Keep in touch August buddies!

Discussion group for all topics related to infertility including preparation for pregnancy, causes, investigation and treatment of infertility.
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Mia
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Posts: 211
Joined: Tue Jul 27, 2004 4:26 pm
Location: USA

Post by Mia »

It is nice to know that no matter how neurotic and pessimistic you are there is someone on this board that will point you in the right direction.

Well, hubby came home and I got about two words out of my mouth before he blew up. "IVF this and embryo that...I am sick of it!" he yelled.
Well, okay I can't talk to him.

I actually feel better after my last post. Sometimes I just need to get things off my chest. Whenever, I talk to DH he always thinks I am looking for answers...not true.

Alicia, when I do the FET I plan to use all of the PMA, and visualization techniques. I have read ALOT about the negative effects of stress, so I plan to stay super positive and stress-free during my next cycle. I am also betting on the posibility of the fact that a natural cycle might be better for me because there will be little manipulation of my hormones.

Even though my last post sounded totally negative I have not really given up hope...just having a bad day.

If I remember correctly I did win a pair of 'old school' nikes once in a raffle. Not exactly the lottery but I guess it is something.
Mia
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jaye
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Posts: 139
Joined: Sat Apr 03, 2004 8:56 am
Location: Canberra

Post by jaye »

Hi everyone,
I would love to say I've kept up the PMA during tmts... but I never do. I had a course of hypnotherapy once, learned all the creative visualisation techniques, relaxation and stuff like that... helped me with my issues with my mother, but not being one myself! To be fair, though, I tried it for one month REALLY hard (not one of the IVF tries) and it didn't work - I was so convinced it would that when it didn't I gave up in disgust. I guess that was a bit unfair, I probably needed to show a BIT of dedication...
Alicia - which bit of India have you spent time in? I've travelled there a bit too and lived in Calcutta for a while - seems like a life-time ago...
Sandra, sorry I don't know much about FET, we've never had any to freeze :( but I'm glad you've got good news and feel +ve about it - despite my rant, I'm sure it can't hurt :D good luck.
Thinking of you all,
Jaye.
me 34, dh 36
TTC 3 yrs, lap oct 02, 'unexplained'
3 x IUIs 2003, all -ve
IVF 4/04 & 8/04, both early m/c. 11/04 -ve
So much in life to be grateful for.
Sand
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Posts: 3364
Joined: Sun Mar 14, 2004 11:35 am
Location: Lancs, England

Post by Sand »

Hi Girls ..

Wendy .. How are you doing ? .... Thanks for your thoughts - DP is doing okay (considering) .. he's pottering around on his crutches, but he can't actually stand without them (as he can't put any weight on his left leg) so he's not really up to much. He's waiting for 1 Dec before he's weight bearing, then, I don't know, maybe a few weeks before he's fully active again ? I'm counting on him being much better by 1 Jan, at the point I've got a lot on at work, then we want a holiday in probably Feb .... so we're thinking of March for FET. It seems an age away ! ... but I think the rest will do us both good. To be honest, I don't feel up to it anyway at the moment. The March 04 and Aug 04 cycle have really taken it out of me.... or something has !

I'm glad to see that Dec 04 is still on for you, pending AF. That's something for you to really focus on, as it's not too far away at all. I hope you're +ve, because this time is the time Wendy. PMA. You'll just about have got your BFP as I'm starting my cycle :)

I'm so glad you've confirmed what the hospital said - about the tricky bit being the frozen embryos surviving the thaw - I really thought that even after that there was a reduced success rate. So, I'm pleased about that - at least at the time of ET (if you get that far), there's then the same success rate. My hospital did say that they defrost them 2 at a time. So, if only one survives, they only put one back - as, if they thawed another, it would be too far behind. If none survive, you have to wait until the following month and try again (in my case, as I have 7 frosties).

Mia ... Mia, Mia ..... We all have days when we feel like this, and this happens ... pls don't fret. I'm glad you're feeling a bit more +ve today. I sometimes am the same ... going on to dp about all sorts .... but I sometimes see that he actually gets more upset than me....he can't answer my questions, but because it's a male factor issue, he feels it's all his fault.... Then I have to shut up, because I'm only making both of us more miserable. I'm scared too Mia. I think a lot of us are, so you're not alone. I understand that these boards are the only place we can vent our feelings. Please don't give up HOPE. There's always next time .. :D

Jaye ...Hiya Jaye, I've never tried hypnotherapy, nor acupuncture, or anything else like that .... Last cycle I did make sure I ate tons of protein, and we both took supplements. We didn't get any frosties on cycle 1, but did on cycle 2 - and I'm sure the diet/supplements helped. Dp was talking the other night though about acupuncture, so I think I might give it a go. Anything to de-stress a little can't be bad :) What are your plans ?

Sandra x
Me 41 yrs old - dh 49 yrs old. ttc 110 yrs.
1st cycle (ICSI)....Mar 04 -ve.
2nd cycle (ICSI)....Aug 04 -ve.
3rd cycle FET........May 05 -ve.
4th cycle (ICSI) ... Feb 06 -ve
5th cycle FET ..... Feb/Mar 11
Paige
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Joined: Wed Jul 14, 2004 3:51 pm

Post by Paige »

HI August Buddies:

It's been a little quiet, so I thought I'd try to check in and see how everyone is doing. I hope that everyone is coping well with as positive attitudes as possible when having to go through this crazy process.

Are any of the Aug buddies stimming or going through 2WW?

Wishing everybody luck with whatever path they are traveling right now.

Paige
AMITHIS
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Posts: 539
Joined: Tue Mar 30, 2004 3:16 pm
Location: Florida USA

Post by AMITHIS »

Hi everyone,

It has been quiet on here! I haven't logged in for about a week and thought I'd have a lot of reading to do.

Mia,

Your post could have easily been written by me on one of my bad days! I'm having all of the same feelings and can't help but dwell on the whole thing. My DH has also lost patience with listening to me talk about it so I try my best not to let anything slip out but it isn't easy considering it is constantly on my mind. Ironically enough, I'm worrying about "what if it does work?" almost as much as I am worrying about "what if it doesn't?". At this point, I'm wondering if I'll still be sane by the time Jan. rolls around.

Sand,

March will be here before you know it. Back in August, when I found out I'd be trying in Jan. it seemed like a lifetime away. Now, it is almost the end of Oct. and time has really flown by. I'm sure the time off will do you good.

Paige,

Is your cold any better? I think I read somewhere else that you haven't been feeling well. I've also had one - nothing major but very annoying!

Jaye,

I'm not so good with the PMA either. I tend to always imagine the worst case scenario figuring I'll be prepared when things don't work out and, if by some small chance I get lucky, then I'll be pleasantly surprised. I just had so many cases of getting my hopes up for things when I was young then having them completely dashed that it's really hard for me to be optimistic.

Alicia,

Did I read somewhere that you are going to Maui? I think that is the most beautiful place I've ever been to. When I was in college, I won a vacation there and stayed at the Grand Wailea Resort and Spa. It was amazing! Unfortunately, since I was a poor college student at the time, I had hardly any spending money for the trip which put a bit of a damper on things. As you know, everything there is very expensive. At any rate, I hope to go back at some point with DH. It's one of the few places I've been that he hasn't.

Anyway, off to cook dinner. Hope everyone is doing well!

Staci
Me 35/DH 41
TTC 4 years
Diagnosis: MF infertility
IVF/ICSI April 2004: -tive
FET Aug. 2004 (canceled due to cysts)
FET Jan 2005: -tive
FET Aug. 2005
jaye
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Posts: 139
Joined: Sat Apr 03, 2004 8:56 am
Location: Canberra

Post by jaye »

Hey everyone!

I thought it was just me being slack, but obviously you've all been keeping busy with other stuff too.
Have parents-in-law here for four days, which is lovely, and work's been flat out so no time to think about anything much other than that.
There were two articles in our local papers here about overseas adoption on Tuesday, I'm wondering if it's a sign...

Still waiting for AF - if it shows up in the next few days I think I can do a cycle before Xmas - otherwise will have to wait. I'd like to do one more quickly (not that they seem quick....) because I hate all the waiting.

Not much else going on, starting to think about Xmas - saw Xmas decorations in the shops for the first time here last week! Can you believe it?

Hope all is well with everyone,

Jaye
me 34, dh 36
TTC 3 yrs, lap oct 02, 'unexplained'
3 x IUIs 2003, all -ve
IVF 4/04 & 8/04, both early m/c. 11/04 -ve
So much in life to be grateful for.
AMITHIS
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Posts: 539
Joined: Tue Mar 30, 2004 3:16 pm
Location: Florida USA

Post by AMITHIS »

Hi all,

I'm about ready to have a breakdown here and really need some support from the only people who could possibly understand exactly how I'm feeling right now.

DH's younger brother called tonight to tell DH his wife was pregnant (he had left a message for my husband to call him back yesterday and, I don't know why, but I had this strange premonition that was what is was about because he rarely calls). At any rate, I figured I was just being silly but it turns out I was actually right. A little background: He has 2 brothers; one younger and one older. Both of them got married this past year whereas DH and I got married in 2000. His older brother's wife is older than me and has gotten pregnant once already but miscarried. His younger brother's wife is considerably younger than me (guessing late twenties) so I knew it would probably happen at some point soon. And, of course, there is me who has never been pregnant and, I'm guessing, probably never will be at this point.

At any rate, even though I kind of expected it, it still really hurts. To make matters worse, DH's parents and his younger brother and now pregnant wife are coming here for Thanksgiving (which happens to be my 35th birthday). Joy. Honestly, I don't know how I'm going to find the strengh to deal with this. I don't want to feel spiteful but it is so hard not to.

Help ? :(

Sorry to dwell on myself here. I hope you are all doing ok.

Staci
Me 35/DH 41
TTC 4 years
Diagnosis: MF infertility
IVF/ICSI April 2004: -tive
FET Aug. 2004 (canceled due to cysts)
FET Jan 2005: -tive
FET Aug. 2005
Jools
Member
Posts: 94
Joined: Thu Aug 19, 2004 3:10 pm
Location: Milton Keynes

Post by Jools »

Hi Staci

I know exactly how you feel. It's so unfair sometimes. When I was still TTC even though we'd been told there was no hope, but before we tried IVF one of my brother in law's got his girlfriend pregnant 'by accident' and the psychotic cow went along with it, went for the scan with him, and then decided to have an abortion. Words can not describe what I could have done to her. Then my other brother in law got his girlfriend pregnant when he didn't want to, but he 'couldn't be bothered to put a condom on one night'. That made my blood boil over too with the unfairness of it. One of my sister in laws got married 5 years after us (we're coming up for 10 years now), and has had one accidental pregnancy and two planned where she fell on the first attempt. I sometimes think we've done something really bad in a previous life or something and we're now being punished. Life is SOOOOOOOO cruel sometimes. You feel like everyone is deliberately rubbing your nose in it, when they're not really. I always have to rage about it to DH and try to get it out of my system before I see them for the first time. If I were you, try to see them for a quick visit before Thanksgiving/your birthday. It's always the first time you see them that's the worst. If you can manage a quick visit, at least you won't have to sit and fume/rage/be upset for the rest of the day whilst they're still there. Hope it goes OK.

Love Jools xx
Me 31 (dodgy ovulation)
DH 39 (dodgy swimmers)
TTC 9 Years, 12 months on Clomid 6 yrs ago
1st IVF/ICSI Sept 04 +ve, m/c at 5 1/2 weeks
Couldn't face the pain again.....
AMITHIS
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Posts: 539
Joined: Tue Mar 30, 2004 3:16 pm
Location: Florida USA

Post by AMITHIS »

Jools,

Thanks so much. It helps to know others are dealing with these same situations and feelings. That is a really good idea to see them prior to Thanksgiving but, unfortunately, they live too far away for that to be possible. Actually, the reason everyone decided to congregate where DH and I live is because his brother and SIL will be going to a wedding only about 2 hours away from us the night prior and his parents will be at their house in FL which is about 2 hours away from us in the other direction. Where we live is kind of in the middle for everyone.

Anyway, one good thing happened...

The following morning after we got the news, DH told me he sent his mother an e-mail telling her we would not be joining all of them for Thanksgiving/my birthday and that we were making other plans. I was very surprised (and relieved) that he did this. He does understand how difficult it would be for me and I think he is actually disturbed by it himself. He did make the point that we can't just avoid them for the rest of our lives and that, at some point, we have to be considerate of their feelings as well. I do understand that but I'm just not ready to deal with it....esp. not on my 35th birthday, which is already going to be a bit of thorn in my side. At any rate, he hasn't heard back from his mother yet but I'm just hoping she won't try (and succeed) in convincing him otherwise.

One bad thing is that now DH is really pushing on our trying harder and he said he doesn't think we've done everything in our power so this is partially our fault (huh??). Personally, I think we've gone above and beyond what people should have to do in order to get pregnant. He started asking why I was waiting so long to do the FET .... even though I had already explained the situation to him. I would gladly do it a little sooner if it was possible. At this point, the waiting to do it and thinking about it so much is getting to be more stressful than actually doing it!

Jaye,

That is surprising they already have x-mas decorations in the shops there. I don't think they do here....or maybe they do and I just haven't noticed. DH is Jewish and, prior to getting married, I converted (was Roman Catholic) so we don't really do anything for x-mas ... unless we visit my family in which case we join in with them but we haven't for the last few years.

I guess I should get moving. I'm dragging DH to a craft festival with me today. It's in a quaint little town on the water and it's supposed to be a gorgeous day out so I figured it would be something nice to do outside. Of course, I think he would probably prefer staying home and watching football but he is being a good sport about it.

I hope everyone is having a great weekend.

Staci
Me 35/DH 41
TTC 4 years
Diagnosis: MF infertility
IVF/ICSI April 2004: -tive
FET Aug. 2004 (canceled due to cysts)
FET Jan 2005: -tive
FET Aug. 2005
wendy30
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Posts: 322
Joined: Tue Nov 04, 2003 2:07 pm
Location: Scotland

Post by wendy30 »

Hi Ladies

Sorry I've not been on in a while but have been studying hard. I had my exam for my Open University course on Thursday, I think it went ok but who knows, I won't get the result till Christmas. I've been really stressed which is a wee bit unusual for me, I never normally worry about exams and things but I think everything has just mounted up over the last wee bit, not suprising really I suppose.

Staci, I've been looking at your posts - neither of us has brothers or sisters so will never be in your situation but I can understand how this is difficult, luckily since my last treatment I haven't had to deal with any new pregnancies, births etc but my Dh seems to be going through it at his works, there seems to have been a spate of scan pictures, births, I think he finds it hard, its only natural.

I picked up you saying that you were worrying about what if it did work, I can identify with that, when I got my positive result last time I was terrified, I found myself being ecstatic that it had worked but at the same time worrying about everything, money, work, what I'd be like as a mother, I even lay awake one night worrying about worrying. I think once you go down this route you no longer have a plan for what you will do after a baby is born you are too busy thinking will it ever happen. I know my slight panic had nothing to do with losing the baby but for a while I thought it might have.

Alicia, Paige - hope you 2 are doing great, looking after your bumps and looking forward to your holidays.

Jaye, how are you? Has your AF disapeared as well? I had one about a week after the m/c and nothing else since, thats coming up for 8 weeks, not that I'm complaining but I don't want it to impact on my December FET.

Sand, how are you? March will be here in no time. Where are you going to go for your holiday in February.

Mia, Hope your ok, my dh has spells like that, 'I've had enough of your website, baby chat, diet, hypnotherapy nonsense etc'. They just focus on practicalities more than we do. Its normal for us to want to analyse and talk about every detail.

Jools, how is things with you?

Speak to you all later

Wendy
TTC 7yrs, Me 35 (severe endo) DH 36
IVF nov06 8th time lucky BFP! - 1 baby boy
FET Aug o8 - BFN
[img]http://tickers.TickerFactory.com/ezt/d/2;51;28/st/20070804/n/Joe/dt/6/k/5ec9/age.png[/img]
Paige
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Post by Paige »

HI Ladies:

Staci: Your dh sounds like a keeper. Pretty amazing that he cancelled the plans knowing that it would be very emotional for you to go through. Cheers to Staci's DH. January will be here before you know it for your FET. My friend who got +tive on her 5th IVF said that the FET was soooo much better than a full cycle. You're lucky you had some good quality to freeze! My Dr. said that none of my leftovers were good enough quality to freeze, so I was bummed. Atleast your hurricane season is coming to an end. For awhile it didn't look like it was going to stop!

Wendy: December FET. hmmm Christmas +tive sounds pretty good huh? How many do they put back? Fingers and toes are crossed for you.

How is everyone else doing? Time is going to fly until the end of the year for us...there is so much going on. I don't know if you guys keep up with anyone on the other side, but I mentioned trying on maternity swim suits and was crying the dressing room. :oops: Talk about body image problems. I now have a new attitude about it. I don't care what anybody thinks....I'm going to wear my biggerness (is that a word?) in Aruba happily and enjoy myself.

Wishing everyone the best.

Paige
Mia
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Joined: Tue Jul 27, 2004 4:26 pm
Location: USA

Post by Mia »

Hello everyone,
Well it is obvious that even though most of us have been busying ourselves with other things we have all still been lurking around this site.

Staci, I am glad your DH is trying to make other plans. I hope he will be able to prevail. I think I remeber you saying that your MIL was a bit overbearing or insensitive or was it both?
Other people's pregancies are always hard, but I suspect when it is in the family it makes it even harder to deal with your conflicting emotions. I am sure both you and DH are happy for the couple but a bit sad that it comes so easy for some and so hard for others.
On top at that just thinking about entertaining in-laws over Thanksgiving stresses me out. My in-laws were here at the begining of October and even though I love them to death for making such a wonderful son I could not wait for them to leave. I always feel my MIL is judging me.
My MIL is however very supportive of everything having to do with infertility, so I guess I am very lucky there.
I am also getting ready to have a birthday. I am almost exactly one year younger than you. my 34th birthday is becoming the hardest birthday ever. I think turning 34 is worse than turning 30. I am sure the reason is all the damn statistics I have read over the past year. I know you have read all the some stats. On the birthday front all I can say is I know were you are coming from.


AF showed up this moring so about 26 days and I can go to the doctor to make a game plan for January. Pretty scary!
I hope everyone is doing well!
Mia
Jools
Member
Posts: 94
Joined: Thu Aug 19, 2004 3:10 pm
Location: Milton Keynes

Post by Jools »

Hi Staci

That's a relief for you. At least you can deal with one thing at a time instead of all at once. Bless your DH for thinking of you and doing the right thing(and without asking first :lol: ).

Hi Wendy

Thank you for asking. I'm not doing too bad. It's now just over 2 weeks since I miscarried, and I'm coping a bit better now. I'm still not sleeping without the pills my Dr prescribed but I've got another week and a half before I go back to work (Dr signed me off). My boss came to see me Friday with a huge bouquet of flowers from the girls in the office. I'd initially told her to not tell anyone and just say I had a virus, but I realised that it'll be easier to face everyone when I got back if I know I don't have to lie when they ask what's been wrong, as they inevitably would. Apparently the girl in our office who is 7 months pregnant was really upset about it, and feels really bad for me. She's such a sweetheart and it will be really hard seeing that pregnant bump every day when I go back, but hopefully I can have a chat with her and get any awkwardness out of the way. Good luck with your December FET!

Hi Mia

Are you feeling more positive about the FET in Jan now? If I remember right, you had a bit of a 'wobble', but I hope you're doing OK now.

Hi Paige / Alicia

Enjoy your 'biggerness' and wear your bumps with pride! :lol:


Take care everyone else who I've forgotten to mention!

Love Jools xx
Me 31 (dodgy ovulation)
DH 39 (dodgy swimmers)
TTC 9 Years, 12 months on Clomid 6 yrs ago
1st IVF/ICSI Sept 04 +ve, m/c at 5 1/2 weeks
Couldn't face the pain again.....
Paige
Regular
Posts: 344
Joined: Wed Jul 14, 2004 3:51 pm

Post by Paige »

Jools:

Are you planning on another go? I know that your experience this first round was very painful emotionally and was wondering what your thought process was regarding continuing with IVF. It was your first try right? It is good that your body accepted a pregnancy, so all of those known issues are not your issues with implantation rejection etc.
I know it's so hard to see other people get pregnant so easily, what an emotional rollercoaster we're all on.
I had a friend going through chemo while I was going through IVF, and it really made me stop and think about how lucky I am, rather than curse everyone else who was able to get pregnant naturally....or without even trying. I know my friend said she would not wish her worst enemy to go through her whole cancer/radiation/chemo, so I tried to take the same attitude...as I'd never wish anyone to have to go through the whole IVF process, and try to be happy for people who do not have to do it.
Believe me when I say there were times when I was cursing my husband and myself, but I tried to keep the rest of the world separated from our problems, as I don't think it's healthy to keep all of the turmoil brewing.

I wish you sucess with whatever you try.

Paige
wendy30
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Posts: 322
Joined: Tue Nov 04, 2003 2:07 pm
Location: Scotland

Post by wendy30 »

Hello again

Paige - I think its great that you want to show your bump, wear it with pride you did work hard to get there after all. Its nice that you are keeping an eye on us, I've found it really helps watching your progress, it makes it easier for the rest of us to visualize the next stage.

Jools - I had a bit of time off work as well after I miscarried, all my work knew, my boss told them before I went back and it did save people asking what had been wrong and it helped if you were struggling that there was someone to talk to. The girl I sit next to told me she had 6 miscarriages before having her children, she had no problems getting pregnant just keeping them in there. Just take your time, there are days I still feel a bit fragile, but thats ok! I keep trying to focus on the fact I did get pregnant and I can again, you too. There is a girl at my work who gave birth just before I had my treatment, shes on maternity leave, I went round to see her last week, played with baby etc and I was really worried I'd fall apart but I was ok and was glad I'd gone to see her.

Mia, 34s not old, I was thinking about age the other day. My Mum was 41 when I was born and I'm an only child, I always thought that was old when I was little but not now, she tried for years to get pregnant. I'll be 32 next year. January will be here in no time, and frozen is so much easier than the full thing. Keep away from the statistics :) !

Speak to you all soon

Wendy
TTC 7yrs, Me 35 (severe endo) DH 36
IVF nov06 8th time lucky BFP! - 1 baby boy
FET Aug o8 - BFN
[img]http://tickers.TickerFactory.com/ezt/d/2;51;28/st/20070804/n/Joe/dt/6/k/5ec9/age.png[/img]
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