nerve racking times isnt it?? Best of luck xxx

Katie how is the semi bed rest going?? I fear j is going to be a total control freak on my (fingers crossed ) 2ww already he wont let me do a thing and i am only down regulating!! I tried to empty the diswasher last nite and he lifted me up and plonked me back on the couch!! At the moment he has my fish pie made and in the oven and is now ironing!!! ah this is a tough life To pass the time i am doing a latch hook rug of a "forever friends bear" its taking ages but its gorgous, if my friend has a baby girl i will give it to her otherwise i will keep if for my nursery see PMA!!!!

I am a bit nervous about tuesday i hope my body is reacting well ah well time will tell, enjoy the Super Bowel, i havent a clue how it works but j always enjoys it (total sports fanatic) so he is going to stay up late and watch it tonight.

Sending ye lots of sticky irish baby dust xxxxx

[karenthescorpio]

Hey everyone. I'm liking the PMA and BFP's we are seeing now! My transfer was moved to tomorrow AM-early. So that means I'm most likely in the PGD test group. My nurse mentioned that you can kind of figure out what group you are in if your transfer is on Day 6 b/c they don't usually do Day 6 transfers. Wooo whoo! I know I'm going to get pregnant regardless, but this really does increase our odds! So tomorrow morning for sure! Not sure what to name the little embies. I'll decide after the transfer. I hope everyone has a wonderful Sunday! xo
Karen

[katie99]

hi everyone -

This is the last day of couch duty! So far I can feel my IQ decreasing from the crap on tv. Plus I'm soooo bored, really the last thing I need right now is MORE time on my hands to continue my downslide into CrazyLand also known as the 2ww. I dont even HAVE a 2ww - I've really only got an 8d wait - but to no avail - I keep wandering around whining and muttering to myself on whether it worked or not. You see, even while trying to force myself to NOT think this to death, I still do! Lets take today for example, I have probably been back and forth between
"I think maybe....." to "ugh most likely bfn" back and forth all day long
Oh, yes, this is its own special kind of torture - and there are still 5 more days of this to go *sigh*. On a high note after taking care of everything since Thursday I think my DH is dying to go back to work tomorrow where he can actually sit down for a few miniutes - he he

Franny -Happy Superbowl - one of my favorite snacking days of the year! football? oh, yes thats nice too, but I really just like it for the junk food! How are you honey?

Sonya -Are you feeling tormented yet? ARRRGGHH!!! Somehow Friday will come....

Roshaunda -Did you say you had no signs / symptoms at all? I've got nothing! But i know not to read into things - has it started to sink in yet? I'm so thrilled for you two!

Es -oh, thank God - just 1 more day for you! I would wait til you get home for the news, if you can! But it will be sweet to hear it together I think. Good luck for you tomorrow & loads of patience to make it through the whole day - ugh the waiting for the phone!

Merri -Yay for 2 rock star embies! you're PUPO! Ooooh, I think a beta on your birthday is a special sign!

Gi -Awww, J sounds so sweet! I'll bet you two are so cute together OK so roll on Tuesday! Get ready honey - THIS IS IT!!!!
Yes, my DH cant believe how 2 dogs can be so high maintenance - who me? i've no idea how they got so spoiled I know you understand that - -xoxo

Dodo-Oh, honey I'm so happy that everything fell into place for you! YAY!! Ready to go!!! I have such a good feeling about this!

Claudia -Looks like you're all set too! I'm so glad to see everyone just ready to go! I can imagine that its hard to be around your SIL or anyone pg right now - I have been lucky and dont have anyone pg in my life right now, but if I did, I'm ashamed to say that I'd probably avoid them I am sure that you're next up, so I pray that the next big belly you're around is yours! xoxo

Karen - Yiipppeee! for figuring out that study! Dont you just love when nurses talk too much? Good Luck tomorrow! rest up! You'll be PUPO!!

Ronda -Yeah, AF after a cycle is always an adventure, isnt it?
Hooray for baseline! And I'm praying that your RE has a good memory!
Remember you have lots of witnesses! I'd be jealous about your trip to TN (we got married there) but since you'll be BFP, do you still get to go on a happy trip?

Hope- How was your blizzard? Bet your little one liked it - I loved snow when I was little. How goes the stims? grow em girl

Tracy -PUPO tomorrow! Good luck!

Tiger -Did your RE get enough swimmers? hoping they did!

Lou -We miss you! hope you're having a great trip!

And back to the couch for me - sigh - hugs & prayers all around - xoxo

[Tiger04]

Hi Ladies,

First, I want to thank all of you for thinking about me and all of the thoughts and prayers you have sent my way. Unfortunately, they did not find any swimmers yesterday. My DH was under anithesia for his procedure, so the urologist came right to me after leaving the surgery and told me the horrible news. I just started bawling the minute we didn't...came out of his mouth. I just knew it right then. At that moment I felt so alone and that someone just died...or that our dream died. We had 3 doctors and 1 nurse with us and the nurse was crying too. It was just devasting to everyone because they get to know you since we've been going through all of the planning for over a year. So, we didn't go through with my E/R since we didn't have any sperm to fertilize the eggs and it wouldn't make sense to freeze the eggs. Then, part of me wanted to go through it and donate the eggs because especially reading your story, katie, I realize more and more that there are so many really great people that could benefit from it and I had everything ready to go. I felt like a selfish waste. But, since we didn't have a donor set up and we couldn't change the paperwork to donate vs research because my DH was under anithesia and they aren't allowed to sign any legal documents. I just didn't think everything through because I never thought that we would have been in this position.

I'm just so angry right now because I don't know what changed since last April when DH had his first biopsy and they found sperm. it was at a different facility, a facility that we had a super bad experience with, and part of me wonders if the results were accurate. I feel like they were wrong from the beginning and that makes me so angry because the inital results that we were told in april was that there wasn't any sperm and we went through the mourning process...then 5 hours later the lab called us back and said that they did find it, so then we were given hope back. Since that day we have spent so much time and just an unreal amount of money getting ready for IVF as our last option to have biological children...and now we are back to zero. It's hard, because we're never going to know if the other facility gave us bad results, but i'm so resentful right now.

My DH and I have just been in an emotional rollercoaster yesterday and this morning. We both said, well, maybe this is it then. Maybe we just shouldn't have kids, but then we think about our future and realize that maybe donor sperm is okay. It's just too much to process right now and make a choice. I'm just not ready and now I need to clean up so many messes. I just threw out everything this morning, I need it out of my sight all the drugs I was suppose to take, the progesterone, the needles, everything!

So, our IVF journey is offially done. If we decide to move forward with donor sperm, i would just do IUI. Can't even think about that right now.

Sorry, I'm just rambling right now, but I want you all to know that you're really a wonderful support group. I don't know what it would be like to not be able to just feel like there are people to listen right now.

I wish you all the best of luck and still want to hear about all of the positive journeys. We all wish for this and I know this might be selfish to say, but all of deserve it too.

Thanks, Lisa

[Lauren1171]

Lisa,

I can't imagine what you are going through right now!!!! I am so so sorry! It totally sucks is all I can say. I hope you and your DH decide to move forward with donor sperm but I understand it's a huge decision. Again, I am so sorry!

Lauren

[J&C]

msmac - Can't wait to see your numbers double/triple too!!

moorebaby - I'm rooting for you also!!! Come on BFP!!!! As far as the call, I would do whatever you're comfortable with. I can't imagine getting that call at work. When I had my BFN last cycle, I cried the rest of the day and was so thankful it was a Saturday. But you're going to get a BFP, so whichever is best for you!

I can't wait for the phone call tomorrow. I'm just praying that everything is still headed in the right direction. I'll feel a little better after that.

I also forgot to mention WAY BACK that I did eat Chinese right after my transfer. I'm sure that had everything to do with it...LOL.

[katie99]

Lisa -Oh, honey I am heartbroken for you & your DH! What a devastating day for you both, and to have news like that just thrust upon you at the last minute. I can relate to what you're feeling, it feels like something you just cant wrap your head around. I'm sorry. That was a beautiful thought you had of donating. I can imagine how difficult this is to accept, especially for a man, but family doesnt mean shared DNA (as lots of you wonderful girls have said these past 2 weeks) You need to take some time and recover a bit from news like that. I do hope that when you've two have recovered some, that you will pursue your dreams of parenthood. Remembered that its not which road you take, but the pot of gold at the end. Prayers for you and your DH - BIG HUGS- xoxo