Bad news.

DeniseM · Post by **DeniseM** » Mon May 16, 2005 9:05 pm

Hi Debra,

We haven't met yet, but your story touches me, breaks my heart.

Not sure what's worse, not getting pg, or losing it when you have it.

Take care of yourself, I'm doing the same right now too.

Thank god your support group and your medical professionals are there for you.

Hang in there,
Denise

nes · Post by **nes** » Mon May 16, 2005 9:30 pm

I'm so sorry for your loss, I don't know what to say.

I hope that you take enough time to heal your self, and however hard and horrible it may seem, remember that your little one will be with you always...

Even if you cant see them... x... my thoughts are with you...
Nes*

DebraP · Post by **DebraP** » Tue May 17, 2005 6:25 am

As always, I'm blown away at how lovely you all are. So generous with your kind words when we're ALL going through less than ideal times. Thank you for your thoughts and wishes.

An update....Emotionally I'm OK, I've talked it all through with friends several times, DF and I talk lots and I can take a balanced look at the one or two positive things that shine through. We DID manage a nearly 2m pg which might, in a different location, have gone full term. No indications that it couldn't have worked. Our egg quality and fertilisation rate were good so we can tentatively hope that the frozen 3 eggs each stand a fair chance of making it after ET. I've read a bit more on ectopics now and there's no negative impact on fertility esp. to someone undergoing IVF. Lastly, I take heart in remembering the doctor who came to give us post-op feedback. She said they'd done everything possible to make sure everything was as good as can possibly be in there now. We said that it was early days but that we've 3 frosties, she then took my hand and vigorously shook me and said 'you must try again, you must'. It was also what the clinic told DF when he rang to explain why we wouldn't be turning up for our scan.

Physically. Well, this is easily my worst ever AF. Pains are constant and very strong, backache and shocking cramps but it was bound to be. In can only last another few days I would think, and at least I can take painkillers now.

Thanks for indulging my whittering on.
Debra

taylorjools · Post by **taylorjools** » Tue May 17, 2005 7:00 am

Thinking of you D, so glad you have such good support from the professionals around you, and you are right, everything is on your side for a successful pg with your frosties when you are ready, hold that thought

Love bigJ

Alette · Post by **Alette** » Tue May 17, 2005 10:37 am

I am so sorry to read this horrible news,
I do not find words.

A big hug of comfort from me to you Debra.

Alette

pauline69 · Post by **pauline69** » Tue May 17, 2005 10:48 am

Debra, so very sorry to hear you news. Take care.

Pauline

Sand · Post by **Sand** » Tue May 17, 2005 10:54 am

Debra ... Thanks for your update this morning - lovely to hear from you ...

Reading your words I can feel your positivity shining right through, and that's what makes you, you. Whatever happens to smack you in the face is just pushed to one side, and you strive on. That's how I know that you WILL reach your goal.

Sandra xx

taylorjools · Post by **taylorjools** » Tue May 17, 2005 11:52 am

well said Sand, she is amazing isn't she???

Love to you D

bigJ

LittleP · Post by **LittleP** » Tue May 17, 2005 11:55 am

I agree - "inspiration" is a word for you Debra.

I hope that you are ok.

PMA and hugs

Little P

Dolly · Post by **Dolly** » Tue May 17, 2005 12:39 pm

Debra, I really am so sorry to hear your news. I've had 2 ectopics and understand what you are going through.

As hard as it is - you are right to take some comfort in the fact that you did get pregnant and were just unlucky (something I have heard many times) - but at least it helps to give you the strength to do it again.

AF will be very heavy for short time - but then you might have a couple of weeks of spotting after that (I had this on both occasions) - but the pain will go.

Again, I am really so sorry you have had to go through this.

Sending you lots of love and gentle hugs

Dolly

DebraP · Post by **DebraP** » Tue May 17, 2005 5:08 pm

Dolly, thanks for the practical info. I hope today was the worst but at least now I know it could roll on longer.

Thanks to everyone for your feedback. I had a wobbly few hours earlier but am feeling a bit better now.

Sandra, BigJ and Little P - stop it, I'll blush!

hugs
Debra

katylark · Post by **katylark** » Wed May 18, 2005 2:17 am

Debra,
I too am speechless and have tears rolling down my cheeks reading your posts. Words cannot begin to describe what you have endured yet you seem to have such a positive outlook which is inspiration to us all. Your dr. had some words of encouragement and wisdom, too. Please listen to her and proceed when you and dh are ready. Please take some time to rest and relax. I will keep you in my prayers and know we are all here for you!

Big hugs and lots of love,
Katy

kappy · Post by **kappy** » Wed May 18, 2005 4:32 pm

Debra,
I am so sorry to hear your news. I cannot seem to find the right words to express my sympathy.

You are an amazing woman. Please stay strong, take loads of time to recover, and when ready consider your doctor's advise.

You're in my thoughts and prayers.
Kelly

michelle_in_scotland · Fri May 20, 2005 4:23 pm

Oh Debra, i'm so sorry to hear about your loss.
I'm sorry i haven't posted sooner but i've been off the boards for a while (family troubles still).
I'm absolutely gutted for you, you have been such a help to me with all your advice.
You are in my thoughts.
Take care,
Lotsa love

Michelle
xxxx

Leanne · Post by **Leanne** » Fri May 20, 2005 8:18 pm

Debrah,
I know I speak for everyone who reads the board.
No words can tell you how sorry we all are. It is like a shared pain between us all when we read bad news, but I know it doesn't come close to the pain you are going through. If we could take away any of that pain we would, all we can do is tell you how sorry we are and let you know we are all here for you.

Look after yourself x

Bad news.

My heart goes out for you

sorry

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