Hi girls, Dh and i had an appointment at hospital yesterday to enquire about funding but there is none at the moment. We have funded three now but none have worked. Because we have funded three ourselves that could also go against us having had three failures as if the nhs does become possible in our area they may only favour people who have had less goes. I am poor responder and eggs have not fertilised..... I have also blocked tubes, one on right completely and one on left partially but damaged at ends. It was suggested to us yesterday that i have both tubes removed, i had been asked a few years ago, but said no and opted for laser surgery instead to clear the tubes, but still no pregnancy. I just feel that this is the last for me, even though they are no good, it is still part of me. The tubes apparantly when damaged can contain fluid which is toxic potentially to a pregnancy, so even if i had donor egg i could possibly still be jeopardising the implantation.
Dh had to go back to work, i went into the city, went to a well known coffee bar and had a seasonal gingerbread latte and sat down..... I thought i was going to break down there and then. All this makes you feel so isolated, god i feel so desperate at times. The thought of another operation.... soz for the emotion but it was not a good day. Jjj x
An all time low
Hi Jjj
I'm sorry to read you post and, I realy feel how low you're feeling today. We really do all have moments like this.
In my case, it's all (as far as I know, anyway) male factor, so I haven't had any experience of blocked tubes etc ... I'm sure you'll get lots of thoughts from girls who have had.
Re the NHS from next year ... I thought the plan was that all health authorities would fully funde one NHS cycle from April 05 ? Why do you think that having funded 3 -ve cycles yourself, this will go against you ? Have you been told this ?
This simply seems to go against the grain. Saying that, in my health authority I was told that they would fund a number of cycles, but if I paid for one myself whilst I as on the waiting list, the number of funded cycles would reduce. Totally unfair.
I feel really feel for you, but don't feel alone. We're all here to talk to
Sandra x
I'm sorry to read you post and, I realy feel how low you're feeling today. We really do all have moments like this.
In my case, it's all (as far as I know, anyway) male factor, so I haven't had any experience of blocked tubes etc ... I'm sure you'll get lots of thoughts from girls who have had.
Re the NHS from next year ... I thought the plan was that all health authorities would fully funde one NHS cycle from April 05 ? Why do you think that having funded 3 -ve cycles yourself, this will go against you ? Have you been told this ?
This simply seems to go against the grain. Saying that, in my health authority I was told that they would fund a number of cycles, but if I paid for one myself whilst I as on the waiting list, the number of funded cycles would reduce. Totally unfair.
I feel really feel for you, but don't feel alone. We're all here to talk to
Sandra x
Me 41 yrs old - dh 49 yrs old. ttc 110 yrs.
1st cycle (ICSI)....Mar 04 -ve.
2nd cycle (ICSI)....Aug 04 -ve.
3rd cycle FET........May 05 -ve.
4th cycle (ICSI) ... Feb 06 -ve
5th cycle FET ..... Feb/Mar 11
1st cycle (ICSI)....Mar 04 -ve.
2nd cycle (ICSI)....Aug 04 -ve.
3rd cycle FET........May 05 -ve.
4th cycle (ICSI) ... Feb 06 -ve
5th cycle FET ..... Feb/Mar 11
Hi Sandra,
I was told that because I had already paid for three cycles which were unsuccessful that it could possibly go against me. If i had had two then poss the nhs would fund the third next year. It seems unfair if thats what they decide as the third cycle we had was natural ivf anyway.
I believe that if a couple have infertility the fact that they fund themselves by whatever means should not go against them in the future...
that is madness, we all pay the same stamp..... I cannot understand the goverment. Thanks for replying, Jjj x
I was told that because I had already paid for three cycles which were unsuccessful that it could possibly go against me. If i had had two then poss the nhs would fund the third next year. It seems unfair if thats what they decide as the third cycle we had was natural ivf anyway.
I believe that if a couple have infertility the fact that they fund themselves by whatever means should not go against them in the future...
that is madness, we all pay the same stamp..... I cannot understand the goverment. Thanks for replying, Jjj x Jjj
Hi Jjj,
Just saw your post and I'm so sorry you're having to go through this. I live in the U.S. so don't have to deal with NHS. I'd say in the majority of cases IVF isn't covered here at all under individual insurance plans. It is state mandated in a few states and a few companies actually include it in their insurance benefits (unforunately, not my DH's!)
At any rate, I can certainly see where you would be frustrated. It definitely does not seem fair that you should get penalized by NHS just because you've paid for several attempts out of your own pocket which didn't work. I mean you are paying the same taxes as everyone else and should be entitled to the same services! Besides, this whole thing is such a lottery that I would think your chances on a next attempt might be just as good as someone with less serious issues having a first attempt. Our issue is male factor and everything went well in our first attempt but no success. One never knows. It seems like many women have actually gotten +ives on a fourth or fifth attempt even with some pretty serious obstacles to confront. I don't understand how they can have such criteria in place. I thought that everyone there was entitled to the same number of funded attempts no matter what? Why should it matter that you paid for some on your own? It seems irrelevant. I guess I don't understand how your system works.
Anyway, as far as feeling alone and isolated with these problems, I think most of us can identify with that issue.
Try to keep your spirits up. I know it can be hard.
Staci
Just saw your post and I'm so sorry you're having to go through this. I live in the U.S. so don't have to deal with NHS. I'd say in the majority of cases IVF isn't covered here at all under individual insurance plans. It is state mandated in a few states and a few companies actually include it in their insurance benefits (unforunately, not my DH's!)
At any rate, I can certainly see where you would be frustrated. It definitely does not seem fair that you should get penalized by NHS just because you've paid for several attempts out of your own pocket which didn't work. I mean you are paying the same taxes as everyone else and should be entitled to the same services! Besides, this whole thing is such a lottery that I would think your chances on a next attempt might be just as good as someone with less serious issues having a first attempt. Our issue is male factor and everything went well in our first attempt but no success. One never knows. It seems like many women have actually gotten +ives on a fourth or fifth attempt even with some pretty serious obstacles to confront. I don't understand how they can have such criteria in place. I thought that everyone there was entitled to the same number of funded attempts no matter what? Why should it matter that you paid for some on your own? It seems irrelevant. I guess I don't understand how your system works.
Anyway, as far as feeling alone and isolated with these problems, I think most of us can identify with that issue.
Try to keep your spirits up. I know it can be hard.
Staci
Me 35/DH 41
TTC 4 years
Diagnosis: MF infertility
IVF/ICSI April 2004: -tive
FET Aug. 2004 (canceled due to cysts)
FET Jan 2005: -tive
FET Aug. 2005
TTC 4 years
Diagnosis: MF infertility
IVF/ICSI April 2004: -tive
FET Aug. 2004 (canceled due to cysts)
FET Jan 2005: -tive
FET Aug. 2005
Hi Jjj,
How are you? I saw your post and thought I'd drop you a note.
I don't know if you have the same problem as me, but I have had problems with my tubes for the last couple of years, and after having tests done to find out the cause, it was discovered that they were absolutely crap and not even remotely useful. I too was told about having them removed, but I wasn't really given much information from my hospital.
I did most of my own research over the internet, but I found out that due to my tubal problems and polycistic ovaries, It was nearly 100% definite that I would have to undergo IVF treatment in one form or another. I found out that if you did have any tubal fluid of any kind, there is a big chance that any fertilized eggs wont attach, or develope properly.
I found it really hard to take it all in, and I haven't even been offered any forms of councelling or anything. I have been driving my dp well mad with my moods and I just feel like I've lost a part of myself that made me me...
I took the decision to have both of my tubes removed.
It was quite hard at first, but the more I thought about it I figured that they were both totally useless and making me more ill and contributing negatively to my mental state. I went on the waiting list at my local hospital, and after 9 months of waiting I went and had them done...
That was 8 weeks ago and I am still recovering. I went back to work early because of financial commitments, but I am considering taking further time out to make myself 100% again.
Even though I do feel a bit crap, I know that with out them, they can't affect my health and make me any worse... which can only be a good thing... right?... I am waiting for my partner to have a few tests done, and we are hoping to start our first cycle of ivf next year... I'm hoping that the law changes first, as we cant afford the treatment at the moment and can't get no funding either...
I didn't intend this too go on for long or to drag on... but al I really wanted to say was, I can't imagine how it must be for you... I'm dreading starting the first treatment, never mind having any failures.... I don't think that I would be able to cope with that, the way I've been feeling lately. 
I know that you feel that you're tubes are part of you - I thought the same, but I do feel that the deciding factor for me was the increased chance of a pregnancy or the continued pain, discomfort, and potential failure of treatment... the thought of a failure is for me far outweighing of keeping a spare part that no longer benefits me....
At the end of the day, the choice is obviously your's to make, but I hope I helped a little in helping you make up your mind.
Take Care, and hope all goes well for you.
Nes*
X
How are you? I saw your post and thought I'd drop you a note.
I don't know if you have the same problem as me, but I have had problems with my tubes for the last couple of years, and after having tests done to find out the cause, it was discovered that they were absolutely crap and not even remotely useful. I too was told about having them removed, but I wasn't really given much information from my hospital.
I did most of my own research over the internet, but I found out that due to my tubal problems and polycistic ovaries, It was nearly 100% definite that I would have to undergo IVF treatment in one form or another. I found out that if you did have any tubal fluid of any kind, there is a big chance that any fertilized eggs wont attach, or develope properly.
I found it really hard to take it all in, and I haven't even been offered any forms of councelling or anything. I have been driving my dp well mad with my moods and I just feel like I've lost a part of myself that made me me...
I took the decision to have both of my tubes removed.
It was quite hard at first, but the more I thought about it I figured that they were both totally useless and making me more ill and contributing negatively to my mental state. I went on the waiting list at my local hospital, and after 9 months of waiting I went and had them done...
That was 8 weeks ago and I am still recovering. I went back to work early because of financial commitments, but I am considering taking further time out to make myself 100% again.
Even though I do feel a bit crap, I know that with out them, they can't affect my health and make me any worse... which can only be a good thing... right?... I am waiting for my partner to have a few tests done, and we are hoping to start our first cycle of ivf next year... I'm hoping that the law changes first, as we cant afford the treatment at the moment and can't get no funding either...
I didn't intend this too go on for long or to drag on... but al I really wanted to say was, I can't imagine how it must be for you... I'm dreading starting the first treatment, never mind having any failures.... I don't think that I would be able to cope with that, the way I've been feeling lately.
I know that you feel that you're tubes are part of you - I thought the same, but I do feel that the deciding factor for me was the increased chance of a pregnancy or the continued pain, discomfort, and potential failure of treatment... the thought of a failure is for me far outweighing of keeping a spare part that no longer benefits me....
At the end of the day, the choice is obviously your's to make, but I hope I helped a little in helping you make up your mind.
Take Care, and hope all goes well for you.
Nes*
X
Nes X
Mum to Twins Jess & Kai, born 1.06.06
[img]http://tickers.TickerFactory.com/ezt/d/2;10719;34/st/20060601/n/Jessenia+and+Maqkai/dt/-18/k/286d/age.png[/img]
Mum to Twins Jess & Kai, born 1.06.06
[img]http://tickers.TickerFactory.com/ezt/d/2;10719;34/st/20060601/n/Jessenia+and+Maqkai/dt/-18/k/286d/age.png[/img]
Jjj,
Having failed cycles is the worst. Expecially when you pay for it yourself. I remember after our miscarriage, just when I was starting to feel human again, the bill pouring in.
I did have both tube removed. They said it might give a better chance of IVF working. After 2 years TTC, I knew the tubes were bad and I'd never stand a chance of conceiving naturally, so I agreed. It is very expensive - about the cost of 2 full IVF cycles. So if you decide to do it, you must try to get it covered by NHS. Here in the US, I was very lucky that DH's insurance covered most of it.
I was relieved actually, to know I would never get PG except through IVF after the operation. I did feel less a woman at first, but I think that passed pretty quickly. I was relieved because I would not have to go through the disappointment of AF coming every month after hoping that this time it may have worked.
Our first IVF was a miscarriage at 6 weeks, but we had some frosties. I am now PG with twins - 16 weeks. So I do believe my clinic was correct in recommending that I have the tubes removed, because really 2 tries is pretty good. Good luck to you, whatever you decide.
Alicia
Having failed cycles is the worst. Expecially when you pay for it yourself. I remember after our miscarriage, just when I was starting to feel human again, the bill pouring in.
I did have both tube removed. They said it might give a better chance of IVF working. After 2 years TTC, I knew the tubes were bad and I'd never stand a chance of conceiving naturally, so I agreed. It is very expensive - about the cost of 2 full IVF cycles. So if you decide to do it, you must try to get it covered by NHS. Here in the US, I was very lucky that DH's insurance covered most of it.
I was relieved actually, to know I would never get PG except through IVF after the operation. I did feel less a woman at first, but I think that passed pretty quickly. I was relieved because I would not have to go through the disappointment of AF coming every month after hoping that this time it may have worked.
Our first IVF was a miscarriage at 6 weeks, but we had some frosties. I am now PG with twins - 16 weeks. So I do believe my clinic was correct in recommending that I have the tubes removed, because really 2 tries is pretty good. Good luck to you, whatever you decide.
Alicia
TTC 2.5 years - Me 38 no tubes; DH 32
1st- IVF June 2004 - early MC
2nd - FET Aug 2004 - Twin boys born April 25, 2005!!!
1st- IVF June 2004 - early MC
2nd - FET Aug 2004 - Twin boys born April 25, 2005!!!
Hi, Sand, Staci, Nes and Alicia
Thank you for all your replies, I have read them all several times now and it really does help to get opinions from other women who have had these experiences to.
I am feeling more positve again and have decided I will definately opt to have atleast the completely blocked tube out, for the pain it causes also. It means being on the waiting list but atleast I know it will be done, at some point next year.
Nes and Alicia did you find that once the tubes were removed it helped with the cycle pain each month particularly around ovulation and also just before your period. The nurse said to me there was no guarantee that the pain would go.
Nes, I hope that you are recovering well, take it easy
Many thanks to all Jjj x
Thank you for all your replies, I have read them all several times now and it really does help to get opinions from other women who have had these experiences to.
I am feeling more positve again and have decided I will definately opt to have atleast the completely blocked tube out, for the pain it causes also. It means being on the waiting list but atleast I know it will be done, at some point next year.
Nes and Alicia did you find that once the tubes were removed it helped with the cycle pain each month particularly around ovulation and also just before your period. The nurse said to me there was no guarantee that the pain would go.
Nes, I hope that you are recovering well, take it easy
Many thanks to all Jjj x
Jjj
Jjj,
Strangely, I didn't have any pain from my blocked tubes, even though both were blocked completely and holding fluid. But I can tell you that the operation went surprisingly smoothly. I only had minor pain and only for a day or so.
The worst part was the diet they put you on to clear the bowels before the operation. It was liquid only for a day and I think nothing the day after that. So I was really hungry.
Alicia
Strangely, I didn't have any pain from my blocked tubes, even though both were blocked completely and holding fluid. But I can tell you that the operation went surprisingly smoothly. I only had minor pain and only for a day or so.
The worst part was the diet they put you on to clear the bowels before the operation. It was liquid only for a day and I think nothing the day after that. So I was really hungry.
Alicia
Hi Jjj,
I read your post and really wanted to reply too. I really share your feelings and emotions.. I found out earlier this year that my tubes were damaged after I had an ectopic pregnancy at 8 wks. I lost that tube, and was told my remaining tube is scarred and our best chance would be IVF. It's just so confusing as part of me thinks there is still in between IVF cycles a small chance of natural pg, but mainly I think if it's that bad why did they leave it in and risk another Ep even with IVF treatment. It made the hellish 2ww even worse just constantly worrying the embies may go to the wrong place again, that it does make me feel if IVF is the best option then it would probably make the IVF journey smoother if they were not there, especially as we don't want to jepordise implantation.
Can they scan you especially to check for fluid? I was told I may not be able to go ahead with my remaining tube if there was fluid, so before my hospital even agreed to go ahead, I was checked for this, which luckily was ok. Have your clinic/hospital spoken about checking that for certain? That would give you peice of mind?
It's such a hard thing to deal with, but you are not alone, and we're all here anytime you want to have a chat as I feel it really helps to get things off your chest. I also completely agree with the girls, I have chatted with so many people that have had many more cycles and got their BFP!
Thinking of you - mail me anytime if you need a chat..
Kel x
I read your post and really wanted to reply too. I really share your feelings and emotions.. I found out earlier this year that my tubes were damaged after I had an ectopic pregnancy at 8 wks. I lost that tube, and was told my remaining tube is scarred and our best chance would be IVF. It's just so confusing as part of me thinks there is still in between IVF cycles a small chance of natural pg, but mainly I think if it's that bad why did they leave it in and risk another Ep even with IVF treatment. It made the hellish 2ww even worse just constantly worrying the embies may go to the wrong place again, that it does make me feel if IVF is the best option then it would probably make the IVF journey smoother if they were not there, especially as we don't want to jepordise implantation.
Can they scan you especially to check for fluid? I was told I may not be able to go ahead with my remaining tube if there was fluid, so before my hospital even agreed to go ahead, I was checked for this, which luckily was ok. Have your clinic/hospital spoken about checking that for certain? That would give you peice of mind?
It's such a hard thing to deal with, but you are not alone, and we're all here anytime you want to have a chat as I feel it really helps to get things off your chest. I also completely agree with the girls, I have chatted with so many people that have had many more cycles and got their BFP!
Thinking of you - mail me anytime if you need a chat..
Kel x
Hi Kel, thank you for your reply. When I last had laser surgery on tubes approximately two years ago I was told that they did not hold water, but maybe they are now, hence the pain. That was a good point about the scan, I am waiting for an NHS appointment to come through I hope in January to see the surgeon but then I will probably have to wait until the summer before the op. Keep in touch Jjj x
Jjj