Morning ladies,
Okay, so the technician called while I was writing personals... and I have the news. And they are not so good. 2 frosties survived, but... she said they were "moderate quality", whatever that means. It's all in the way she phrased it, it was horrible... "They were 6 cells yesterday, and this morning there was one brown cell, so a dead cell... but they were 8 cells this morning, so that's why we'll transfer them, because they're dividing." The way she said it... like they baaarely made it and we'll transfer them but they're really borderline...
Ouch, this is bad... DH was disappointed too. I mean, there's ALWAYS something wrong with our cycles. Before, there was ALWAYS a problem with my body. OHSS, big cysts, liquid in my tubes, HUGE right tube, and so on. Always something. Never the embies. And now, when my body is finally cooperating after 3 surgeries, the embies are moderate quality. I'm SO angry and sad and disappointed at the same time! I remember our last frosties... there were so many cells on transfer day!!! I mean, like 15-16 cells!!! They had been frozen on day 3, just like these. And now our frosties barely made it to 8 cells!!! 8 miserable cells on day 4!!!! Oh, this is not good at all...
I know what I must do. I know that many people here had low-quality embies and they became pregnant, I know, I've read their posts. I've seen them be miserable as I am right now, and become pregnant all the same. I also know that everything is happening exactly the way it should, even if I don't understand everything or if it seems terribly unfair. I know I'm hard on them. They're just a little sleepy, they're not abnormal, just a little slow. I know I should welcome those little embies no matter what quality they are and give that 2ww my very best, give them an honest chance even in my head. But it's really hard to do right now.
Okay, okay... silly as it seems, that's working. Sleepy embies. I can live with that. Cells are normal, one dead cell is not the end of the world even if it's the first time it happens. They're just dividing slowly, but still, they're dividing. They're alive. They survived the thaw but they need to wake up a little bit and realize they have to do the work now. I'll give them a chance. The rest is completely out of my hands and I have to live with that. That's what faith is about, right? No guarantees... but you do jump in with all your might all the same.
So that's the news ladies... I'll go to the clinic at 10:30 for the transfer. And I'll try to be in a better mood by then!

talking to the nurses and doc will help I'm sure.
Lots of hugs ladies! Sorry the news isn't better...
Sophie