Jan/Feb 2010--Cycle Group

[Lauren1171]

Positive thinking - I like your PMA send me some. I have lost mine!!! I went to visit DH at work and talked to my embabies on the way.

GI - My DH falls asleep immediately after we shut the light. I lay there for an hour...fall asleep, then wake once every hour! I laugh at people who POAS all the time, and now it's all I can think about! I want to skip tommorrow, but I will be thinking about it while working, so I probably will in the AM!

Hope - congrats! Those are great numbers!

[katie99]

Hi everyone -

How are you all doing today? I had an interesting day yesterday, i thought it would be ok to go and pick up some pg & babies books. So I did that and then ended up poking around the baby section a little bit, wow am I clueless! Then I went and had lunch with a close friend, which was nice for a while until she read me the riot act for not switching to all organic dairy, meats and produce! I was getting really irritated, I mean a natural pg (without ivf) probably wouldnt even be sure that they were pg yet! and here is my friend making like I'm so irresponsible - Oooh, I was mad! Its not that I have an issue with organic anything, but organic foods seem to be triple the price! She did get me thinking though about all of the hormones & antibiotics in the dairy and meats. How about you all?
Have you all gone organic? Oh, and then when I got home I had the first spotting episode, 3 times I wiped and saw a dime sized pink spot, and had some sharp pains on the left side - I was completely freaked out! We read all the time how it happens,its common with ivf, and dont stress, but I've not had ANY spotting at all - so that combined with sharp pains was kind of scary! Of course this happens AFTER buying pg books - so I was afraid that I somehow jinxed myself - I guess after taking so many tries to get here its normal to feel that way - but Jeez! the timing! So now, the books are still in the bag from the store and stuck in the closet
for now, maybe in a few days I'll feel more like reading them - but for today, I'm on spot watch - UGH!


Lou How are you hanging in there? Its a good thing that you're keeping busy. The last week is the worst. Im with you on the no POAS idea - those darn things dont know what they're talking about half the time! I love the colored posts! Promise you'll do them on the pg thread too?

Hope YAY!!! CONGRATULATIONS!!!!!!

Gi I have PMA enogh for the both of us! Dont go by signs & symptoms - or lack of! My boobs never hurt at all during the 2ww, and I was crampy the entire time At 6dp5dt I had such sharp cramps all night I was sure it would be a negative, but two days later I was shocked with a positive - Wed is coming for all three of you girls - Thank God you all are on the same schedule (mostly) so you have Lou & Ronda for extra support! I'm so crossed that I cant feel my fingers or toes anymore!!! Hang in there honey, its just 5 more days to go - xoxo

Ronda How are you holding up! I hear you about tearing up from feeling so grateful to your RE! Tee Heee - I think you'll end up in the same boat as me - unable to come across the man without bawling every time! God Bless a caring DR!!

Lauren oh, no honey! Thats way too early for those damn sticks!! You were 7dp3dt? Thats the same as 5dp5dt!!! Too early! Dont listen to those sticks, your urine wouldnt show hcg yet. I was dopey and did POAS on 6dp5dt and was crushed that it was neg - I knew it was too early, but was hoping, i spent the next two days moping around then they called with positive results. The stick never showed lines, actually it was 3 more days after my beta that the damn stick finally showed a faint line, and by that time I was 11dp5dt. Sending you loads of PMA! Just a day and half left! You can get through this!!! - xoxo

Positive Aww, no. talking to the embies is something we all do! Only 1 of mine listened though! Teee Heee! Hooray for a good job interview! Do they offer maternity leave?

Sarah Ackkk! NO housework or lifting! Latin or not, I'm with whoever said its 2010 - he has to help out. Please be careful with the lifting! At least until your beta tomorrow! Crossed for your beta!

[katie99]

Latrell22



Jaydentd - BCP - check b/w early feb



Dodo928 lupron 2/20 - donor ER 3/15 - ET 3/20
Bei lupron - stims 2/29



Supergenius stims 2/26 - ER 3/12 (tentative)




Claudia - on estrogen - FET 3/10






Sarita28 (Sarah) ER 2/19 - ET 2/22 PUPO! - beta 3/5
Lauren ER 2/21 - ET 2/24 PUPO! - beta 3/6
Arabsrcool (Ronda) FET 2/25 PUPO! - beta 3/10
Lou71 ER 2/24 - ET 2/27 PUPO! - beta 3/10
Gi ER 2/22 - ET 2/25 PUPO! - beta 3/11
PositiveThinking ER 2/21 - ET 2/24 PUPO! - beta 3/11




Lou71 - bfn trying again Feb!
Rileybabymaybe (Jacqueline) BFP! Our First one!
SDC bfn
PatyPaty cancelled ET - trying in April
Babyhopes (Laurie) bfn
Turtle (Franny) bfn - trying in March
Rlk1 (Kim) - bfn - FET in March
Nej (Niki) - bfn
HMS (Heather) bfn
Ashleyncsu77 - BFP! OMG! ITS TWINS!!
Samgarkay (Samantha) BFP! beta #1 52.7 - beta #2 on 2/4
Beth84 bfn - FET in April
Arabsrcool (Ronda) bfn - f/u appt 2/9
CamiWB - bfn - f/u appt 2/16
To_Have_Fun (Chris) bfn - trying in March /April
MsMac (Roshaunda) BFP! beta #1 365! WOW!
J&C chemical - f/u appt 2/16
Tiger04 cancelled - hopefully trying IUI
Moorebaby (Ester) bfn
Miyaya - chemical
Dandme (Sonya )- BFP! beta #1 -26 / beta #2 54.2
Katie99 - BFP! beta #1 - 65 / beta #2 - 153
Karenthescorpio OMG! ITS TWINS!!
Bethanyneedsluck cancelled
Blessedmama (Tracy) bfn
MerribabyDust BFP! beta #1 - 267! - beta #2 562!! - beta #3 1127!
KTelise BFP! beta #1 - 140!
Kerribell BFP! beta #1 - 189 - beta #2 - 404!
Meganlynn BFP! beta #1 -108 - beta #2 -294!
Hope664 BFP! beta #1 -557!

[gi]

Thanks ladies for the PMA i think its returning - well for today anyway!!!!

Katie oh isnt spotting so scary even though we know its ok!!! You just relax that body of yours (if you can) and let that miracle little baby grow big and strong. I have to admit i dont eat organic food and dont plan on starting anytime soon a balanced healthy diet is perfect, you dont drink or smoke unlike lots of other pg women and thats way more dangerous, you do whats best for you and what you feel comfortable with lots of people will give advice but trust your own instinct otherwise you will paranoid over everything!!!

Right may go still in work, think POAS marathon will start tomorrow i know still early but seriously those sticks are calling my name!!!

gi xx

[sarita28]

Positive: I should have asked you a long time ago how you deal with your husband's machismo! Oh! I don't know some days! He was not like this when we were dating! Now he just complains all the time. I tell myself it's his upbringing, and that he's under alot of stress and doesn't know how to deal with it (he owns and runs a 660 acre African Palm farm back home, is the sole income for his mother and little brother- who he's putting through private school, we're trying to have a baby, he can't find steady work anymore, and he has to go home for 1 1/2 years starting around June.) As for slowly getting him to do things around the house, he cleans the bathroom by himself (I hate cleaning the bathroom; all the chemicals make me nautious.) He sweeps the floors once in a while, and washes HIS dishes (won't wash any I have dirtied.) He cooks for both of us once in a while, but more often than not he boycotts and won't eat at all if I'm not cooking, or he makes something for himself. I suppose we have only been married for two years. He'll come around. Sigh. This last month has just been so hard. He doesn't realize what I'm going through, and I feel like he doesn't want to know what I'm going through. He just wants me pregnant, and he doesn't care how it happens. How many years have you and your husband been together? Was he like mine when you first got married? I have a friend who is of European-descent, born and raised in Iowa, etc, who is also married to a guy from Honduras. He helps her out around the house, but they also have a 5 and 2 year old. She has told me that my hubby is definitely more stubborn than hers, but perhaps he'll get better when the baby comes. I keep telling myself that, too. Anything to get through this period in our lives!

Sorry for the novel...I hope you're hanging in there with the 2ww!

[Lauren1171]

GI - You are one day behind me. I POAS yesterday and today both negative. I am early so I hope the Blood test is better! I have been having AF symptoms today.....or it could be the Italian Sub I had for lunch! Just not feeling too great. I have one more stick left for tomorrow morning. These days are dragging by!

Sara - Let him cook his own dinners if he wants to be stubborn! Hopefully everything changes when the baby is here.

[Positivethinking]

Hey girls, just a quick to answer to katie about Organic Food. I have to say that to me, it is very important that at least meat and poultry have no antibiotic or hormones because it has been proven by many research that the more antibiotic you take the more resistant you become to medecine and this is why people need stronger medication. This is a huge problem right now in the medical field. However, I dont think I would change my diet because someone tell me I am unconscious. It would piss me off. I think you have to do what is important to you and do what make you confortable with your health. In Washington Dc Wholefood prices are very similar to Shopper, Safeways or cheaper brand. I also think that the less chemical I get ,the better... so fruits and vegetable are also organic but I would never judge someone for not caring about organic. I do it for me, not because I have to or someone tell me....

One week finally went by, it was the longest week ever. Okay one more week to go....Still no symptoms except I am so tired but Icannot sleep at night and wake super super early (that's propably why I am tired...) then try to go back to sleep...
Ohh and I finally bought the HPT... I have not used it yet, I will try to wait until Sunday...

[Positivethinking]

Hi Sarita: I dont know what to tell you except that my Dear Mexican Husband is helping a lot compared to my brother in laws, he is different from other mexicans. Right now I am not working so I am doing everything...but when I worked, we shared chores 50/50, well more like 60/40. We have been together for 12 years, living togther for 10 years and married for 5 and the difference in culture has been very hard. I packed my suitcases many times, left, came back more than I can count. I have no family here so one time I slept at the hotel because I could not stand him and the macho mexican in him was not leaving the house...so I left. The first year of marriage was the heardest one. But only through communication, and being open minded to other person's culture is what works. I dont want to scare you because everyone is different but my sister in law is expected to work, cook, clean and take care of the kids and on the top of that the husband is the one controlling the finance. She also wakes up early to prepare breakfast for her dh.... I am pretty sure your dh is not like that. He cleans the bathroom. My dh does not even want to touch the toilet bowl, ever.. Bathrooms are left to me.....I used to scream and yield and be frustrated, I am not the most patience person and after realizing that it did not work, I had to find another way. Only patience and understanding...Talk to your husband now, calmly and honestly. Is there is something you do that he does not like? For me I am not the jealous type at all so I tought it was normal for me to dance with anyone...however for him, it is unthinkable...I changed my behavior because I respect him and I know he does not like it. This is the same for chores around the house. If it is important to you that he helps, explain it to him...I know what you mean about the cooking for himself only...I dont think they realize it. My Dh does the same thing sometime... He only realize when my eyes are looking at him ready to kill him. In my family it is very selfish to wash the dishes or to cook for yourself only so it is definitaly a no no in my house, but it happens sometimes. You are right, this is how they were brough up. In mexico, women serve their husband first also. Imagine, there is no way I do that, my dh can get his own plate and serve himself....Honestly I am not sure if what I am telling you is helping or not..I am not very good with advice...hang around with people that are not macho latino so they show the examples they are cooking, cleaning... I also know how stressful it is to see all the family getting pregnant right away (I have 3 nieces, 1 nephew and 1 on the way from my sister in law), and they are all a lot younger than I am....I am always available to talk if you need at anytimes.... I really understand what you are going through...Dont worry, one thing at the time. Clear the issue with your dh, it is hard for people with no paper, everytime they take the car, they can get pulled over and be sent home...imagine the stress...I hope it works out for you. I am sending you all the PMA I have. Hang in there...
TOMORROW IS THE BIG DAY..... GOOD LUCK...Let us know the result....

[dodo928]

Katie : Hi! I hope you're doing ok! I heard about organic food from the news. They said organic food is only good if they are from local. If organic food is not from local, local non-organic food is as good. In other countries, there's no 'organic food' and they still have healthy babies delivered. It's not a big deal! Please do not worry! XOXO

[lou71]

Hi Girls,

Now I'm the one who's low on PMA. It's been fading all week . I'm just absolutely convinced that this cycle didn't work for me due to worse embryo quality than I had before and lack of any symptoms not attributable to PIO. I'm having cramping on and off, sore bb's, no visible CM at all, and constipation (TMI!). <sigh> If anyone finds my PMA please send it back. I've been looking at shared risk programs at other clinics and am bummed that I would qualify except for one thing... they ALL say that I'd have to finish all the cycles (6 of them) before my 38th birthday. Which is impossible since my 38th b-day is this November. I'm panicking because I fear we will run out of money before we have a baby. We have no insurance. I could afford the cycle, but the damn Follistim costs $5,000/cycle for me because I'm on the max dose. Maybe someone on the board will donate leftover Follistim to me if it comes to that. When do you stop trying? I'm sooo not a quiter. I see myself living in a cardboard box before I quit.

I'm also sad because Monday March 8th is the anniversary of my mothers death. I miss her sooooo much and now more than ever I need her around. I lost my dad in 1993 in an accident. Plus I'm an only child. So I really have no family except my Mom's parents who are both 84 years old. They mean a lot to me. No family at all on my dad's side. My husband and I married in 1995 and my mom got sick in 1997. It was a loooong illness. She died in 2002. After her death, it took me nearly 5 years to feel like myself again. So I was already 34 before I started to even think about having children. But somehow, I thought I had time. So waited another year because I wanted to plan a diving trip. We threw out the birth control when I was 35 and gave that a full year before seeking any help. I was tested and everything looked good. So we were puzzled. Sent DH for an analysis... and WHAM... there was our problem, crappy sperm. Still, it took me months to make the call to see an RE. So I was 36 1/2 before we decided on IVF. I waited too long. I don't stim well... max dose of Follistim and still only 4-5 mature eggs each time. I just feel like this is never going to work for me and I've made myself sooooo sad. I am dreading getting that call next Weds at work. I'm going to be so devastated. I'm going to try to take that day off or leave early at least.

Katie -- I'm sorry you saw some spotting. It's happened to so many before so as long as it's not a lot, try not to worry too much. I would inform your doctor though. I hope it stopped for you. As for organic. Well... I'm a pharmacist, so I understand what the antibiotics and hormones can do, but I don't go too far out of my way to buy it. I shop a lot at Trader Joe's because they have a good selection of Organic foods and their prices are pretty good. I only eat 4 oz of meat a day. I typically have organic oatmeal for breakfast. And for lunch, I make my own salads with fresh veggies and I eat a lot of cottage cheese with berries and fat free greek yogurt. I weigh and count my food (not obsessively... I've been doing this for 3 years and it's helped me shed the 20 lbs I gained since college). I work out with a trainer at least once a week (not during IVF) and on my own 5-6 times per week. Weight training is a big part of my life. So I consider myself healthy but I don't do ANYTHING to any extreme including seeking out an all organic diet. Impossible. Do whatever keeps you happy. As long as you aren't drinking and smoking and taking drugs... your baby will be born just fine.

Sarah -- Good luck tomorrow! I hope you get that BFP! We're on a roll this cycle with the last 5 girls getting BFP's... wouldn't it be great if it continued until the end? I'm sorry your DH doesn't help out more. I hope once you're a new mommy he changes his tune! I'm starting to realize how my DH spoils me rotten and I feel guilty. He cooks for me (we take turns), cleans litter pans, does dishes & laundry, takes out the trash, and gives me a massage almost every night. I don't have time to clean regularly, so I hired a lady to come every two weeks and do it. She does a great job and its totally worth it.

Lauren -- You're up on Saturday! See, I didn't POAS because after my last transfer, my RE told me that soooo often there's a negative HPT but a positive beta. I POAS the last two times and I felt like absolute crap to see the negative result. I figure, this way I can keep a smidgen of hope alive until the actual afternoon of my beta. I did anyway, because I had heard of false negatives, but it still made me feel crappy for the 3 days before my beta because of it. I'm not doing it this time. Good luck on Saturday. Keep the BFP's coming. This board isn't doing half bad.

Gi, Ronda, Positive -- How are you guys holding up?

Claudia -- When do you go back for a lining check? I hope things are looking good for you. No more delays!

Dodo -- Thanks for your thoughts. I'm happy for you that your donor cycle is coming up soon as well!

Well, I've wasted enough time at work typing this and now it's time to go home. I'm going to go back to praying for a BFP... for all of us.
Peace out.

[Hope644]

ok, what is up with all of our PMA going downhill. unacceptable. get back on the wagon, right now!! all of u!

i'm sorry i can't do personals tonight. i'm exhausted. too many hours at work today and 1 painfully long meeting (meetings should have a time limit of 1 hour MAX, after that, I'm toast). 3 hours is ridiculous. just shoot me.

just wanted to send a quick woo hoo to katie99 - seeing the heartbeat! and just relax and don't worry about the spotting. take it easy! you ARE pregnant... you can't keep going 90 miles a minute, dear and don't worry about jinxing yourself or going crazy over not being totally organic. there have been millions of babies born all over the world who have survived a non-organic maternial diet - and yours will be no different. yes, organic is nice - and ridiculously expensive, and not always feasible or convenient.

and i know we have two big betas coming up tomorrow (Sarah!) & Saturday (Lauren). I'm going to be out of town again (hopefully checking on the crackberry) but i don't know for sure. I'm sending you both all the baby dust I can muster!!! (can u feel it ) don't be tempted by the evil sticks (I know, who am i to talk, but seriously!) here to two lovely sets of positive betas!!! thinking of you!!

[jenice]

Lou - I read your post, I feel really bad for you. It must be stressful enough with the TWW plus the anniversary of your mom. Just think of us girls like the extended family, you never had If you ever need to talk you can pm me. I have a DD and it is worth it, sometimes we go through alot to get there. When I had a BFP didn't have many symptoms @ all, I found out @ 3 and half weeks. I was . This why I'm back for # 2 cause even though DD can drive me to my wits end, I couldn't imagine life without her. I read some article that said something like the majority of women doing fertility treatments will go on to have a child. Whether it is through IVF, adoption, or just getting preggo on their own. So, keep your chin up, miracles do happen I'm wishing baby dust your way !!!!!!

[sarita28]

Lou, if I could give you a hug, I would! You need a BIG hug! I can't imagine going through this without my mom. She doesn't understand everything, but at least I can call her and cry on the phone when I don't know who else to call. I know there aren't enough words to make this time easier for you. Just remember all the great times with your mother. All the laughs you shared, and (hopefully) all the stories she told you. My grandmother died in 1995, and I still miss her and cry wishing she was here to see how I turned out. Fortunately, she was a great storyteller, so I have all those great memories of her and her crazy stories. You can have my PMA after tomorrow. I won't need it once I get my BFP!

Oh, and I've looked into getting someone to clean the home ideally every two weeks or once a month. They're alot more than I can afford right now, and Ivin's not willing to chip in, so I'm stuck. Once I'm off these restrictions, it'll be better. First thing I'm going to do is sweep the floors and clean the kitchen! It's a mess!

[dodo928]

Hi Girls,

Now I'm the one who's low on PMA. It's been fading all week . I'm just absolutely convinced that this cycle didn't work for me due to worse embryo quality than I had before and lack of any symptoms not attributable to PIO. I'm having cramping on and off, sore bb's, no visible CM at all, and constipation (TMI!). <sigh> If anyone finds my PMA please send it back. I've been looking at shared risk programs at other clinics and am bummed that I would qualify except for one thing... they ALL say that I'd have to finish all the cycles (6 of them) before my 38th birthday. Which is impossible since my 38th b-day is this November. I'm panicking because I fear we will run out of money before we have a baby. We have no insurance. I could afford the cycle, but the damn Follistim costs $5,000/cycle for me because I'm on the max dose. Maybe someone on the board will donate leftover Follistim to me if it comes to that. When do you stop trying? I'm sooo not a quiter. I see myself living in a cardboard box before I quit.

I'm also sad because Monday March 8th is the anniversary of my mothers death. I miss her sooooo much and now more than ever I need her around. I lost my dad in 1993 in an accident. Plus I'm an only child. So I really have no family except my Mom's parents who are both 84 years old. They mean a lot to me. No family at all on my dad's side. My husband and I married in 1995 and my mom got sick in 1997. It was a loooong illness. She died in 2002. After her death, it took me nearly 5 years to feel like myself again. So I was already 34 before I started to even think about having children. But somehow, I thought I had time. So waited another year because I wanted to plan a diving trip. We threw out the birth control when I was 35 and gave that a full year before seeking any help. I was tested and everything looked good. So we were puzzled. Sent DH for an analysis... and WHAM... there was our problem, crappy sperm. Still, it took me months to make the call to see an RE. So I was 36 1/2 before we decided on IVF. I waited too long. I don't stim well... max dose of Follistim and still only 4-5 mature eggs each time. I just feel like this is never going to work for me and I've made myself sooooo sad. I am dreading getting that call next Weds at work. I'm going to be so devastated. I'm going to try to take that day off or leave early at least.

lou: I'm glad you have weaned your pain out. I hope by now your PMA is back. I also had the similar situation like you. My father's death was 3/1/2002 after 2 years of complication from Alzheima's Disease. I then gave up on IF. I took care of my mom because of her depression, involved in the church, and did everything for my mom, thinking that it's my fault because of my father's death, and didn't want to lose my mom. But taking care of a depressed person really had a lot of impact especially she was too old to learn drive or speak English. I became having depression too and I had to take her back to her country where she knows how to walk and talk and have my sisters and grandchildren to hang around. I also took 6 years before I had the strength to go back for IF. The only thing is too late and I'm too old to have my own eggs now. I just hope you know that your 2ww is not over yet. I hope you can keep wean out as much as you can until your PMA is back if not. Everyone is here for you! love you gal! take care of yourself first! It's pain to lose your parents but it's not your fault and you don't have any control on it. Everything's God's plan to make you feel stronger!

[Stephanieford78]

I am new, but part of this cycle. I was reading some of your stories and just wanted to comment that I seem to have a few things in common. Granted I am a newcomer and I haven't read all 133 pages. lol BUT, I have had failed attempts and Feb. 28 was the anniversary of my mother's death. I know how down it can bring a person. I just kept up with the PMA because I think it has a lot of power. I kept the mindset that I was already pregnant. Afterall, they say it's best to believe it into existance! Even still, I too didn't have much to keep me that way with two previously failed. I finally got my BFP though. I wore my mom's wedding ring to the transfer and as well as an angel pin that was hers. I didn't do that the other two times. I like to think that I somehow channeled her and she helped protect my baby. I wish all of you who have yet to get your results the best of luck!! Reading your words, makes me feel close to all you strangers. lol FINALLY, a place where there are people that know what I have gone through! I should have joined sooner! Again... GL, I see some of you have BETA coming as soon as tomorrow!

This is my story. (Not sure how you leave your little footnotes yet so I hope this will do)

Me - 31
DH - 25
male factor and irreversable tubal (long story there)
June/July 2009 - rescue ICSI 1 embryo made it to D5, LAH BFN
Oct/Nov 2009 - ICSI 15 eggs, 1 immature, 1 chromizonally abnormal, 13 fertilized, 2D5, 2 transfered, BFN
8 frozen blasts
Jan/Feb 2010- cryo, 3 frozen embies thawed, LAH, 1 expanding hatching blast, 2 blasts, 3 transfered, BFP 3/2

I think I need to learn more shorts. lol